Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

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Middle school in southern Italy is an absolute disaster. Here are some highlights of my time there:
-Class autist freaks out over an ant that climbed his pencil, requiring the professor to interrupt the lesson and deal with the "problem"
-Wall in front of the school gets spray painted with "[Our history teacher's name] is shit!"
-Our classroom had the walls lined with those hook-like coathangers that are attached in rows to wooden planks. On the third year, some guy rips one row from the wall and carries it nonchalantly around the classroom
-Italian teacher was a stupid bitch who liked picking on me. She also ditched entire lessons in favour of "teaching" her favorite conspiracy theories (9/11, moon landing etc. etc.). On her third year she got particularly obsessed about how a certain pre-unitary Italian kingdom in my area was the 1860's wakanda (while not even having abolished feudalism) and Italian unification was the result of a conspiracy to destroy it.
-Someone asking if Jesus Christ exploding caused the Big Bang, during physics class
-Our French teacher slapped someone in another class

Other noteworthy events happened during a school trip in the third and final year:
-We stayed in a shitty hotel and within 2 days most beds were broken by people jumping on them
-Carabinieri (special police) came over, though I never understood why (probs weed)
-A choir of blasphemies echoed in the hallways when someone broke "mini guitars" (idk what they're supposed to be) that their roommate had bought for his dad that day.
-In the same room where this happened, another roommate woke up one night and asked Mr. Guitar breaker (henceforth referred to as "greenhead" l, more on that later), who seemed awake, to go get some water. Greenhead opened the mini-fridge where the water was, looked into it without doing nothing for some minutes, then closed it and went to sleep.

The guy was named "Greenhead" because he had dyed his hair a shitty mint-green that overtime faded to a color that looked like an old sloth's fur.
He was the secondary class lolcow (the primary one being the ant freakout guy). His claims to fame include loudly throwing blasphenies for no reason, getting into a slapfight that ended with him getting told that "he had mammoths up his ass", and being hung (no, not in that way) from a coathanger with his own shirt's hood.
 
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Crex Crex said:
On her third year she got particularly obsessed about how a certain pre-unitary Italian kingdom in my area was the 1860's wakanda (while not even having abolished feudalism) and Italian unification was the result of a conspiracy to destroy it.
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Italian unification was pretty crappy but, on the other hand, I've never seen someone go full-on kangs 'n shieeet for the Two Sicilies before.
 
Marshal Mannerheim said:
Italian unification was pretty crappy but, on the other hand, I've never seen someone go full-on kangs 'n shieeet for the Two Sicilies before.
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Oh trust me, for a decade people over here are simping for the two Sicilies, spouting shit about how it literally was the 3rd European power (yes, they say that seriously). This weird phenomenon was started when the former director of a Sun-like tabloid published a book full of exaggerations, cherry picking, deliberate omissions or outright lies (according to him a normal POW camp for former Bourbon soldiers was actually an Auschwitz-like concentration camp for neapolitans). And people over here in Southern Italy wonder why the rest of the country thinks we're gullible idiots.
 
Coelacanth said:
All right, I'll spill the beans on something that happened during my time in high school.

I went to an extremely low-tier British high school which was basically like the slums of LA or San Fransisco. It was a fairly deviant school that had run down classrooms, dirty hallways and even dirtier students. In fact it wasn't uncommon to hear kids making out and having sex or doing drugs in the bathrooms. Most of this was kept covered up by the headteacher and - more importantly for this story - teachers who thought they themselves could get away with anything.

The most actively aggressive teacher in this school was a man called Mr Abbot. I've talked about him before - he was a volatile man who was completely obsessed with jazz and soul music and if you weren't a fan of either of those things then you weren't worth his time. He'd act passive-aggressive and make childish insults towards those who liked his most hated genres which happened to be techno and metal, so I was immediately made into the runt of the class. The other runt was a boy named Kelton, who is the focus of this tale.

