Shanties Without Panties - Gunt Parody Song Thread - Submissions Welcome

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
A aloggy Christmas album Singles

Momma its nawt hot outside
Parody of baby its cold outside by dean martin
Written by Cal Rollia


(Verse 1)
I really got to go (but it's not nawt outside
Ralph you gotta get up (it's nawt hot outside)
I have an appointment (my life is a disappointment)
At nine in the morning (the pills are for snorting)
I need the dialysis(ma I may have paralysis)
Why do you have a picture of a little girl (her name is soph)
There's cumstains in your hand (I can barely even stand)
Where is nora (she's a damn whora)
So have you talked to even (why ask this question)
You have a ton of hiccups (im just a little fucked up)
Ralph I really I need to go (my ass cant get up)
Say what's in this drink (A bunch of pills in this mark)
I wish evan wasn't deformed (Hath no fury like a woman's scorned)
To take me to the doctor (I didn't choke her)
Ralph seriously get up ( you see im booze up)
Are you really going to make me call an Uber (you know im a very famous YouTuber)
Didn't you get banned? (But ma I got 50 grand)

(Chorus)
You need to get up (get over that old doubt)
Aw, but it's can't hot outside


(Verse 2)
You need to get up (it's not hot outside)
I'm not calling an Uber (it's nawt hot outside)
Is that nora's dildo (ma you can take a stroll)
I really need to get my dylasis (you know I don't need your analysis!)
Look at this room its mess (Ma you're putting too much stress)
Why dos your search history has scat (how about you suck a dick how about that!)
Why did you call flam autisitc (his social cues made me balistic)
Have you talked to shanny (he's nothing more than a Janny)
Well, could you at least your room(Well you buy me some rum)
I've got to go (But ma I can't get up)
Say, at least drive me there (You can ask blair)
You really made me ashame (who is that to blame)
But ralphie get up (you hurting me more than Ronnie did)
This will surely back fire somehow (I only live for now)
Is your mic on (maybe it Is)


(Chorus)
You need to get up (get over that old doubt)
But momma it's nawt hot outside!!!

 
Last edited:
Come on Sandra
Parody of come on Eileen by Dexy Midnight Riders
Written by Cal Rollia

(Intro)
Come on Sandra
Come on Sandra

(Verse 1)
Poor ol Ronnie Ralph
Left his two sons to get cigarettes
Leaving his family in massive debts
Oh Sandra cried
Cope along, who'd blame them
Ralph grown (he grown)
Evan grown (not really)
I must say the genes are fucked as ever
Come on sandra
It's nawt truu ra
Hawt outside rye aye
And now sandra can look at Ralph in shame

(Chorus)
Come on Sandra
Take a hike
(It's nawt truu)
At this moment
(Suck a dick)
You mean EVERYTHING
Call an uber
While im in a Stupor
Looking at soph dirty
Ah Come on Sandra
Come on Sandra

(Verse 2)
These alogs round here
Spreading lies and documenting ethans life like they are Schizos
They're so pyscho admiring the gunt like it's lizzo
But not us
No never
No not us
Us gunt guards are young and clever
Remember!
It's nawt truu ra
Hawt outside rye aye
Sandra you didn't die in shame

(Chorus)
Come on Sandra
Take a hike
(It's nawt truu)
Ah come on let
You don't Need ANYTHING
Forget about dialysis
Sandra
(No vaccines)
Ah come on lets
Ah Come on Sandra
Forget about dialysis
Sandra
(No vaccines)

(Bridge)
Ah Come On Sandra
Please..
Ah
Come on Sandra
Nawt truu la rye
Hot outside la aye
Come on Sandra
Trruu la rye
Now the kids have grown
Now the genes are fucked (hot outside aye)
Oh, Sandra
Come on Sandra
Come on Sandra

(Chorus)
Come on Sandra
Come On Sandra
Take a hike
(It's nawt truu)
At this moment
(Suck a dick)
You mean EVERYTHING
While ralph in a Stupor
Looking at soph dirty
Aah, come on Sandra
Come on Sandra (oh)
Come on Sandra (oh)
You mean EVERYTHING
(Come on! Come on!)
While ralph in a Stupor
Looking at soph dirty
On, Sandra!

