Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

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In an art class we were told to make a piece about a book or short story. I did A Sound of Thunder, my then girlfriend did; I shit you not, The Turner Diaries. I had joked about it but the crazy bitch did it. I miss her.
 
Not sure if this counts but here's my story. I decided to not ignore being harassed in class by some two assholes IIRC in 8th grade elementary (1 year before high school in my country). I was in the end given a punishment by that bitch that was our German teacher. That hoe ended up giving ME a note (it was like some sort of strike), not them. And I didn't get to go to some astronomy workshop or whatever, because of that. The school chose my cousin, who didn't even know or care about astronomy. When the class ended I was facing an angry mob that my classmates were and I yeeted the half eaten apple at the bathroom wall, after which it disintegrated, which I found oddly satisfying. Oh, it gets better! That hoe is a real snowflake, as when we were given a task to write some sentences in German, I wrote that my class is a bunch of communists, because nobody allowed me to express my side of the story and I wrote it as a form of protest. I was sent to the school psychologist because of it. Italian minority schools in my area do have some really crap teachers at times.
 
There was a really weird hippie dude that taught english at my school and would often be very visible high on lolweed, he cried after some edgy kid put ketchup on his seat and just so happened he was wearing white pants that day, there was an uproar when he got up and had his white pants covered in it. I assume he was high that day, having a room full of kids screaming at you is a bad moment to be tripping, dude was super upset and left the school shortly after.

English class in my highschool was weird, almost every asignature was given by veteran teachers who were in the school for many years, but every year they had to get someone new for english, they were all garbage every time, some years there were two or more , that asignature was cursed. Another english teacher made out with a underaged student on a graduation party. she was in her mid 20s and got fired for it
 
I have another one. I etched a swastika on a wooden bench in the school playground with a magnifying glass and solar power. It was also in 8th grade IIRC. I think some fucking asshole snitched on me a few days later, as the PE teacher went to confront me about it. I got off pretty lucky, considering Italian minority schools in my area have a reputation for sucking communist dick, while at the same time praising Gabriele D'Annunzio as a real based chad. I still don't know who snitched. Tomorrow I'm gonna check if the swastika is still there!😂
Good thing it's a 10 minute walk to my elementary school.

Marshal Mannerheim said:
'Sup, my navigator?
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They could have gone the Filthy Frank route and used "Kokujin"
 
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Crankenstein said:
In an art class we were told to make a piece about a book or short story. I did A Sound of Thunder, my then girlfriend did; I shit you not, The Turner Diaries. I had joked about it but the crazy bitch did it. I miss her.
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I could be wrong but wasn't the Turner Diaries really badly written as well as being a flaming white supremacist dumpster fire?
 
Samir said:
During my freshman year of high school, I had a biology teacher that previously had some medical job at a nearby airbase. He told an hour-long story about how he had to pull a pickle, a ketchup bottle, and a ping-pong ball out of an airman's rectum when we were supposed to be going over proteins.
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We didn't have any teacher with stories on that level. Nevertheless, the question I immediately asked myself was about how the hell did all of this end up in his rectum in the first place?
 
I don't remember the year or grade, but I was about 10, and a female teacher c. 40 took a real fancy to a boy whom she would have on her lap sometimes stroking him like a pet animal. Needless to say, even in those distant days, this teacher had to go, but for me she just somehow wasn't there anymore. I had quite a succession of weird teachers, one who reputedly threw chairs at pupils, but all I noticed was he disliked teaching, and preferred we play basketball, another was some ginger woman aid worker weirdo.
 
Cavalier Cipolla said:
We didn't have any teacher with stories on that level. Nevertheless, the question I immediately asked myself was about how the hell did all of this end up in his rectum in the first place?
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I believe every time this ever happens to anyone, they claim they fell in the shower and these objects just accidentally got rammed up their asses.
 
My high schools animal science program was nearly bankrupted by a foolish investment in unmanned aerial vehicles which were crashed by students
 
The recent snowstorms that ravaged most of the country reminded me of how much I don't miss living up in South Dakota in the winter. Snowfall usually wasn't the main problem, it was the potent winds whipping up blizzards (and dangerous wind chills) that was the absolute most dangerous. It wasn't at all uncommon for visibility to drop down to inches (if that), which is why we frequently had snow days during the long winter. People who don't live with frequent blizzards don't seem to understand how incredibly dangerous they are and will say we were pussies when it came to snow. It is however incredibly dangerous conditions, and since the district wanted to avoid the controversy of a busload of kids dying to/from school, we'd accumulate probably around two weeks worth of snow days every year.

