Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
I was in the lunchroom at college, minding my own business, when I look over and I see a group of girls at a table. One of them has a squeeze bottle of honey. Right when I see them, she tilts her head back and begins drinking the honey like a cartoon character. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; it was one of the most ridiculous things I had ever seen. My friends weren't too bothered by it, but it had me dying laughing. I look over later, and she's pouring honey on her fingers and licking it off.

The kicker here is that the table this girl was sitting at was right in front of a line for Chik-fil-A. She could have gotten in line to get a real meal, but nope, honey it is.
 
Baldur's Gait said:
I was in the lunchroom at college, minding my own business, when I look over and I see a group of girls at a table. One of them has a squeeze bottle of honey. Right when I see them, she tilts her head back and begins drinking the honey like a cartoon character. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; it was one of the most ridiculous things I had ever seen. My friends weren't too bothered by it, but it had me dying laughing. I look over later, and she's pouring honey on her fingers and licking it off.

The kicker here is that the table this girl was sitting at was right in front of a line for Chik-fil-A. She could have gotten in line to get a real meal, but nope, honey it is.
Click to expand...
Hey, I can understand that. Honey's good.
 
A friend of mine came on the bus one day wearing red contacts and claiming he was a vampire. I humored him because I thought it was funny.

He did this for a few months before giving up.

I saw him recently. Apparently he worked at a textile mill and got his hand stuck in a machine. Now it looks like a deformed sock puppet. He got a house out of the accident. I guess alls well that ends well.
 
Sword Fighter Super said:
I saw him recently. Apparently he worked at a textile mill and got his hand stuck in a machine. Now it looks like a deformed sock puppet. He got a house out of the accident. I guess alls well that ends well.
Click to expand...
Man, and here I am like a dumbass saving up money and trying to get a mortgage.

Just why would anyone pretend to be a vampire for months, though?
 
class 9, biology class, winter season , reproductive system chapter.
i knew i could not control my laugh , so despite my roll no. being on first bench, sat on back bench, covered my mouth with a muffler n when teacher would point to women drawing ,i would snicker . continued for 1 week.

when chapter ended teacher asked me to stand up, " dear master anon, this is how babies are born, this is how even you were born".

whole class looks to me n bursts into laughter.
 
One time this really butch lesbian came to school wearing a Michael Vick jersey right after he had gotten out of prison. I asked her why she was wearing it and she wouldn't reply. Later as I was doing work in class, she nails me in the back of the head with a Nalgene bottle so hard that my vision goes blurry for a few seconds and says, "You best stop talkin shit, homie".
 
I was in an all white school and there was a black substitute teacher. We played a game of hangman in class. I started with the word "refugee camp" and others followed with "bushman" and other racist shit. She didnt notice.

Was fun.

Another funny time was when a kid peed in the handsoap bottles at the toilet. Semper fi Michael :semperfidelis:
 
Thelostcup said:
One time this really butch lesbian came to school wearing a Michael Vick jersey right after he had gotten out of prison. I asked her why she was wearing it and she wouldn't reply. Later as I was doing work in class, she nails me in the back of the head with a Nalgene bottle so hard that my vision goes blurry for a few seconds and says, "You best stop talkin shit, homie".
Click to expand...
Any other interactions with this person, or was that it?
 
At my elementary school, there was a resource/substitute teacher that everyone hated named Mrs. Gould. She was an angry bellowing walrus of a woman who would holler about it being too noisy at even the slightest sound. What I remember the most is that this corpulent woman used to wear VERY low cut shirts which is bad enough around young children, but she had the saggiest goddamn titties I have ever seen. I think it was Jeff Foxworthy that made a joke about long balloons three days after the birthday party, that's what was going on. These titties were flying south for the winter. It was so revolting. Looking back I'm thankful that I have been blessed with small boobs that will never attempt to escape my chest like that someday.
What's really funny is that in a conversation with a former boss who actually went to college with with her, I learned that all her classmates hated her too and thought she was an overbearing bitch. How she managed to become principal, I'll never know.
fortunecookie said:
I was in an all white school and there was a black substitute teacher. We played a game of hangman in class. I started with the word "refugee camp" and others followed with "bushman" and other racist shit. She didnt notice.
Was fun.
Click to expand...
This reminds me of another story from an afterschool program I went to- we weren't allowed to play hangman becasue it was "politically incorrect". We had to call it "Hang Person".
 
Kid who sat next to me in remedial math brought a gun to school, was talking about shooting the place up the previous day. It was period one, I had been out sick the last few days and the girls next to me were talking about how he had warned them not to come to school that day. We never saw that kid again, so he probably got expelled.

Still terrifies me to this day, tbh.
 