 
I seen the doom and copium. Here's a parody that should cheer you guys up.

Coping in the fourm
Paroody of dancing in the dark by Bruce Springsteen
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
I get up in the morning
The gunt pled no contest
I see the forum seething
You might think it's injustice
Faith nothing but a schizo
She's not a good witness
Calm down for a minute, enjoy an expresso

(Chorus)
You won't be felted
If don't you get invested in lolsuits
I know it firsthand
Just don't go coping in the fourm

(Verse 2)
There's so many cows to herd
Why should we have to fret
Pitting targets on a discord
The gunt should acknowledge my parodies
Got to let the cope go
I warned you guys about this
Sometimes you got to eat crow

(Chorus)
You won't be felted
If you don't get invested in lolsuits
I know it firsthand
Just don't go coping in the fourm

(bridge)
Sitting here with black pills
You need dial back and enjoy the lols
Don't make a mountain out of a molehill
Come on alogs laugh with me
Search around for lolcows
I'm sure there's a plethora to find
Just Don't get too attached to them
They say you got to stay hungry
You know ralph can find another chick to thumb
We're dying for kino
I'm sick of sitting in cope
Trying to lock up the gunt
Stay werey of chomos
We just gotta find a cow to adjust

(Chorus)
You won't be felted
Hyping up lawyer who said he'll be in touch
I know it firsthand
Just don't go coping in the forum
You won't be felted
Figuring out how a election rigged
I know it first hand

(Outro)
Just don't go coping in the forum
Just don't go coping in the forum
Just don't go coping in the forum
Just don't go coping in the forum

 
Last edited:
WhimsicalTrolli said:
To cheer you guys up, here's a parody that can cheer you guys up.

Coping in the fourm
Paroody of dancing in the dark by Bruce Springsteen
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
I get up in the morning
The gunt pled no contest
I see the forum seething
You might think it's injustice
Faith nothing but a schizo
She's not a good witness
Calm down for a minute, enjoy an expresso

(Chorus)
You won't be felted
If don't you get invested in lolsuits
I know it firsthand
Just don't go coping in the fourm

(Verse 2)
There's so many cows to herd
Why should we have to fret
Pitting targets on a discord
The gunt should acknowledge my parodies
Got to let the cope go
I warned you guys about this
Sometimes you got to eat crow

(Chorus)
You won't be felted
If you don't get invested in lolsuits
I know it firsthand
Just don't go coping in the form

(bridge)
Sitting here with black pills
You need dial back and enjoy the lols
Don't make a mountain out of a molehill
Come on alogs laugh with me
Search around for lolcows
I'm sure there's a plethora to find
Just Don't get too attached to them
They say you got to stay hungry
You know ralph can find another chick to thumb
We're dying for kino
I'm sick of sitting in cope
Trying to lock up the gunt
Stay werey of chomos
We just gotta find a cow to adjust

(Chorus)
You won't be felted
Hyping up lawyer who said he'll be in touch
I know it firsthand
Just don't go coping in the forum
You won't be felted
Figuring out how a election rigged
I know it first hand

(Outro)
Just don't go coping in the forum
Just don't go coping in the forum
Just don't go coping in the forum
Just don't go coping in the forum
Click to expand...
here's a better song that fits better

the Vickers fucked themselves so hard its hilarious
 
Gunt moves
Parody of Night Moves by Bob Seger
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
He's way too fat could've lose a few pounds
Any criticism, he's gonna flag you down
His pedobride losing her long brown mane
Took her car to Vegas for cocaine
Left her for cocaine

(Verse 2)
Stuck in a snow storm at Washington,
Traffic wasn't moving he could've sharted
If it wasn't for a black man he would lose oxygen

(Chorus)
Working on the gunt moves
Tryin' to get the sad and trad approve
Working on the gunt moves
In the wintertime
Mmm in the sweet winter time

(Verse 3)
They weren't in love- oh no far from it
The gunt would rather retweet the much younger alice
Gator is already trying to simp for the fun of it
Tryin to pick her up
You can seethe away every chance you could
To Vegas, to Washington to slippery roads
You used her she used you, but neither one cared
Gator is waiting his turn