Fifth grade year, my final school year in South Dakota before leaving for Arizona, had the rather unusual problem in that the district officials couldn't time the cancellations right. So school would be cancelled on a nice balmy day (by winter standards), and then the next day we'd have to go to school in a raging blizzard. One notable day the day started out okay, but as it went on conditions deteriorated and around 1:15 the decision was made to end school right now and get us home before it got too dangerous.

After we'd gathered our shit we were taken to the cafeteria (where my class somehow managed to get first) to wait until our buses arrived. Almost immediately the buses for the off-base kids came, so they all left, leaving behind most of the school. Our teacher reassured us the rest of the buses would be coming soon, but as the minutes dragged on this quickly turned out to be not true. Fucking great.

As we stood around bitching to each other about the stupid buses taking so damn long (and in the case of my class, also how cold it was this close to the door even bundled up) our teachers kept lying and insisting the buses would have to arrive any minute. Which was why they refused to let us sit down or even wheel out a TV cart with something we could watch. They probably thought the moment they tried to do something like that the buses would come, and thus it was a big old waste of time because they wanted to follow us right out the door. I mean, I can't blame them for wanted to fuck off too, but at 2 it really should've been apparent that the buses were not coming and that at the very least we should sit down.

At one point someone (probably the music teacher) decided to entertain us by trying to get us to sing along with her to a baby song, I forget which one. She quickly gave up when a cafeteria full of fourth and fifth graders just stared back at her. Well, almost, fucking Billybob was nearby in his own class and was into the song, and kinda was pissed no one else was. Music teacher's problem was that she didn't choose the right baby song, as RocketMan came out the previous fall and we thought the scene where the astronaut man child sings "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" while locked in an isolation chamber absolutely hilarious. Granted, at least half of us also would've done the part where the other astronaut starts screaming so maybe they were wise not to chose that song after all.

At any rate I was beyond bored and not in the mood singing baby songs that weren't sung by funny man children, so I started to mutter "99 bottles of beer" to myself. My three friends (the ones that Mrs. Jellyrolls hated) joined in immediately. Followed by half the class, half the cafeteria, and then the entire cafeteria by the second verse. We all sang quite eagerly, while all the teachers frantically ran around ordering us to shut up. It took a while, but threats of suspension finally did get the last of the singers to stop.

Multiple teachers (not just mine), the music teacher, and even the vice principal stood in front of us to chew us out for singing a "grossly" inappropriate song. I mean, it's just beer, but that's boring, straight-laced women for you. Anyways out of me and my three friends they demanded to know which one of us started it, as they knew it had to be one of us four based on how the singing started. My three friends refused to rat me out, but Billybob somehow correctly accused me of being the original singer. The amazing thing is that they immediately shut him down, because a sweet girl like me would never start singing about beer on my own.

Not long after they finally gave up asking (but stayed nearby so we couldn't start singing again) the buses finally arrived, at their normal time. After fighting against the wind (and it was a hell of a wind) I managed to be one of the first kids on the bus, for a change. Mrs. Jellyrolls immediately started to insist it wasn't her fault, no one told them to come early, honest. I ignored her and went straight to the back with my friends, who congratulated me for pissing off the teachers like that and getting away with it. I felt great for having done so without trying and we laughed about it until it was time to say goodbye.
 
I've quite a few stories:

In primary school there was this kid in my class who huffed and ate glue. He wasn't the brightest and left after one year.

In middle school one of my homeroom teacher thought it was a great idea to force us to interact with special-aid-kids since one of the parents of one of my classmates worked with them. Luckily I left before this became the pet project and sole life purpose of this teacher.

Also, in the same class, a bunch of the girls thought it was cool to snort Sherbet like cocaine.

During a class trip (in high school) some people of my class got drunk during the night and started to constantly call the elevator back and forth with an empty chair they had stolen from the lobby (we were staying in a low-grade hotel) and were very loud/listened to loud music. A lot of the other guests at the hotel got really pissed and complained about them. In the morning the teachers chewed my class mates out.
Also on the same trip the teachers forced us to walk around the city we were during rain (it was right before Easter and very cold) and left us to our own devices in a place notorious for drug dealers and the like to be around. This was especially hilarious since one of the teachers with us was one of those constantly talking about how bad drugs are.
I also bought a pack of china food from a vendor, which turned into some sort of mascot for my friends and me during the day. Once it was empty I washed it out and we drew smiles on it and gave it a name but I can't remember it anymore.
The whole trip was quite a ride but the only thing I got out of it were

There was also the time the last lesson of the day was supposed to be cancelled but then it was said we get a stand-in-teacher. After about fifteen minutes of waiting around in the classroom we said unanimously fuck it and left the school. Since plenty of my classmates and I as well were getting home via bus, only a few returned to snitch on us. The next day everyone who had left got detention but since I was the shy/silent kid, my absence wasn't noticed and I got off scot-free.
 
