Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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AnOminous said:
There's a Chicago pizzeria called Lou Malnati's that ships packs of half-baked pizzas you can finish. They're four for $95 which isn't insane, considering a delivered pizza easily runs $20. It costs about $50 for one, which would be insane, though, much like this apple pie.

Either, though, is an outrageous expenditure for this asshole who is pleading poverty and begging for money.

He's also implying this isn't some kind of one time deal, he's splurging on this shit. Maybe he's being paid to shill like the mangosteen shit, which he should disclose if so because it wouldn't cost him as much Patreon money as he's getting paid,.
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No, I'm sorry if you pay 95$ for four pizzas you're a fucking retard, at best. But 50$ for a fucking pie lmao hey hold up *logs into SA* yo faggots- I mean uh special unique best community on the interwebz~!11!!!!1!! I am real hard up rn to uh, pay the forum website hosting people or whatever and I'm realllly trying to make the basic search functionality work this time I promise lol I just need you guys to open your hearts and wallets and help me save somethingawful, the best interwebznetz community also mumble mumble my spine is debilitating and DONT BELIEVE THE AWFUL STUFF THE NAZIS AT KF ARE SAYING NONE OF ITS TRUE!!! thank u for luving pupkins lol wAcKy ZaNy~~~ PEACE OUT GOOFTROOP! *writes letter to own teenage daughter calling her a piece of shit who he doesn't want to see for calling him out on his scumfuck behaviors*


lol I hope Lowtax dies
 
X Prime said:

/!\[OFFICIAL]/!\FYAD refugee encampment thread - The Something Awful Forums

forums.somethingawful.com forums.somethingawful.com

Apparently Lowtax is buying food from Goldbelly.com using his Patreon money. Below is the item he specifically recommended:

www.goldbelly.com

"World Famous" Brown Bag Apple Pie

If you love me you'll buy me "World Famous" Brown Bag Apple Pie on Goldbelly.com. At Goldbelly we are explorers of food and we are finding the most ridiculously yummy foods and shipping them to your door. You're welcome!
www.goldbelly.com www.goldbelly.com
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This post honestly feels like him shilling for Goldbelly. Maybe he's being paid under the table like he undoubtedly was for the mangosteen incident.

edit: beaten
 
Richard "LowT" Kyanka: entrepreneur, internet influencer, forum lord, deadbeat dad, drug addict extraordinaire. Ladies, ladies, ladies, one at a time please!
 
LowT pathetically groveling for pennies while also loudly declaring he's Going His Own Way. This is an announcement on the forum so every user gets alerted to this.
 

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Ilmseil said:
No, I'm sorry if you pay 95$ for four pizzas you're a fucking exceptional individual, at best. But 50$ for a fucking pie lmao hey hold up *logs into SA* yo faggots- I mean uh special unique best community on the interwebz~!11!!!!1!! I am real hard up rn to uh, pay the forum website hosting people or whatever and I'm realllly trying to make the basic search functionality work this time I promise lol I just need you guys to open your hearts and wallets and help me save somethingawful, the best interwebznetz community also mumble mumble my spine is debilitating and DONT BELIEVE THE AWFUL STUFF THE NAZIS AT KF ARE SAYING NONE OF ITS TRUE!!! thank u for luving pupkins lol wAcKy ZaNy~~~ PEACE OUT GOOFTROOP! *writes letter to own teenage daughter calling her a piece of shit who he doesn't want to see for calling him out on his scumfuck behaviors*


lol I hope Lowtax dies
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$25 for a large is about what you'd pay in california for any non-national-chain pizza, and that's for shit-tier left coast pie.
However, since california is populated almost exclusively by retards, your point stands.
 
Why is he still peddling NordVPN shit after the data breach? Why try this after distrust of them is at an all time high? Why is ten thousand dollars a month for basically fuck all still not adequate?

He's literally just peddling malware to these gullible retards instead of mangosteen now. At least you can eat mangosteen!
 
Humble Shitpost Merchant said:
Why is he still peddling NordVPN shit after the data breach? Why try this after distrust of them is at an all time high? Why is ten thousand dollars a month for basically fuck all still not adequate?

He's literally just peddling malware to these gullible exceptional individuals instead of mangosteen now. At least you can eat mangosteen!
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Because Nord still pays referral dollars, and as usual Lowtax is about 5-10 years behind the times.
 
