random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Dr. Butt]

View attachment 6895046

 

[Cnidarian]

Hey, so, completely unrelated, off-topic tangent that has nothing to do with anything prior to this, but did you know that rats are actually, for an r-selected species, great moms? They even nurse and foster each other's kids in the colony. They're so highly empathetic they'll even risk their own lives to save each other from danger with no expectation of reward. A rat mom would defend her unborn offspring with her life. Just as a totally unrelated aside.

 

[Meiwaku]

I neglected my vagina for 3 years post-surgery. Now I don't know how to fix things.

trying to pretend you've lost enough weight to fit in a normal salon chair is ridiculous enough to send people like me off on an autistic quest to google "plus size salon chairs."

I don't know what's worse, your schizo ramblings or the fact you're probably right.

From her photos on the CWCki, she seems to have a more restrained northern European gait, rather than the limb-swinging negro gait of an American.

Speaking of pissing away money, I loaned a kid $20 in high school once, which was a lot of money back then, and the next day I found out he fucking necked himself. Hung himself from his fucking ceiling fan over some chick. When I found out I was so incredibly stunned all I was able to do was make jokes. My head canon is that he used that money to buy the rope and the stool to do it. What a fucking dick. Seriously does he have any idea how awkward it was to have to go up to his parents at the candlelight vigil to ask for the money back?

i lived long enough to see the democrats call the ADL a nazi aligned hate group

It can't be a kiwifarmer, we don't allow black people here.

"The internet has convinced me niggers are violent detriments to society, there's only one option." *kills first vaguely white-looking girl he sees*

I used a men's restroom today and felt euphoric, but I have some questions about men's restroom etiquette, trans safety in men's restrooms in red states, and also about packing. EDIT: I'VE READ EVERYBODY'S COMMENTS AND DECIDED TO STICK WITH THE WOMEN'S RESTROOM FOR MY OWN SAFETY.

Are you suggesting women can't have a scrotum?

 

[0713]

The only thing more retarded than fate lore is politics.

 

[Dr. Butt]

This statement it's fake for example some gay people has never been Bottom so does that mean he is not gay?
No, Because being gay it's liking a male looking person not being fuck in The ass!

 

[Solomon Bundy]

That's incorrect. It's the act of sex that generates mana. But maybe I could be mistaken because I only played the censored version

 

[Dr. Butt]

mmmmmmmm
vanilla~~~
imma do a weekend trip for some goddamn vanilla ice cream.

 

[JustSomeDong]

All I know is that Astarion and his fans remind me of kids I bullied in high school - and not the ones I feel bad about bullying.

 

[Lords Greatsword]

Anglos are the jews of ethnicity. In their entire history, the only cultural products they have produced are union contracts, intellectual property law, and homosexuality (did not exist before anglos were invented). Not to mention television licenses.

 

[Dr. Butt]

OOOOHHHOOOHOHOHOH MY GOD MY FUCKING NIGHTMARE MARSH IS SO GROSS OH GOD GET HIM AWAY

 

[LifeAlert]

Still, it’s funny to imagine this happening to Jack- Tammy comes home to the sight of an incoherent Jack staggering around inside the house, moaning and bawling like a zombie, with cholesterol emanating from every vessel, pore, and orifice. Kind of like when those mutant isopods started bursting from people’s bodies xenomorph-style in The Bay (2012). And it freaks her out so much that she runs into the bedroom to retrieve the gun.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Black person + white person = mixed race child
Asian person + white person = mixed race child
Black person + Asian person = mixed race child

but

Male person + female person =/= mixed sex child

 

[Oliver Onions]

Jagger bottle empty, spitting indoors, still low energy and pretty boring though

 

[Tablet County]

It means being bald is less of a sin than making fun of someone for being bald. Not a favorable revelation for the Farms, unfortunately.

 

[Crex Crex]

Friend pointed her out to me and claimed she was a necrophiliac.

If the tranny or the orc beats Demi Moore, I will flip my shit.

Hitler was pretty cool.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

The declining literacy of a manifesto has to be studied.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Trump's America

Henceforth, video games will once again be about ninjas fighting dinosaurs and will feature hot women with big boobs

 

[demicolon]

I think there was one clip where a guy was savagely eating somebody's DICK.

 

[Suah Noteb (Betonhaus)]

I wouldn't respect my brother if he didn't finance my brothel, either.

 

[Gentlebastard]

"Go, Null! Go out and consume cheese!"

These creatures have the unforeseen luck of being born in a generation to have access to the internet and they spend that luck to be retarded on Reddit. What a waste

I know it's a joke, but fuck it I might actually do this.

"Tons of old rule34 posts have had the tag "trans_woman" removed and replaced with "futa". This is trumps America"

No one is immune to propaganda/pussy.

OMG! Can you imagine how much fun that would be? Stalker Child Penitentiary? No fun! Stalker Child Camp?

We'd so roast marshmallows and dare each other to kiss the girls!

I COULD'VE BEEN FACETIMING EELS?

Imagine you read an Elder Scroll and this is the arcane knowledge you're imparted with.

How are you going to bring that up and not mention Kevin Gibes's sole contribution to humanity - "amhole"

bro that’s what happens when you’re just an uncreated shadow person formed by the demiurge instead of a real person with a soul gifted to them by the seventh emanation of god