random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[General Emílio Médici]

There is extremely powerful symbolism here. A young American man who is obsessed with ancient Rome and Latin hears about ancient scrolls from Roman Italy and sets to work on decoding their secrets (hero's journey). He uses his technical expertise (American ingenuity mythos) to discover writing (knowledge in its purest form) on this set of ancient scrolls, quite literally *taking* knowledge from the lost past, as they were destroyed - by *fire* (extremely promethean).

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Waauugghh i cant make sex jokes about children. Sheepshagging bastard bet you're a hun

Edit: "joke" in question:

 

[Gentlebastard]

Edit: is this fucker playing Candy Crush while getting a BJ?

Assume every public surface has been fucked, bled, and pooped on, no exceptions. Porn and StileProject has taught me that.

That's not very sanitary, it sounds like dude has Fat NTR guy energy.

Bizarre that the only reason I know this is from listening to Howard Stern in the 1990s, but there it is.

This is what I get for not checking her thread in a while.

You shouldn't take some guy's schizo blog post seriously.

How is this not the farms' motto?

Man, I just wanted to read legal documents and speculate their interpretations. A man can’t have shit in Detroit.

It's an advanced form of faggotry that makes you feel like you're gonna piss the bed and panic at the same time.

Sign language should involve the breasts more.
Only women speak it anyway.

You must really hate Zeus. What a way to mark 500 pages.

This thread has a serious problem with archiving and I’m gonna soapbox and be MATI about it and you can’t stop me.

You wouldn't do any better if you were drunk and severely mentally retarded.

 

[Law]

If his walmart electric skillet finally kicked the bucket, that means he now has to use the GAS STOVE.

 

[Hitman One]

Wow, as a white woman (I'm Black and Chinese) this really speaks to me.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

instead of being influenced by the books I've read lately, I'm influenced by the kiwifarms threads I read and now Ethan Ralph is a character in my fantasy book oh god please help

Yeah sure, bitch. Go tell that tiger over there he's carrying on eurocentric colonial ways of knowing or whatever by snacking on jeets. Also, if animals aren't made to be eaten then why did god make them so tasty? Checkmate atheists.


I see this all the fucking time on horse vids. Using a horse to pull stuff/old school farming tasks? ABUSE! Trying to train a foal to behave? ABUSE! (saw one where momma gave her foal a kick to stop being dumb and some airhead was saying the owner should've stopped it. Foal was fine)

Horse being skittish because horses are big, dumb, grass eating dogs that spook over anything? OMG HECKIN ANIMAL ABUSE

When I do my grocery shopping on the weekends it feels like I'm in a sea of old fucks.

Growing tomatoes is a pasta sauce making hack.

. Even by poke-fucker standards, that would be degenerate

A man impregnating a squid on sight wasn’t on my list of things I’d find out today, let me tell you.

>I'M SO MAD IM GONNA RAPE A WOMAN SO I WON'T BE AS MAD
how
how does that even happen? you can punch a person in a rage, but at what point do your pants get unbuttoned and your dick comes out

I'm with you. I'm puzzled by people who like burning their bacon to a crisp and pretending it doesn't just taste like char and spiritual desolation.

 

[frozen_runner]

There needs to be rules about this. There have to be pumps, and the dudes have to nut, otherwise it doesn't count. I don't want half-assing whores devaluing gangbangs.

Doesn't the anus form first anyway?

Turns out I'm a little retarded, thanks.

The poor man pays for the monthly seat heat feature, the rich man realizes that farting is free...

I’d take Libertarians with Asian wives annd fat white women with baby daddies over anyone who marries a Canadian.

God I love being white. To Gitmo you fucking sandniggers!

 

[PointOfNoReturnPoint]

People like you need to be dressed in the burger suit and send to the radical left as a sex concubine.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I might be sober, but amhole is forever.

 

[A Deer In Headlights]

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As a gifted person, I saw all of this coming. We typically can see 20 steps ahead of everyone else.

Yes, I’m aware that this likely makes me sound mentally ill, rather than gifted. I guess my true mental illness is expecting others to react rationally.

 

[LurkingLemur]

I can't stop jerking off unless the government takes it from me! SPAnk me HARDER GRANDMA!

 

[CEO of Gay]

I am going full fucking autism

Yeah, but he's our Mormon ballgargler.

 

[Meat Target]

Santa never buys me anything for my birthday, he's basically a lazy, petty Hitler.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

If you go horsegirl might as well do centaurs.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Sonichu makes you feel something.

They told you they were thinking differently. Turns out 'different' often means stupid.

How many times was the OP dropped on his head as a child?

Null simply has a cloaca

Voting is gay.

Ehm... okay..I can't think of a wacky funny response to that ...

I’d laugh so hard if this website ended someone’s political career.

You are going to jail stalker child

profile post: @Lerias

all you had to do was not type out that post you nigger

 

[Crex Crex]

Pooner mice were not on my 2025 bingo card

Did they invert any rodent dicks?

Unfit as fuck at the moment. But recovering from Dengue and drug-resistant Malaria I got last year on a work trip to Western Papua.

Society prefers to pretend it doesn't happen; they'll teach about the LGBT in school, but they don't teach kids what to do if they take a shit and it hits them in the balls.

You take a crap so long it actually falls forward and hits you in the back of the balls, like a fallen tree hitting a bell.

 

[Pedophobe]

Kiwi Farms Harms.

You shouldn't take some guy's schizo blog post seriously.

I am bolding to show you how stupid you are.

 

[Misogenes]

Another fucking drama queer that stands less chance of being raped than an oven ready chicken.

 

[JustSomeDong]

"Why wipe my ass today? It's just going to get dirty again tomorrow."

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

my only sacred values are getting stacks of cash and drinking women's squirt