Kelton was essentially a 4chan shitposter. He didn't give a fuck about school, made hilariously inappropriate jokes and would wind the teachers up as often as he could. Of course when Mr Abbot figured out that he couldn't berate him into submission Kelton was deemed a lost cause like me. Now Mr Abbot had one other particular trigger that would make him see red - and that was having phones out in class. Nobody dared to look at them when he was around - except for Kelton, who would always bring his out as soon as Mr Abbot went to get worksheets or other dumb teacher stuff - and one day he finally tempted fate too much. On this particular day Mr Abbot had left the room and told us he wouldn't be back for a good fifteen minutes. Having finished our work, we decided it would be fun to do some karaoke and sent one of the kids to keep an eye out for Mr Abbot. Things really didn't get interesting until Kelton's friend stepped up to sing a song.

Kelton's friend, to put it bluntly, couldn't sing a note. He was tone deaf - but his performance was so entertaining we didn't have the heart to stop him. Kelton whipped out his phone and started recording it so we could archive it for prosperity. The problem was that his friend's performance was so funny that the kid who was keeping watch didn't notice Mr Abbot coming back - and the first thing the teacher saw as he walked through the doors was Kelton with his phone out. Kelton didn't notice what was wrong until everybody went silent. He turned around and was ordered to step out into the corridor - Mr Abbot slamming the doors as hard as he could behind them. The silence that followed was the most tense silence I have ever experienced in my life. It was shattered mere seconds afterwards by the sounds of Mr Abbot having what I can only describe as a tard meltdown. He was so loud and angry that none of us could figure out what he was screaming at Kelton - all we knew was that Kelton had fucked up and was now being punished for it.

But when Kelton was brought back into the classroom something was very off: Kelton was smugly smiling. It wasn't until after class was over that we found out why.

Kelton hadn't stopped recording.

And he had just caught Mr Abbot's meltdown on camera.

If any of you have ever watched the video "Chris, the Bland Man and the Autistic Kid" then you know what happened next. The video spread like wildfire - even making it onto Youtube for a short period of time before someone squealed and the school managed to get the video removed. It is a bittersweet ending, however. Remember the headmaster I mentioned at the beginning of the story? There was a reason he didn't do anything to deal with the school. He had actually been sent in to document as much evidence as possible to prove the school was covering everything up.

And Kelton's video was pretty much the holy grail of proof the headmaster needed.

Sadly I had left by the time the school improved. But it doesn't matter - at least nobody has to deal with Mr Abbot anymore.

I do have a couple of other stories that happened during my time at school of any of you'd like to read them.
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Do you still have the video? Could you share it here?
 
Cavalier Cipolla said:
Do you still have the video? Could you share it here?
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Oh christ I would if I could. It was on my moto pebl cellphone and sadly that was completely fried years ago. I'd see if I could find it on youtube as well but the one thing the school was very proactive about was scrubbing as much evidence out of sight as possible (everyone knew something was up with the school but when it came to presenting evidence the school made sure none could be found, so a scout had to be sent in so he could document as much as possible before it was swept under the rug).
 
Crex Crex said:
"he had mammoths up his ass"
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This sounds like it lost something in the translation.

"Avevai dei mammut nel tuo culo."

Nope, doesn't make any more sense there either. I'm guessing a byproduct of il autismo. Unless there's some Italian mammoth-related idiom I'm unaware of.

Speaking of Italy, we were on a school trip c. 2002 and found ourselves in Sorrento, staying on bunk beds shoved into hotel rooms. All boys. Four to a room. About 2.00 am I was woken up by the unmistakable sounds of Paul and Amit showing each other how they wanked, with running commentary. I was chewing the inside of my cheek trying not to laugh. I think I drew blood in so doing.

Paul in particular was a turbo homophobe. As in, he had positively Islamic views on gay people.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.
 
Ginger Piglet said:
This sounds like it lost something in the translation.

"Avevai dei mammut nel tuo culo."

Nope, doesn't make any more sense there either. I'm guessing a byproduct of il autismo. Unless there's some Italian mammoth-related idiom I'm unaware of.