(Chorus)
Working on the gunt moves
Trying not to confuse meigh's hand for hooves
Working on the gunt moves
Mmm and it was winter time
Mmmm sweet, wintertime
Wintertime

(Bridge)
She wishes to be more of cunt
We done the alogging
Yeah, she'll soon punt the gunt
Punt the gunt
I woke up to the sound of holler
"It's not true" he said and I wondered
Started humming a parody from 2021
Ain't it funny how the gunt moves
Wondering how much the gunt has to lose
Strange how the gunt moves
With probation closing in.
(Outro)
Mmm, night moves, mmm
(Gunt moves) gunt moves
(Gunt moves) yeah
(Gunt moves) I remember
(Gunt moves) ah, I sure remember the night moves
(Gunt moves) ain't it funny how you remember?
(Gunt moves) funny how you remember
(Gunt moves) I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember
(Guny moves) oh, oh, oh

we were aloggin', snipin' and gayopin'
(Night moves) aloggin' and snipin'
(Gunt moves) oh, on the gunt moves, gunt moves
(Gunt moves) oh
(Gunt moves) I remember, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember
(Gunt moves) ooh
(Gunt moves) I remember, Lord I remember, Lord I remember
(Gunt moves) ha, ha, ooh-hoo
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Uh huh, uh huh
I remember, I remember

 
Opportunities (Lets make lots of kino)
Parody of Opportunities by Pet Shop Boys
Written by: Cal Rollia


(Chorus)

I-I-I got the Coke
You've got the Weed
Let's make lots of kino
Yo-Yo- you got flabs
I got the stutter
L-L-LeT's Muh-muh makes lot of


(Verse 1)
I've had enough seething
Be-Be-Being the gunt's lapdog
My views has declined
Relationships been Ch-Ch-Charred
I'm looking for a cohost
Someone to make content
Ask yourself this question
"Would like to be famous"


(Chorus)

I-I-I got the Coke
You've got the Weed
Let's make lots of kino
Yo-Yo- you got flabs
I got the stutter
L-L-LeT's Muh-muh makes lot of Kino


(Verse 2)

You can till i-i-im Grifter
Owned the libs at gamergate
Burning relationships as the host of the kumite
I can set up obs, fire up a new warpath
If you got the rage I got the wrath

Bridge
Oooh, there's a lot of opportunities
If you know how to capitalize you know
There's a lot of opportunities, if there aren't you can make them
Make or break them

(Chorus)
I-I-I got the Coke
You've got the Weed
Let's make lots of kino
L-L-LeT's Muh-muh makes lots of
Ahhhhhhh
Kino
Ahhhhhhhh

(Verse 3)
You see I been through many cohosts
I earned the name retarded Phoenix
How'd you feel about it come take a walk with me?
I'm looking for a cohost regardless of expense
Think about it se-ser-seriously
You know it makes sense

Chorus

Let's (got the weed) make (I got the coke)
Let's make lots of kino (ooh kino)
(Rackets) you've got the flabs
(Jim) I've got the stutter
Let's make lots of kino (ooh kino)
I-I-I got the Coke
You've got the Weed
Let's make lots of kino
Yo-Yo- you got flabs
I got the stutter
L-L-LeT's Muh-muh makes lot of Kino


 
Last edited:
Guntsbury Hill Parody of Solosbury Hill by
Peter Gabriel
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Thrown my broom at guntsbury hill
I can see the brighter times
Don't have to be a shill
Gunt Hollerin at the night
He was something to disavow
Came in close, I heard a voice He weeps what he sowed Had to listen had no choice

(Chorus 1)
I'm tired of being a gunt guard My career is best at the sweetie squad
Threw my broom it said plop plop plop plop
"Andy," she said "you've been a father more than Ethan Ralph"

(Verse 2)
People told me to break free I told them
"maybe im a little retarded"
Wouldn't it be funny to see him seethe
He couldn't admit that he sharted
So I went from day to day
The less I keep my mouth shut
Defending Ralph just became gay
It was easy for which connection I should cut

(Chorus)
I'm tired of being part of the kill stream
I want to watch another pillstream
Threw my broom it said plop plop plop plop
"Andy," she said "you've been a father more
than Ethan Ralph"

