random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Very Honest Content]

Next time there is a DSP adjacent cop it better be Officer Sanders.

 

[Meat Target]

He's a hot potato of feces.

 

[Croaking Spider]

The skeleton isn't smoking a cigar, doesn't have sunglasses or cool signets, doesn't even ride a bike or isn't flipping anyone off. This is lame as shit.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

That is how totally owned we are by this man with an innie instead of a penis.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Welcome to Gaysville population you

Who is this ‘we’ he speaks of

Him and his legion of chins of course. He's really fat you know.

That's the face he makes when he busts a nut in a Twinkie.

Just pull the plug on me If India is the last healthcare option

Why would you waste your time doing this?

I was young and stupid

I work with people neurologically impaired by autism

how did you get a job that involves posting on kiwi farms?

I just love The Pig so much. He is so utterly irredeemable and vile that I feel no guilt at all about laughing at him.

the smartphone was a massive mistake in more ways than one

The size of Coomer Island scares me.

boy do I feel autistic and pathetic right now. I cant think of anyone who is wasting their time in a more pitiful manner than what I just di....

 

[Crex Crex]

See: the little coochie snorcher who could.

I honestly think people like you have a little worm that's attached to your brain stem ratatouille style that makes you constantly bring up bepenised rape whenever and wherever you can.

hurr scrotes man rapes men raping raping men rape duhhh I'm a commie lesbian retard, durrr

 

[Fort Brooks]

I mean, you could probably do an epic windmill with the thing, at least for the minute or two the stitching held before the whole rotdog flies off like a pork boomerang.

 

[George Lucas]

You want free shit? Back to Africa

 

[Shartavius]

Musk reply guys are the lowest forms of sentient life, toe-to-toe with commenters on hentai sites.

 

[CaddestSlown]

The first step is most important, without it you are doomed to failure.
Step 0: Deport all the Jews to Mars.

I know, we'll all miss their other contributions to society, like their tireless advocacy for White Genocide, troonery, pedophilia, and jazz. Still, what needs doing must be done!

 

[Hitman One]

He looks like a blobfish that fucked a bulldog that fucked a frog. Imagine being raped by that thing.

 

[PhoBingas]

Josh shoulda put the takoyaki in the bag

 

[Aunt Carol]

View attachment 6982140

I just blacked out and ate a whole rotisserie chicken and got hard because of it.

 

[Crex Crex]

The frustation with not being able to constantly kill and slaughter mfers is relatable of course... totally.
Good thing there's warhammer as an outlet!

But my Japanese cartoon porn told me women love smelly moldy smega covered penises, they wouldn't lie to me, next your gonna tell me women don't inflate like balloons when you cum in them.

Your average mens bathroom looks like the set of a saw film

 

[SlaanyChaser]

"Muu 'dik" for short

This looks like werewolf propaganda to me, my anecdotal experience of all the dicks I've ever seen (mine) suggests otherwise.

is that a profile picture of BUTT HOLE?

Oh no, not the Monday cumdump party

Having an account in the first place is the greatest red flag.

That's the nicest anyone's ever called me a schizoposter, though.

This is easily explained by Kevin being a tard and an asshole; I just wanted to point out the obvious discrepancy.

even if it's a sexy bug, like a praying mantis.

SAAR PLS TO BE PUTTING IT IN MY VAGINE SAAR

I'm being called a "schizoposter" repeatedly, which is fine, but I don't understand in what respect.

DO IT. SHITPOST WITH ALL YOUR HATRED.

Also I know some of you lurk here so hello r/4tran YWNBAW.

they may really be too fragile for this gay world.

Provides a better grip for when Peter Thiel/Indian bulls come knocking at his backdoor.

Cuz we straight edge up in this bitch, pussies

They're doing street xanax laced with fentanyl and smoking weed.

FUCK THE FAULT IN OUR STARS.

Six million? Seems a little high.

Can they make full body videos so we can verify that the guy talking isn't jerkin out a huge one under his desk?

I wish my girlfriend would lock herself away during her period, am I right fellas?!

These dresses were not worn by Polito since he was much larger than any sizes present.”

>skank
Cmon nigger...

Bro, thats a faggot.

“vagina was looking like a very old, worn-out gym sock.”

try being a schizo on /lit/

Britain is literally run by a shiteater.

He probably gave the test HIV, the fucking massive gaylord.

Nigga, if sticking your dick into weird shit was an award, we should have a lolcow month.

REMOVE A TARSAL TO RESHAPE THE PALM

Was there a sign on the parking lot that said "Dead Nigger Storage"?

a good way to tell if you have carbon monoxide is if small animals in your vicinity like cats or birds drop dead, or in this case, kids.

I instinctively knew it was a nigress, otherwise it wouldn't had made the news

How do you think that potato pussy compares to the barbussy??

"Unnatural Sex" is what the Indians call intercourse that doesn't involve any kind of feces.

 

[Fort Brooks]

I shouldn’t have to go to the “gas the Jews” website to say that men and women are real and young adults shouldn’t turn their genitals inside-out.

 

[LifeAlert]

In the span of 15 minutes playing SNES DOOM I got so sick that I never touched another Moon Pie nor drank another drop of Dr. Pepper for as long as I lived, up until this very day.

 

[Entomologist]

I hereby declare that Jenny Bitchtits Tomlinson is legally and morally Canadian

 

[The Spoils of War]

If you're ever in egypt with some guy who says he's CIA, don't drink the blue lemonade.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I think I'm just going to go back to getting my news from the Daily Stormer.

No one in that fandom is neurotypical.