random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

I knew a nepali guy, he invited me to his country but said I can't dress how I do normally cause I'll get raped. Didn't go obviously, but at least he was kinda honest about his people.

Being "media literate" is just code for making Confirmation Bias your entire worldview.

I only heard It from a zoomer, granted he was French and Canadian so he was triple retarded.

Please do not make me feel worse in any way using information about this person. I do not consent.

Christ is a Dr Pepper fan and would eternally damn you for giving Him a coke.

"How can we begin to miss you when you won't go away?"

I'm just salty because his tits are actually bigger than mine.

May God forgive me for speaking positively of them, but the Romanians are more deserving of kebab-removing praise than the Serbs.

'We are being stalked by a clinically obsessed cyber cult. We are in fear for our lives, so here are various easily identifiable shots of our home.'

>backwards baseball cap
I wanna punch this nigga so hard that he lands back in 1991.

You could drop them off in skid row and they would need peer reviewed studies to tell them homelessness and drug use are present.

In the very first moments it's unclear who is stealing and who is intervening and with the innocence of the buddha I had hoped things were not as I assumed.

But they were exactly thus.

Describe the smell. Be precise.

 

[Ghostface Killah]

This even get updated ever?

 

[frozen_runner]

most of these people are just upset their hypercock furry futa smut is being colonized instead of small batch.

My only regret is that the troon was not pepper sprayed.

This is extremely niggerly and makes you sound very fucking brown.

Public burning is the liberal humanist solution.

I'm not willing to Google it but do they make anime girl panties capable of supporting 500 pounds worth of autistic retard?

Aye you that faggot nigga. You that gay nigga. Other team nigga. You that walkin funny nigga. You that other side of the street nigga. You that special nigga. Flower nigga. You be that zesty nigga. You that nigga that likes pipe type of nigga. That fruit nigga. You that downtown type nigga. That uptown nigga. Baseball bat nigga. Backroom nigga. Been all around town nigga. Down low nigga. Yeah. You that fresh type nigga. That talent scout nigga. Aint from round here type nigga. Nigga type nigga. Round the block nigga. Backstreet boys style nigga. Yeah. I knows you. Church basement nigga. Catholic school nigga. Bathroom stall nigga. Ayo. This nigga gay as hell.

Yeah. Well. AI can't do 8 hours of work in 4, then proceed to nap in its my car or hit on coworkers the rest of the day.

Nigger. I love you.

@Dumbnigger69 get in here it's brony 9/11 all over again

the newgrounds curse strikes again

In my perfect country, you're not allowed to vote unless you can make a perfect grilled cheese. Niggers that don't darken the bread enough will be fed to lions.

i support foid rights

women hate sickos and that's cool

Methed out gay sex hammer party?

"Go-Go Gadget Deodorizing Spray!"
[A FEW MOMENTS LATER]
"It's not working, Uncle Gadget! I can still smell curry, anise, and shit!"

Immediate and maximum extermination is required.

 

[Golden Apple]

Her vagina could make your dick look like it picked the wrong Holy Grail.

They're already lower than tits on a snake.

 

[Mamimi]

Asexual sounds better than Toaster Fucker International, just like MENSA sounds better than Failson Puzzle Solvers Extreme.

 

[Meat Target]

What is the going rate on lab-grown Aryan big booty latinas?

 

[Dr. Butt]

Give me stickers all you like. That's gay.

Can you imagine how few problems Kiwi Farms would have if Null were black.

 

[Spot 'em Slot 'em]

Radiohead is Coldplay for people that sat on their balls so hard it changed their life.

 

[Egress]

Indian rights are human wrongs

 

[Dr. Butt]

LMAO HE ACTUALLY THINKS HE HAS A GSPOT. LMAO HE THINKS HIS MANGLED LITTLE PIECE OF DICKHEAD IS A CLITORIS. LMAO HE THINKS HIS TITTY SKITTLES AND GETTING HIS BALLS CUT OFF AREN'T WITHERING HIS PROSTATE.

 

[mr. testicular torsion]

So, I'm doing what I'm going to get this month Alfred Alfer rapping me with a ketchup bottle. In the way of a pop stick

 

[Aunt Carol]

My "this office chair claimed by a MASSIVE FAGGOT" post it note didn't reserve this abandoned chair for 3 business days like I assumed it would.

'we' ? you're not American.
'we' ? you're not American.
'we' ? you're not American
'we' ? You're not American
'we' ? you're not American
'we' ? you're not even American

 

[Pedophobe]

The second episode of Clerks the Animated series is one of the greatest episodes of TV to ever air.

I'm too sober to react right now.

Also, stop rating me islamic assholes. I am not a muslim.

 

[Pedophobe]

This even get updated ever?

Once in the last few years but it was all lolcows quotes, no homegrown madness.

It's just for our own autistic entertainment really.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I highly recommend a Google image search for "dog making a stupid face".

Don't forget to send all your cheese directly to Josh's house. It helps more than money to keep the site alive.

Well I mean it's a kinda regular occurrence that someone jumps in and says some absolutely vapid nonsense and leaves. The only difference is this nigga doesn't do the last part.

This thread is populated by high trust White people. We take each other at our word. Lower standards are for subhuman swarthoids.

Using no need for moonrunes, just relying on pure racism, I can tell you it shows giving money to poor nigger babies convinces their parents to make more babies so they can get more gibs.

Ah, racism, the universal language!

 

[JackingOffGeorgeLucas]

So the moral is "don't be a k-pop fan or you'll kill yourself" right?

She had the filter on when she actually hung herself too lmao

When will they enact some sensible K-Pop laws. This violence is untenable.

They only continue to exist by stitching together dead koreans that committed suicide into new koreans.

kpopstar heads sewn to multiple sets of hands like a human spider scurrying down the street to the plastic surgeon to compete with the other severed body part monsters

hold on, let me pick out a cute filter for my suicide announcement... ribbon cheeks? ok cool

 

[RomanianSchizo]

That statement has condemned you to a karmic debt and will result in you being reborn as a horse in your next life—one that will be ridden and then turned into a delicious meal.

Really fucked up when Japanese Ninjas flip out and just start killing black people like YEEEEART! they kick one nigga-san's head off and then the rest of the Nigga-sans are like "Oh no you didn't" and open up with their modified full auto 2nd amendment promoting glizzies and then the ninja just dodges all the bullets and shouts YEEEART! and punches a nigga-san and then AAAARGH! the nigga-san explodes into flames Namu-Amida-Butsu…Oh my Buddha. What is going on? YEEART! AAAARGH! he does it again dodging the bullets and exploding another nigga-san and the violence is HORRENDOUS and really needs to stop.

KIWIFARMS EXCLUSIVE

A PHOTO OF JOHN GOODMAN SHITTING OUT 200 EXTRA POUNDS OF BODY WEIGHT HE DID NOT NEED

This isn't 'Nam. There are rules here.

He looks like his mom drank some of that soviet airplane ethanol runoff while pregnant.

I hate that phrase and have murdered 12 people who used it in my presence.

 

[Laburnum]

Dev is still having trouble getting people to play WoW with him.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Do I really have to share highways with retards who bid on the sun

 

[souschef]

tucker interviews and covers for a member of the epstein class and you accuse me of sending dick pics to a woman who hates men and loves bugs