Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

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one time i science class in middle school, this kid was having trouble on this question on the chapter review, we were learning about temprature and this dumb fuck didn't know the answer and the teacher aid was giving them a hint. "what does you're mom use to check you're temprature when you're sick?" she responded "uhhhhh an insultor?"
 
I also had one of THOSE math teachers. "Mr. Horny", who also used to substitute in gym and biology. Mr Horny looked like Baldrick in Blackadder Goes Forth and often wore a knitted cap + tracksuit + trenchcoat combo. Maximum pervert style, I tell you. Blatantly obvious lecherous old man, who also was one of the few people that Crappy Lenny ever talked to. He got fired for groping a female teacher in an elevator and I've met him drunk at a hockey match some years after I graduated.
 
At a school I went to, I had this pedo here as a 9th grade algebra teacher around 2001:
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He had that record on his shelf and wore the belt buckle every day too. He's real short, big potbelly, had glasses and a goatee, always looked real disheveled like he lived in his car, and is a crazy fundie.

-He was always taking pictures of girls. With an actual film camera. Had a big stack of them in his desk. A favorite thing of his to do was spot two girls wearing the same clothing item and pose them together like twins for a picture.

-He'd always make sure to personally pass out assignments and "accidentally" rub his arm against girl's chests. Liked offering backrubs, or would just come up behind a girl and start rubbing her shoulders unexpectedly. Just super touchy in general.

-A friend kicked his football on the school roof once and went back that Saturday night to climb up and get it back. Found this teacher sleeping in his van behind the school. Teacher announced to the class Monday he'd spent the weekend at his cottage. I guess he did the van thing often.

-A girl had some sort of seizure/breakdown once and he pulled her from her chair and dragged her to the floor by the door to "stop her from disrupting class".

-He'd snoop through bags, purses, folders, anything you left unattended. Once I left an art project in a folder on my desk. It was a drawing of Terrance and Phillip from South Park and Terrance was saying "Eh, what's this all aboot?" (I have no idea, I was like 13). I got to art class later that day and get it out and that fucker had drawn cowboy hats on them, changed the text to say "Hey, what's this y'all, a boot?" and drew a big fucking boot in the middle of the picture. I was so pissed.

-He was weird around boys too. Especially boys who were dating the girls in his classes. Like an incel acts around "Chads". Just awkward around guys in general like we were going to cockblock him from being creepy.

-From what we could tell, he was a lifelong bachelor and since he was a hardcore fundie some friends and I figured maybe he was an ex-gay because of how awkward he was around men and was always creeping on anything female, or just a pedo trying to hide behind religion.

-We'd all reported him for being a creep and nothing happened. The school insisted he was an exemplary teacher and they'd never had a complaint. Later I found out it took until around 2008 to remove him, and that there had been a huge amount of complaints from parents, students, and other teachers but the school and office staff covered for him and ignored it all. He was fired but got no punishment.

-One of the complaints that came out later (the school staff had hidden the complaints rather than just shredding them or something) was that girls from his and other classes were receiving phone calls from him over summer break at all hours to wish them happy birthday or "Just to chat". He'd gone through school records to get their numbers. Since he did that, he had their addresses too. No clue if he drove by their houses or parked outside at night. Like I said, he was removed as teacher but that's about it.

-About his music, someone uploaded a track off his record to youtube. I guess that record company would record anything you sent them as long as you paid cash and it was vaguely Christian. It's the source of lots of the horrifying Christian record cover top 10 lists. Here's him singing his very own composition. Enjoy!
 
My math teacher in eighth grade was this old crotchety lesbian who worked as a clown on the side. This was common knowledge, and being immature little shits, everyone would joke about it behind her back.

Someone had the balls to make a joke to her face on the last day of school, and instead of flipping out, she decided to tell us the back story of how she got into clowning, and answered our questions about it. Apparently she had been doing it since she was young, and was well respected within the clown community. It was pretty cool. Everyone hated her, but I gained a lot of respect for her that day.

Unrelated, that I just remembered. Last semester, my professor was showing a YouTube video as part of lecture, and had the auto closed captions on, as there was a deaf kid in the class. Anyway, the video translated a string of dialog as "teen clit".

There were a couple chuckles from the peanut gallery, but this was by far the funniest thing I had ever seen in my life and I burst out laughing. I tried to contain myself, but you know when you try not to laugh, it makes something that much more funny? Yeah, I sat there for about a minute snorting and chuckling until I was asked to leave. Ended up skipping for like two weeks until the embarrassment died down.
 
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Not me but my dad and my uncles borrowed some equipment from the construction site my oldest uncle worked at and put all of the principle's office furniture on the roof of the school as a senior prank which has to this day still not been topped.

