random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Oh!]

Okaysuds @StudMccool your a complete faggot and DONSLD JOHN Trump as snMASTER FUCJIJG CHIEF OWMS YOU NIGGER!!!! HahahahaHshaha Ian’s all seriousns ily bro I fucked with dh tartaaria so hard man.keep posritng

 

[neger psykolog]

Kelly eats fried chicken before bed. This is neither here nor there, but it's gross and deserves mention. This is to keep her blood sugar stable (according to Kelly).

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

Her downstairs anatomy is confusing.

 

[Dr. Butt]

You know, faded, rumpled, stained, threadbare. Not your "Going to Walmart" nice PJs.

 

[Namekian George Floyd]

Fuck them niggers and their EBT, cut my taxes, and cut housing aid so I can afford rent.
All niggers of any race who don't work should starve. Especially the niggers who keep fucking niggers and have multiple niglets. Those niggers should be thrown in a nigger pit.
Fuck you nigger lovers too, all my real whiteys hate niggers.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

I hate niggers I hate niggers I hate niggers and I'm going to visit Grandma tomorrow

niggers are truly horrifying to have in your society, but at least math is fun!

I just want to imagine what people could use as a makeshift "brig" on an airplane. Put them in a doggy carrier in the cargo bay. Wrap them in duct tape and shove them in the overhead bins. Cordon off the bathroom and make them sit on the toilet until the plane lands. Have the stewardess wad them up and put them underneath the snack cart

the man you don't want to try to pull the race card with because he doesn't even have a card processing terminal

is murder a reasonable response? i think so

I disregard anything this woman says based on her choice of instant noodles.

carjackarinos

MySpace was peak social media for this reason. Also, you could blue screen people with malicious code when they clicked on your profile

$0 for advertisers, priceless for Null's Cheese Slush Fund.

 

[Dr. Butt]

It's MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'AAAM

 

[Chickenpolar]

This is the equivalent of a white lawyer wanting to call a Black defendant the N word in court.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I'd like uuuuuh one pain au chocolate and one pain towards chocolate people

Alleged author fails to distinguish between your and you're, again.

You can tell a client they're being retarded but you have to phrase it professionally.

Black dudes aren't psychopomps, sorry 'bout that.

I hope it is built! I hope it stands for a thousand years! I want the people of Chicago to look at this abortion for the rest of their natural lives and think... Damn. This is what represents my soul. This is who we are! A Fucking concrete commie block dropped from space by non humans to dominate the good green earth with grey, boring, imposing, monolithic bullshit.

Everything he endures, he caused and deserves.

 

[Aunt Carol]

You niggers need to get jobs..and secretly post on Kiwi farms all day long.

I hate to be the one to break it to you, nigger, but sucking cocks isn't a trade. It's unskilled labor.

Am I just a retard who can’t into vaginas?

I know that feeling all too well (not the drinking from the toilet part).

 

[Dr. Butt]

Why is she puking blood on the ghost?

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Nigger you're no fucking linebacker. You look more like the football itself rather than anyone playing.

Do your worst, buggered butter knife catamite.

 

[Dr. Butt]

The beef tax policy in Argentina is as relevant to a first-world citizen as buttsex in Botswana is.

 

[Spud]

sneaking into the ladies' room at work to jack off just doesn't hit like it used to now that it's stunning & brave

 

[JackingOffGeorgeLucas]

a polyamorous relationship between two grown men LARPing as 3 year old girls shitting in diapers and another grown man LARPing as an adult woman calling himself their mommy and changing said diapers.

 

[indomitable snowman]

If your response to incoming traffic at an intersection on your bike is to speed up then you deserve to get hit by a car

If you refer to an electric bike as a "white stallion", not only do you deserve to get plowed into by a bus but said bus should reverse and pull forward a few times to flatten your faggot ass into a patty on the asphalt.

Josh Moon is a STARVER and he LOVES his THIN BITCHES, legends say he wont fuck you if you dont resemble an skyrim draugr.

Crush cyclists.
Splash cyclists' face onto the concrete
Block bike parking with heavy trashcans
Put landmines in bike lanes
Make sure to hit cyclists with your door
Take turns tight to make sure you knock down cyclists
Reverse into cyclists at a red light
Piss on bike handles
Shit in a cyclists helmet

It's your civic duty

Yes the last 4 years have felt like Halo 2, ngl. The writing was so fucking good in that game

 

[Dr. Butt]

Congratulations. You just have two assholes now.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Calling your wife a "dork semen dumpster" seems like a RISKY FUCKIN MOVE for any man who wants to stay living.

@OG Cryptid

 

[Dr. Butt]

Remember this: monkeys with the smallest balls howl the loudest.

 

[CansOfCant]

my coworkers were confused about me calling my vagina the "og jewish tunnel" so they went to HR for clarification