random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Poonocchio]

You can't be too physical with women, and you can't talk to them the same way. They like to be listened to, but not "interrogated" or "dissected" like a bug—even if it's a sexy bug, like a praying mantis.

 

[Dr. Butt]

"stop watching porn and melting your brain with hormones".

Coherent wank salad ?

Never let your bros be hoes.

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

Why won't furfags develop feeding-yourself-into-a-woodchipper kinks?

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I have a bet with a friend that needs to be settled. Does anybody know any software that actually uses a +NIGGER license?

 

[Dr. Butt]

The thing with freak shows is that they get old.

I will note that I live in murrica, the land of retarded fat faggots, but retarded fat faggots who are free

 

[LifeAlert]

Jack’s are likely always Bristol Type 1, and passing them is like a Nautilus gym experience that takes him at least a hour. Lots of heavy straining, with sweat collecting on his forehead. Maybe Type 2, but that’s being generous.

The only other possibility would be Type 7 mud spatter, probably when he consumes too much sugar alcohol, and ends up pissing out his asshole. I imagine the days of him passing Types 3-6 are in the distant past. Gone are the days of taking a satisfying, juicy shit that looks like he dropped a collection of stew and placenta into the toilet. It’s just dry, metamorphic rocks now.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I don't want to have sex with bugs.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

I'm only surprised the buttplug wasn't in the shape of a sonichu.

 

[The Spoils of War]

The Curious George footage was unneeded.

 

[Ring of Basilius]

ugh, her big fat meatball head. It's punchable.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

Warwick (Styxhexenhammer666) is a faggot. Nuff said.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

Oh boy, here I go down this new rabbit hole.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

I explained why you are the stupid

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

My daddy beat me with the gucci belt.
That why i sag my draws, i like how it felt.

everyone calls each other niggers, because we are all niggers here.

Tfw you learn all the jutsus except the one that locates your dad

Hispanics for Hitler

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

Honestly what the fuck is so offensive about a Hitler chatbot? The ONLY thing you can do with it is treat it like a Magic 8 Ball where it always gives the answer "yes" to "should we kill all the Jews". That's it. Big deal.

 

[GunCar Gary]

FACEBOOK CAUGHT HOSTING AI-POWERED HITLER

 

[Hitman One]

Okay, now for this next part of the prank I'm going to "pretend" to fuck you in the ass while my friend records it for my Pornhub account. Just get naked and let me stick it in. No, don't be ridiculous! It's just a prank. Now just relax. Don't clench.

 

[JustSomeDong]

I PAUSE ALL DISCUSSIONS NOW TO ADRESS USER @Buffalo Chicken Sandwich WHO HAS REACTED TO MY POST WITH AUTISM STICKER

YOU NIGGER, YOU COCKSUCKING FAGGOT, YOU CROSS DRESSING CUM GUZZLER HOMO

YOU HAVE ENTERED A WORLD OF SHIT PAL, YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO COMPEHREND HOW FUCKED YOU REALLY ARE BUD, YOU ARE NOT EVEN MINIMANILY AWARE OF HOW MUCH DANGER IN BARE ANUS IS IN RIGHT NOW AND I AM NOT TALKING AVARAGE DAY SHIT I AM TALKING CHILLY BEAN BURRITO DIAHHERRA SHIT PAL IF I WERE YOU I WOULD GO BACK AND CHANGE YOUR GAY aSS FAG AUSTIM STICKER BEFORE THINGS TAKE A DARKER TURN

 

[EmpireOfTheClouds]

PROJECTING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKIN' IMAX.

 

[Big Nasty]

Face fucking minorities until they puke to own the libs

my dude pick better role models like Dale Earnhardt, Stone Cold Steve Austin or Stalin