Also I was allegedly so obnoxious that the principal refused to deal with me and It was an established policy that I would be sent to the vice principal instead.
 
The year was 2007, when I was in grade 9, and there was this kid in the 10th grade who may as well be the physical embodiment of the edgelord culture back then. His name was Shane. I did share a social studies class with him though, so there’s that.

He often came to school dressed in black skinny jeans, metal themed t shirt, trench coat, rainbow armbands, big ass headphones around his neck and would wear a long white wig with dog ears on it. Sometimes he tried to decorate the outside of his locker with swastika stickers, but the janitor always managed to take them off during first break. Despite his outrageous appearance, for some reason no one ever confronted him about our dress code rules.

The thing about Shane was that he would argue with whatever facts that the teacher presented in social studies- often boiling down to nothing more than him saying that Hitler did nothing wrong in a nutshell (he didn’t word it that way, but that was his stance). He also had a weird obsession with the columbine shooters and with Timothy McVeigh- I think this was fuelled by his hormones.

The most baffling thing about him though was that he managed to get a new girlfriend just about every month- girls who I assume were degenerate weebs. At one point he did cheat on one of his girlfriends for her brother, or so I’ve heard.

I have tried finding his internet presence, but I have no fruit to bear since I guess he was smart enough to keep most of his faggotry in real life. He was one of those guys that no one would believe exists until they see him- because he was just that fucking weird.
 
In middle school, one of our math teachers was a Navy reservist, so he would spend a few weekends out of every year to fly jets off an aircraft carrier and log some flight time, but in the middle of one academic year, he was killed due to a botched landing at sea. I remember our Air Force reservist math teacher was pretty shook up by that.
 
I remember in elementary school once I had gone overdue my lunch balance, so I could get either cereal (which I didn't mind) or those shitty Smuckers PB&J sandwiches (not the ones that were seemingly homemade, those were the shit). I went with the cereal because fuck those shitty no-crust sandwiches, but it was Special K or some shit like that and not Cheerios. So I ate just the peanut butter and the fruit and threw the rest out.

But one of the lunch assistants pull it out of the trash and begin screaming "WHO THREW THIS OUT?". The entire lunchroom went silent. I didn't want to rat myself out, since it was obviously my lunch, but everyone knew it was mine. The lady goes on a rant about how we're "wasting food", and promised to give the kid who threw it out detention. I actually think I started crying because of it, because I was a good boy who never did anything wrong otherwise, and I didn't want detention for throwing out shitty cereal.

Did I learn my lesson? Nope. I actually think I got in trouble with the lunch ladies about it a few times afterwards as well... then again, these were the same bitches who yelled at me for eating too slowly and needing to go to the "leftovers" table. Sorry for being unable to eat in under 30 minutes, I guess :(
 
Math teachers are by far, the weirdest.

I had a geometry teacher who was one of the football coaches. He was built like a fridge and would waddle whenever he would walk. Turned out to be actually hilarious and calm. Eventually told the whole class that he had (if I can remember) a downy or autistic son. If you wanted to make up a failed test or quiz all you had to do was get him tacos and of course in the great state of Texas, a fresh cold can of Big Red or Dr.Pepper. He once put a emo kid on blast because of his hair. The dude's hair looks like it's never been washed and the crusty oil-like residue would hold all of it across his face, hiding his eyes. This would always make the teacher wonder if he was sleeping, so he called him out saying "I gotta buy you hairclips next time I go to the store."

My math models teacher was from Chicago and had a super nasally voice. Everyone had a perv vibe from him and he would constantly try to impress the girls in my class. I nearly failed because of his stupid mentality of if no one does the work they way he wants you to, you're wrong, even if the final answer was correct. Seriously, fuck him.

Then there was my Algebra 2 teacher. I think he was from Uganda or Nigeria. He had the accent and everything. He would raise his voice all the time and no one would take him seriously. He has said so many questionable statements and stories. For example, he said that one time his neighbor's dog jumped into his yard and CONTEMPLATED capturing and eating the poor thing. He's that much of a bizarre person that everyone in class didn't know whether to believe him or not.
 
I was in JROTC for highschool ever since freshman year(dad was in the army). Every military ball(which was essentially a sorta small scale prom for all cadets), some of the cadets who were high in rank and grade level would find a random to do the party boy routine from Jackass(no nudity of course). It was a funny way of trolling the target and our CO. It was all in good fun.

There was once this dude I used to be friends with. About 10th grade, some drama over trivial bullshit started and he reallyade things petty between us. He treated his friends and family like shit and had a big ego problem. He came out during the 10th grade as well and tried to make it a big deal. Though things cooled between us, I never bothered with him again because of how much of an ass he was to others. Last I heard about him from a friend of mine, he's gone full troon.

This one is a bit of a sad one. I was in the 5th grade, playing on the jungle gym with my mates. As we played, the assistant principal came to take me to the office. I thought I was in trouble when I saw my dad there but his face told another story. When we got into the car, he told me that my maternal grandfather had died, my grandpa that served in the navy during WW2. It was the first time I had to deal with death.

During college, I was working at my Linux class, messing with centOS when the building had to be put on lockdown because of a shooting at a nearby mall. I got done with my work quickly and got home. Most of the doors were locked except one behind my desk, snuck out through that one. Didn't mess with my plans to pick up my reserve copy of Fallout 4 that night. For that night, it was just another night class.
 
-In a similar vein to a lot of other people talking about math teachers, my grade 9 math teacher was a massive perv. He would always try to give girls back rubs. When he was collecting money for a state exam review book, which cost $2, he had a massive pile of $1 bills on his desk. Since I was the closest to him, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "I bet you know what I'm going to do with these later."

-There was a very old man who was a substitute teacher for a lot of different classes. I learned from my father that he used to be an olympic athlete and was a gym teacher at his high school when he was a teenager. I also learned from my aunt that he molested her, and I used that information to make his life a living hell whenever he had me.

-Another sub was an ancient german man who, when asked, would show a photograph of him in a Hiter Youth uniform that he always carried with him for some reason. No matter what class he was subbing for, he would always teach German. I later learned that he was a lot less enthusiastic and friendly when there were non-white students in the class.

-A couple years before I entered high school, a large proportion of the sophomore class at the time got syphillis because they were all fucking each other. Later that year, the fans for a visiting basketball team at my school brough hazmat suit costumes to taunt us.

-At the annual dodgeball tournament one year, a group of students decided to pre-game with 4-loko. In high school. They won, but they also all got suspended.

-It was an open secret that drug deals went on in the building during school hours. The administration never did anything about it because they never wanted to admit there was a problem.

-That didn't stop them from being neurotic about other things, though. I was in the yearbook club and, since I was the only one that really did any work, I had to report to the principal about what was going into the book and he had to approve every page. I had to blur the words on a shirt that was making fun of a rival school's mascot. Also, since the entirety of one of the boy's sports teams threw up the schocker for their official photo, I had to blur all of their hands.

-Relating to the drug thing from earlier, there was an incident where a couple of dudes were caught doing heroin on school grounds after hours, one was administering the drug to the other. When their statements were taken, the one having heroin injected into him insisted that the other had assaulted him and forcibly given him heroin. Weirdly enough, some people believed it.

-:powerlevel:I got mugged on a field trip to NYC. I made the mistake of telling a couple people about it, and it eventually got back to the administration. As a result, I had to write apology letters to the teacher who ran the field trip, the principal, and the superintendent for getting mugged.:powerlevel:
 
We once went to NYC in the fifth grade. One kid whom nobody liked ran out of the bus as it was his first time in the city, and smacked face first into a lamp post. As he was being lead back to the bus so he can go home, the rest of us were pointing and laughing while he was crying and bleeding.

Kids can be real monsters.
 
Well to start off I have to "handle" the retarded people at school. Basically I act as the tard gaurd and have to keep them from spazzing out or running around the place.I can usually fuck off and play video games on the television in the back that was set up for the autismos. Best part about all of this is I get a full credit for doing fuck all. But hey enough about the good shit. One we had this particularly odd ball retard come in. He's about yea high and oddly enough looks like a severely autistic, fat, Gary Coleman. Well the I'm doing what I usually do and play video games in the back and all the sudden I hear blood curdling screeching and arm flailing. I'm thinking "what in the Sam hell is going on in there", so I walk in to a pretty ugly scene. Apparently one of the autismos stole the autistic Gary Coleman's apple juice box, so in response autistic Gary Coleman stabs him with the straw. This prompts the autismo to them clamp don on autistic Gary Coleman's hand and is getting repeated punched in the face by Gary coleman. I try to split them up by grabbing the autsimo by the jaw and forcing it open. Bad move, because autismo went full turbo tard and bit down even harder with his tard strength and now my poor pinky is stuck in his mouth along with autistic Gary coleman's hand. And as tards tend to do, autistic Gary Coleman shit himeself out of fear because now he's being bitten by a inhuman turbo tard with me yelling every curse word in the book right in his ear. Lucky the adults came by and poor autistic Gary coleman had to get a few stitches on his hand from that shit, and a son for autismo. Well I lucky don't have his psychotic ass in my dominion of the tard anymore
 
Let's see now...