(Verse 3)
When the pill bottles start to me
Lying about how you got beat
It was 4 guys you pirouette
The house always wins I tweet
Ralph spite travel being belligerent
Thrown my broom and chains now im free No one taught him etiquette
There's a Puerto Rican Blonde for me

(Chorus)
Today I won't lick up any more gunt crease
I'm going to see my ratings increase
Threw my broom it said plop plop plop plop
"Shanny" jim said "how you like to be my cohost"

 
Last edited:
I'm holding out for a janny
Parody of I'm holding out for a hero
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Where have my good friends gone
Where all the mods
Disavowed and pilled
out I need a few good gunt guards
Isn't there a paypig who can ride my firey steed
Late at night I holler and I turn to hold in my endless seethe!

(Chorus)
I need a janny
I'm holding out for a janny
To sweep up the chat
He's gotta he quick and will do it For free and help with every spat
I need a janny!
I'm holding out for a Janny
Who tell me im big bone rather than fat
He's gotta say that it's not true that I just stretch my leg it wasn't a shart!
(It wasn't a shart)

(Verse 2)
Somewhere after midnight
I found a Portuguese teen I
walked to her asking for service but 4 men start beating me!
Beaten and bruised the docs gave me a abundance of pills!
Its gonna take a SuperJanny to secure the show that I built!

(Chorus)
I need a janny
I'm holding out for a janny To sweep the chat
He's gotta he quick and will do it For free and help with every spat I need a janny!
I'm holding out for a Janny
Who tell me im big bone rather than fat
He's gotta so say that it's to not true that I stretch my leg it wasn't a shart! It wasn't a shart I need a janny!
To sweep up the chat!

(Bridge)
Write a article without mention my daddy jim's name!
Now Jeremy's grifting skills is a shame!
All you damn alogs is sucking my fame!
But there's always a simp ready to serve Happy to lick off my crease!
I can feel his sweeping like a fire with swift Maneuver

((LIKE A FIRE
LIKE A FIRE LIKE A FIRE
LIKE A FIRE
LIKE A FIRE
LIKE A FIRE
LIKE A FIRE)


(Chorus)
I need a janny
I'm holding out for a janny
To sweep up the chat
He's gotta he quick and will do it For free
and help with every spat
I need a janny!
I'm holding out for a Janny
Who tell me im big bone rather than than
He's gotta say that it's not true that I just stretch my leg it wasn't a shart!
I need a janny
I'm holding out for a janny
To sweep up the chat
He's gotta he quick and will do it For free
and help with every spat
I need a janny!
I'm holding out for a Janny
Who tell me im big bone rather than fat He's gotta say that it's not true that I just stretch my leg it wasn't a shart!

 
Last edited:
Don't Take Your Purse to Lisbon
Parody of 'Don't Take your Guns to Town'
Original Song by Johnny Cash

A manlet named Ethan Ralph was seething from the farms
A wigger who was short on height, and even less on charm
He donned his gucci glasses
And his pants which were stained brown
But Gator cried as he walked out:

Don't take your purse to Lisbon
Leave your purse at home, Ralph
Don't carry that purse around

Ralph Joker laughed, and kissed his mare, and said, "your Ralphamale's a king"
Once I'm done owning Warski, I'll get you a real ring
I'll be home for our baby girl, so don't let your long face frown!"
But Meigh cried as he toddled away:

Don't take your purse to Lisbon
Leave your purse at home, Ralph
Don't carry that purse around

Ralph waddled from the airport with his gunt below his hips
The locals whispered to themselves, 'I hope that fat pig trips'
Lurching to the nearest bar, wearing his BK crown,
Ralph heard Dick's warning echo again:

Don't take your purse to Lisbon
Leave your purse at home, Ralph
Don't carry that purse around

Ralph drank his fifteenth Maker's Mark to calm his shaking hand
And tried to tell himself that this was all somehow God's Plan
A Moroccan couple at his side started to shake him down
And he heard again his mother's words:

Don't take your purse to Lisbon
Leave your purse at home, Ralph
Don't carry that purse around

Filled with rage then, the Ralphamale got up to start a fight
But the moors ganged up, and took his purse, and fled into the night
As Ralph was choking on his teeth, paramedics gathered 'round
And wondered at his whimpering words:

Don't take your purse to Lisbon
Leave your purse at home, Ralph
Don't carry that purse around

 
To the tune of sea shanty Leave Her Johnny.

