💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Aeritalia F-104S-ASA]

What the actual fuck is his avatar on fb? It's so disgusting and deformed.
Also "marking myself safe", strokehead can't into spellcheck.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

For your sake, I really hope you do. Although this seems like a humble brag.

His tribulations are the biweekly carnivore shits.

 

[Revelator]

His tribulations are the biweekly carnivore shits.

I don't believe he's ever had a clean poop in his life. Carnivore poops may make you feel like your butt is concave after the fact, but you don't need to wipe more than once and it (somehow) flushes with no difficulty.

I did carnivore for a little bit myself, the restrictions made my life miserable so I stopped.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

View attachment 6839117
What the actual fuck is his avatar on fb? It's so disgusting and deformed.
Also "marking myself safe", strokehead can't into spellcheck.

Jack acts like Biden is going to ban all meat and take away all his smokers. Such an overdramatic loser

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

I don't believe he's ever had a clean poop in his life. Carnivore poops may make you feel like your butt is concave after the fact, but you don't need to wipe more than once and it (somehow) flushes with no difficulty.

I did carnivore for a little bit myself, the restrictions made my life miserable so I stopped.

I can only imagine what Jack's stools look like. I'm positive he has hehmroids from trying to push it out so much.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I can only imagine what Jack's stools look like. I'm positive he has hehmroids from trying to push it out so much.

He cycles through all seven types on a weekly basis.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

View attachment 6839117
What the actual fuck is his avatar on fb? It's so disgusting and deformed.
Also "marking myself safe", strokehead can't into spellcheck.

Dead cow crossover, but it reminds me of the microcephalic Hartley children.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

He cycles through all seven types on a weekly basis.

He probably manages to reach a plasma discharge state from sheer compression.

 

[biggacracka]

He probably manages to reach a plasma discharge state from sheer compression.

I imagine the plasma bugs from Starship Troopers but with his faggot fucking face lmao

 

[Shartavius]

I'm positive he has hehmroids from trying to push it out so much.

What we see of Jack is the hemorrhoid.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

What we see of Jack is the hemorrhoid.

How dare you.

 

[Shartavius]

When I see Jack, I’m more willing to believe I’m looking at a hemorrhoidal teratoma than a human being. And I’ll bet the smell backs this up.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Yeah, I don't expect him to know Biblos is just Greek for book and where the Bible gets its name from anymore than I expect him to know most Japanese view Christianity as little more than cute window dressing for their weird cartoons.

I wonder how he'd take something like Neon Genesis Evangelion? That's seeped in Christian imagery and the things attacking humanity are named after angels. Of course the creator just liked how it looked / sounded and it has no deep meaning. Also the final episode is literally just WTF is going on?

Jack will salivate over anything that looks like a felching accident.

Speaking of which, Rob has a new video:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=7uRiMnWcgOU
The line about his hands being in the way because he doesn't have a studio was such a non sequitur dig at Jagoff that I laughed like one of the Barbarian Brothers.

Once again Rob is the man. Slight digs at Fatty like pointing out it's fresh garlic he's using. But all in all, a good looking soup and something I myself would have made with more or less the same ingredients. I even have the same container of dried mushrooms in the pantry. I would have skipped the rosemary though.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

View attachment 6839117
What the actual fuck is his avatar on fb? It's so disgusting and deformed.
Also "marking myself safe", strokehead can't into spellcheck.

That’s the Jack Fetterman emoji

It’s pretty unnerving isn’t it?

 

[Pig Cups]

View attachment 6836343

And what tribulations would those be?

Walking two steps? Picking up anything heavier than a paper clip? Having the toilet collapse under his weight in a mess of broken porcelain, shit, and gross water? And he looks up at Tammy like a guilty dog when she walks in to investigate the commotion?

I don't believe he's ever had a clean poop in his life. Carnivore poops may make you feel like your butt is concave after the fact, but you don't need to wipe more than once and it (somehow) flushes with no difficulty.

View attachment 6839310


I can only imagine what Jack's stools look like. I'm positive he has hehmroids from trying to push it out so much.

Jack’s are likely always Bristol Type 1, and passing them is like a Nautilus gym experience that takes him at least a hour. Lots of heavy straining, with sweat collecting on his forehead. Maybe Type 2, but that’s being generous.

The only other possibility would be Type 7 mud spatter, probably when he consumes too much sugar alcohol, and ends up pissing out his asshole. I imagine the days of him passing Types 3-6 are in the distant past. Gone are the days of taking a satisfying, juicy shit that looks like he dropped a collection of stew and placenta into the toilet. It’s just dry, metamorphic rocks now.

 

[Shartavius]

Yeah - I bet Jack's asshole is callused and crusted to the point of resembling an apple cider cruller at 1:1 scale. Only Tammy knows for certain; being as she's back there with a headlamp, Clorox wipes, and hemostat clamps, feeling like a Chernobyl firefighter six times a day, and three per night.

 

[Super Hans v2]

I always imagined Tammy driving Jack to Jr's workplace for his weekly shit, where it comes like a cannon that's filled to the muzzle with mud. To get some assistance back to the car, Jr gets to take his worn out dad out the toilet with the charity shoe warehouse forklift.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack sperging about politics







Jack angry that Star Wars show bombs



Jack continues to play with his new toy

 

[ADN_VIII]

"Create an image of humor"

I'm not sure Grok can make an image describing Jacks life trajectory.

 

[Zhores Medvedev]

That coffee looks absolutely disgusting.

All of the culinary hedonists who make this type drink coffee or otherwise; the ones with "cool different liquids mixed together wow amazing" make me irately angry. If you drink your coffee as presented in the photo it will either be too milky or too coffee-y. The only way to fix this is to stir the fucking drink and then you have destroyed the entire look of the drink. Photography and its consequences have been a disaster for culinary expectations.

There are really cool drinks out there like the "Hot and Cold tea" Heston Blumenthal does, that actually do something innovative and interesting. Not that everyone needs to be doing shit like that, enjoying a simple ice coffee is fine. But "cool looking" drinks like this are the bane of my existence because they attract the most brain-rotted, sugar zombie, freaks who "need it to look like the picture"