Ghostse said:
Because Nord still pays referral dollars, and as usual Lowtax is about 5-10 years behind the times.
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It's cheaper to get Nord direct from Nord than through his referral, so you might as well just donate money to him as use his referral link.
 
repentance said:
It's cheaper to get Nord direct from Nord than through his referral, so you might as well just donate money to him as use his referral link.
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Well anyone who really wanted to help Lowtax would mail him a plastic bag, a roll of ductape, and a canister of helium.
 
Dafuqisdis? said:
This post honestly feels like him shilling for Goldbelly. Maybe he's being paid under the table like he undoubtedly was for the mangosteen incident.

edit: beaten
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The Mangosteen link he posted was an Amazon Affiliate link, so he was making a tiny bit of cash off of anyone who clicked it and bought it through him. So yeah, he was, though Lowtax is a terrible salesman who doesn't understand how if he wants to do high-pressure marketing, the #1 rule is to keep his composure, and not throw a fit after people say "hey this sounds like high-pressure marketing".

Goondolences said:
LowT pathetically groveling for pennies while also loudly declaring he's Going His Own Way. This is an announcement on the forum so every user gets alerted to this.
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And he hasn't learned a single fucking thing over the past 13 years. This is really how Lowtax shills shit.

Why doesn't he just get a Dollar Shave Club referral link? They'll work with anyone. Just do that and go full Gillette on the forums, and maybe he'll get a few pity signups.

Hell, another thing he could do for the forums is to just add, like, different levels of donor stars. Donate $1-49.99, you'll get a little white star by your name. Donate $50-99.99, you'll get a green, $100-299.99, a gold, $300-499.99, a rainbow, and $500+ gets you a trans flag star. $1000+ gets you the ability to change the background of your posts into the trans flag. Make it happen Lowtaxico
 
Pissmaster General said:
The Mangosteen link he posted was an Amazon Affiliate link, so he was making a tiny bit of cash off of anyone who clicked it and bought it through him. So yeah, he was, though Lowtax is a terrible salesman who doesn't understand how if he wants to do high-pressure marketing, the #1 rule is to keep his composure, and not throw a fit after people say "hey this sounds like high-pressure marketing".


And he hasn't learned a single fucking thing over the past 13 years. This is really how Lowtax shills shit.

Why doesn't he just get a Dollar Shave Club referral link? They'll work with anyone. Just do that and go full Gillette on the forums, and maybe he'll get a few pity signups.

Hell, another thing he could do for the forums is to just add, like, different levels of donor stars. Donate $1-49.99, you'll get a little white star by your name. Donate $50-99.99, you'll get a green, $100-299.99, a gold, $300-499.99, a rainbow, and $500+ gets you a trans flag star. $1000+ gets you the ability to change the background of your posts into the trans flag. Make it happen Lowtaxico
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I always wonder how much money that mod of Coupons makes from all the amazon referrals link with all the stuff he finds and posts. If Lowtax actually took some effort with his website he could have made any link clicked on from SA automatically have his own referral link butttttttttttttttttttttt that would require some sort of effort on his part.
 
Back me up! said:
I always wonder how much money that mod of Coupons makes from all the amazon referrals link with all the stuff he finds and posts. If Lowtax actually took some effort with his website he could have made any link clicked on from SA automatically have his own referral link butttttttttttttttttttttt that would require some sort of effort on his part.
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It's even funnier when you remember that it's bannable for literally any other SA member to post a referral link to anything, even if it's inadvertent.
 
Pissmaster General said:
The Mangosteen link he posted was an Amazon Affiliate link, so he was making a tiny bit of cash off of anyone who clicked it and bought it through him. So yeah, he was, though Lowtax is a terrible salesman who doesn't understand how if he wants to do high-pressure marketing, the #1 rule is to keep his composure, and not throw a fit after people say "hey this sounds like high-pressure marketing".


And he hasn't learned a single fucking thing over the past 13 years. This is really how Lowtax shills shit.

Why doesn't he just get a Dollar Shave Club referral link? They'll work with anyone. Just do that and go full Gillette on the forums, and maybe he'll get a few pity signups.

Hell, another thing he could do for the forums is to just add, like, different levels of donor stars. Donate $1-49.99, you'll get a little white star by your name. Donate $50-99.99, you'll get a green, $100-299.99, a gold, $300-499.99, a rainbow, and $500+ gets you a trans flag star. $1000+ gets you the ability to change the background of your posts into the trans flag. Make it happen Lowtaxico
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His excuse will be blaming the duct taped rats nest of code that he is a poor victim of and that’s why he can’t make those changes.