I thought I heard the ayylawgs say
"Leave her, Ethan, leave her
It's time to prove the haters wrong
And it's time for you to leave her"

Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
Oh, leave her, Ethan, leave her
For she’s a pregnant horse bearing your child
And it's time for you to leave her!

Oh, the flight was long and you went alone
Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
From Virginia to the Lisbon streets
And it's time for you to leave her

Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
Oh, leave her, Ethan, leave her
For the only thing you can eat is fast food
And it's time for you to leave her!

Oh, the beating was bad and they stole your purse
Leave her, Ethan, leave her
Just be glad you didn’t leave in a hearse
And it's time for you to leave her

Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
Oh, leave her, Ethan, leave her
For your dignity’s gone and so are your friends
And it's time for you to leave her!

It was Burger King and mayonnaise shrimp
Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
You ate it ‘cuz it was all you could get
And it's time for you to leave her

Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
Oh, leave her, Ethan, leave her
For your face is bruised and your pride won’t heal
And it's time for you to leave her!

Well, it's time for your friends to say goodbye
Leave her, Ethan, leave her
For their respect for you is all pumped dry
And it's time for you to leave her

Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
Oh, leave her, Ethan, leave her
For all you have left are your pills and booze
And it's time for you to leave her!
 
To celebrate the life of the Giorgio Armani manpurse and the whole Portugal thing here's some revisited Giorgio Moroder tracks:


Late night flight, D.A.X.,
Limousine and you're all set
The sunset, my mindset

Streamer house a penthouse suite
The street's alive below your feet
The sunset, my mindset

Teenage girl, whiskey man
Snorting every gram he can
The sunset, my mindset

Swagging on every night
Underneath the neon signs
The sunset, my mindset

Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Owning all of the haters allright
The sunset, my mindset

Rich white guys, thumbing broads
Winning in the Lisbon roads
The sunset, my mindset

In between pretty girls
Still fourteen but know the world
On sunset, on sunset

Foreign bars, loads o'drugs
In this city we're the thugs
The sunset, my mindset

Warski sighs, copes and seethes
And his sister wants my dick
The sunset, my mindset

Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Owning all of the haters allright

Friday night, my timeslot
They don't know the clout I got
The sunset, my mindset

Life is hot, there's no rest
In this sector I'm the best
The sunset, my mindset

Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Owning all of the haters allright
The sunset, my mindset


I've been watching you dancin'
Just came to find a fat blob
I wanna show you my fight moves
And baby, I got a lot

Got the hots for your manpurse
I wanna try it for size
I wanna follow you out babe
With that drunk look in your eyes

And you walk in the night
Through an alley despite
Its incline, its incline

I wanna rob you, I wanna mug you
I wanna assault you, all night long (all night long)
I wanna rob you, I wanna mug you
All night long (all night long, all night long)

I've got the knuckles to move you
Fall back and faint for a while
I'll knock you out to high heavens
In the dead of the night

You're my night time yankee
I'm your night time Ahmed
Disheveled on the pavement
Oh look how much you have bled

Let me take that Armani
I will spend all your money
All night long, all night long

I wanna rob you, I wanna mug you
I wanna assault you, all night long (all night long)
I wanna rob you, I wanna mug you
All night long (all night long, all night long)


Don't be mistaken by the first impression
And watch out for that virginial expression
(Ooh-boy) He's not what she seems
(Ooh-boy) Don't judge from his streams
'Cause when he breaks away from the gunt
Gator is on the hunt, so run

He got fired
And he streams in the night til the break of light
He got fired
With the heat of the deets bringing the receipts
He got fired
And the name of the game is to reach e-fame
He got fired, fired, fired, fired

And so the beef with Shannon's your decision
But understand he's not quite like your minion
(Ooh-boy) I'm warning you now
(Ooh-boy) You sure you know how?
Cause he can take your life like your wife
Can molest a young child, DAS RIGHT

He got fired
And he streams in the night til the break of light
He got fired
With the heat of the deets bringing the receipts
He got fired
And the name of the game is to reach e-fame
He got fired, fired, fired, fired

