random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[BirdUp]

Like the coward he is, he sat fatly on Twitter and did absolutely nothing about it.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

"Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit."

 

[Train Operator]

One time I saw 2 squirrels fucking and the one was screaming like a porno when suddenly the bitch feel out of the tree right in front of me. Bro was screaming noooooooooo like Darth Vader. The fallen squirrel popped right back up and ran up the tree to keep fucking.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Incriminating yourself for felonies as a "work" is some pure retard shit.

 

[Peru oso donas]

One time I saw 2 squirrels fucking and the one was screaming like a porno when suddenly the bitch feel out of the tree right in front of me. Bro was screaming noooooooooo like Darth Vader. The fallen squirrel popped right back up and ran up the tree to keep fucking

 

[DickMain]

but his infamy ironically enough came from his offsite pass time of being gay on discord (many such cases).

via @Otterly 's post in A&H
"Do you think I could get them to clear my garage out for me? I could insinuate there’s some serious hate in there and some burly German coppers just come and empty it all out for me? I could avoid the gigantic spider I know is lurking under the pile of garden planters in the back crime …"

 

[Aunt Carol]

ETA: Apparently his sister doesn't even exist lmao

Confused? You are now just as confused as Jack. You are officially up to speed. Now just sit back and watch Jack continue on with smugly and incoherently fucking everything up until he's dead.

 

[Pedophobe]

This a car crash mixed with a train wreck wrapped inside a dumpster fire. This shit would be considered too retarded for Jerry Springer.

 

[DickMain]

Who wouldve guessed some dude with autism talking about drinking his own cum would lead to one of the biggest shit shows the Internet has ever seen.

"WHOA BUDDY"

 

[Tablet County]

It's literally a geriatric midget. Just walk away at a brisk pace so it can't keep up. Close the door and it won't even reach the handle.

 

[DickMain]

Just say “Fuck you, I’m not reading even one page of this thread before I post.”

I was trying to eat and then read that, you asshole

 

[Tablet County]

It's 2024 and the Jews are literally sending grannies to execute white men in their homes. It's over, the West has fallen.

 

[Topaz Eyes]

I can see a persuasive argument for Veggietales being idolatry.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

Keep in mind these 2 are directly linked.

NO, she didn't ATTACK, she knocked, said hello, and was immediately maced

I'm not seeing a problem

This is just a random quote.

I AM THE LEADER OF THE KIWIFARMS THREAD

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

I say racist shit with my dad sometimes and I figure a lot of people who can comfortably conversate with their parents on matters like that do too.

 

[Cougar Pump]

mang hoo da fuk acks u sheeit u finna be moh fum bim gum racist ass bip biddy 40 mules and an acre bo bop gum finna bix nood muh fugga shheeeeeit

 

[Xarpho's Return]

Probably figured you haven't lived until you've had a tentacle tickle your prostate

 

[Tablet County]

Having a healthy relationship with your dad is so fuckin cool guys. Don't end up like any of these people.

That old vegan bitch can harass my nuts with her hand.

I was trying to think of a gayer way to assault someone than jumping out from behind a door pepper spraying and all I could think of is if he pulled a dildo out of his ass and beat her with it.

View attachment 6640282
NICK FUENTES! I'M COMING TO RAPE YOU!
IN CHICAGO!
AT YOUR HOUSE!
IN REAL LIFE!
I'M GOING TO STALK YOU AND BECOME OBSESSED WITH YOU AND MAKE YOU MY CONCUBINE LIKE THE ANCIENT IRISH DID!

If you end up mag dumping the UPS guy during one of your paranoid episodes, make sure to record it and upload it here. For the content.

I swear some farmers are always the worst planners and never learn how to turn lemons into lemonade. Or, in this case, cream pies into diluting the Jewish race. Get a little bald ass nigga to become a Hollywood executive.

Guys hold me....I think im having either a panic attack or some kind of transcendent orgasm

 

[Cnidarian]

Allah is apparently a late 2nd to early 3rd century Jew.

 

[BirdUp]

hello mattum yes hello good day my name is Villiam Bob from migrozovt subbort...yes mattum i see here u r haveing wery many wirus on your compuda file...each and ewery file has become corrupt...mattum i vil need agcess you desk top shareing...pls allow remote desk top agcess..mm yess mattum..i am seeing wery many photograph of you..buetiful woman photo...mattum pleas hold vhile i take some sgreenshots for my vorking...mmm...mattum...sex..fucking..