I was in high school in the late 90s (I am old for this forum). Anyway, we had a kid who was literally Eric Cartman in every regard. He was very fat, unathletic, an asshole, and a total psychopath. Now, I actually got along fine with him because we had shared interests. We both liked computers (at the time it was less common) and we both liked fishing.

Now, stories of this kid:
1. We both went fishing at the same spot. I never met this kid before freshman year, but apparently we both fished at this spot. This spot is/was very popular and public land that was next to this elderly couple's house. The old man would come out and yell at people for fishing in the spot, despite it being public (and even advertised as such). Even 14 year old me knew that the old man was harmless and senile, but this kid apparently put fishing guts and heads in the couple's mailbox. Normally I would've thought he was full of shit, but this kid was fucking crazy.
2. The kid got into a fight with one of the football players during break time in driver's ed. The fight was broken up before anything happened, but the kid told me that he kept a switchblade on him and told me that he was going to knife the football player the next day. I figured he was full of shit, but he showed me the switchblade the next day before school and I had to actually talk him out of doing it. I really should've told the teachers but it was the 90s and pre-Columbine, so I doubt anyone would've given a shit.
3. He was a huge stoner and would spend all night smoking pot with his stoner friends. He'd sleep during school as much as he could.
4. His mom was the home ec teacher and was exactly like Cartman's mom except she was physically like her son. She was very nice and spoiled her kid rotten.
5. He got away with a lot of stuff because his mom was the home ec teacher, but he was asked not to come back after soph year because he threatened to run over kids that he didn't like in the parking lot.

I wonder what the hell he's up to now...
 
When I was cleaning out my parents attic yesterday I came across an abandoned project my mom had worked on called School memories that was supposed to chronicle my school events from preschool to college. When reading through it I found my mom gave up at sixth grade, with the photographs showing the infamous performance of a school play we did. Seeing the photos brought back the wonderful memories of that fateful day.

Good Friends was a play that our teacher (Who was a lot like a female Doug Walker in that she wanted to really be a movie maker) had written on a bet with the drama teacher that she could make just as good a play as the drama teacher could. Despite the class being a math class she wrote a play and expected the entire class to star in it. However there was a slight problem with this. The school did not allow plays that featured Boy-Girl couples because they didn't want boys and girls kissing. So naturally my math teacher cast two girls to play the romantic leads and to make things even better both girls had the biggest boobs in the sixth grade and both would be wearing togas. Another fun fact was my teacher wanted it to be a musical. So she wrote the songs and then had the kids who could sing rehearse them. The only problem was that the songs were out of range for the people singing it and as such they struggled to hit the notes. The final piece of this shitshow was that my math teacher wanted to work one of the Science Olympiade projects into the play as one of the leads was an inventor. The invention she chose was a cycloped, which was a self-driving car the Olympiade team had built that was always undergoing repairs due to the brakes and speed modulator not working.

So after two weeks of rehersal we finally get to perform the play for the parents on a Saturday afternoon. The first act is a disaster. Two of the singers blew their voices out, people missed their cues and forgot their lines and one of the girls accidentally gave the audience a view of her tits when she had to lean over to fix the fence at the front of the stage. Things went from bad to worse in the second act when the other girl decided to unveil her new invention. The invention was supposed to come off stage left go across the stage and then come back. Unfortunately the minute the cycloped started up it shot out of stage left, sped across the stage to stage right, went down the stairs and out the open side door and then went speeding down the hallway before violently crashing into a memorial that had been put up to honor a teacher that had passed away. Upon that happening, the Principal came onto the stage and announced the show was over.
 
I remember a couple of things. My school experience was relatively positive but a few things stood out.

-Teacher made me erase all of the work I'd done in my 1st grade math text book because me and my mom had gone ahead of the class because I was struggling. Same teacher also let me wander off school property and blamed it on their parenting.
-Got tackled by a 200 pound kid running with the speed of 1,000 Nigerians while I was a goalie. Both of us got suspended because of the "No Tolerance" Policy.
-Highschooler stole my art book and drew dicks on all of the things I made and tried blaming it on me. Dicks wouldnt erase as they were in ink pen while my drawings were graphite.
-Had a college roomie who called me a "prude" and banged her BF every night she could while I brought over nerds to play vidya. I rigged a system with help from said nerds to blast children's songs whenever they got to noisy time. She proceeded to get incredibly pissed off, tried bullying the nerds, who than spread rumors that she was pregnant and was playing baby songs. She then started walking around topless all the time screaming about how we were going to murder her (???) before disappearing after 2 weeks.
 
Last edited:
Sword Fighter Super said:
Your school had a trough instead of individual urinals? Are you in the UK or something?
Click to expand...
Let's just say it made for some steamy bathroom breaks...
No it was just an old school built way back in the day. Like it was the Negro school when Jim Crow was still in effect in Texas. It was "updated" in the 80's, kinda.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom