Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 said:
Chinese dating habits are a bit different from the western ones so I understand his frustration with the dating apps.
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I knew a guy who did the "English teaching in Japan" thing, and believing it was a more conservative society accepted a lot of "highschool" dates (meeting at a coffee shop, meeting at the mall) and not escalating too quickly. But he was really perplexed by how when on the 3rd date he would suggest something more intimiate like a day trip to a neighboring tourist place just the two of them, they would immediately ghost him.

He came to learn that one of the girls he 'dated' had a boyfriend and was just using him for english language practice, and that was likely what the others were doing. Thus he learned that if a girl wanted to meet for coffee or anything that could be explained away to a boyfriend as "I was being polite to the gaijin and helping him navigate japan", it meant she was in a relationship and just wanted free english lessons.

He didn't go all the way to sending dickpics level, but first dates were always just the two of them, doing some couple type activity (Shrine visits, hikes, some couple restaurant, drinks at a bar, etc) or he blocked them. Or if they were cute enough, he'd do a hail mary and just propose a Love Hotel as the date spot. It worked more than you you'd think. "Less than half but more than a third".
 
You'd be surprised what you could get away with by simply being over six feet tall in Asia and not looking like a total retard. Without PLing too hard, it was interesting walking through crowded capital markets like you were on stilts or playing Jaws in Goldeneye multiplayer, complete with gawking eyes. Note that I did not write anything about conversion from leads to sales, just pointing out the facts.

I think if you were a confident predator you could clean up nicely but of course the concept of actually talking to women (true and honest ones) makes goons nervous and upset and jealous. Moreso even if you're out there laying their mythical waifus.
 
Me thinking back to when i lived in china in the early 2000's:
Good times, man. Good, weird times. I could go on with some PG rated and up tales but this ain't the thread for it. Suffice to say, go check it out if you get a chance. It's an interesting place.
 
Brain Problems said:
I think if you were a confident predator you could clean up nicely
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to avoid tmi/pl:
If you were a manlet, you were boned. If you were swarthy, you were boned. If you were tall and visibly white and didn't have any tats or a beard, and under 30 and not fat, you could just stroll into the entertainment district and they would find you.

There is segment of the population of any asian country that just wants white dick. This is for several reasons; a lot of the Japanese Gaijin hunters, it was a combination of being free from Japanese relationship expectations (if a girl goes much beyond the "self-heated real doll act" she's a filthy slut) and the fact that no one knows you and you don't know anyone, the ultimate in NSA fucking. There was trend for a while, maybe still going but it was rampant, of wanting a happa baby.

In china its similar but there is a segment of "pump me full of your thick sticky citizenship gweilo". Also unlike Japan where the women usually were just too busy with college or professional, they all had a boyfriend or husband they were cucking with you.

Thai and Viet girls are out for... economic gains but not purely mercenary reasons. Basically they would play tour guide and you could have a general sort of connection, but it was just expected that you paid for everything but unless they were a literal whore they didn't treat you like an infinite money wallet. You'd pay for the hotel, but the"local contact" would get tickets and negotiate to usually less than what it would cost if you were solo. It really wasn't all the much different than dating in the US.

Indonesian girls were weird. Its a big country, but most of them approachign you in a private setting were literal whores. I understand its different on islands like Bali, but a lot of the country is muslim and very conservative and has this weird thing where they are actually very anti-white but also you are white, and therefore rich, and they want to be around you so your whiteness and wealth will rub off on them, but they also hate you and want you to leave their country.
So what it'll be is literal whores or richer-than-you sultan's daughters who want to piss off daddy by getting white'd.


Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 said:
Weren't some of the cat ladies super pissed because some goons got laid in China/Japan?
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the cat ladies were pissed that anyone was getting laid.
They hated anyone who wasn't as miserable as they were.
 