Speaking of Italy, we were on a school trip c. 2002 and found ourselves in Sorrento, staying on bunk beds shoved into hotel rooms. All boys. Four to a room. About 2.00 am I was woken up by the unmistakable sounds of Paul and Amit showing each other how they wanked, with running commentary. I was chewing the inside of my cheek trying not to laugh. I think I drew blood in so doing.

Paul in particular was a turbo homophobe. As in, he had positively Islamic views on gay people.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Click to expand...
It actually was "Ma tu i mammut li hai nel culo"="But you have mammoths up your ass". It was because Greenhead had called the guy who said this a mammoth. Funnily enough, this guy also said "and if you talk more about me, the cooker you have in your ass will light up and the mammoths will catch fire". Greenhead previously said "I don't play with fire, I grab it by the ass!". "Grabbing something by the ass" here means not taking something seriously but the way he said it made it sound like he said "I take fire up my ass". This was what started the argument and is the reason for the "the mammoths will catch fire" remark.
 
In my Advanced Hematology class (white cells and white cell disorders), one tard thought that the professors said a blast is a blast is a blast (immature blood cells). They totally thought in that train of logic that a motherfucking myeloblast (immature WBC ) is the exact same thing as a basophilic normoblast (immature, nucleated RBC). We learned about the latter in the last class.

All nucleated RBC names end in blast.

What the professor meant was that in a peripheral blood smear differential, a myeloblast, lymphoblast, and monoblast are all the same thing when it comes to the reporting of test results.

Some of my classmates have never been worked in a lab since Obama's first term.
 
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Oh do I have a story for you. Allow me to tell you the Saga of B: the Art Tard. B was a pudgy Asian girl with a fierce amount of autism, which, from the view of an outsider, she seemed to be a normal kid. At least, until her mannerisms surfaced, culminating in schizo-babble to herself at varying voice levels, looping around the class flapping her arms (and, watching what other kids were doing right over their shoulders), being a wannabe teacher's pet, and, greatest of all; having her extraordinary meltdowns. And boy, did she have them frequently. Now, let me tell you the things that set her off.
  1. Weird noises. She absolutely hated when people would be autists (and therefore, was kept in the normal kids classes, but even then she still freaked out) and would often shriek at them like a banshee to "shut up!"
  2. Singing. Girls always loved to hum and sing throughout my school years, and she always got pissy at them.
  3. Talking. No matter what, she just hates people talking. She would act like a class police officer, disciplining kids who she thought was 'breaking the rules'.
TL:DR: She's basically a female version of PL, without the waifufagging. I never could clock her intelligence but I'd wager she was about as smart as PL too.

