🗑️ Trashfire StyxHexenhammer666 / Tarl Warwick - Oddball Occultist Neckbeard (who can make some interesting content) + his many scorned exes

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until I spoke with Mel.
Why do you bitches all talk to each other?

I was on the fence about whether he had made up the seizure story to skip his probation violation hearing. You absolutely want a lawyer for that. Blowing it off tho will not be viewed favorably by court, he should have showed, asked for time to retain counsel, and gotten the same extension he has, but without a failure to appear.
 
Best case is he learns a few tools to assist him once he's out, and starts attending AA/NA meetings, but that's extremely wishful thinking.
AA requires accepting a higher power. Tard only worships a lower power. Stolas and Lucifer aren't going to get anyone sober.
Blowing it off tho will not be viewed favorably by court, he should have showed, asked for time to retain counsel, and gotten the same extension he has, but without a failure to appear.
I doubt he planned it as some scheme. He just woke up really hung over and blew it off.
 
Tarl's on the lam.

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He's gotta decrease those wanted stars.
 
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Maybe it's rehab???

I highly doubt it, though even if he is going in for a stint, it's likely only temporary to give him a chance in hell of giving 2 clean drug tests (as another user stated above). Even if the best-case-scenario happens and he goes in for a full stint, he's still going to prison no matter what, which will then give him lots of time to think about his wrecked marriage, Youtube career, and worst of all, severely diminished physical health and cognitive faculties. He's past the point of no return and he knows it, which is why I'm still betting on him slowly drinking himself to death over anything else.
 
This nigger is losing his mind, but the question is; is it the booze, Nikki's knuckles, or a combo of both?
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I like the little trail of clues he's giving out. "I'm in transit", "here's the name of a town", "I may be on a bus!". It all comes back to him reading his thread because nobody else cares. Even then the speculation is about how punch drunk or regular drunk he is.

Tarl, for all the goofy shit you get up to I'm surprised at how little anyone gives a shit. If just about anyone else pulled a stunt like faking a seizure at court, including a random poster in this thread, it'd be featured and be big news. You? A footnote. Livestreams can't talk about you for more than 5 minutes before moving on to something else. I don't really understand why either, you're a goofy retard pirate and a monumental fuck up, should be gold. Stolas must have cursed you with irrelevance or something.
 
I highly doubt it, though even if he is going in for a stint, it's likely only temporary to give him a chance in hell of giving 2 clean drug tests (as another user stated above). Even if the best-case-scenario happens and he goes in for a full stint, he's still going to prison no matter what, which will then give him lots of time to think about his wrecked marriage,
Let's not be optimistic. This nigga is going to be brewing toilet wine! 🤣
 
This nigger is losing his mind, but the question is; is it the booze, Nikki's knuckles, or a combo of both?
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Bad bunny joke?


Assuming he's in Shaft and Berries for the treatment facility, wouldn't he need the court's blessing, if not a court order? He is pushing limits and/or being downright defiant every chance he gets.

Well at least now when the judge is looking to revoke probation she'll know just the funny farm to pluck him from.
 
If* it is rehab, it’s so he can white knuckle sobriety enough to get the two clean piss tests
If they're testing for everything, including doing a PEth blood test, which can trace metabolites of alcohol for a month or more in some cases, he's fucked whether he's at rehab or not. THC also stays in the body longer than people think, especially when you're a chronic user like he is.
 
The only thing worth taking at face value about his tweets is that he still has access to his phone.

Edit: It could be another device. My point overall is that he has access to X.
 
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So what is the general thought my fellow crewmen? Is Private Retarl really dying? Or faking in a desperate attempt to avoid the dungeon? Even though he is risking more jail time if he does.
 
If they're testing for everything, including doing a PEth blood test, which can trace metabolites of alcohol for a month or more in some cases, he's fucked whether he's at rehab or not. THC also stays in the body longer than people think, especially when you're a chronic user like he is.
I highly doubt it’s a blood test, usually it is just a piss test and alcohol won’t pop up after a couple days. THC will for a month, so yeah he is fucked either way. Plus courts don’t fuck with breaking no contact orders so he is already screwed. The last desperate attempt of some drunken pirate making up a half brained plan (if he is doing rehab)


@TheLostMarxBrotherFucko
He is cooked
 
Assuming he's in Shaft and Berries for the treatment facility, wouldn't he need the court's blessing,
No he could sign himself into a treatment facility, and since his appearance in NOLA was apparently virtual the facility would likely facilitate his virtual appearance. The staff would make sure his paperwork granting access to his records made it to the prosecutor. Lawyers will often suggest to clients with cases involving drugs to get started on treatment if it's likely to be mandated, before the judge orders it, because it looks better (that the person is taking it seriously and doesn't want to go to jail). Being in different states tho complicates that because LA and VT might have different treatment requirements, and if he's doing treatment for LA in VT the staff might not be familiar with the requirements. He should have checked into some out patient classes tho for the VT charges this because he was accused of being intoxicated (wasn't he? Am I mistaken?). If he talked to a lawyer in VT he could probably find an easy approved treatment center, the kind where they ua him, but don't really check to hard to see if he's cheating. I'm all for a fugitive pirate arc, but his crippling anxiety is going to make that difficult (and funny).
 
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