He got fired, and he's winning


Turn around
Look at what you see
In Guntsville
There’s barely any bridge

Nick Rekieta, Shannon Gaines
Gone over a slight
Written on his Twitter
Is the epic of a neverending harvest
aaaahhh

Jimbo’s gone
A new blood enemy
Daddy Jim
To him you were a king

Faith keeps Xander locked away
Like a shiny Roman coin
And there upon the court files
Is the sequel to a neverending harvest
aaaaahhh

Dax is there
How long we cannot say
As for Rand
He’s more in love than Meigh

Guntguards keep their secrets
But they’re all compelled to snake
As bridges burn the corn fields
Keep on carrying Ethan’s neverending harvest
aaaaaahhhh
 
Last edited:
Do you really wanna felt me
Parody of Do you really want to hurt me by Culture Club
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Its not truu
I did not poo myself
I'll holler over you
Spent so much dough on blow How can metokur run a coup

(Chorus)
Do you really want to felt me
Do you really want me make me seethe
Roasting my ego has scorned me Alogs using my expense for sneed

(Verse 2)
In my gunt my rage is burnin Choose my height to find my star Damn alogs will always stalk me That's a step, a step to far


(Chorus)
Do you really want to felt me Do you really want me make me seethe Do you really want to felt me Do you really want me make me seethe

(Verse 3)
Bridge are built meant to be broken
My friends are suppose to take my orders Bibble is nothing more than a token
Owning warski crossing the border
I've been hollerin but believe me
That coin merchant took my son
that boy needs to see me
I'm prepare to forget meigh's spawn

(Bridge)
If you want to make fun of I'll
I'll gladly burn the bridge
Remember the times we fun made of Matt It cant be over again

(Chorus)
Do you really want to felt me
Do you really want me make me seethe
Do you really want to felt me Do you really want me make me seethe
Do you really want to felt me Do you really want me make me seethe Do you really want to felt me Do you really want me make me seethe

 
Last edited:
Fear the metokur
Parody of don't fear the reaper by Blue Oyster Cult
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Here you are with friends gone
Streamer fear metokur
Laughing with a cough or a smoker
We can be like the sweeites are

(Chorus)
Come on lowcow don't fear the metokur
Your career is gone don't fear the metokur
Your numbers are down don't fear the metokur
I'm your top alog
La la la la la la la

(Verse 2)
You stormed into a house
Asking whos five' one
Jarbo and gamergate
Are together in eternity
Jarbo and gamergate
Ethics in journalism
Like jarbo and gamergate
Ethics in journalism
Redefine overweight
Another gamergate
Coming everyday
We can be like the sweeties are

(Chorus)
Come on lowcow don't fear the metokur
Your career is gone don't fear the metokur
Your numbers are down don't fear the tour
I'm your top alog
La la la la la la la

(Verse 3)
Bone fractured by the moors
eBay has found your murse
Tweeting up in the night of sadness
Pilled up and wounded on
Blocking friends while restless
Gator is doing better your you
Just admit that you're jealous
Saying don't be felted

(Alternative chorus)
Come on alog write the article in fear
Can't say name is out loud
Alogs looked around and said lul
Faith had took your xander
May will follow suit
You're the new chandler
Come on alog
Don't fear the metokur

 
where's the killstream janny?
parody of where is everybody? by nine inch nails


first my manpurse got snatched, then my pig face was smashed
i thought the portuguese were fans of mine
gambled away all my cash, now my wallet is bare
i'm just stuck with my mare while my views decline

then i sperged out at jim, thought i'd never burn that bridge
they never brought back killstream tv
now my situation is dire, my career's a trashfire
and i'm running out of places to stream

i need my vikes
to get through the night
write a seething article on my website
it turned out real bad, the paypigs are mad
gator has turned on me, i'll declare jihad

streaming and screaming
and posting and coping
doxing, blocking
where's the killstream janny?

drinking and sharting
banning, jannying
coping and seething
where's the killstream janny?

i'll post your face to the /cow/ board
send zoom to go holler at your door
you're an alog now, snaking and faking
you traitor, why did you go and post those dms

they weren't supposed to see them
i haven't had one drink since my mama died
i'll give may a black eye, commit homicide
i've been defied, by both may and eagle eyes

streaming and screaming
and posting and coping
doxing, blocking
where's the killstream janny?

drinking and sharting
banning, jannying
coping and seething
where's the killstream janny?

streaming and screaming
and posting and coping
doxing, blocking
where's the killstream janny?

drinking and sharting
banning, jannying
coping and seething
where's the killstream janny?
 
