Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

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Back in high school there was this furry sped kid. We all called him "Dogboy" because he wore a dog collar and a fake tail around his belt. He had those hollow empty tard eyes with the thousand mile stare.

Anyway, his locker was right next to mine. He would rock up to school listening to this weird EDM music with animal howls and screeches and shit. He use to draw very very graphic images of dogs sodomizing each other.

He use to tard rage in class and tell us all sorts of shit about his ass burgers syndrome, which in reality was just sick-fuckery. One day, he had drawn a pic of a dog squirting cum all over its own face, and for some reason I had gotten enough of that shit and called him out. The dumb ass started bragging about his deviant-art and FA pages. So, naturally I found his accounts and showed everyone in my history class. Me and some friends found several posts talking about he wanted shoot up the school "Call of Duty style" and thousands of pictures of his OC dog alien hybrid raping other creatures.

At this point the teacher caught us. 2 hours later I was asked to come into the principles office where I was forced to give him Dogboys DA and FA usernames. He then looked them up, saw the disgusting shit. He immediately called the counselor, a very sweet, soft spoken Christian lady. She came over, took one look at the pictures, gasped, and briskly walked out.

The next day, we come to school and there's 3 cops waiting at the door. Dogboy comes in, they grab him and take his backpack. They find a bottle of hot sauce and he cringely says;
"That's ghost pepper sauce. I could kill you with it if I wanted to."

We never saw him after that.
 
I went to a ghetto high school with metal detectors and constant random searches, so retarded shit was always happening but my senior year administration decided to try and tame the nigglets so they could pass state graduation exams by instituting uniforms ... this did not tame them ... we ended up having food fights every lunch period for a week - violent, dangerous food fights involving at least 100 kids that would also turn into panicked stampedes. I started eating lunch in class after nearly getting btfo by a full Gatorade bottle.
 
-one of my teacher killed himself outside a McDonald's after his marriage broke up
-this one exceptional individual circles around the school halls everyday he doesn't take to people he just speed walks around the school in a set route everyday.
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The recent talk of arming school security officers reminded me of some crazy stuff from my high school years. I went to a school where everyone was fairly friendly partly due to the fact that 60% of us were going to school stoned. Including my science teacher. There were hardly any fights, though my first year there was actually a stabbing. It was just a jab in the leg with a pocket knife but it was a huge deal in the news and the kid who did it got expelled. I was surprised because I actually thought the guy who did it was pretty funny and cool.

That ain't the story I came to post though- that same year we had a bomb threat called in and we went on a four hour lockdown just as the first class was about to end. Supposedly there was a kid on campus with some guns who had planted a bomb somewhere and the school called in a full SWAT team and a bomb sniffing dog. We were trapped in the classrooms for hours, starving and having to piss in trashcans. Thankfully I was in my Latin class so it was all people I like and one of the most beloved teachers at our school. (He gave us the granola bars that he had stashed in his desk for when his blood sugar got low, and destroyed us all at chess to pass the time. )They finally let us out after a combined 6 hours in the same classroom, having never found a bomb or ever learning who made the threat.

A month or so later, the school decided to hire a security officer. He was a massive black dude named Romulus who quickly became friends with the jock crowd. Nice enough guy, but after a year he was quietly dismissed. Why?, we asked. I caught a rumor from some jocks who were friendly with him- Romulus was apparently homeless and living out of his car, kept clean by sneaking in to the boy's locker room after hours and showering in there, and was stealing food from the cafeteria when he could. He was either very scared of being found out or had some other paranoid tendancies- this one jock kid said that in their last conversation, Romulus claimed "they" were after him. Now that I think about it, there might have been rumors of Romulus having some kind of arrest warrent or other trouble with the law and was trying to hide out with this job. That might have been stretching it, considering the nature of high school rumors.
We had another lockdown two years later but they only kept us in for maybe two hours. Again, no suspects or evidence.
 
I like to think fourth grade was an interesting school year for me, but my memory of it is a little fuzzy. But anyway, I had three different teachers for that year, with the third being the most fun and we put on a performance for the parents near the end of the year (I believe it was a patriotic theme). The first one was this quirky lady who I think had been with the school for a few years or something like that, but I guess she enjoyed teaching. She had a giant stuffed bear in the room she named "Zoom" because when everyone's out of the room he'd "allegedly" run around the classroom. She also had a couple of computers and puzzles in the back she would allow a few students to use and work on if they finished their work early, and that helped strengthen my love for puzzles.

Well one day, she was gone. She was apparently fired, but for what, I'm not sure. I'm thinking it had something to do with her letting us go out to the playground for a little bit for some reason. So we got a new teacher, and she was quite the ugly hag. This hambeast wore gaudy clothes that barely fit her and the most heavy make-up I had ever seen on a woman, had the haircut you'd only really see on older women (whatever the short hair is, it's the style one of my grandmothers has always had and it's like an older style or something), probably was a smoker or an ex-smoker, and she was mean. She at first came off as a nice woman who would talk wonderful things about her daughter, but she called us names during lessons, would yell at us if we so much as whispered, and would randomly single out students to embarrass them about something, whether it was an assignment or appearance or whatnot. My mother was once on the phone with her about something during afterschool hours, and the hag politely excused herself to scream at the parent-pick-up children and threatening to keep them longer for a moment (all just for talking) before putting on her sweet honey tone returning to the phone. She was fired not long after that when enough parents complained.

The cherry on top of this shit sundae happened two years later when I went to the Renaissance Festival for a field trip. It was a miserable day partly because it was raining, and right as it was time to leave, Mom trailed behind to talk to someone or something, so I was going ahead to the buses. Just when I reached the exit, I did a double-take at this passing large lady wearing all green, gaudy clothes, heavy make-up, and orange-dyed hair (so yes, she looked like an obese leprechaun) and realized with horror it was the hag (she didn't see me). I ran to the bus and told my friend about it, and she didn't believe me. No one did. Not sure if I could really blame them because she was so awful and no one wanted to remember her, but it was a bit disheartening nonetheless.
 
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One more.

This one time in high school I was with a group of friends during our lunch hour. We filled up a cup of some freeze red ice drink and put different things in the drink. (We were dumb and thought it was funny at the time.) Things like a stick and rocks. Maybe even some coins. And we left it there to see if anyone would grab the free drink. Eventually someone did.
 
Lunete said:
One time in middle school a kid set a girl's weave on fire.
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WORLDSTAR!

I mean, this sounds like it could only have been more ghetto if it had happened at a Chuck E. Cheese instead.

The worst incident that happened at my school was when someone pulled the pin on a tear gas canister and threw it down a stairwell.
 
A sped at my school jacked off in the gym. I think I posted the story on reddit somewhere
 
When I was in first grade, every two weeks the school PTA would have a group come in to do a performance as they wanted us to experience culture. While most of these were excellent, there were occasionally a few duds. One such dud was Mary Mapes and Her Friends, which was a play about politeness and being a good friend. One of the characters in it was called Danny French. Danny could best be described as a proto-Mr. Palmer meets Leonard F. Shaner Jr's fictional twin. He was a fat retard who when he wasn't eating all the chocolate chip cookies was breaking Mary's music box and ruining the science fair. Anyway during the second act the show's villain came up with an "insulting" nickname for Danny after he ruined her science fair project. That nickname was BloofyToofy, a silly name that sounds like something from the Carebears. Needless to say us kids laughed at it, which resulted in Danny getting angry. He turned to the audience and said that the next person that laughed at BloofyToofy would get punished. So they start play back and as they say Bloofy Toofy again I smiled. Unfortunately for me I was sitting in the front row and when Danny saw me smile he yelled "Oh you think it's funny do you? Well if you think it's funny you can leave."

The vice principal came over and escorted me out of the cafetorium to her office. An hour later Danny came over and yelled at me for laughing at Bloofytoofy. I tried to apologize but Danny refused to hear it and said that it was obvious that I was a little punk who was going to wind up in juvy hall.. Due to this I was banned from all future performances of Danny's theatrical troupe, which was fine by me as I got to go spend time at the library while my classmates had to suffer through the performances.
 
There was a girl who had huge saggy tits, and one day some girls were making fun 0f her saying "do you even wear a bra????", like natural instinct she lifts up her shirt past her head and screams "I AM WEARING ONE RIGHT NOW"
I needed to dump bleach on my eyes because I had a perfect view of those monstrosities.

Another time was when the school THOT stood up in math class and said "just because I have Herpes, doesn't mean I'm a slut"

A personal story of mine was when I was in highschool my friends and I would do Kpop/Vocaloid dance covers and would perform them at various events in full cosplay.
 
In the 4th grade during proficiency tests, classmate excused himself to the restroom only to ditch school. Made it down a huge hill which the school sat on and a couple city blocks downtown to his mothers workplace at a bar.

Same moron also locked himself in an attic cabin during a field trip, woke everyone up in the middle of the night.
 
When I went to high school there was one kid that was just off and always by himself. I didn't interact with him much because he seemed a few cans short of a six pack and I didn't want to invite some Cable Guy situation.

A friend of mine was much more gregarious and tolerant than I was, he was popular and made friends with jocks, geeks, party animals and loners alike, and he felt kind of bad for the guy and did try to strike up conversation with him on one occasion when they were in the same class. He asked him what kind of music he liked. The kid responded in a flat, affectless voice: "Jethro Tull." This was decades after the height of Jethro Tull's popularity, so few teenagers of that day and age were very familiar with them. My friend wasn't one of the few, so trying to throw the kid a bone and have a real conversation, he was like "Cool, cool. I don't know much of their discography, but Aqualung is pretty good. Any other bands you like?" In the same flat, affectless voice, the kid replied, "No. Just Jethro Tull." Super awkward and with nowhere to go from there, my friend gracefully bowed out of the conversation.

In the last two weeks or so before graduation, I guess the odd kid realized that he was never going to have to see his classmates again, so he dropped what little pretense of observing social norms he had shown before and wore a wizard cape to school every day.
 
Internet_Loner said:
Always the math teachers! I had one I hated who obviously into teenage girls, all the pretty girls sat up front.
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Did we all have the same Algebra teacher? We had this one lanky fuck who taught alg/calc/trig and was also the supervior thing for the schools golf group. All it took to ace his classes was be a girl, wear a low cut shirt, be blonde, and attractive.
 
Since we're on the subject of math teachers, I can't remember exactly what was talked about, but I had an algebra teacher in middle school who out of the blue just spent the entirety of the hour ranting about shit because he apparently got fed up with something. It's how I learned about the origin of "faggot", and I guess he was fired for that. Strangely, though, this was the one teacher who wanted me to push myself into getting better at math since I struggled with math for a few years by then, thanks to a self-esteem blow by a fifth-grade teacher who told me all the answers to this one assignment were wrong when that was how I was taught by the previous teacher (who had left on maternity leave). And I was the only one who was told that, so I have no idea if I really did something wrong or what.

Anyway, in high school, I was voted "Most Likely to Become a Jedi". This isn't exactly :powerlevel: because it never made it into the yearbook even though I had my picture taken and requested to be photoshopped as a Sith Lord. Apparently the only reason for this was because the other guy never got his picture taken, though I wonder if there were other reasons behind why it never made it in.
 
In this one school I was in during the fourth grade, the teachers were assholes. One of them was giving me shit for an assignment that I was working on and was having difficulty with. I tried explaining to said teacher what part I was having difficulty with and she continued to chew me out. When I defended myself, she called a vote to see who all wanted me to leave. Pretty much everyone raised their hands, even some of my friends. I was upset and my half-sister(cool person btw) came to walk me home. Before I left, I gave everyone the bird and said "Screw you all."(I watched south park and futurama at the time). My half-sis didn't say anything as we walked home. In fact, she bought me a slurpee from 7-11 afterwards. That was the last time I went there because I was getting ready to leave the state anyways.
 
Ah, on math teachers...I had quite an interesting spread of them.

First semester freshman year my math teacher was one of my football coaches. Despite what you might think (he didn't let us slide because football) he was a competent teacher that actually helped me understand algebra.

My second semester teacher was the head football coach. He was less competent and let me slide after including photocopied Sam & Max comics in my notes. If I'd actually had to learn factoring, Id have never passed that class.

First semester of the next year: geometry. Fundamentalist Texan lady that in hindsight was probably going through menopause.

Next: Hot in a late 90's way white chick math teacher.

Next: Annoying burned out hippie folksinger lady.

Next: Hot in a late 90's way black chick math teacher.

I don't think I'm forgetting anyone.
 
One time in about 5th grade my class was watching this video about some science crap I don't remember. Anyway the format of the video was that it would ask a question like, "Viruses are typically killed by ***** blood cells" and then we were supposed to answer the question. The problem was that the blank was filled in with the same generic censor bleep used for cursing. This meant that none of us could take the thing seriously but the teacher got super pissed. Like he just could not handle us laughing at this dumb video.
 
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