random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Smithfield Ham]

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let the light in.

 

[Meat Target]

Dear Diary

Today, I learned a new slur.

 

[The Nothingness]

Everything is fake and gay, the internet is India, its a low trust society.

 

[Rozzy]

I want to ejaculate all over those sexy dolls for men and then hope they're all pregnant with my future half robot children! Also, what the fuck is a transformer? Some kinda trans woman that has a pussy shaped dick?

 

[RomanianSchizo]

"For the McRib and soggy fries,
for supersized combos and the dollar menu
for obesity and deathfat,
till heart disease do us part."

They've seen Hamlet already... but have they seen Hamlet in the future with midgets?

 

[Pedophobe]

Join me on my anal stretching journey.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Please disregard all my posts in the Man Hate thread, I'm just tsundere uwu

This shit boring where is the porn

The Kiwifarms will be cleansed of the epileptic Untermensch by tomorrow Herr Crunk. Genius execution!

DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME

Hey now, don't make me turn this rape into a murder.

 

[Audit]

Note: I tried to go to this noahwaybabes' profile and my eyes were immediately assaulted by cuntboy porn

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

they need to draw Kanga from Winnie the pooh with a 4 foot erection over anything of substance.

Yes you sad sack depressoid.
"At all" is harder than your current level of trying which is "fuck all".

Makes sure you can see the dandling lady dick...

 

[You Can't Un'Ape The Doe]

As a Child who was raped by his own father,

 

[Gentlebastard]

Her: Look at me what do you see.
Me: One Ugly Bitch.

Oh no, the fags banned me from their bug chasing party

maybe he'd have a nicer midlife-crisis-mobile if he had a job

He will lie so hilariously shamelessly, close to 40 not even sure if he has a place or living in car, black listed by half the city of sin..

And he chooses to lie about going to college for a bachelor's.

This is his core character flaw, he's been like this all his life. He puts extra effort into every interaction to come across as a huge asshole. No one knows why. It probably has its roots in early childhood, or maybe Mama Raven's leaded breastmilk.

Imagine being so homosexual you become physically ill from touching a boob.

I hope it blows up. Everybody involved is an asshole and no matter how it goes it'll be really fucking funny.

I feel like this is a candidate for the Current Year terms that piss you off thread, but I gotta know what it means first so that I can be properly pissed off about it.

He knows what he is. In the moments after jolting awake because of his sleep apnea and dropping blood alcohol levels, he knows. The most terrifying time for Rick is the time between then and clutching at his phone to start childing stalkers at 4am. That makes the bad thoughts go away.

 

[Larry Trainor]

I want to throw stinky food at these people. I want to take away their retard porn. I want them digging the earth for the cure for autism

 

[Chocolate Starfish]

"Dad! Look! All these total strangers on the internet agree with me!"

Girl, I don't think you're in a position to judge anyone's leakage, if ya get what I'm sayin'.

Bilbo Baggins isn't going to beat you to death

Native Americans born after 1996 can't scalp their enemies.

All they know is eat fry bread, take 23-&-Me test, confuse the wetchuge with the wendigo, sell bead bracelets on Etsy, be two-spirit, and LIE.

Maybe I'm weird, but I rarely, if ever, think about Welper soaking his dick in some Mormon vagene. Is something wrong with me? Should I be visualizing this more often?

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

profile post

this may be a surprise to a Touhou fan but anime can teach lessons that aren't about how great looking at drawings of little girls are. sometimes they can teach wholesome lessons like my enemies are evil and deserve death

The autism singularity that would've created would've been legendary.

those poor autists

You’re not a based tradcath crusader or a Nazi general. You’re some fag on a site for bullying trannies.

 

[Jang Joo]

@Hollywood Hulk Hogan what do you think about EDP's certified real niggas™ list

 

[Autistic Joe]

There is nothing gayer than talking about another man's dick. I don't make the rules. And because I posted in this thread, now I am gay. Thanks a lot.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I have said this before, but if you have had any real hands- (or mouth or whtaever)-on contact with opposite sex genitals you won't think "it would probably be easy to make me this exact thing surgically".

 

[Drip Torch]

I have had many high pressure pisses with a raging erection. Your flow is weak.

 

[Autistic Joe]

Andy [Warski] would have banged the Tarl harem for the love of the game. Horrible comparison.

Andy would have joined the harem.

 

[InstituteCutie 2415]

After Andy consumed this, I bet he cries "you're hurting my ears" at himself because his sharts are so loud.