Goons (this also counts the losers at places like NeoGAF) and curvy goonettes were always angry about guys bleaching the local talent because they are steeped in Marxist mindsets about muh colonialism. The guys that had the least amount of access to pussy, slanted or otherwise, were the ones who felt like they were the arbiters of what is acceptable or not. The curvy goonettes and cat ladies were generally ultimately against any amount of female attention that was not directed towards them personally.

I remember places like SA or NeoGAF back in the 2000s where these schlubby guys were banging slant vagina, left, right, and center. They loved sharing photos too because over in the Grorious Nippon, they got laid more in a week than the prior five years. Of course, once social justice infected those boards, there were fewer posts made about it. I’m sure it still went on.
 
Ghostse said:
If you were a manlet, you were boned. If you were swarthy, you were boned. If you were tall and visibly white and didn't have any tats or a beard, and under 30 and not fat, you could just stroll into the entertainment district and they would find you.
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Yep, The amount of fighting I saw women do over my german roomate was fucking surreal.

He had bad genes but blue eyes and blond hair even though he was going bald so fucking fast.

There were goon E/N stories on SA during the early 2000

one goon wrote about how his dad a vietnam vet and evil cooperate lawyer divorced his mom and married a russian woman because he was into rape play. the step mom had a son that was fucking crazy.

The other goon wrote about his time living in a cult compound it wasnt a big cult it was just a self help guru that played on people.

Back in the day before facebook and everyone puting their real name and face online you could get away with telling those stories.

I would like to believe ghost pimp was real but who knows.

That frankie the dildo story was also fun.
 
Screenshot 2026-02-16 225028.png
Posting this because I think it's a really funny satire of Freudian logic.
 
Riffleraffle Lore

Apparently Proje(c)t X was a big hit in France and caused a nationwide wave of youths using fake IDs and hosting massive raucous parties.
Got this from a French guy I know...
 
Ghostse said:
Was it all just a dream?
All these moments.... gone forever. Like the p-p-p-powerbook after the brit nigger picked it up at the shoppie.
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I remember the meme of the powerbook but forgot the context. Melds in my mind of the story from (GBS?) of some loser schlepping a rush-order printer repair over to some broad's dorm or something. The cringe was off the charts.
 
Brain Problems said:
I remember the meme of the powerbook but forgot the context. Melds in my mind of the story from (GBS?) of some loser schlepping a rush-order printer repair over to some broad's dorm or something. The cringe was off the charts.
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I want to say it involved some scammer trying to trick a Goon into sending him a Powerbook . The Goon dressed up an empty box like a Powerbook, wrote "P-p-p-power Book on it", sent it to the scammer, and posted the scammer's reaction. Keep in mind this was back 20-25 years ago when it was common to buy something on ebay, send a money order or cash to the seller and then the seller would send you the item after they got their money in the mail.

*Edit* Hey look at that! Someone copied all the posts and put them in a PDF at some point! Attaching it here for archival purposes.
 

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Brain Problems said:
I remember the meme of the powerbook but forgot the context. Melds in my mind of the story from (GBS?) of some loser schlepping a rush-order printer repair over to some broad's dorm or something. The cringe was off the charts.
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Printer guy was somebody else. A goon had a crush on some girl he knew and when she needed to print something out, he took his printer to her place. She lived miles away and he had no car so he just carried it to her.
In the end, she used the printer but of course, she wanted nothing more from him, leaving him sad and depressed.

Anyway, good on her, he was a goon after all. And iirc, dude eventually killed himself, though I am not a 100% sure about that.
 
Muskcarpone said:
Printer guy was somebody else. A goon had a crush on some girl he knew and when she needed to print something out, he took his printer to her place. She lived miles away and he had no car so he just carried it to her.
In the end, she used the printer but of course, she wanted nothing more from him, leaving him sad and depressed.

Anyway, good on her, he was a goon after all. And iirc, dude eventually killed himself, though I am not a 100% sure about that.
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Hydrosan, I think was his username? Anyway, he later ran/was one of the people in charge of Goonfleet in EVE Online.
 
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