random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Chandelier]

You could make a game show out of every time a pooner asks on r/topsurgery: Is Something Wrong With My Nipples? If they are black and crispy like a potato chip victimized by a flamethrower, I think it's safe to say yes.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

INTERSEXIER THAN THOU THOUGHT POLICE

 

[mindlessobserver]

That Harley Quinn fart comic came out.

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

all kinds of cat paraphernalia in her office (including mugs - which she has NEVER peed in)

 

[Tablet County]

It's true, every time someone kills me with a cruise missile, I fantasize about having gay sex, which proves that the guy who called in the cruise missile is gay.

I get it man, life's like that sometimes.
(I don't get it, life isn't like that)

Beautiful stickers. Tremendous. The best stickers. You wouldn’t even believe it.

 

[DickMain]

If you're that much of a retard that you didn't recognize his art style in the porn and see him DFE when we started talking about it in the thread, that's on you.

stop Necromancing my thread

 

[Aunt Carol]

Storage containers, motherfucker. Ever heard of them?

"Well, I need to give the rest of my queer Jewish commune a week's notice before I let you come walk with me and my flat-headed baby daughter, it's really important to my wife and her husband and my wife's boyfriends."

Shit, sorry, we’re supposed to spoiler nudes.

 

[DickMain]

What a stupid fucking opinion he has

YIFF in Hell Rekieta

 

[Sicko Hunter]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, "I wrote a suicide note" is white-girl-speak for "I am entering doggy cock withdrawal and crave big knotty cocks inside of me.

 

[CaddestSlown]

I'll take "Niggers" for five hundred, Alex.

 

[Spectate]

I’ve been thinking about this... ...Do we think we’ll get unprompted tit pics?

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

It's called "levelling up" Law & Order SVU did a whole episode on it

Pooner Peyronie's

I'm not the same person I was 66 seconds ago

You think your doing coke, nope it's angle dust.

 

[the rat]

Manic prostitute
Awful tattoos; no talent
The cuckold: silent

 

[Oliver Onions]

I hope we get footage of him twerking in the cabbage mines.

 

[neger psykolog]

I think even DSP (the man who masturbated in front of thousands of children) was embarrassed at how high and incomprehensible he was. This guy measured his dick with a best buy receipt LIVE and he's getting fremdschämen from Ralph's public embarrassment.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

He escaped with some GRIDS, but at least his asshole virginity remained safe, that's what's truly important

 

[everybody in Portugal]

Look at the kind of dudes who get into polyamory. They don’t exactly have women knocking the door down. They figure getting a timeshare in a landwhale is easier than actually pulling themselves together.

This abdominal phalloplasty (which involves saline skin-stretching, if I recall correctly) is from an unnamed provider in France and strongly reminds me of Snuffalupagus.

Just look at that. Not a thimbleful of viable semen between them.

One of my favourite genres of pooner is the FtMF (Female to Male Feminist)

the cuck equivalent of a gentle, toothless, blind old golden retriever that gets stuck in corners if nobody is there to help

 

[Thé au lait]

Sorry for the sheer number but these are fucking glorious

He's mental. Once he fucks his own mom we're all going to be like "oh gee, I guess he really was retarded"

just before i finished reading your paragraph and saw the (far more timely) FatGPT comparison i was thinking that he's like a primitive "interactive fiction" text parser one might encounter in a 1980s video game.

> Pay Quasi
I have no debt, child
> Give money to Quasi
There is no Quasi here, child
> Examine money
I am a six-figure novelist.
> Examine court papers
Those are your delusions again, child

"I used to be a normal person you could have a pleasant conversation with. Then Trump happened and I took that as my queue to become an insufferable, over-opinionated cunt."

If Pat told me the sky was blue, I'd think to myself "oh my god you fat retard, what did you do to the sky?" and make sure to check outside.

This poor man has been denied his bangmaid by the Jews, and you’re laughing.

I'm fine with being honest about being a virgin, I think it's better that the world know how white men are suffering.

Get into disagreements with people in front of women then take your shirt off and start flexing at them( the person you're arguing with not the women, homo). After they walk away in shame the women will sense your dominant energy and flock to you. This has worked for me for over thirty years and has scored me forty seven thousand dates. Most leave after I spend the entirety red pilling them about rice and the JQ. You'll have to find another teacher for phase two. You're welcome.

How do you just not be a virgin? The reason it's such a big deal for men is that it is the trials Mario went though.

Men can't be virgins because they don't have hymens. Virginity was an old way to test for whether a women was going to have your kids or someone else's by seeing if you were the first man to break her hymen. Most men thought history never got to procreate so they were all non sex havers; reversion to historical trend. Calling men virgins is transgenderism.

 

[Thé au lait]

Double post for a fantastic line:

Gonna light a candle and say "Eat ass, eat ass, eat ass" three times in the mirror tonight so I can summon Marge to her intervention.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Every time I read about a new small island community there's always some weird shit going on.

You are not a real Kiwifarmer, Child.

You have been instructed on many occasions to not sneed on this forum.

Doing so further will constitute felony sneeding.

Enjoy pink triangle, stalker.

I fucking love this website with all its weirdos and colorful characters

Question, is having a character in Chinese/Korean works that carry a Katana comparable to a having a character in Israeli works that carries a Luger?

Welcome to use this as a pickup line, your date will run to the nearest taxi stand.

Does he realize what he's saying-oh wait of course he doesn't

The jungle fever on this nigga