When I was a senior in high school, there were these two underclassmen girls who planted a sheet of paper with a bomb threat as a "joke" and the whole school was evacuated. One of the girls went on the local news for an interview when they were covering it later. So then the next day, a girl in the middle school plants a bomb threat note but was quickly caught, and when questioned about it, she said she learned it from her older sister. The older sister and her friend were both caught and suspended, which is probably getting off lightly for what they did...

When I was a freshmen, there was this dope who went full pothead upon reaching high school. One day he got so stoned off his ass, he poured the Spanish teacher's bottle of hand sanitizer onto his desk, then lit it on fire. He was caught and sent to reform school for two years

My late freshman English teacher once told us a story about a senior prank where they put two chickens into the ceiling. One of them was tagged with a #1 and the other #3. Both of the chickens were caught, but the staff went on a wild goose chase to find the #2
 
There was this fat kid with thick tard glasses who wouldn't say much and would just sit there and write out this novel...by hand. I got him to let me read it once and it was basically a gayer version of Yu Yu Hakushko and Animorphs.

He was voted most likely to shoot up the school in an unofficial poll we conducted that got us in deep shit for it and the artwork my friend did along with it. Also the fat writer dude would stand in the bathroom at the urinal trough and look at guys in a very creepy way. He's lucky he was so big because somebody would have probably kicked the shit out of him. I imagine he probably killed himself at some point.

There was this other guy who was in my journalism class who was obsessed with cars but not in a way to incorporate cool cars, like lame ones like minivans and shit like that. He would write about cupholders and other gay bullshit. Years later, he came out gay on Facebook and everyone was like "Yeah, not surprised, fag!". It's nice to see 30 somethings who haven't grown up since high school. Makes me glad I don't do the whole Facebook thing.
 
So, I went to a Christian high school, and people there were generally very nice. No real trouble with any sort of "intolerance" like SJWs like to whine on about. There was this one odd kid that would always follow me around and talk about random shit, like, no relation to anything. Being the relatively nice person (haha lol) I am, I didn't shrug him off but just kinda acknowledged it. It was also stuff that he was kinda misinformed about, I don't remember too much of specifics, so I couldn't name off much.

I didn't have too many "odd" people in school, in fact, I'm still friends with a couple people from there.
Maxliam said:
There was this other guy who was in my journalism class who was obsessed with cars but not in a way to incorporate cool cars, like lame ones like minivans and shit like that. He would write about cupholders and other gay bullshit. Years later, he came out gay on Facebook and everyone was like "Yeah, not surprised, fag!". It's nice to see 30 somethings who haven't grown up since high school. Makes me glad I don't do the whole Facebook thing.
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Seems very retarded to me. Surprising he didn't troon out instead though.
 
Give Her The D said:
So, I went to a Christian high school, and people there were generally very nice. No real trouble with any sort of "intolerance" like SJWs like to whine on about. There was this one odd kid that would always follow me around and talk about random shit, like, no relation to anything. Being the relatively nice person (haha lol) I am, I didn't shrug him off but just kinda acknowledged it. It was also stuff that he was kinda misinformed about, I don't remember too much of specifics, so I couldn't name off much.

I didn't have too many "odd" people in school, in fact, I'm still friends with a couple people from there.


Seems very exceptional to me. Surprising he didn't troon out instead though.
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Well given he was a walking O'Doyle from Billy Madison, I don't know if he could even be a troon. Thought it was said people in their 30's were knocking him for coming out as gay. Yeah it was obvious he was gay back in the day but god damn.
 
Maxliam said:
Well given he was a walking O'Doyle from Billy Madison, I don't know if he could even be a troon. Thought it was said people in their 30's were knocking him for coming out as gay. Yeah it was obvious he was gay back in the day but god damn.
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Huh, alright then. I guess it's usually people like that with more of an online presence that troon out.
 
In senior year, I was in a history class with a coked-out douchebag we'll call Tim and my good friend Mark. Mark's on the spectrum, and Tim kept trying to rile him up. One day Tim left a note on Mark's desk that could be summed up as "lol tard" and I just calmly called him out on it. The teacher (Who was one of my favorites) heard what was going on, saw the note and asked Tim to stay after class.

I then noticed he was gone for longer than usual the next few days. Mark and I were talking about it, and the teacher overheard. He then explained to us that when he was talking to Tim, a Ziploc bag full of coke and xans fell out of his hoodie, and he actually got expelled.

So basically, I'd inadvertently got someone else in trouble for shit I'd later do in college.
 
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