random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Buttigieg2020]

But what will niggers of all colors with 5 separate felony warrants and an expired dealer plate drive now?!?!

Oh no, whatever will we do without our literal blood-blighted, monkey pox-ridden, baby and dog raping faggots???

 

[Tablet County]

French philosopher fan, opinion immediately descartesd.

Even the cocker spaniels are dunking on them

“Whoever made this coffee is the real monster,” said Finklestein's Golem.

I just looked outside my window and saw JK Rowling leap from atop a horse-drawn chariot and bury some kind of medieval flail into the head of a passing androgynous person, as a supporting company of bowmen chanted behind her "41% is 59% too low. The Neinfagsgruppe shall right the wrongs".

 

[Gentlebastard]

These people will sooner suck cock behind a starbucks than work a blue collar physical job.

What do you call two dead influencers at the bottom of the ocean?

A start.

Society has not recovered from them taking the gun emoji away from us

The greatest rift in the West is between the kids who watched/read LOTR and became Christians with guns, and the ones who watched Harry Potter and became pansexual Wiccans.

The socks are anti-witch shields created by DARPA.

He's probably haunted by the ghosts of Jews since he fucked Sarah Silverman and can't sleep due to them rattling his piggy bank at night trying to get the pennies out of it.

This is some supremely silly shit, but I guess it keeps bored morons busy.

Here is a gif of Tim doing the jerk-off motion, for all your future needs

Too late, I already logged in and changed all votes to Dagoth Ur.

"PLEASE let me take another shit on your head PLEASE"

I say this in all seriousness: I am increasingly convinced that a very large number of otherwise straight women like big boobs.

I'm in the bathroom laughing my ass off at this thread, and it's a good thing I'm already sitting on the toilet 'cause this one would've made me shit myself

Is it telling that I recognized the game as Factorio from the color of the text on the forum before actually reading any of the text?

And let us not forget the salient point. His wife was stolen by a fucking JANNY.

Within their first day of meeting, this literal fucking internet forum Janny had taken everything of value fatrick held.

He took his wife in front of him and showed her pleasure and companionship beyond anything the pig man could feebly dream of giving...

He took his unborn daughter and raised her as his own, being there for her until his dying day as her only true father...

He broke his pride, broke his ego, broke him in fucking mind, body, and soul...

He did all this and more.....and he did it for free

It genuinely is puzzling. Its like if I was assraping him and he tried to deter me by declaring "IF YOU DON'T TAKE THIS COCK OUT MY ASS RIGHT NOW I WILL CLENCH REAL FUCKIN TIGHT AND MASSAGE YOUR SHAFT WITH MY SPHINCTER!"

High class metaphor aside, the general gist of this shit is you do not reward people for bad behaviour you want them to stop engaging in.

As expected, most of it was a giant shitpost. God bless.

On a lighter note, I just noticed my computer doesn't try to autocorrect "troon" anymore!

He even has another NSFW account just for diaper shit

"Would you oppress me? I'd oppress me. I'd oppress me so hard."

It's hilarious how he can go from "I was known to be too smart for my own good in high school, I didn't do any school work but just went in and aced every test" to "I graduated with a 1.7 GPA" in one sentence and not flinch.

 

[Day of the Cope]

Life is short. Blow shit up.

 

[Seafarer]

It took me a while to see the problem because I was too focused on wondering if the basketball recognizes the state of Israel.

 

[Meat Target]

I thought curves were a pre-requisite for employment at Hooters. It probably doesn't help that this dude appears to be refrigerator-shaped and has a face like a busted crab.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

I'm a holocaust denying pedophile

That was my mommaaaa why did you ban her

I fuck minors

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Lifetime Thrillers are very amusing quickly thrown-together schlock that's good for making jokes at. If they're putting full sex scenes in those, expect one called "The Wrong Hole" or "Stalked By My Cuck".

 

[Tablet County]

Ain't you the nigger who was just caught writing incest roleplay!

Yes

 

[Omori Boy]

Figures I'm debating a glormp supporter. A moron.
Are you gonna post to contribute, or do I have to report you? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU POST THAT, YOU JUST WASTED 1/20TH OF A PAGE! IF YOU HAD SOMETHING TO SAY AT ALL YOU WOULD POST SOMETHING WORTHWHILE! YOU'RE SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

You steaming pile of hot fucking shit, you have no right to say shit. You have no right to post shit. What a shit-for-brains piece of shit you are. You are shit! Shit! SHIT! What the FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW, SHIT? HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT PERHAPS PEOPLE JUST DON'T LIKE YOU? THEY HATE YOU! NOBODY LIKES YOU! YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT! YOU DO NOTHING BUT SIT IN YOUR FILTHY ASSHOLE AND LITERALLY DO NOTHING TO ADVANCE MANKIND!

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

Can I kindly fucking kill myself?

By the way, your babygirl Keffals (voiced by Charlize Theron) would beat the shit out of my ass.

I should shove glass into my dirty period blood encrusted vagina

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

The kid looks like a 40 year old retarded midget.

which despite also having mutilation and dead kids utterly bored the piss out of me.

I'm not the CEO of Gay

CHICKEN NUGGETS ARE THE REAL THREAT TO WOMEN!!?

how the fuck we went from the punisher to ghost of yaoi

Can't we talk about the cuteness of the revived seed instead of arguing about juice and sand?

What does wawa have to do with troons I don't understand

Yes Oreagon and Texas are GAY

If an Opera ends up in a bloodied lesbian sex show then its probably a crap Opera.

Who THE FUCK comes to a LOLCOW forum to debate RAPE STATISTICS without a hint of irony?!?

Moon crickets, meet troon crickets.

Can you restate this without using the nigger word? Serious question.

How I sleep knowing I’m not in any gay NSFW DM chains (this is apparently a common problem)

Don't lie you love the big butt incest mommy RP.

And I was caught in 4k talking about the vagina word like a naughty boy

Keep chasing that furry ERP thread dragon.

You cum to paper mario, relax.

I’d give OPs anus a stress disorder …

Do you whine that the the dogs in Bluey aren't sex enough for you too?

That's up there with the hitler tea pot.

I'd disown my friends too if they intoduced me to gay furry Flo Rida

Modders have done the impossible and nerfed her chin. What an age we live in!

Apparently you actually have to design these things, so he had to have known he was designing a chracter at least.

I have never read actual lesbian porn, it's all about 900 pages and there's no sex.

it's not like consumers would purchase less funky, sex toys or anything else because of the seaweed shipments.

 

[Thé au lait]

Fellow dick lover huh?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

think you got the wrong link homie that's a benjamin boyce podcast on pyschopathy

Egypt, why did you create a dog that yodels?

The best way to let someone know you're a "stone cold thug" is by jerking off a rock hard dog.

Weird bully breeds are the best anti-marijuana PSA. If you do weed one time, you will end up giving handjobs to pit bulls with names like "Heisenberg" and "Moltisanti" so you can sell dog cum on the internet. Worse than the ending of Requiem for a Dream.

Niggers literally jack off dogs. This is what niggers do.

She went to University of Arizona for creative writing and ended up with two dicks in her ass.

 

[Syzyg]

I'll freely admit to my inability to comprehend the inside of your ass

I'll leave you to figure out what the inside of an ass looks and feels like, it sounds like a subject you're familiar and comfortable with

Sorry, don't really know what your ass looks like.

 

[Pedophobe]

Like a true libertarian, it’s not the disgusting pedos that turned him away from being a free speech absolutist, it was people laughing at him.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Has he drawn nothing new since the swamp monster comics? With his art style, he could at least doodle Ciel farting rainbows or something.

 

[DickMain]

God is going to materialize a new police officer from the ether to replace him named Chuck Sneed out of spite for Nick

 

[CaddestSlown]

I stayed on the Farms for 33 hours straight after the Chris incest tape dropped

 

[Cnidarian]

kiwibrothers, if I ever become this, if somebody posts a thread about a disgusting pig-man whose gamer brain has finally collapsed under its own retardation, and you link him to this account, I'm begging you, please come to my house and put me out of my fucking misery. give me the final log out and burn everything so that only ashes are left behind. show this post to the judge as proof that I, while I was in (relatively) sound mind, earnestly asked for this. flesh is so unimaginably cruel.