random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[DumbDude43]

Hence we circle back to the 'don't be a green retard' comment.

We all should "green retard maxx"

 

[Gentlebastard]

It really is niggers all the way down.

Turns out <Shit you don't want in your country> times <a different kind of shit you don't want in your country> = <The Speed Of Light> factorial

"Look at muh girl dick"
No, sir. That's just a dick.

thats the most cringe thing ive ever heard. of course i want to learn more

 

[Sawamura Simp]

What does the talmud say about my little pony?

Try reading a book for once that doesn't require crayons to finish, faggot.

We have been winning so hard that you flew right past "getting tired of winning" and right into "winning so hard that you're in denial about it."

How many times are you gonna repeat yourself? And is it gonna be with even more words the 4th time?

What a terrible day to own a thesaurus.

Spoiler: 4x Bonus

Malfoid brought Jim back to life (link)

Have you ever woken up one day and gotten a craving to get scammed by Asians for free?

I don't need to prove how much I want to eradicate international jewry to you.

Have fun tossing salad p.s. they're all going back

 

[PhoBingas]

Child targeting a British politician? Usually it's the other way around.

 

[Cancer Man Metokur]

Lumpy and dumpy...

NOW JUST IMAGINE HER FARTIN OUT OF IT

 

[Meat Target]

Ephebophilia is when a pedophile finds a thesaurus.

 

[Aunt Carol]

And I swear to God I had no idea those teeth were fake down on my dick.

How does a train loving boy scout from America's Heartland end up getting arrested for arranging a meet up with a minor for sex while wearing a diaper? At the ripe old age of 21?

If you're traveling to third world countries to have orgasms inside of women, don't come crying to me when some have a ball sack.

Indian twinks? Can you give an example?

A man with a video of him loudly taking a dump into a diaper and jerking off into it isn't ever going to live anything resembling a normal life.

so, in theory, maybe you could edit one of your "hobbies" to "big penis having" or something, idk

You can just start talking to the site's chatbot about how hard it is to have a big penis and a high IQ. No need to buy anything.

No information re: the shape of my buttocks.

Interrupting the current intelligent discussion of the finer points of communist theory to confirm that yes, there is in fact an early aughts porno(s) called Bong Water Butt Babes.

Q theory: Eva is an alien sent to Earth to destroy leftism from within with her horrible hot takes.

Woman in a field dominated by autistic men - 70% chance of being a troon.
Woman in IT - 90%
Woman in IT named “Alice” - 100%, 0 margin of error.

 

[Cnidarian]

Make a marketing pitch for steam locomotives that is as appealing as the pitch for AI. Some highlights I've imagined:

"Our trains' demand will make coal so expensive that poor families might have to choose between food or heat in the winter."
"Expect mass unemployment among coach riders, mailmen, lorries. We'll make them all obsolete."
"Honestly, we can't even tell how these engines are going to work. One might derail off the tracks and turn you into paste on the pavement, or maybe a boiler will blow up at a crowded station and tear apart dozens, if not hundreds of people with iron shrapnel."

 

[Meat Target]

Yeah sure lets let this snake-eyed psychopath inject acid into my dick. Bet he's a jew.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

I checked out of Hellraiser shortly after reading some of the comics and finding out that Cenobites bicker amongst themselves like literal teenagers and call each other "assholes." It's like, I can't imagine interacting with Chatterer and being like, wow, what an asshole.

Ol' uvula clit Becky got her lady bell hanging down like a stalactite so you don't have to worry about searching for it in all those folds with your tongue. You gonna be rubbing your erections together and she's gonna spray like a lawn sprinkler.

I'd like to invite the 50% of UK men confused on the location of the clitoris to the pooner thread, Ambiguity will be left at the door. Come, witness what hyenas have known for years.

Its like a neatly layered hamburger of malding, a full, well balanced meal of being mad with every bite.

Then i maybe reached peak gunk

I'd rather have CRT than LCD, simply because LCD just can't do black. Even the best LCDs at colour, VA, still can at best produce a dark blue. The actual best monitor technology is OLED. I can't go back to the pre-OLED era. I won't go back.

Guaranteed everybody involved in nigerian

That dude looks like every electrician in Sydney. Closet fags, half of them

Its the Ghost of Malpractice Past that's come for them

Yeah but can you make an award winning black forest gateau, croissants by hand, create decorative shortbread, or pipe icing into pretty pictures?

I can do all these. Except the icing part I fucking hate icing cakes.

Whenever someone says a killer or whatever was "Hung" I like to ask them "how do you know that?"
It makes everyone uncomfortable and reminds the person who said it they are stupid and foolish.

I worked at a gas station. I rigourously shook those bottles and I'm not sorry. I also used to hide the *take a penny leave a penny jar* because niggers don't understand the concept of "leave a penny"
And I'd hide swishers and say we were out even if we had a full box.
A gas station gig is pretty fun for a racist. Until a nigger pulls a gun

Sadly I can't post it because I deleted it because I didn't like seeing the thumbnail of a mostly-naked obese woman

if this was on the vtumor board i would be spamming your dogshit thread with nikacados asshole on 12 different ip's

Our cunt is your dickhead. Your cunt is our lad.

as she's been watching a bunch of the Hellraisers it dawned on me that between my wallet chain and jangly shit on my wallet chain I pretty much make Hellraisers Wandering Around ASMR all the time I'm wearing pants

Bro, Gibes can't be a human he has to be some type of Slaaneshian apparition because this is like the third or fourth completely insane underground hypno goon cult he's been involved with.
Like, nigga how are you always involved?!

And also I don’t actually watch videos, too much time consuming and me want the most cringe in the amount of time I spend here

This fanfic has hidden potential. It should keep it hidden.

 

[Gog & Magog]

If women were able to suck up eggs into their vaginas would they be able to derive any nutrition from that? @Trombonista pray tell

Absolutely not.

 

[I'm a Silly]

PLEASE DO NOT USE CHILDREN. GET A MIDGET INSTEAD.

 

[Meat Target]

attempting to integrate them with us would be like Jane Goodall domesticating gorillas or ending racial segregation.

 

[TheRetardKing]

I’m drunk AND browsing KF in traffic, you better watch out

 

[YellowIsACoolColor]

For those who are downvoting me, I could provide a better example of female muscle definition from yesteryear.

 

[San Marino]

he's unable to work and "has" to make his living off of making a lolicon porn mod

 

[Dante Alighieri]

I think I hallucinated the diaper tbh

I have defamed and dead named Dave

 

[Gentlebastard]

If you don't have a pig on your speed dial, you are the pig on someone else's speed dial.

Midwits are the great filter and the explanation for the Fermi Paradox.

People fuck (and pay for it, and record it now that they can), and there's no stopping it without just killing literally everyone, and at least one person's going to object to that and at least try to stop you killing them.

I think he doesn't change his number because deep down he loves the attention. Like genuinely, to him this means people give a shit about him and his life in a way nobody else ever did - not his parents, not his wives, not the people who read his books...it's just him and his trolls now.

Holy shit that's bleak.

 

[popsoda]

"To the spoils goes the victor"

From:

Tubby is slowly walking toward a visit from the cops. Below is a post I just found on his YT channel.

edit: https://archive.is/0PuK1

Are the grammatical errors part of Mohammed's original post? Also, is there a reason Null should fear a guy who gets basic phrases like "to the victor go the spoils" backwards? And how did he even do that? That's an impressive bit of stupidity right there.

 

[Hecate]

On a side note, people who hate anime are fags. Anime is a based and enlightened art-form because it depicts an idealized world where there's no fat women and everyone is white.

You know I'm right.