I think a good idea for authoritarian goons is paying $500 or more bux to ban someone. The forum will collapse further into chaos and irrelevancy but there are enough wealthy goons and goons spending their tugboats on banning a wrongthinker. Hell, charge $10,000 to get one of those wacky and zany 10,000 hour probations. You’d be surprised how many goons will jump on that.

Not like the board is worth saving and it will keep Richard in enough opiates and gives him enough money to buy plane tickets to fuck the next low self esteem goonette he stumbles across.
 
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NeoGAF Lurker said:
His excuse will be blaming the duct taped rats nest of code that he is a poor victim of and that’s why he can’t make those changes.

I think a good idea for authoritarian goons is paying $500 or more bux to ban someone. The forum will collapse further into chaos and irrelevancy but there are enough wealthy goons and goons spending their tugboats on banning a wrongthinker. Hell, charge $10,000 to get one of those wacky and zany 10,000 hour probations. You’d be surprised how many goons will jump on that.

Not like the board is worth saving and it will keep Richard in enough opiates and gives him enough money to buy plane tickets to fuck the next low self esteem goonette he stumbles across.
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They have dropped $20,000 on pretend spaceships for a game that is like 4 years behind release schedule. $10,000 for a 10,000 hour probe would at least generate real goontears.

Charge $1/hour to probe other posters. Let them pay $0.10/hr to lift it. That's how you really get some ambien money.

But again, Lowtax is an addict. He currently gets enough money for his drugs, and implementing that system requires more effort than "none", so it won't be happening.
 
werewolf rape erotica said:
It's even funnier when you remember that it's bannable for literally any other SA member to post a referral link to anything, even if it's inadvertent.
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The catalyst of all this were diet programs that actually worked too. Waaaaaaaay back in 2007 when Richard was trying to lionize Xango as a cure-all for goonism, there were others shilling Medifast, and SwolePT to a lesser degree, and those actually remarkably worked on the userbase based on Watch & Weight testimonials. However with Medifast specifically, the goons doing the shilling had endless cross-forum promotion threads, and a fuckton of banner ads that were referral links in disguise when they weren't links to the threads themselves, but the kicker was that these had more interest than mangosteen juice, and we can't have that now, can we?

When Helldump started dropping flares during one of Rich and EPG's psychotic HELLTANK benders, they put their svelte feet down on anything that resembled a chain referral or "diet pyramid scam" (yes, Lowtax tried to claim the Medifast goons were the ones running a scam), and the compromise to avoid killing a giant successful thread was to remove all focus on Medifast specifically, and call it "The Very Low Calorie Diet Discussion Thread". It naturally died when the topic was deemed verboten, and the chunk of W&W that didn't keep quiet or adapt went on to being the chunk of W&W who lived off of bacon products and Wendy's, with the average fancy dinner being a J-bake (no tomate), nugs, and a Frosty
 
Blimp said:
The catalyst of all this were diet programs that actually worked too. Waaaaaaaay back in 2007 when Richard was trying to lionize Xango as a cure-all for goonism, there were others shilling Medifast, and SwolePT to a lesser degree, and those actually remarkably worked on the userbase based on Watch & Weight testimonials. However with Medifast specifically, the goons doing the shilling had endless cross-forum promotion threads, and a fuckton of banner ads that were referral links in disguise when they weren't links to the threads themselves, but the kicker was that these had more interest than mangosteen juice, and we can't have that now, can we?

When Helldump started dropping flares during one of Rich and EPG's psychotic HELLTANK benders, they put their svelte feet down on anything that resembled a chain referral or "diet pyramid scam" (yes, Lowtax tried to claim the Medifast goons were the ones running a scam), and the compromise to avoid killing a giant successful thread was to remove all focus on Medifast specifically, and call it "The Very Low Calorie Diet Discussion Thread". It naturally died when the topic was deemed verboten, and the chunk of W&W that didn't keep quiet or adapt went on to being the chunk of W&W who lived off of bacon products and Wendy's, with the average fancy dinner being a J-bake (no tomate), nugs, and a Frosty
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Now this was my era.

Alot of tubby fat ass goons got into shape with medifast. If it was a scheme to make money it was well worth it...the transformations were amazing.

I still see red head goon in clickbait ads all over the place and its been over a decade.

She posted her transformation in that thread.



Mangosteen was just a sleazy attempt for lowtax to make a few hundred dollars. Mangosteen doesnt do shit for anybody...we now know.
 
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