Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
TheMonkeyMan said:
I’m pretty sure that the first one is the guy who had part of his anus fall out.
Click to expand...
ge cafe

I decided it'd be fun to fuck myself earlier this evening/morning. So I greased up Mr Sunshine and went to work. I had fun for 10 minutes and came. Then I was feeling the need to shower, so I did.

This is where things get graphic. Stop here if you don't want to cry.

Shortly after I started my shower, I felt a bit of matter coming out. Not terribly unusual, I just got done pounding my ass. It landed on the floor of the shower. A few moments later I notice it's moving... strangely as it slowly gets washed towards the drain.

Last chance to stop. It's horriffic.
I nudge it with my toe and, to my horror, realize it's one piece. As in, a connected piece, as if it were... tissue. I think it's a bit of the outer layer of the colon. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just crapped a piece of my ass out of my ass. I get it down the drain as quickly as possible and then sit down in the tub, I felt like I was having a panic attack. I'd had plenty of ass sex before and not noticed this. Maybe this happened and I simply didn't notice it, or maybe the ass "sheds" like this on its own occasionally, and no one really notices it (or admits they did). My ass didn't hurt at all, but it does now, kind of, probably because I haven't stopped thinking about this horror for the last 90 minutes.

So the moral of the story is I really don't want to do this again. It makes me sad because I enjoy anal sex. Maybe others have heartier colons that I. But for god's sake, use condoms. If anything with a pulse goes in there, make sure it's sheathed.
 
lightswitchdoll said:
ge cafe

I decided it'd be fun to fuck myself earlier this evening/morning. So I greased up Mr Sunshine and went to work. I had fun for 10 minutes and came. Then I was feeling the need to shower, so I did.

This is where things get graphic. Stop here if you don't want to cry.

Shortly after I started my shower, I felt a bit of matter coming out. Not terribly unusual, I just got done pounding my ass. It landed on the floor of the shower. A few moments later I notice it's moving... strangely as it slowly gets washed towards the drain.

Last chance to stop. It's horriffic.
I nudge it with my toe and, to my horror, realize it's one piece. As in, a connected piece, as if it were... tissue. I think it's a bit of the outer layer of the colon. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just crapped a piece of my ass out of my ass. I get it down the drain as quickly as possible and then sit down in the tub, I felt like I was having a panic attack. I'd had plenty of ass sex before and not noticed this. Maybe this happened and I simply didn't notice it, or maybe the ass "sheds" like this on its own occasionally, and no one really notices it (or admits they did). My ass didn't hurt at all, but it does now, kind of, probably because I haven't stopped thinking about this horror for the last 90 minutes.

So the moral of the story is I really don't want to do this again. It makes me sad because I enjoy anal sex. Maybe others have heartier colons that I. But for god's sake, use condoms. If anything with a pulse goes in there, make sure it's sheathed.
Click to expand...
Yeah, just maybe anuses were meant to be exit only.
 
Leonard Helplessness said:
And BFC is now in the process of getting pozzed, starting with D&D goons flooding into the "how to own rental property" thread to shit it up with "guillotine all landlords" posts.

Meanwhile, the admins can't be assed to do their one job:

View attachment 813947
Click to expand...

The poz has been rotting BFC for a few years unfortunately. Poz Zero is the thread where people complain about their jobs. Most complaints are of goons who whine about being passed over for raises and promotions because they spend 6 hours a day on social media because they believe they don’t have to do anything beyond the bare minimum laid out in their job descriptions. Then it turns into tankie babble to justify being a lazy sack of shit. If the goon is a curvy goonette, they talk about how hard it is to work while having a vagina and how they’re being sexually harassed.

The goons all try to find another job and when they do, they squee about how they’re ditching their toxic cisbigoted employers. A few weeks into the new job, the same complaints arise. Rinse and repeat. Yet these goons never once think that it could be them that’s the problem.
 
Triggered Fivehead said:
Found a folder with old "goon" pictures.

View attachment 815830 View attachment 815834 View attachment 815835View attachment 815836 View attachment 815837
Click to expand...
Not a single goon ever seems to understand that taking a photo with the flash on always just makes you look really greasy. Well, I mean on top of just actually being greasy.

Why does the first one's head look like his skull's housing a nest of hornets?

In retrospect, this also reminds me of a genuinely good article Something Awful had a while back where they took less-than-flattering photos of goons and redrew them. With a sequel. Some highlights:

816125


816126


816127


816128
 
This is the SA I miss. Today people would be banned and shamed if they even talked about redrawing a troon or fatty.

Case in point. This would be a permaban today:

Something Awful - Goons 2 Fudgement Day.png
 
My favourite example of goons mocking other goons is elfpr0n.

Back in 2004 she was one of the few female goons, so naturally everyone would lust after her. Then she turned up at a goon meet and, to the surprise of no one, she was chubby and looked kinda weird.
39ccpX3.jpg



slimer6ah.gif elfzilla7ix.gif elfpr0ncrane8pz.jpg elfpr0nhelo1uf.jpg omarie2co.jpg
 
Implying Lowtax knows anything about moderation, both internet janitor duties and the avoidance of excess or extremes.
 
northstar747 said:
Sucks as in they arent woke enough? Or just sucks in general?
Click to expand...

Sucks as in they don't follow the highly successful SA model of moderation.

Of course Lowtax chooses to ignore quite a few things about the SA model, such as how common doxing was on SA, how the "organic" method of admins choosing mods led to a convicted pedo being a moderator, and the several murders committed by SA posters. He's trying to spin it as SA having always been as woke as it is now.
 
repentance said:
Sucks as in they don't follow the highly successful SA model of moderation.

Of course Lowtax chooses to ignore quite a few things about the SA model, such as how common doxing was on SA, how the "organic" method of admins choosing mods led to a convicted pedo being a moderator, and the several murders committed by SA posters. He's trying to spin it as SA having always been as woke as it is now.
Click to expand...

Someone should bring up the 9/11 thread. It would make their heads explode. Then again, it was a lot of cis males that died that day so they might celebrate it instead.
 
Stoneheart said:
Today i had a Goon scream at me in mumble for about an hour... somebody leaked some stuff over the past weeks and they lost alot of isk...
Mittlers idiots are getting more and more stupid.
Click to expand...

Was it really a Goon? Even when I played back in 2011 the true number of people originating from SA was dropping like a rock. Like SA itself, the Goonswarm organization always engaged in a self defeating process of isolating and banning content creators. When my turn for banning came around the EVE group was a sliver from dying outright, the little schism we had was probably the best thing for my group.
 
attractive_pneumonia said:
Was it really a Goon? Even when I played back in 2011 the true number of people originating from SA was dropping like a rock. Like SA itself, the Goonswarm organization always engaged in a self defeating process of isolating and banning content creators. When my turn for banning came around the EVE group was a sliver from dying outright, the little schism we had was probably the best thing for my group.
Click to expand...


there was alot of join for guild back in the day. some goons would even pimp out their accounts for others.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom