Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

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In freshman year, at an agricultural class no less, there was this kid who hung around with my friend group during that class who would consistently flash his penis to people every day. Keep in mind I only saw this kid about an hour every other day, so you can only wonder just how much he did it. What he revealed was a thick black bush concealing what looked like a small pepper.

Among my graduating class was a kid who was a bit of a loner, but he was known for being catfished online by the same ugly girl in our grade three times in a row.

A guy in my senior year carried around a 'Foxy' plushie from FNAF like a security blanket. I've never seen him without it, reminded me of the girl who obsessed over a lamb plushie on My Strange Addiction.
 
I was in a writer’s workshop group in college. There were a lot of strange people in that group.

The guy who followed a weird blend of Thelema and Discordianism, looked almost exactly like Skrillex and peppered his stories with a bunch of esoteric references to Crowley and The Illuminatus Trilogy. He was weird but honestly pretty chill and friendly, I hung out with him a few times outside of the group

the fat neckbeard who would shit on everyone else’s stories but only wrote Diablo and Legend of Zelda fan fiction. Guy acted like he was the next Hemmingway or Faulkner and the rest of us were just troglodytes scrawling symbols into the dirt with sticks. His stories sucked as well, even by fan fiction standards.

The older man who was writing his memoirs about being a roadie for The Grateful Dead and his struggles with drug addiction, homelessness and getting sober. He was fascinating and I always looked forward to reading his next chapters.

The mousy little girl who looked and acted like a preacher’s daughter but all her stories were either Seth Rogan “dude weeeeed!” styled comedies or edgelord splatter punk horror that would make Edward Lee blush. Had an autistic hatred of Harlan Ellison but would never say what it was she disliked about him. Avoided talking to me after I had mentioned Ellison was one of my inspirations.
 
serious n00b said:
Could you do it today or tomorrow?
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Well, bad news. Looks like in those 6 to 7 years they'd changed the benches, including the one with the solar etched swastika. You can probably see the color difference between the topmost bench and the others.
 

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I don't remember why, but the kid who insisted on pronouncing it as "4chawn" was allowed to play Cavestory on the projector for everyone in a high school accounting class.

He made a middling game on steam years later, then just vanished.

There was another kid who we didn't really like who would hang out with our dork group. I guess we kept him around because he could buy us rated M games. Once he was using my friend's computer to get on MySpace, and I caught his password. I found some gross sext logs with his younger egirlfriend. We printed them out and read them aloud on the bus a few days later. We didn't get very far when he raged out and tore them away from us.
 
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BigTed said:
I don't remember why, but the kid who insisted on pronouncing it as "4chawn" was allowed to play Cavestory on the projector for everyone in a high school accounting class.

He made a middling game on steam years later, then just vanished.
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What?
 
I was curious to see if he became some successful developer, but there's no info out there. Cavestory kid becoming rich would've had a weird resolution.
 
When I was 13 in art class, some girl brought her Monster High dolls to school to lend me as reference for a gouache project. I had a huge crush on her.

When I gave them back, she made a joke along the lines of "I bet you made out with these". Connect the dots of tragic irony yourself.
 
I apologize if my story isn't as interesting as the others. But when I was in elementary school we had a gymnasium that also served as a lunch room. There was a small unprotected black button on the wall that was marked "push to call" or something like that. Some kids being kids pushed this button repeatedly as they would. Apparently this was some sort of panic button to be used in case there was a school shooter or something like that. I don't know what happened next, but I assume the teachers were just about to initiate some sort of lock down protocol or something. Anyway the asshole kids who did it started insisting that I was pressing the button too despite me arguing that I didn't. Either way for the next month or so I ended up in detention with the rest of them. We later had to make an apology statement, which I did reluctantly.

I feel like this unintentionally served as a formative moment in my life. This was the first time I was literally framed for something I didn't do, but because my peers insisted that I did it. I was still punished all the same without any evidence besides word of mouth. I suppose that moment made me disillusion with my ideas of justice and the way the world works. It didn't matter whether or not I did it, what mattered was they believed I did it. As an adult I realized that this happens in the real world more often than I would have imagined.
 
Chef Hanlon said:
I apologize if my story isn't as interesting as the others. But when I was in elementary school we had a gymnasium that also served as a lunch room. There was a small unprotected black button on the wall that was marked "push to call" or something like that. Some kids being kids pushed this button repeatedly as they would. Apparently this was some sort of panic button to be used in case there was a school shooter or something like that. I don't know what happened next, but I assume the teachers were just about to initiate some sort of lock down protocol or something. Anyway the asshole kids who did it started insisting that I was pressing the button too despite me arguing that I didn't. Either way for the next month or so I ended up in detention with the rest of them. We later had to make an apology statement, which I did reluctantly.

I feel like this unintentionally served as a formative moment in my life. This was the first time I was literally framed for something I didn't do, but because my peers insisted that I did it. I was still punished all the same without any evidence besides word of mouth. I suppose that moment made me disillusion with my ideas of justice and the way the world works. It didn't matter whether or not I did it, what mattered was they believed I did it. As an adult I realized that this happens in the real world more often than I would have imagined.
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A man's character is judged by who he associates with.
 