For some reason, our primary school decided that it was a good idea to "integrate" the kids who would normally belong deep inside spedial ed into normal classes. We basically had to wrangle them ourselves because the teachers had no idea how to.
One of these kids was a borderline tard with extreme anger issues. Anything could set him off, so most people never really interacted with him. One day, I was walking home from school when another guy comes running up behind me, pure panic on his face. He tells me to run, and I spot the tard speeding towards us and swinging his scooter above his head like it was some kind of a bat. He held it by its handlebars and helicoptered the bottom part around.
We ended up fleeing into the friend's house. The tard stood at the door for like two hours and kept charging it (at least that's what we assumed the loud thuds were) until something made him quit. When I asked my friend what set him off, he said that he tapped him on his shoulder to ask him to move away from the water fountain.
The next day, it was like nothing happened.
Last I heard of him was when he got into high school, and on day one walked up to a senior guy who was talking to his girlfriend, promptly telling him that he thought she was really ugly. Apparently, he got punched so hard he had to have one of his kidneys reattached, but that's just a rumor.
 
A football player got expelled after he had a literal tard lick his nipple, even funnier is that his dad was the head coach of the football team. Anyway the dad ended up taking a job in another state and that kid went with him. Also the downie kid got pulled out of school, and his mom went to the local news and they wrote a story about it.

Another one was a kid got caught jacking off in the middle of class to some girl who sat across the room from him, apparently this happened more than once. When I first heard who did it I was actually kind of shocked, cause he was a kid I would talk to sometimes back in middle school, tbf though he was always a little off.

Third one, the principal said nigger during an assembly and some negro walked out of the assembly and went and chimped out in the locker room, even though the principal only said it as an example of hateful word

Fourth, my hs was Catholic and when they found a school counselor was a dyke and had recently married, they fired her, this made the news since gay marriage was a hot topic at the time and then everyday for like a week there were protestors outside the school, who would stand around with their faggoty (heh) signs all morning

Fifth one about me, in freshman year of HS I would show up high pretty much every day and would "forget" my PE clothes two or three times a week, and I'd have to ask the teacher to let me borrow some extras, one day he got so tired of it he snapped at me in front of the whole class, but I was so fucked up that half way through his rant I just chuckled at him and asked, "bro what's even the problem here?", he fucking fuming now, but he just but his head in his hands and told to get out, I ended gettung a week of detention and had to write an apology, also I got to skip PE that day
 
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In something like the third grade I once pulled my usual "fuck with teachers" thing but it was a black woman. She fucked my shit up and literally dragged me out of the room by my mouth (I didn't even know that was possible) and told me none of my shit was going to be tolerated.

I was suitably impressed.

And I have been schooled by Catholic nuns and every single one of them adored me and put up with every single bit of my shit.
 
Count groudon said:
In elementary school me and my friends got in trouble for making guns and swords with building blocks because they said we were "promoting school violence" and they had an announcement the next day claiming that anything that promoted weapon violence in school was strictly prohibited.

Fucking faggots.
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i couldnt pretend to have a lightsaber since "those kill people"
 
UnimportantFarmer said:
I don't remember the year or grade, but I was about 10, and a female teacher c. 40 took a real fancy to a boy whom she would have on her lap sometimes stroking him like a pet animal. Needless to say, even in those distant days, this teacher had to go, but for me she just somehow wasn't there anymore. I had quite a succession of weird teachers, one who reputedly threw chairs at pupils, but all I noticed was he disliked teaching, and preferred we play basketball, another was some ginger woman aid worker weirdo.
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I sincerely wish I could unread this cursed information.
 
Gorgar said:
There was one kid who cut off his dick during prom.
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Ahead of his time
Kiwi Lime Pie said:
While I largely enjoyed reading these, the teacher had the tendency to include rather obscure, useless questions on our quizzes. Questions such as, "Why did character x wear a particular outfit in this week's chapter?" took away some of that enjoyment. :heart-empty:
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School more/less teaches people to hate reading
 
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