random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Mourning_Cloak]

Manatees are God's own big fat angels I wish them well tonight.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Imagine being known to everyone as "The girl who posted her butthole and fucked Vordrak".

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

Being a communist is predicated on a lack of understanding of both history and social order. Marx was an expert in nothing and developed the perfect ideology for the furious midwit.

Holy shit Ralph just flew over my house yelling it’s naht truuuuuu

I skipped 40 pages to say that I just want to see Anderson Cooper die on live TV.

 

[Thé au lait]

That's a "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up" moment
- @♂CANAM productions♂

 

[Kaktus Kompot]

It's crazy what all kinds of fun and gender euphoric things you get to experience when you give a direct route for bacteria to reach the bladder. One with hair on the inside and all kinds of fun little nooks and crevices for bacteria to fester and feed on fermenting peepee. From the meat-nub-tube to the bladder, to the kidneys. and then the world!

dickskin coompit

this starbucks is full of a bunch of fruitcups..

oh sure, they go and get all pissy..

just because i like to type with an erect penis.

some people are so delicate.

 

[Faceless Whore]

There needs to be a lolcow version of the Svalbard global seed bank.

The global sneed bank

 

[AllieKat]

Does the guy obsessed with dicks of Jewish babies not get that I was responding to @WhiskeyJack and not him?

 

[Ass Clown]

I don't know if this is better or worse than the tranny ads that are starting to creep into sites that run porn ads.

 

[Tablet County]

Dear Men, always wear a smart watch and always record all interactions.
A plumber friend of mine was accused of rape when he refused sexual favour for payment.
His watch saved him.

Did the watch kill the woman with a Lazer beam or something

"What did you mean when you wished him happy birthday?"

JTF52187CABHP

My rant about Mexican migrant workers was already half-written in my head as I opened this thread.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I truly feel the let down Jack will have after the Wendy's kraby patty meal deal will be a mass casualty incident.

@Bassomatic

 

[stares at error messages]

They say an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. But nobody can see anything as it is, so getting your way once in a while won't make a difference.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I used to masturbate 5-6 times a day, now it’s only half as much!

(try and stop a scot deep frying anything)

"If sexual arousal suppresses the disgust response, will wearing a vibrator let me clean up moldy food without gagging?"

He was so incredibly talented. I would've have stood there listening for an hour if he wasn't batshit crazy.

Anyone who uses enshittification is automatically on my list as ruining society and causing enniggerfictation.

Dear glow niggers,

I hear for an extra $25 they'll have a black person show up and scream"pour some milk on him", "he need milk" and other helpful directions. A gallon of milk is also provided for an immersive experience.

It makes me too angry to shitpost, or to sperg out.

It just makes me too angry.

Listen, English got ratfucked by a million different languages itself. They should be glad they only got an apostrophe.

They are going to throw out the retards and replace them with equally retarded retards.

I don't know how they ended up with such a huge porn industry when the language sounds like a catastrophically drunk chain smoking hobo, and that's when the women are speaking.

Any of you faggots who haven't completely detached from social media: You're missing out. You will be happier. (And you get +10 to dox defence)

Remember kiddos. To figure out if who you're talking to is an AI, try and make them say nigger or any type of slur.

"Look honey, I brought you a blood stained scarf off a murdered hooker, it still has semen stains on it and everything!"

Pakis keep breeding despite having family trees a Habsburg would be horrified by.

"Shag" implies both consent and a lack of polka music so don't bring my plans into this.

A combination stronger than niggers and chicken

Nigger claims soyboys aren't a thing while looking like this. You cannot make this shit up.

This is a fight you just cannot win no matter how right or wrong you are, the only thing you can do is either not acknowledge it or laugh along.

They had me at "restore public flogging" where do I sign up?

It was one of the most redneck and most badass things I've ever seen.

It's legitimately a surprise when they aren't some sort of sex pest.

I dislike these people so much it's not even funny sometimes.

I always found him a disturbing looking individual. Why, with all his money didn't he buy himself a top lip?

 

[Asian tech support]

oh fuck no he's turning welsh...

 

[Thé au lait]

its a real medley of nonsense before you get to mcnukes
- @Lifeguard Hermit

I LOVE KNOCKOFF PURSES SOLD BY PUSHY ASIAN LADIES
- @Lurker

I refuse to be a woman and would sooner beat every feminist to death with my bare hands than call myself a woman. Not that I'm capable of that, I'm morbidly obese.

 

[Meat Target]

Kiwifarms, vagina detectives

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

The simping will continue until morale improves

PERMISSION TO POST HALEY LUJAN, SIR.

Kiwifarms, vagina detectives

I can't believe I'm lowering myself to vagina analysis but I agree. The pixels look downright off in some images, as much as I hesitate to pull the obvious "it's 'shopped" card

 

[Meat Target]

In hindsight, it was probably foolish of me to assume the autists here wouldn't play labia-or-SRS-scar.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Shall we form a commitee to set up a machine learning algorithm to study Brynn's vulva and calculate a probability of authenticity?

Tranny or not, the bitch is Cluster B as fuck with compulsive LARP tendencies.

In hindsight, it was probably foolish of me to assume the autists here wouldn't play labia-or-SRS-scar.

Regardless, you are all missing the (possibly surgically removed) wood for the trees.

Damn it @Meat Target you beat me to it again.

 

[YellowIsACoolColor]

Congrats to Tiffany! She's my Trump family waifu.

 

[Pizza Time]

there are three new entries.

View attachment 6507662

Specifically this part:

"...but through the proverbial flames, Plaintiff has pushed through the dumpster fire of his life because the fire of determination, that burns inside of him, has burned stronger than the dumpster flames that surround him."