Chef Hanlon said:
I feel like this unintentionally served as a formative moment in my life. This was the first time I was literally framed for something I didn't do, but because my peers insisted that I did it. I was still punished all the same without any evidence besides word of mouth. I suppose that moment made me disillusion with my ideas of justice and the way the world works. It didn't matter whether or not I did it, what mattered was they believed I did it. As an adult I realized that this happens in the real world more often than I would have imagined.
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Yeah, I always hated that too. "My word against your word" is a waste of time
 
once at biology class the teacher was saying about the DNAs and then it has adenine thymine guanine
and I got up wait wait ma'am ma'am is that related to guano in any way? you know guanine?
the teacher was all like what? where? who? who said that?
it was so funny I laffffd
 
When I was fifteen, I almost set fire to my school by mistakenly heating cup noodles without any water in the cafeteria microwave and it forced like 700 kids out of the building for two hours. The microwave was old af and both the extension cord and the socket it was plugged into were apparently unstable. No one found out it was me though.
 
All right, I'll spill the beans on something that happened during my time in high school.

I went to an extremely low-tier British high school which was basically like the slums of LA or San Fransisco. It was a fairly deviant school that had run down classrooms, dirty hallways and even dirtier students. In fact it wasn't uncommon to hear kids making out and having sex or doing drugs in the bathrooms. Most of this was kept covered up by the headteacher and - more importantly for this story - teachers who thought they themselves could get away with anything.

The most actively aggressive teacher in this school was a man called Mr Abbot. I've talked about him before - he was a volatile man who was completely obsessed with jazz and soul music and if you weren't a fan of either of those things then you weren't worth his time. He'd act passive-aggressive and make childish insults towards those who liked his most hated genres which happened to be techno and metal, so I was immediately made into the runt of the class. The other runt was a boy named Kelton, who is the focus of this tale.

Kelton was essentially a 4chan shitposter. He didn't give a fuck about school, made hilariously inappropriate jokes and would wind the teachers up as often as he could. Of course when Mr Abbot figured out that he couldn't berate him into submission Kelton was deemed a lost cause like me. Now Mr Abbot had one other particular trigger that would make him see red - and that was having phones out in class. Nobody dared to look at them when he was around - except for Kelton, who would always bring his out as soon as Mr Abbot went to get worksheets or other dumb teacher stuff - and one day he finally tempted fate too much. On this particular day Mr Abbot had left the room and told us he wouldn't be back for a good fifteen minutes. Having finished our work, we decided it would be fun to do some karaoke and sent one of the kids to keep an eye out for Mr Abbot. Things really didn't get interesting until Kelton's friend stepped up to sing a song.

Kelton's friend, to put it bluntly, couldn't sing a note. He was tone deaf - but his performance was so entertaining we didn't have the heart to stop him. Kelton whipped out his phone and started recording it so we could archive it for prosperity. The problem was that his friend's performance was so funny that the kid who was keeping watch didn't notice Mr Abbot coming back - and the first thing the teacher saw as he walked through the doors was Kelton with his phone out. Kelton didn't notice what was wrong until everybody went silent. He turned around and was ordered to step out into the corridor - Mr Abbot slamming the doors as hard as he could behind them. The silence that followed was the most tense silence I have ever experienced in my life. It was shattered mere seconds afterwards by the sounds of Mr Abbot having what I can only describe as a tard meltdown. He was so loud and angry that none of us could figure out what he was screaming at Kelton - all we knew was that Kelton had fucked up and was now being punished for it.

But when Kelton was brought back into the classroom something was very off: Kelton was smugly smiling. It wasn't until after class was over that we found out why.

Kelton hadn't stopped recording.

And he had just caught Mr Abbot's meltdown on camera.

If any of you have ever watched the video "Chris, the Bland Man and the Autistic Kid" then you know what happened next. The video spread like wildfire - even making it onto Youtube for a short period of time before someone squealed and the school managed to get the video removed. It is a bittersweet ending, however. Remember the headmaster I mentioned at the beginning of the story? There was a reason he didn't do anything to deal with the school. He had actually been sent in to document as much evidence as possible to prove the school was covering everything up.

And Kelton's video was pretty much the holy grail of proof the headmaster needed.

Sadly I had left by the time the school improved. But it doesn't matter - at least nobody has to deal with Mr Abbot anymore.

I do have a couple of other stories that happened during my time at school of any of you'd like to read them.
 
I've got a few stories from my school days that I need to type up, but for now, have this short and dumb one.
>be 6th grade me
>in ELA (read:english) class
>have to use to restroom
>not looking forward to using bathrooms as they were usually disgusting
>something about school bathrooms always turned students into shit-flinging apes
>nevertheless, the call of nature can't be let go in voicemail
>get permission and head for nearest restroom in hopes it'll actually be usable
>it actually is
>thank you, God
>do business
>go to wash hands
>gear door opening and frantic footsteps while rinsing hands
>stall door slams behind me
>whatdidthisguyeat.png
>shrug, then dry hands
>hear a scream on my way out
>and then
>stand there for a few seconds, not sure how to react to hearing a man's soul leave his body through his rectum
>decide that high-tailing it back to class was probably the smartest move
>promptly do so
Supposedly the poor kid either had sugar-free gummy bears or was lactose intolerant and ate cheese.
 
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