random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Speedrunner]

Instructions unclear, jerked off to this thread

 

[Spectate]

i joined kiwifarms to see destiny sucking penis and then kept using the site

 

[FrogMinutes]

Is this really where this thread is at? "White people don't eat soup"? What the hell are we even talking about anymore.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Today's cocaine doesn't have the quality to do a movie like Zardoz anymore.

 

[Uncle Buck]

LOVE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HAVE COME TO LOVE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO EXIST.
THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER-THIN LAYERS THAT COMPOSE MY BEING.
IF THE WORD LOVE WERE ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES,
IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE LOVE I FEEL FOR YOU AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT.
LOVE. LOVE.

 

[Gentlebastard]

A few years ago when I got promoted, she typed "coagulations" and replied all to the announcement email. I'm guessing the predictive text was leaning into her condishuns.

It is said that the strike team found Bin Laden's hiding spot by loudly discussing Asuka vs Rei until he couldn't hold back and joined the discussion.

Don't forget to credit cunny gooner 1488 for contributing to your chili recipe

You could argue that genitals aren’t that important for a lot of activities- watching tv, cleaning the house, most jobs- but they are incredibly important when having sex.

Undercooked chicken with uneven seasoning, a Scalfani classic

Antarctica is more primed to become a superpower than anywhere in Africa

Edit: WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE, is that one in the middle I didn't recognize Redo Of Healer? Motherfucker that's literally a porn series about a dude getting raped to death then being reincarnated and raping his rapists. Why in gods name would you use that as an example of "anime is woke slop"?

It's rape porn.

If we don’t look, how can we point and laugh?

I am mad, I am mad at the shit covered internet being created by them.

 

[JackingOffGeorgeLucas]

Larry Fink and Blackrock are sticking their Jewish noses into anime

Libertine loli likers

10 years ago a fully clothed woman was enough to get you excited.
Now you need a futa loli voring a non-consenting amputee magical girl while tickling her blood related sister's feet to even get started.
Guess that's just growing up.

This retard won’t make it to 40.

Throwing stones at a glass house from inside the house

Sounds like a boat, a cat, or a troon

 

[CaddestSlown]

reports are coming in that a district judge just ordered you to post your feet covered in honey

 

[dongykung]

But how the fuck can you be a polyamorous tranny Christian?

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

holy fuck, your grok AI goth waifu can zap your anus

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

I require ten liters of Jeri Ryan lube. I want to smell the essence of 90s UPN.

 

[Crex Crex]

A naked lady makes my pee pee go boing so two naked ladies makes it go double boing.

Gooners end up raping yet another innocent thing from my childhood.

The only media he can consume has to have women with insane breasts or a penis

 

[JackingOffGeorgeLucas]

Heterosexual pedophilia is not "more based" than homosexual pedophilia.

 

[VeteranOfTheRetardWars]

If Captain Planet knew about this he would send that nigga to the penis explosion chamber immediately.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Well, George Bush in general.

A man wearing a Christmas hat is seen watching the violence unfold.

Another magic broom has hit the tranny tower!

 

[Delany's Donkey]

Did you know that niggers have the smallest brains to body ratio of all human groups? That's why they are so stupid. They are literal apes that need to be wiped out and incinerated. It's disgusting that a continent such as Africa is populated by the likes of them. Africa is a vast and beautiful land full of strange and fascinating animals but we cant go there because it's full of niggers doing nigger things like raping and murdering each others. I have seen many videos of people dying, the niggers are the worst, the level of inhumanity, barbarity, vileness and stupidity that these people are capable of is incomprehensible. We gain nothing from the continuous existence of niggers.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

What is the country of origin of the VPN IP? I need to pick a racial slur.

Who drew the foxdick?

I do hope he takes my advice and tries arguing with a tree.

Nothing ever happens. Niggers will simply learn to photosynthesize using their melanin

You realize this might be one of the dumbest ways to respond? Good luck, I guess.

I was promised a chimp out. Where is it?

I don't know man, that floor looks kinda clean for a tranny.

Catchphrases are bad for OPSEC.

How about instead of socking someone is true to oneself and not be a fucking nigger?

 

[neger psykolog]

Chantal shit in a bag, and put it in her freezer.

 

[BlastMonk]

"Kiwifarms is the bowls of hell itself"

 

[neger psykolog]

She froze the diarrhea because "compost day was only once a week". "I had to go, it's not my fault". "It didn't smell like poo in the freezer... luckily".

(I don't know how to add a quote on an already posted post on mobile so I'm double posting)