random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Mister Baranavichy]

.

Determined not to become couch potato, she turned to pole dancing.

 

[GaryGray]

This is from Fishtank S3 day 30 when Alex Stein came on pretending to be Alex Diamond a media executive while talking to Burt (Black Ripped Urban Trainer) in the confessional.

They are going to follow you because you have been jacking your dick and they love that and we need to keep doing that as much as possible.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT LYING FUCK OFF

 

[Gentlebastard]

This nigger is the most niggardly, niggerish, niggerlicious nigger ever to nig. Nigger.

I just want everyone to know I hated Neil deGrasse Tyson before it was cool.

This looks like one of those scam ad images you see on 5th tier journo sites that try to rob your nana of her retirement money by claiming she has 10lbs of toxic shit stuck in her colon and trying to sell her concentrated elephant bull testosterone as a cure.

I guess they didn't get the memo that the meme or sarcasm has to have like, a kernel of truth

God damn. I didn't know that, but somehow I just knew it, you know?

Why do I need to know this upon glancing at the hamplanet? Why does the hamplanet need to think I know this? I could live a thousand years and die happy without knowing who the hamplanet is or is not fucking.

Why do you keep a hierarchy of fursona acceptability and why are birds at the bottom of it?

This shit is legitimately beyond parody a few years ago that label would have been a shitpost

 

[Stan]

I think this is what baby crazy looks like fam, I'm projecting onto an elephant.

 

[Meat Target]

However, you have a custom that I release one prisoner for you at the Passover; therefore do you wish that I release for you the King of the Balldos?” So they shouted again, saying, “Not this Man, but Ethan Ralph.”

 

[Free Dick Pills]

Billy Bong | 22:34:32
I can't believe we don't have whale sperm farms yet. Like WTF progress?

 

[BirdUp]

Let the troons leave our hobby. The based retards have won in the end.

 

[DickMain]

as well as... bowling ball foot fetish porn. What the fuck even?

They forgot the safe word "Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz"

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I've read some pretty dense shit in my day. Thucydides, Derrida, Chris-Chan.

 

[skunt]

You seem autistic and sheltered. This world is not kind to sheltered autists. I would pray for you but you already live a cursed existence as a self admitted ugly fag, and I don't think that whatever higher power that exists has looked kindly upon you.

 

[Gog & Magog]

If a Hangook breaks out the goddamn picked spinach in a sealed vacuum environment with infinity recycled air I’m killing my self and then everyone else in the ISS

 

[Dr. Butt]

How the hell did we get to this point?
Post Modernism? Queer Theory? Communism?
JEWS?

And now everyone at the pet store has COVID.

 

[bango skank]

Kids need to learn how to fuck eventually. Stop white knighting them weirdo

 

[DickMain]

It’s always faggot hour on the Kiwi Farms

 

[BirdUp]

Her hentai has the same energy as Wikihow drawings.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Parents have enough shit to be worrying about, pedophile fart fetish goonclowns don't need to be added to the list.

Good work on the OP, I really didn't need to see that Pikapenis though

I bet Walt Disney jerked it to Minnie Mouse at least once.

Armenians/Azeris are criminally underrated as lolcows these days.

If you do wage war against the Brazilian govt, please post videos.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

Autism and retardation are not skills

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Every time. Every fucking time there's a spoiler, I just never learn. God damn it.

 

[frozen_runner]

Anyone remember that time you could type stuff like "Ooga booga nigga swooga" into Google Translate and pass it off as Somalian? Edit: Still works. Ooga booga translate to "And praise him".

Trannies can't learn FORTRAN despite the name.

I'd love to be proven wrong but I simply can't trust any Canadians to not beutter faggots.

a few Sieg Heils won't make a sperg into chad thundercock.

Can't stop thinking about that sideways vagina.

The greatest rift in the West is between the kids who watched/read LOTR and became Christians with guns, and the ones who watched Harry Potter and became pansexual Wiccans.

I would ask why we can't have nice stories here, but then I remember when someone posted about penguin populations going up at the Maryland Zoo and the thread devolved into sperging about incels.

Jessica Boyle doesnt have autism. She has a demon possessing her that happens to be called autism

It's kinda nice to know there's a place to go if I ever needed to be raped.

Baths are for women and faggots. A man's bath would be 4ft deep, 3ft wide and 8ft long.
The only time I want to sit still in tit-high water in the L position, is shortly before I introduced a toaster.

If I make the ai say nigger repeatedly will the UK police baton the fuck out of the software engineers who made it?

Mimosa fueled nigger voodoo has no power over a circle of protection cast from a real Wyoming goth wand.

She's basically the Hasan Piker of porn.

Humanity doesn't end with a bang but with a shitpost, I can feel it

You either live long enough to find /pol/, or you die a faggot.

London River is 39, childless, and sucks cock for a living. I think it's best we don't listen to her.

Guys, you have it wrong - they're not killing themselves because Trump won, they're killing themselves because election sounds a lot like erection, and they miss being able to have one.

For heaven's sake, let the man claim his tits.

The rope is your friend.

Every day I thank God I'm not Brazilian.

This is a good start, but I still want India glassed.

Everytime my mom goes to Germany, I worry about her not being racist.

Man, this guy used to be a baby. And now he's doing this. This makes me sad.

I personally suspect a sheboon caused this.