Shitty Alternate History Thread - If only the Romans had AK-47's they would've survived...

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Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
I really like the idea of Atlantropa and the League of Nations becoming the basis for a friendly, smiley-face dystopia. I just rewatched Brazil again and that's exactly the vibe, except maybe with less brutalism and more art deco. The dictatorship is a bunch of men in suits, probably bowler hats and fedoras.

Imagine if, in the aftermath of a catastrophic Great War, Europe actually adhered together. Their church Latin is Esperanto (no way anybody outside of alt-Globohomo speaks it willingly), art deco fills the world. The ideology is non-ideological totalitarianism. There are no hammers and sickles, no swastikas (or if there is, it's a historical nod, again, to its smiley face origins). Atlantropa is an absolutely retarded premise but consistent with Globohomo's love of pie-in-the-sky, hubristic projects nobody asked for that will hurt the environment even worse. Progressivism and fascism sprang from the same cloth, both overlapped with socialism. This is a world where the bullshit, fake distinction between Mussolini and Wilson and Hitler and FDR is gone because there's no great power politics to hide it. There is just pure System, System of Systems.

I find it scarier, in a way, than Axis victories or Communist victories.
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I know what the script of this "Somewhere in the Twentieth Century" Globohomo Hellworld would be.


Fabian social engineering at its finest. You WILL use these history-less, culture-less moon runes and you WILL like it. The State Committee on Lexicographic Reform finds that this will save 2% on printer ink and only add 200% to the education budget.
 
I think there should be more of what I call "micro-alt history." Alternate history with divergences so small, contained and potentially utterly irrelevant to the plot except as set dressing that their mundanity creates pathos.
 
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It's been a minute since I posted here, so let's take a look at how AltHistory.com is doing.

We have not one, but two different threads dedicated to talking about gay sex in a history setting. Plus, tankies coming out of the woodwork to cry about how the Soviets were the real victims.
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Plus another round of "Ronald Reagan was the antichrist".
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Of course, AH.com still wins out in the retard department. Users demand that all Americans everywhere feel abject shame at their birth.
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I did find a forum called The Sietch, which has an alternate history board and doesn't appear to be communist central, so if anyone cares enough they could use that instead of all the pozzed sites.
 
AmbassadorAutismo said:
I did find a forum called The Sietch, which has an alternate history board and doesn't appear to be communist central, so if anyone cares enough they could use that instead of all the pozzed sites.
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Check out the SpaceBattles thread, where there is some background on them. TheSietch was a right wing forum made by people who were kicked out of SpaceBattles (who owns AltHistory) due to a really messy and badly explained McCarthyist scare about nazi DM chains so the usual suspects would lock down Whitehall (Autistic Thunderdome) even more into shitlibery central.

Lip Glossary said:
Then he would be a man named George Soros.
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No he would have been Lehi's top guy, and then later probably a Mossad/IDF chief.
 
Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
I think there should be more of what I call "micro-alt history." Alternate history with divergences so small, contained and potentially utterly irrelevant to the plot except as set dressing that their mundanity creates pathos.
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BTW I do have a specific example of this where the micro-premise serves a serious allegorical point, but I was shy about sharing it if I ever actually used it because it is so specific.
But to give an example, Yiddish Policemen's Union had the Slattery Report passing. Micro-alt history would be even more localized and small scale in focus than that. Like... to give an ADJACENT example, the US Camelry Corps doesn't go defunct and camels become a big, established part of Western ranch life. Something like that.

For All Mankind is almost/arguably micro alt-history, since the divergences in the broader world are background flavor and the core of it is watching the Space Race continue in a way that is still basically completely inconsequential (which is kind of an interseting, though I suspect unintended, message of it the first two seasons: Apollo was sublime and it was genuinely utterly pointless.)



My niggas, I had a vision
It's a faux-academic journal called Contingency that's all about alternate history. Every volume/issue of it has a selection. (Yes, this is literally just a magazine, but the faux-academic marketing is the point even if the contents are absurd pulp bullshit.)
 
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lets set the scene....

A Senior Officer attached to the ANA who worked and bled alongside the Afghan Troops for almost two decades is forced with pulling his Troops out or staying. He has connections during the 2010s with well known self defense militia leader known as Commander Shamshir or Ghani Alipoor who has fought the Taliban since the late 90s. He goes rogue and pulls together a force of 700 or possibly 600 men with equipment , medical supplies , fuel and multiple apcs along with coaxing three entire brigades of ANA shia too fight alongside them in the Koh-i-Baba mountains. The Taliban are strung out into a long brutal guerrilla war in mountains unfriendly to the lowlands their used too in the Pashtun heartland in Kandahar. Like the Russian winters these mountains conquer all and will always be victorious over anyone who attempts to march into them except the local Hazara. a brutal war of attrition begins and the Taliban lose more and more men as states show interest in arming this rogue american T.E. Lawrence. is it possible ??
 
MaduroHunter said:
what if FDR actually became friends with hitler and they ended up being butt buddies
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Like how is this supposed to happen? FDR is an upper class new Englander and Hitler is a Viennese hobo?
Where would they meet? How would they bond?
 
DJ Grelle said:
Like how is this supposed to happen? FDR is an upper class new Englander and Hitler is a Viennese hobo?
Where would they meet? How would they bond?
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Technically he went in and out of homelessness , his hatred of the jews mainly started in Vienna due too Mental Health (Abuse from His father , his mothers death) Art School was not as big a factor as people think , he was more annoyed with unions and reading what was basically pamphlets and articles on short manuscripts sold on the street he bought with what little money he had on the jews and other topics that built his social constructs as a young man. His Devastation also was because he later gave up his Austrian Hungarian Citizen Ship to fight for the German Empire and genuinely believed in the War. like he cried when it ended and germany lost. and later stuff like young men getting stds in the weimar from prostitutes and on and on and on. I'd suggest to anyone reading that mein kempf is your best source on understanding Hitler also the best way too understand dictators is too read their books. mikeynohmore goes over this
 
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What if Hitler disturbed a pyramid and it caused Rommel's Afrikakrops (not the men, the tanks) to resurrect from the dead and a Montana big game hunter had to go hunt tanks with his anti-materiel rifle, mines and bowie knife through the Egyptian desert so he can scalp zombie Rommel?
 
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