random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Dr. Butt]

Can confirm. It was very fucking gay.

 

[JustSomeDong]

are you gonna 360 no scope the janny?
(For the record I am not endorsing the murder of a moderator. I unequivocally do not condone violence)

All your big correctly spelled words dont impress me, I have a vibe about this and I wont be persuaded with "facts"

 

[Aunt Carol]

literally every time I go to powells there's someone pooping outside

everyone who remotely criticizes me for any reason fucks children

you're all retarded I wish I could enslave you

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

What the fuck kind of pussyass bitch nuts in a burrito and gets scared to ask for a refund? A real goddamn American busts nut in his burrito, demands to speak to the manager makes direct eye contact, says " I nutted in this. Its what I do. Give me two more for free or I sue you for not telling me to not nut in it.", takes his two free burritos, finds a homeless guy, stares at the homeless guy, and eats one burrito while fucking the other right in front of him. Then goes back and starts the cycle anew with the manager.

Infinite free burrito and cum generator.

"Doctor, we're going to need to reach the heart through the anus."
"Nurse, horsecock, stat"

I mean this chick could just eat a few extra kebabs and no one would know she wasn't a regular Scottish woman until they found out she didn't have a penis.

 

[Drip Torch]

Rome wasn't built in a day and tard wrangling is an art.

 

[Law]

I just decided 30 seconds ago that you have the huguli buguli disease that causes you to disagree with me so I am going to prescribe ramming my dick in your ass as treatment and you don't get to say no because your horrible condition prevents you from realizing you need it.

 

[gagabobo1997]

Everyone that said I was a retard for going to grocery stores and looking for spare change in the coin stars can GET FUCKED.

 

[Meat Target]

Don't look into that any further, you're better off leaving this stuff to already damned souls like mine.

"You have a stiffy, Misses Grinch...."

 

[Cnidarian]

Unless you have the sexual prowess of a porn star, BUT also a body count of zero, you ain't ever gunna be picked sweaty...

 

[Mister Mint]

I think they called him Sex Anus for short

RIP Cats, I think this is an appropriate tribute.

 

[CallmeCicada]

Hot lesbians should beat me up, tbh.

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

A top surgery would have you end up with 3 Patricks, and each of them would have boobs!

 

[Man In A Dress]

EVERYONE KNOWS THAT A THREE HUNDRED YEAR OLD ELF IS AN ADULT. STOP FOLLOWING KIWIFARMS. THEY ARE MORONIC FOOLS WHO DO NOT RESEARCH ROLEPLAYING!
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT A THREE HUNDRED YEAR OLD ELF IS AN ADULT. STOP FOLLOWING KIWIFARMS. THEY ARE MORONIC FOOLS WHO DO NOT RESEARCH ROLEPLAYING!

 

[Pedophobe]

Megaclits for the content farm. Emojis for the pink glitter throne.

I'm so glad to have found other mentally ill teenage boys. Now I can grow up to be based and retarded.

Back in my day we had crips versus bloods in prison, now it's furries versus scalies.

Not everything is a retarded ZOG conspiracy.

everyone who remotely criticizes me for any reason fucks children

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I will never be able to look at ATHF the same way when I watch it because of this autist

Everybody I see complaining about this seems to be allergic to putting their penis in a woman.

Libnigs want you to stick your dick in everything for every reason except for procreation.

Well mea culpa. I'm the retard making the retards even more retarded. My bad!

The only thing Drew DeVault ever contributes to is to a growing list of reasons to hate Drew DeVault.

Separated for emphasis:

Not every autistic retard is a lolcow, son, there needs to be something funny.

If we made a thread about every single autistic retard we found on the internet, we'd make threads about more than half the internet and still catch some of our users in the crossfire.

 

[Meat Target]

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the breaking of the buck!
We bent 'em over, spread their legs, an' had ourselves a fuck!
We brought their wives an' nigglets out to see their daddy suck,
The white man's gonna CUUUUUUUUUM!!!

 

[DickMain]

oh god, the kiwiautists are breeding.

riding a motorpickle with your dillybobber danglin free

 

[Gentlebastard]

I read the first chapter and a half. I am not aware of any work of fiction that has featured a worse two sentence opening.

I know I have said this a thousand fucking times already but the fact he chooses to live like this and inflict this perpetual seething misery upon himself for the sake of his own fattened ego is something that will always astound me.

I use the objectively worse mode to spite a person whose name Ive forgotten

Im not your run of the mill retard

Aw sweet, nigger baphomet!

Every economically backwards place should have a subreddit because sometimes the funniest shit happens there that I would never otherwise hear of.

a very delicate puzzle: how does one use suicide to manipulate your parents without having it recognized that what you're doing is using suicide to manipulate your parents?

All your big correctly spelled words dont impress me, I have a vibe about this and I wont be persuaded with "facts"

Life hack: you can avoid arrest by telling the police they’re not allowed to arrest you

 

[demicolon]

Columbine had LORE.

 

[Shlomo XL]

You are so beautiful… let me have fuck with you baby.

Shakespeare wept.