I was granted the misfortune of having B throughout my entire school year, but I was granted some mercy by having her only in a select few classes. Kids often bullied her because, well, she was an easy target and children are assholes. This made B very vigilant in how people treated her and spoke, and honestly worsened her autism. The first story I'll tell is when I was a wee lass, somewhere around 10 or 11, in an introductory science class. My teacher was a flamboyant homosexual who had an excellent humor and honestly knew his stuff, so many of the students- including myself- joked with him. I was a bit of a class clown. Fast forward to a day we were in groups for some sort of assignment; students were given roles and those roles would dictate which part of the assignment they would do. In theory, everyone would complete the assignment with work done under their belt.
Well well well. I was set into a group with two normal students, who were quite friendly and did their part, and the final piece of the autistic puzzle was B herself. Since she was a bit of an asshole, she didn't want to do the assignment so I had to do her part. As the teacher was telling instructions, I believe I told some sort of joke that B did not like. As autism typically does, she had absolutely no sarcasm detector and assumed everything to be serious. With her sitting just beside me, she turned and started screaming at me for the joke I made, and I apologized profusely but it was not enough. She kept going and eventually started hitting me, which then the teacher had to call up her tard wrangler. I was a bit of a loose cannon back then and had lots of anger issues and undiagnosed autism, so I genuinely felt I was about to square up with this harmless yet obnoxious kid. But the wrangler saved me, and she was hauled out of class screaming and complaining. In her eyes, I was the troublemaker, and she was in the right. I never felt so relieved.​
​
She never truly gave up the mindset of "I'm right everyone else is wrong!!" even in highschool.​
​
​
For quite some time, I didn't have B in class again. But I often saw her in the halls, and heard her being hauled away from her classes by her wrangler for having another meltdown. Speaking of meltdowns, they were quite eccentric. I was in a class just adjacent to hers and I could often hear her sperging out through the concrete walls. Another student in the same grade as I made it a personal goal to set her off, and I'll call him T. T was one of those kids who you could tell just from mannerisms that he would probably grow up to be a serial killer. He found joy in making other students upset and instigating violence, which stuck with him throughout his school year. He would set up a conversation with B, only to play into her autism card and do some real mean shit to upset her. More often than not, he was sent out for being a dick, but he grew clever and began playing the teacher's pet.
It was lunchtime. We were sitting in a large, square-shaped room with three long rows of tables horizontal to one another. I often sat away from other students so I could watch dramas unfold, and so many did. The tards sat at their own round tables with their wranglers, so that no kids would have to interact with them. Well, it doesn't really prevent people from being loud assholes. T brought a small speaker one day, and hid it in his hoodie pocket. In the middle of lunch, an eruption of noise which I think was just loud ass rap, came from the middle of the room. I don't remember anyone else being pissed off by it other than the teachers (who for the life of them, couldn't find the source), and B. B HATED MUSIC. She got out of her seat and started screaming, even though it was drowned out by rap. This made her more angry, and she stomped over to where she heard it from and just began shrieking at random, terrified kids who were just trying to eat their lunch. She needed double wranglers that day to pull her away from the room.​
Eventually, T turned off his speaker, but we were all interrogated for fucking 30 minutes until T got hauled off for being the disruption. At least it was pretty funny.​
​
​
Allow me to skip to when I had her in art class in highschool. We were all a bit older now, like 14-15. This was an introductory course and the teacher was a chill ass dude, who I'll call Mr. S. Mr. S was your typical hippie dude who would literally play OSRS in between his classes and was generally a pretty nice guy who helped out the students find creativity in their projects. He was a sad guy who got divorced and was extremely depressed during this class but still did his best to be a good teacher. Now, I sat in the corner because I was an edgy ass kid who couldn't focus with much noise and I didn't like talking. Mr. S was in the opposite corner, and there were a few senior students in there who sat near him and vibed and talked about rap and shit. I had the wonderful luck of having both B and T in here. T sat in the back part of the room and B decided to sit right fucking next to me.
