random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

i have actually never been in a thread where kiwifarmers struggle to clock a tranny

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

And I know for a fact ON SIGHT he has lil helmet on his dick

A better criticism of Pacman would be that so far as I know it's exclusively used for Arch and I am not an anime-obsessed twink in cat ears

pussy jumscares

And if you transformed into McDonalds wouldn't someone just eat you? That's grim

I tried looking up property records to show how there's no way that many people could fit inside a typical club and now I'm in jail

Is it possible for a human impregnate a chimp? I’d look it up myself, but I’m not sure I want that search on my computer.

but a cat is already perfect for what it needs to do, no need to change except maybe make it larger for anti-personnel use

I’m not entirely sure why, since the last time I checked POC havent grown any extra body parts that would preclude fitting into a sweater but there we go

I'm white enough to own a flute and harmonica

adolf fucking hitler can come out of the grave and use your gpl or cc-by work and can drink liberal tears because they can't do anything about it if he complies with the license.

XKreeper wants the whole world to know he's superior in every way because he watches rimming, fisting and double-fisting online and calls it "love."

you sure are
fixated on that penis

You think some sort of Christ came, but no, it was fucking crumbl of all things

APOIDIC NIGERS, INTERBREEDABLE WITH APES HAD NO ALPHABET, NOT EVEN NUMERALS

Stupid fucking polar bear, average French soy cunt.

Or maybe it was always a white guy thing, I don't really know, I have a good relationship with my parents.

That's also my problem with Brussels sprouts, my least favorite cruciferous, except it's vastly more pronounced with sprouts, also my preferred ethnic slur for Belgians

Some time back there was this news story about junkie, of teen stabber killer fame, being on trial again for some stabbedy stabbing

I’ll decide what’s a blackpill and what’s just your seasonal depression talking.

No one wants them but GW doesn't dare say "but dwarves are male" because the second they did people would say mean things on bluesky and make their social media troll cry, and a crying social media troll won't give you a handjob in the bathroom for being a good boy

Where is this? Brawltimore?

You laugh but I have talked about the history of Chris on multiple first dates... I now realize it was a bad idea

No window i'm in a secure facility at least there is a mirror in every bathroom so i can look at myself with despair.

I think the problem with most depictions of san francisco is the idea that it's some sort of gender neutral paradise and not a place where latino kids write "here niggas" on the receipt if you're black.

Just make the beautiful princess at the end of the movie a trap. Like Dragon's Lair, but with a penis.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Was watching a quantum physics doc last night and the guy was talking about anti-symmetric fermions. Bro they're fucking particles, how can they hate Jews?

Damn. That woman has a lot of penises inside of her.

I admit, it’s a long shot, but even Ralph gets laid. If there are women out there willing to fuck a three tited rage hog, there’s hope for everyone.

I pray that some hungry crabs chew through the cables providing Internet to that cesspool and that their smog becomes so dense it blocks out all wireless communication.

Rated R for Retarded.

Oh no. She showed him some attention. That poor girl.

D+ see me after class, too coherent to be a schizopost but too dumb to be a worthwhile thread contribution.

please do freeball through TSA while wearing loose fitted clothing. Really make them uncomfortable.

Geeks that have played too much Sim City are dangerous things to turn loose in public.

Looks like he’s having ChatGPT write his thirst cringe as well.

Maybe I... I should get out more

God, every time I check back on this thread, it is ALWAYS about piss.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Idk how to change attribution on a quote but two of my favourites from lolcows

You're career and job is the airplanes

- Baron Tremayne Caple aka rainbow man

I have filed a report on Gavin Acorn to the National Pornography Rights ombudsman, and all that.

Who are u calling a sexy little cone kong

- a Steven Dawson troll and the man himself respectively.

 

[obsdj]

Man I hope the quotes get updated again soon. The current rotation has a lot of boring, not even funny shit in it.

 

[Jhonson the Two]

do they picture the vulva as some rotating gardens sprinkler spraying piss everywhere if lifted 0,0002 millimeters above the toilet seat?

God, every time I check back on this thread, it is ALWAYS about piss.

 

[Cryogonal2]

If your first reaction to the phrase "BBC" in a situation with zero sexual implications is to think "Ah yes, she's talking about Black Cock!", you should remove yourself from the genepool as soon as possible.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

This nigger cranked it to a pooner. Confiscate his nervous system.

 

[Tablet County]

"now that you're convinced media can be dangerous, how do you like my plan to go back in time and kill Tolkien as a baby so that Elf Otherkin stop existing?"

 

[Sooty Soot]

all of my nightmares revolve around ordering food and not getting it, and I always wake up pissed off.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Please stay in your lane on calling retards with Anime Derangement Syndrome out and don't dabble into real life molestation again.

 

[Tablet County]

This nigger cranked it to a pooner. Confiscate his nervous system.

 

[Lurkey Turkey]

Primitive humans in the 1960's didn't know about lulz.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Damn. That woman has a lot of penises inside of her.

"Penis people" lmao.

no one wants to see a gay Arab man when they order Scooby doo branded hot dogs and lasagna

Everyone involved in this story is deluded at multiple levels.

What the fuck with this incest shit? There's nobody related to me that I'd ever fuck or even want to.

What people find popular has confused me since I was in elementary school.

 

[Zoosadist sadist]

I get yelled at by a bunch of screennager iPad babies who are 38 years old.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Those transcend Problem Glasses to enter the realm of the mythical Incident Glasses. I personally thought them only a legend, but here I am, enlightened as to the truth of their existence.

It's not even cringe it's just so fucking boring it elicits no emotional response except for "what the fuck, why is this idiot wasting my time."

I am afraid the retardation is terminal and the subject needs to be put down

Never would have conceived a human would send their nudes to another with the intent of intimidation, but here we are.

 

[Spectate]

That's right, this phonebook has been brought to YOU by TheGatorGamer, AKA TheAnimeAardvark. It would not have been possible without his help.

 

[Laburnum]

They took away his Nintendo thread posting privileges.
They took away his sticker privileges.
They took away his virginity by yiffing.

Now, he is gone. Maybe he was always destined to leave us like this.

 

[Blewberry Nausea]

Actually, sipping causing violence.

 

[JackingOffGeorgeLucas]

Her fingers are too fat to dial digits accurately on a hospital landline phone.