random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Hepativore]

Anybody got any ideas for how to pee?

 

[San Marino]

I agree, it is weird for you to admit to burping jizz in a fursuit, let alone to broadcast it as boldly as you do, but I'm not sure this thread is the right venue for your confessional.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

i would rather let 50 get groomed because of roblox then give my id to some foreign company so i can talk in roblox

 

[Xarpho's Return]

When I was a little kid I used to think Alton Brown and Adam Savage from Mythbusters were the same guy.

Did you just call my children niggers?

If he was at the back of the warehouse, in an aisle full of Christian rock CDs, it could have been weeks.

 

[assigned Karen at birth]

The only other MtF troon I know is this psycho AGP that bit me, tried to stab me with a pencil in middle school, and ate bird shit off the ground so he could try to turn into Muk from Pokémon.

letting women post here was a mistake, now I've got an erection

I mean, you're the one cutting your dick off, were just a bunch of random people on the internet, not cutting our dicks off.

“I finally pooped, which was scary”

The most rewarding and wonderful part of my life has been my marriage. Also in my experience most white women, and even Hispanics are more racist than you would expect.

It's easy being smart and not imagining every person I learn about sucking a dick. Listen and learn, pervert.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

I'm sure that filling someone's vagina with a non-Newtonian fluid will have no downsides whatsoever.

You can either be a country that calls soccer football, or be a country that has landed men on the moon.

 

[demicolon]

 

[CallmeCicada]

I was thinking about a potential contest in which each uncircumcised person could have their foreskin held by close pins then stretched until they snapped, and the last one to snap would be the winner. I'm not saying I would win, but you have some "Stiff" competition. I would win tho, I'm the winner.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I used to wonder who was stupid enough to pay for porn. I no longer wonder that.

It's even funnier if you know his "rear patio" is not only cluttered with single-use grills and smokers visible from space, but is wheelchair-inaccessible to him (and he "designed" it this way after his fourth stroke).

Update on this guy. He turns out to have been addicted to gas station drugs for the past five years

there's just something about him replying to a picture of a cock and telling it to enjoy prison that sends my sides up to the ISS.

Did you just call my children niggers?

We're his White Whale and he sees us everywhere.

Errrrrrrrrrrrm If I saw someone with a skull tattoo I'd assume they're a neo-nazi so this is a big yikesky wikesky from me". (They actually said this unironically)

He has always been spiritually fat.

The obscene amount of health complications these people put themselves through is absolutely bananas, but always topping it off with their "No regrets!!!" mantra is so funny.

 

[Big Nasty]

Even when she was slim she was still fucking fat.

Abandon all hope all ye who enter this accursed anus

 

[a kiwifarms user]

God of this universe is some gay retarded theater kid.

View attachment 8255542

 

[Blasterisk]

i support legal prostitution because it keeps you women safe, not to give bill the wife cheater a chance to get his socks off

[sic]

 

[obsdj]

The Breast Prince of Welfaire

 

[2SLGBQTIA+ 2 Furious]

James Acaster needs a public identity that isn't 70 year old Mr Bean stole my fiancee.

He cannot let go because then he'll be Cuckolded by Bean again

 

[Artificial Stupidity]

View attachment 8256407

Tickle tickle

Ok I know it's an image but it's worth it.

Post in thread 'Greer v. Moon, No. 20-cv-00647 (D. Utah Sep. 16, 2020)'

Dec 6, 2025

• StinkySnack

Reactions: x 18 x 7 x 7 x 3 x 1 x 2 x 1 x 1 x 1 x 61

 

[indomitable snowman]

The canadian government hates canadians so much, it won't even have quotes for whores anymore!

"Shoot your hot maple syrup all over my tits, eh!"
"I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothing, but I think Rush is pretty hot, eh!"

A great step forward for anarcho tyranny. Very cool

Advocating for Hoppean politics isn't fed posting.

That's the beauty of having the freedom to say nigger, it means you can also choose not to.

oh fuck i forgot i'm canadian

I know this doesn't count for much but it definitely happened. I saw it with my own two eyes. A large man with a distinct canadian accent drove by ringing a triangle for some reason as he screamed "RETARD ALERT!" very loudly while his driver screamed in a hoarse voice "WOAHHHH BUDDY!". Very disturbing honestly.

When I approached them and asked what they were doing they just said that they might be lost and that they had been searching through the woods for a "mashed potato". Downright peculiar.

 

[Laburnum]

But as I grew older, I developed interests that were more appropriate for my age. I started watching more mature shows and movies, and I stopped buying SpongeBob clothes.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

But I guess she’s queer despite drinking billionaire penis being one of the straightest woman things I can think of.

 

[Gog & Magog]

I suck my husbands dick and he seems to enjoy it.

 

[Cnidarian]

Gambling is one of the most vile vices imaginable, because unlike, drugs, alcohol and hedonism, the destruction iterates across time and hurts the people who haven't even been born yet.

As soon as I understood the weakness of my flesh I realized that I will need to build a machine to rape the machine.