This is sort of a double story involving both B and T. Let's start with the wonderful lady herself! While I was sitting next to her that year, I learned quite a lot about her. One thing I learned that she fucking LOVED to draw humanized versions of computer programs and apps. It wasn't in any like cutesy anime girls, it was somewhat poorly drawn and they looked a bit like mii characters if a 10 year old drew them. I found it absolutely fascinating and attempted to befriend her, humoring her interests and complimenting her works (because honestly I felt like she needed it. She was always alone and to herself and I found myself pitying her) I eventually learned that she had a sister (who looked a lot like her but was way cooler and friendlier but as equally artsy. She really fucking liked FNAF so maybe she also had an autistic streak in her) and that her mother was actually in the Marines, so her grandmother was taking care of her. I never really could talk to her about her family since it felt rather invasive, but I sort of began to assume that her mother was actually just, gone. Dead or abandoned her, I'll never know.​
Now for the fun parts. B hated most of the kids in the class. She would get up and pace around the class and watch other kids and police them, especially when they had their phones out. There was a gaggle of girls behind us that would often do teenager shit and cackle with each other and B despised them, and grew a very blatant hatred of them, singling them out in class just to harass them about autistic shit. There were a few tantrums, but it was hardly anything super spicy. One day, B lashed out at me. I believe she felt that I was trying to bully her or something, even when it was never my intentions. I felt saddened that I fucked up a possible friendship with this enigmatic person but I couldn't take being screamed at anymore, so I began sitting with S and his crew of black students who were extremely chill and cool.​
​
It was the last day of school. B was doing her usual schizo shit. T was actually suspended but I'll get to that in a moment. The hoodrats by Mr. S were having a jolly time and so was I! I finally got my ass out of my edgy stage and started joking with them. I would hardly say I was friends with anyone but I at least had some fun with Mr. S and we talked about art shit. Since it was the last day of school, the crew of hoodrats were playing rap and other music. B did not fucking like that. She turned around and ree'd at them to turn their shit off, but that made them turn up their music even louder. Semper fi, black teens, because that made her explode. She got out of her chair and started stomping towards them, which made one of the lanky black teens get up and run to the other side of class with the speaker in hand, pursued by the slowmoving fat Asian girl who was screaming at them. Eventually, he ran out of the class, laughing his ass off. Mr. S got up and tried to get B to calm the fuck down, threatening to call her wrangler, so she very angrily went back to her seat, still screaming at him and the hoodrats. Like the baller he was, he called the wrangler anyway and her ass was sent out of class, much to literally everyone's relief. We went back to fucking around instantly.​
​
​
Now to get back to T. The reason why he had been suspended was because he got into an argument with the black students and called them a nigger. Hard -er and everything. Even though this school was in the south, this was basically unheard of since, if you said that shit there, you'd get your ass beat. Nobody but the black kids could say nigger and that was it. T got lucky because the person in question was raised right. The lanky fella I talked about earlier got fucking MAD. He got his ass out of this comfy ass sofa the teacher had in the class, pulled up his sagging jeans, and went to T, fuming and pissed off. T tried to argue but he got shouted down and outright, verbally ass-beat. At one point, the black kid stormed out of class and Mr. S interrogated the piss out of T and sent him to the office. It was an amazing viewing experience.
​
I got a few more anecdotes but I feel like this has gone on for waaay too long of a post. I hope it was funny though. I'll never forget B and her autistic rampages but I can only hope she turns out to be a better person in the future.
 
