random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

My brain goes crazy at minor deviations in symmetry - I notice if a window frame isn't perfect, or a television is a degree off angle on the wall, and it drives me crazy. That's my mental issue. Some people want to cut their dicks off. That's their mental issue. We both deal with it as best we can. We're practically the same thing!

 

[Meiwaku]

As you could probably guess, 95% of our clients were black. But you could tell the niggers from the nig-greats.

I prefer the cumtown explanation.

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

If you get raped in Europe, at least you're gonna have variety.

 

[Hamstirer]

Do it, you candy-ass maplenigger, I double dog dare you.

 

[The Spoils of War]

It's put me off Dick somewhat.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Why so many youtube chefs are gay may be due to gay people mostly having a life mission to subvert society, and the first step to subverting a group is often through food. I can provide a lot of autistic examples of this but I don't want to come off as completely insane.

 

[Gravemind]

Do you think there exists - somewhere in the world - a gnome that is shaped more like a dog penis?

Courtesy of:

I nominate for random.txt: "Do you think there exists - somewhere in the world - a gnome that is shaped more like a dog penis?"

 

[Dr. Butt]

(Bulls are obvious to most but get an angry cow or horse and nobody will really notice until too late.)

 

[The Stranger]

I think the gnome is probably like a poop knife sort of thing. But this guy was probably using the gnome poop knife to bust the shit up in his butt instead of the poop knife for busting it up in the toilet.

 

[Law]

Elon knows absolutely nothing about Diablo back when I still used to play Diablo 2 before they had the HD re release I had absolutely every single top piece of druid gear.

 

[Autistic Gunspergings]

You need to prove your dick is huge.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Oh, a guy can't have a completely brown 12-inch decorative rubber gnome in his bathroom anymore?

Is that a fucking bathroom gnome!?

What you don't have a bathroom gnome?
Y'all are a bunch of fucking weirdos.

>mom found the vintage terracotta bathroom gnome

When you’re so gay people assume you shove an IKEA gnome up your ass.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

this is reddit for chuds

 

[Oliver Onions]

Be warned for there's a photo showing an inconspicuous gnome in his bathroom.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

30-Man Rape Hell is my favorite preworkout.

 

[NiggerDeathRay]

Right around the time he turned into a gay furry he suddenly started to hate Null.

 

[SanctedElectromagnetism]

Retards get raped all the fucking time

 

[Oliver Onions]

After fumbling over his words in a failed attempt to communicate in their native language, they pointed how his fly was open.

 

[demicolon]

He supported Israel, made some word salads about religion and then cried.

 

[Hitman One]

thanks, trevor project, you've made my night go from bad to worse. the entire time she was being relatively condescending, telling me my problems are "normal," then she kept asking me to describe how and when i was going to kill myself despite me not wanting to, over and fucking over. when i finally did, she disconnected.

possibly unpopular opinion: you Do have male genitalia

I’ve stopped viewing my t-dick as less than a cis-dick. i stopped viewing my uterus and ovaries as something that only “women” have cuz it’s simply not true

I am a man with a uterus and ovaries and also a trans dick

I remember when I started to feel that my uterus was actually the most masculine thing about me (that was a HUGE game changer)

It’s only Sunday and my brain is already maxed out on troon crazy.