🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

  • Yes

  • No

Results are only viewable after voting.
Mr. Manchester said:
Dumped by both Faith and her Mom. Ralphamales... I don't feel so good...
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He should just fuck Vicious Vickers and get it over with.
Lidl Drip said:
And he wants his son to become exactly like himself and he was playing nintenbox at 4 years old!!!
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No way the late, great Ronnie Ralph was paying for a console! There's was a Tiger Electronics handheld household.
 
Couldn’t afford Harry Potter for his wife. Couldn’t manage to play Elden Ring. Couldn’t even play Civilization.

Doubtful he can even afford a Switch 2 and $90 games much less have the brain capacity to play them with his son.
 
It's pretty clear he wanted to give Xander the switch so he'd become fascinated and addicted to it, so whenever Faith had to take it away Ralph could engender resentment. Ralph is not a generous person. The only time he thinks about others, it's how to get revenge on them.
 
AncientPhosphur said:
Couldn’t afford Harry Potter for his wife. Couldn’t manage to play Elden Ring. Couldn’t even play Civilization.

Doubtful he can even afford a Switch 2 and $90 games much less have the brain capacity to play them with his son.
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he's just trying to set up his latest high-stakes grift where he raises money for a Switch for his son and then spends the money on loopy pills and tortas
 
Oliver Onions said:
No way the late, great Ronnie Ralph was paying for a console! There's was a Tiger Electronics handheld household.
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I don't think Tiger's licensed knock-offs would have come out until after Ronnie left. A second-hand one of these is likely what Ralph got:
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"Blinking lights were good enough for me, they're good enough for muh sohn." Ralph or Ronnie, probably.
 
Mynameisdark said:
It's pretty clear he wanted to give Xander the switch
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He wanted to because May left her old switch in Mexico, he doesn’t use it so he could pretend he was giving Xander an expensive gift. Ralph is broke and selfish, but also a braggart. He wanted to spend $0 and brag about giving Xander a fancy toy.
Pale Empress said:
That's an awful lot of words and coping and seething when he could have saved a lot of time and effort and said his parents neglected him and he has no idea how to positively nurture the kid he sees once every three months. That's a pretty funny screed of insults from him, considering he doesn't even play video games (FIFA or whatever EA Sports title he fires up for fifteen minutes once a year don't count).

He had a TV in his room at age 5? No wonder he's brain-rotted and obsessed with Basketball-Americans. Hopefully Faith and Isaiah do a better job of raising Xander than Ronnie and Sandra did with Ethan, but it looks promising so far.
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In his nostalgic white trash childhood revelry he carefully ignored the post pointing out a 3-4 year old literally doesn’t have the hand size, fine motor skills, hand eye coordination or dexterity to use a switch yet.

Ralph should spend his limited visiting time watching Xander color with crayons, catch a ball or use utensils so he can understand what children at that age are actually capable of doing. He obviously can’t be bothered to read about it and doesn’t spend enough time around Xander to have a single clue.

Ralph was not playing any of those video games at 3- 4 years old. Ralph might be recalling memories from 6-7 but he wasn’t playing Frogger at 3. The fact he writes as if he has such clear recall of these details from age 3 or 4 confirms it’s obvious bullshit. Ralph is taking vague memories from when he 6 or 7 and retrofitting them to ages 3-4 to

If Ralph ever “played” games as a 3 year old it was Sandra giving Ralph an unplugged joystick #2 while she actually played but he didn’t know the difference.

Ralph has taken as much effort to learn about childhood development as old Ronnie did.

Btw I loved arcade games when I teen babysitting kids 2-4 years old, because you could sit them front of an arcade game, let them hit buttons and move the stick and never put any coins in. They were thrilled. Putting a coin in was just a waste and actually ruined their enjoyment. Today they might be like Ralph and think they were really good gamers before kindergarten.
 
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My parents bought my kids some clearance fighting robot toys and all I could think of was "OMG the Ethan Ralph thread would know what to do with this!"

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it's funny to me that people saying he shouldn't buy his Son-in-name-only a switch is what's making him so angry. Like you put up a gay poll and nobody agreed with you so you write a giant screed proving that actually you played video games as a kid which, given how your life turned out, is actually a strong case for the opposition.
 
Ralph needs to commission some handmade, stuffed Rare Gators for Xander. He needs his heir to start preparing to inherit his birthright as the future host of the Killstream.

All joking aside, I really hope we get a Xander / Rosy collab podcast where the slowly work through all the Ralph threads and learn about their father. I’d be their first subscriber.
 
That Switch tweet is fucking unhinged man.
“I did X and I’m fine” is not an argument Ethan fucking Ralph is capable of making.

What makes it extra funny is that the vitriol is solely because OP is a woman. I love that he bullies women because he gets his shit rocked when he mouths off to dudes lol
 
TheSaltySpitoon said:
That Switch tweet is fucking unhinged man.
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But he played vidya when he was a baby and look at how he turned out! Do not let no bitch tell you vidya is bad, women evil! I guess he wants Xander to grow up to be a friendless fat faggot with crippling addictions and mental problems, which being raised by the Vickers clan I am sure is inevitable regardless. So do not worry Ralph.
Capt. Jean Luc Ritard said:
it's funny to me that people saying he shouldn't buy his Son-in-name-only a switch is what's making him so angry.
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Well he is not actually going to buy Xander a switch, even if Faith allowed it. He just wants to let him play with the greasy one that Pantsu stole from digibro. Ralph still has not gotten his Son a birthday or Christmas gift, he thought about giving him his gay baked faglaska sun glasses on Twitter, and a picture of Sandra, though never did either of those things. I think he might have shared Faith's amazon wishlist once so maybe Adolwulf bought him a gift.
 
Salvatore Leone said:
Ralph sucked so much at games, he had Sandra teach him and he will do the same with Xander. Also vidyagames are for men you stupid Karen Farmer,
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His flabby ass stays planted in front of a screen every waking hour, a proud tradition he wants to pass on to ‘muh SUUHHNNNN.’
 
TheSaltySpitoon said:
That Switch tweet is fucking unhinged man.
“I did X and I’m fine” is not an argument Ethan fucking Ralph is capable of making.
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This is true. More like “AH PLAYED GAMES MAH MAMMA TAUGHT ME AN’ AH’M SO FUCKED UP AH DENIED THE NAME MAH DADDEH GIB ME AN’ AH LET HER DAH ALONE IN THAT FACILEETY!”
TheSaltySpitoon said:
What makes it extra funny is that the vitriol is solely because OP is a woman. I love that he bullies women because he gets his shit rocked when he mouths off to dudes lol
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And some women.
 
Rage Pig said:
Piggertits has developed a new fetish, live streaming himself stuffing cheap beaner slop into his fat melon. First it was a torta, now tamales. Quite bizarre and very disgusting.
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He is eating bottom of the barrel acting like it is some sort of delicacy no others can get. I've had tamale, and they are kinda mediocre. Birria is pretty damn good though.
 
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