Jim (Stan Parody)
built off of this guys verse
Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:
Dear Mister "I'm Too Good to Come on Stream and Save My Fans"...
This will be the last tweet I ever send your ass!
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it???
I know you got my last two DMs, I wrote the hangout links on 'em perfect! *hick*
Shhhooo... this is my death threat I'm sending you, I hope you read it.
I'm in my Nissan right now, I'm doing 90 and on my way!
Hey Jim, I drank two bottles of Maker's!
I'm just so fucking sad!
You know the song by Da Gunt, "World's Best Dad"??
Clownin' me, my life and my dreams of seeing my son Xander...
That's what it should be like with you and me, this aint just banter!
You should have been there so they wouldn't call me "fatty"!
Now it's too late, and you'll never be my daddy!
And all I wanted was a lousy tweet or a call!
I hope you know I ripped all of your posters off the wall!
I love you Jim, we coulda been together, think about it!
You ruined it now, I hope your ass gets covid and you stream about it!
And when you stream I hope your headset breaks and you scream about it!
I hope your cancer eats at you and you dream about me!
See Jim... shut up May! I'm tryin' to holla!
Hey Jim, that's my woman countin' our last dollar.
We spent it all on gas, pills and a used .45! I hope you're ready to die...
I thought you were my father but it was all a fucking lie.
Well, gotta go, we're almost at your house now...
Oh shit, without Gator, how am I supposed to stream this shit out?
Click to expand...


My fans are gone I'm wondering why I
Got on stream at all
Some dudes in Lisbon stole my man-purse
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be a-logs
Posting pictures on the Farms
They remind me, that you’re not my dad
You’re not my dad

Dear Jim, I DMed you but still ain't callin'
I left my discord, my hangout, and my skype name at the bottom
I sent two DMs back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem with my pig hooves or somethin'
Sometimes I type out usernames too sloppy when I’m drinkin’
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your cancer?
My girlfriend's pregnant man, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her?
I'ma name her O’Shaunessey
I read about your name change too, I'm sorry
I wouldn’t change my name my daddy gave me
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the one stream where you fingered Jem
I got a folder full of your videos and your pictures man
I like the shit you did on Channel Awesome too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Ralph

CHORUS

Dear Jim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me on stream
You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Pantsu
That's my girlfriend man, she's into six year olds
We waited in the blistering cold for you
For four hours and you just said, "lol."
That's pretty shitty man, you're like her fuckin' idol
She wants to be just like you man, she likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein' lied to
Remember during Gamergate, you said if I kept streaming you would come back
See I'm just like you in a way
I never liked The StepFather neither
Ronnie used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your streams
So when I have a shitty day, I pop some pills and have a drink
'Cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of IA across the chest
Sometimes I even shit myself to see how much it stinks
It's like adrenaline, the smell is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Jim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us comin’ up, you gotta call me man
I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Ralph
P.S. we should be together too

CHORUS

Dear Mister "I'm Too Good to Come on Stream and Save My Fans"...
This will be the last tweet I ever send your ass!
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it???
I know you got my last two DMs, I wrote the hangout links on 'em perfect! *hick*
Shhhooo... this is my death threat I'm sending you, I hope you read it.
I'm in my Nissan now, I'm doing 90 and on my way!
Hey Jim, I drank two bottles of Maker's!
I'm just so fucking sad!
You know the song by Da Gunt, "World's Best Dad"??
Clownin' me, my life and my dreams of seeing my son Xander...
That's what it should be like with you and me, this aint just banter!
You should have been there so they wouldn't call me "fatty"!
Now it's too late, and you'll never be my daddy!
And all I wanted was a lousy tweet or a call!
I hope you know I ripped all of your posters off the wall!
I love you Jim, we coulda been together, think about it!
You ruined it now, I hope your ass gets covid and you stream about it!
And when you stream I hope your headset breaks and you scream about it!
I hope your cancer eats at you and you dream about me!
See Jim... shut up May! I'm tryin' to holla!
Hey Jim, that's my woman countin' our last dollar.
We spent it all on gas, pills and a used .45! I hope you're ready to die...
I thought you were my father but it was all a fucking lie.
Well, gotta go, we're almost at your house now...
Oh shit, without Gator, how am I supposed to stream this shit out?