spider egg salad said:
Oh do I have a story for you. Allow me to tell you the Saga of B: the Art Tard. B was a pudgy Asian girl with a fierce amount of autism, which, from the view of an outsider, she seemed to be a normal kid. At least, until her mannerisms surfaced, culminating in schizo-babble to herself at varying voice levels, looping around the class flapping her arms (and, watching what other kids were doing right over their shoulders), being a wannabe teacher's pet, and, greatest of all; having her extraordinary meltdowns. And boy, did she have them frequently. Now, let me tell you the things that set her off.
  1. Weird noises. She absolutely hated when people would be autists (and therefore, was kept in the normal kids classes, but even then she still freaked out) and would often shriek at them like a banshee to "shut up!"
  2. Singing. Girls always loved to hum and sing throughout my school years, and she always got pissy at them.
  3. Talking. No matter what, she just hates people talking. She would act like a class police officer, disciplining kids who she thought was 'breaking the rules'.
TL:biggrin:R: She's basically a female version of PL, without the waifufagging. I never could clock her intelligence but I'd wager she was about as smart as PL too.

I was granted the misfortune of having B throughout my entire school year, but I was granted some mercy by having her only in a select few classes. Kids often bullied her because, well, she was an easy target and children are assholes. This made B very vigilant in how people treated her and spoke, and honestly worsened her autism. The first story I'll tell is when I was a wee lass, somewhere around 10 or 11, in an introductory science class. My teacher was a flamboyant homosexual who had an excellent humor and honestly knew his stuff, so many of the students- including myself- joked with him. I was a bit of a class clown. Fast forward to a day we were in groups for some sort of assignment; students were given roles and those roles would dictate which part of the assignment they would do. In theory, everyone would complete the assignment with work done under their belt.
Well well well. I was set into a group with two normal students, who were quite friendly and did their part, and the final piece of the autistic puzzle was B herself. Since she was a bit of an asshole, she didn't want to do the assignment so I had to do her part. As the teacher was telling instructions, I believe I told some sort of joke that B did not like. As autism typically does, she had absolutely no sarcasm detector and assumed everything to be serious. With her sitting just beside me, she turned and started screaming at me for the joke I made, and I apologized profusely but it was not enough. She kept going and eventually started hitting me, which then the teacher had to call up her tard wrangler. I was a bit of a loose cannon back then and had lots of anger issues and undiagnosed autism, so I genuinely felt I was about to square up with this harmless yet obnoxious kid. But the wrangler saved me, and she was hauled out of class screaming and complaining. In her eyes, I was the troublemaker, and she was in the right. I never felt so relieved.​
​
She never truly gave up the mindset of "I'm right everyone else is wrong!!" even in highschool.​
​
​
For quite some time, I didn't have B in class again. But I often saw her in the halls, and heard her being hauled away from her classes by her wrangler for having another meltdown. Speaking of meltdowns, they were quite eccentric. I was in a class just adjacent to hers and I could often hear her sperging out through the concrete walls. Another student in the same grade as I made it a personal goal to set her off, and I'll call him T. T was one of those kids who you could tell just from mannerisms that he would probably grow up to be a serial killer. He found joy in making other students upset and instigating violence, which stuck with him throughout his school year. He would set up a conversation with B, only to play into her autism card and do some real mean shit to upset her. More often than not, he was sent out for being a dick, but he grew clever and began playing the teacher's pet.
It was lunchtime. We were sitting in a large, square-shaped room with three long rows of tables horizontal to one another. I often sat away from other students so I could watch dramas unfold, and so many did. The tards sat at their own round tables with their wranglers, so that no kids would have to interact with them. Well, it doesn't really prevent people from being loud assholes. T brought a small speaker one day, and hid it in his hoodie pocket. In the middle of lunch, an eruption of noise which I think was just loud ass rap, came from the middle of the room. I don't remember anyone else being pissed off by it other than the teachers (who for the life of them, couldn't find the source), and B. B HATED MUSIC. She got out of her seat and started screaming, even though it was drowned out by rap. This made her more angry, and she stomped over to where she heard it from and just began shrieking at random, terrified kids who were just trying to eat their lunch. She needed double wranglers that day to pull her away from the room.​
Eventually, T turned off his speaker, but we were all interrogated for fucking 30 minutes until T got hauled off for being the disruption. At least it was pretty funny.​
​
​
Allow me to skip to when I had her in art class in highschool. We were all a bit older now, like 14-15. This was an introductory course and the teacher was a chill ass dude, who I'll call Mr. S. Mr. S was your typical hippie dude who would literally play OSRS in between his classes and was generally a pretty nice guy who helped out the students find creativity in their projects. He was a sad guy who got divorced and was extremely depressed during this class but still did his best to be a good teacher. Now, I sat in the corner because I was an edgy ass kid who couldn't focus with much noise and I didn't like talking. Mr. S was in the opposite corner, and there were a few senior students in there who sat near him and vibed and talked about rap and shit. I had the wonderful luck of having both B and T in here. T sat in the back part of the room and B decided to sit right fucking next to me.
This is sort of a double story involving both B and T. Let's start with the wonderful lady herself! While I was sitting next to her that year, I learned quite a lot about her. One thing I learned that she fucking LOVED to draw humanized versions of computer programs and apps. It wasn't in any like cutesy anime girls, it was somewhat poorly drawn and they looked a bit like mii characters if a 10 year old drew them. I found it absolutely fascinating and attempted to befriend her, humoring her interests and complimenting her works (because honestly I felt like she needed it. She was always alone and to herself and I found myself pitying her) I eventually learned that she had a sister (who looked a lot like her but was way cooler and friendlier but as equally artsy. She really fucking liked FNAF so maybe she also had an autistic streak in her) and that her mother was actually in the Marines, so her grandmother was taking care of her. I never really could talk to her about her family since it felt rather invasive, but I sort of began to assume that her mother was actually just, gone. Dead or abandoned her, I'll never know.​
Now for the fun parts. B hated most of the kids in the class. She would get up and pace around the class and watch other kids and police them, especially when they had their phones out. There was a gaggle of girls behind us that would often do teenager shit and cackle with each other and B despised them, and grew a very blatant hatred of them, singling them out in class just to harass them about autistic shit. There were a few tantrums, but it was hardly anything super spicy. One day, B lashed out at me. I believe she felt that I was trying to bully her or something, even when it was never my intentions. I felt saddened that I fucked up a possible friendship with this enigmatic person but I couldn't take being screamed at anymore, so I began sitting with S and his crew of black students who were extremely chill and cool.​
​
It was the last day of school. B was doing her usual schizo shit. T was actually suspended but I'll get to that in a moment. The hoodrats by Mr. S were having a jolly time and so was I! I finally got my ass out of my edgy stage and started joking with them. I would hardly say I was friends with anyone but I at least had some fun with Mr. S and we talked about art shit. Since it was the last day of school, the crew of hoodrats were playing rap and other music. B did not fucking like that. She turned around and ree'd at them to turn their shit off, but that made them turn up their music even louder. Semper fi, black teens, because that made her explode. She got out of her chair and started stomping towards them, which made one of the lanky black teens get up and run to the other side of class with the speaker in hand, pursued by the slowmoving fat Asian girl who was screaming at them. Eventually, he ran out of the class, laughing his ass off. Mr. S got up and tried to get B to calm the fuck down, threatening to call her wrangler, so she very angrily went back to her seat, still screaming at him and the hoodrats. Like the baller he was, he called the wrangler anyway and her ass was sent out of class, much to literally everyone's relief. We went back to fucking around instantly.​
​
​
Now to get back to T. The reason why he had been suspended was because he got into an argument with the black students and called them a nigger. Hard -er and everything. Even though this school was in the south, this was basically unheard of since, if you said that shit there, you'd get your ass beat. Nobody but the black kids could say nigger and that was it. T got lucky because the person in question was raised right. The lanky fella I talked about earlier got fucking MAD. He got his ass out of this comfy ass sofa the teacher had in the class, pulled up his sagging jeans, and went to T, fuming and pissed off. T tried to argue but he got shouted down and outright, verbally ass-beat. At one point, the black kid stormed out of class and Mr. S interrogated the piss out of T and sent him to the office. It was an amazing viewing experience.
​
I got a few more anecdotes but I feel like this has gone on for waaay too long of a post. I hope it was funny though. I'll never forget B and her autistic rampages but I can only hope she turns out to be a better person in the future.
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I'm saving this entire post
 
Not nearly as impressive as the last couple but mine comes from college. A class mate and I were carrying a big HP rack server from a storage room to the IT lab. While moving it, the fucker with me drops his end and it hits the ground. Like 4 people see him drop it and when the thing doesn't post and just gives a beep code the instructor starts hinting to the guy that he'll have to replace the server if its broken.

The next hour was drama between the guy that dropped it and the instructor, so with no class happening because two French guys are too busy doing their best Ethan Ralph V Dispatch impressions a friend and I start troubleshooting the beep code while the guy that dropped the server makes a big scene and walks out of class. His parents contact the school later in the day, saying they'll sue if they have to pay for the broken server, looking like total retards because, turns out it was a like $15 fan cluster that shit the bed. I was able to grab a replacement at an electronics store on my lunch break. The instructor comes back after lunch, when we get the fans in amazed the server works. So while the guy that dropped the server's parents are in the lobby screaming, my friend, the instructor and I are all snickering to ourselves that there are two grown adults screaming at a secretary for literally no reason at this point. That was about the most interesting thing that happened to me in college.
 
I guess I remembered few more I could share. Originally I posted this one in the "dumb things you did as a kid" thread so I guess it could fit here too.
Chef Hanlon said:
So there was this kid in my school (who was possibly autistic) who really liked Sonic, like I'm talking Sonic merchandise, sleeping with a stuffed Sonic doll, Sonic themed birthday party and the whole nines. He was also a Christian. So I just causally asked him one day if he thought Sonic was gay for Tails. He got seriously livid at that thought. Other kids caught on to this as well to the point where (this kid in question was kinda strong) he picked up a chair and was winding up to throw it at this other kid. Needless to say he got taken out after that. To this day I still sometimes think back to that moment.

What would that kid say if he saw half the shit on Deviantart?

I know what you're thinking and no this is not Chris.
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One of the more dangerous things I think we did in middle school was having a competition where we grabbed a brick and spun around in a circle with it like a shot put and tried to see how far we could launch it. Looking back on it, I see why the teachers put an end to it fairly quick because someone could have very easily been seriously maimed or possibly dead.

Speaking of dumb things that could have lead to serious injury or death. One of us discovered that choke hold where you put your elbow around someone neck and use your bicep and forearm to apply pressure to the jugular veins. That caused some sort of asphyxiation euphoria. Anyway while it was happening to me apparently I lost consciousness for some unspecified time. I don't even know what happened during that time. All I remember when coming to was some kids telling the teacher they thought they accidentally killed me.

There was a kid in the first or second grade who took a shit in the puppet theater. To this day I have no idea why he did it. He wasn't a sped or anything like that, I guess he needed to go for some reason and didn't tell anyone. The teacher was noticeably feeling a mix of disgust and anger, like "what the fuck is wrong with this kid". We didn't really talk to him much after that.

In high school had some brief interesting moments, the short of it was there were some girls were apparently blowing some guys under the stairwell. And some guys tried doing that "ghost ride the whip" thing where you put the car in drive and 4 or 5 of them get on the hood. Well they later bumped into the curb rolled off. Which lead to an announcement explaining the dangers of "stunt driving".
 
Smaug's Smokey Hole said:
Having a set of master keys we explored everything, including tons of lockers, cabinets, teachers lounges, offices, weird shit in the cellar, bomb shelter etc. That part wasn't so bad.
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That actually sounds cool. My high school, after various renovations, appeared to have some sort of secret cellar or passageway under the breezeway that connected the original building to the addition that held the gym, kitchen, and cafeteria. I always wondered what was under there, especially on the one occasion where the doorway to this unknown passage was open, but I was afraid I'd be suspended or locked in if I decided to go exploring. It sounds like you got to explore those parts of your building and enjoy it in the process.
 
My brother and I attempted to create the most disgusting thing possible in our final Food Tech lesson by blending all the strange ingredients we could find in our kitchen. During the lesson he went around and added everyone else's spare ingredients that he could get. The end result was a thick green liquid with unidentifiable bits in it. On the way home that day, one of his friends tried it and was away from school the next day because of food poisoning.
 
Kiwi Lime Pie said:
That actually sounds cool. My high school, after various renovations, appeared to have some sort of secret cellar or passageway under the breezeway that connected the original building to the addition that held the gym, kitchen, and cafeteria. I always wondered what was under there, especially on the one occasion where the doorway to this unknown passage was open, but I was afraid I'd be suspended or locked in if I decided to go exploring. It sounds like you got to explore those parts of your building and enjoy it in the process.
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Yeah we explored everything. Never found out what the pipe-bolognese was, and in addition to that we never learned how to play backgammon, there was a really shitty tiny page with the rules of the game and we used to sit on the stairs and try to figure out who was winning or losing.
 
I went to a high school that was nothing short of a human testing facility to see how far the human body could be pushed. We drove three teachers to breakdowns.


We nearly killed a kid by daring him to eat chili peppers, as many as he could in a minute, without realising he was allergic and we all just watched in horror as his face started swelling.

One team’s sports day mascot was a 3ft model sperm they stole from the science department’s biology display.

Someone set a toilet on fire.

A different someone wrote on the girls’ bathroom walls in what we could only assume was period blood.

We had at least 3 stabbings.
 
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