CHORUS

Dear Ralph, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for Evan
I wrote it on this 4-star cap
I'm sorry I went on Gator's stream, I must of missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to shit your pants too?
I say that shit just clownin' dog, come on, how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Ralph, I think you need some counseling
To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this Brokeback shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit will make me not want us to stream with each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Ralph
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and leaked his sextape on a stream
Of his girlfriend getting thumbed, and she was only 18
And in his truck they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was Ralph.. it was you
Damn!
 
Guntwave
[Intro]
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

[Verse]
Welcome Ethan Ralph
Come to me through Maker’s and pills
Ooh, ooh
Come, Ethan Ralph
Come and look upon the Farms, upon the Farms
Ooh
Lay down your bottle
It is not too late to be sober
Ooh, ooh
Come and look upon the Farms, upon the Farms
Ooh, ooh, ooh

[Chorus]
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
What a grand and intoxicating innocence
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
Shame on you, sweet Ethan Ralph

[Verse]
Welcome Ethan Ralph
Come to me through Maker’s and pills
Ooh, ooh
Come, Ethan Ralph
Come and look upon the Farms, upon the Farms
Ooh
Lay down your bottle
It is not too late to be sober
Ooh, ooh
Come and look upon the Farms, upon the Farms
Ooh, ooh, ooh
[Chorus]
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
What a grand and intoxicating innocence
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
Shame on you, sweet Ethan Ralph
I'm a troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll, troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll

[Bridge]
No Xanax or cheapest whisky can work in this place
There is no escape
No Xanax or cheapest whisky can work in this place
There is no escape
No Xanax or cheapest whisky can work in this place
There is no escape
No Xanax or cheapest whisky can work in this place
There is no escape

[Outro]
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
What a grand and intoxicating innocence
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
Shame on you, sweet Ethan Ralph
I'm a troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll, troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll
 
So I guess this is where I was supposed to post this originally.
Schmeated Ted said:
BPD and Xannyberries
Conceited with low self-esteem
He's an Alt-Right dream if you hate yourself
Premature gray hair and obnoxious clothes
Thinks grifting is the way to go
He's a pig, a hole, a never ending garbage dump

Raging mind and Whiskey glass
A thousand yard stare for all those guys
That he fucked over before you came along
Retarded views on politics
Likes to listen to shitty music
He drinks and smokes and tokes out of a dirty pipe

He saw the Joker
And felt so inspired
By a movie made
In Hollywood
It's sad to think he's getting a daughter
Like a lamb to the slaughter
But honestly I’ll still laugh because I could

BPD and Xannyberries
Thirty-six years old, but acts like he's sixteen
Likes to go to shows 'cause he's so fucking cool
Premature gray hair but dead inside
Alcoholic’s lifetime supply
He's a pig, a hole, drank since middle school

Only dumbasses in denial
Think he's anything worth while
His suicidal lifestyle will drive you wild
He's an alcoholic loser bitch
That likes to listen to shitty music
He drinks and smokes and tokes and chokes on dick

He saw the Joker
And felt so inspired
By a movie made
In Hollywood
It's sad to think he's getting a daughter
Like a lamb to the slaughter
But honestly I'll still laugh because I could

He saw the Joker
And felt so inspired
By a movie made
In Hollywood
It's sad to think he's getting a daughter
Like a lamb to the slaughter
But honestly I'll still laugh because I could
Click to expand...
 
I think it's an anthem for this subforum. I called it Guntboard Time
It's Guntboard Time,
C'mon grab your friends,
We'll go to very disgusting lands.
With Ralph the Gunt and
Null the Human,
The fun will never end,
It's Guntboard Time!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom