Oregon Gas Crisis - Starting 2018 the right way

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The state of Oregon has joined 48 other states in the union to allow “self-service” gas stations, meaning you can now pump your own gas as opposed to a “full-service” station where an employee does it for you.
New Jersey is now the only state to not allow self-service at all.


https://www.boredpanda.com/pump-your-own-gas-stations-laws-oregon/

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This comment raises more questions, like “how did you almost die?”
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The machines are taking jobs once again. I don’t remember fucking up pumping gas so badly I smell like it.
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You wearing a skirt in winter in Oregon is on you, don’t blame the gas.
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“cooties”
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“transients”
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Job opportunities await!

Edit: This was moved from it’s original forum Salt Mine to Articles and Happenings so I edited the title.
 
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For all the ways Oregonians (and especially Portlanders) mock flyover country as being out of date and old-fashioned, in the early 1990s and late 1980s, a number of stations in Houston, TX were built unmanned gas stations--no store, not even a little booth in the center, just several pay-at-the-pumps.
 
Thank God for the west coast states and their abundance of walking amoeba
 
Imagine nearly dying because you fucked up using the petrol pump so badly. Not because it malfunctioned and exploded or something like that, you're just too dumb to figure out simple mechanical devices. How does someone like that even learn to jerk off and fuck and cook their own food?

Also it's like some M. Night Shyamalan movie where they stay inside their little enclave and fear the outside world. Do these fuckers not travel anywhere? Or do they pretend to be disabled so that the whole rest of the world has to play-act as their Mummy when they're outdoors?
 
Herbert Hoover said:
Hell, where I'm from you don't have to interact with anyone when you go and get gas. You pay at the pump, fill up your tank, and then leave. It's not that hard. I learned when I was sixteen.
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When I moved from a rural 3rd world country to an actual town when I was like 12 or so, I could figure out how to get gas when I was with my parents. It's not something it's ever occurred to me you'd really have to think about. It is genuinely baffling to me that this is a 'thing' ANYWHERE in the US.

If there has ever been a sign that there needs to be another proper war to help weed out some of the retard babies that have evaded natural selection and grown up, it's this.
 
This entire story has just been so strange to me, I've gotten quite a few good laughs at some of the stories and pictures of the Oregon nincompoops that don't know how to pump gas... but the social media RAGE! that Oregonians are STILL spewing... good grief.
Maybe, just maybe, stations will consider it a good business practice to keep on doing it even though they're no longer mandated by law.
Though I somehow doubt it.

Up until just a few years ago in the US Midwest was a "no frills" gas chain called "Swifty" and their whole shtick was an attendant dressed in a "old fashioned" mechanics jump suit and armed with a chrome hip coin changer (like it was still nineteen tickety-2 and you could fill up your Ford for $0.75), who pumped the gas for people, but if you pulled up to one of the "self serve" and then paid in cash you'd save like $0.05 per gallon.
When the only owner of the company died, and it was revealed how much cash the company was hemorrhaging to keep going with the old timey practice he'd had going for 40 years, the entire chain went out of business startlingly fast. Likely literally days.

So, I know it might be a foreign concept to most Oregonians, but there's this thing called a "Free Market Venture", and if they REALLY TRULY want a full service pump attendant gas station they can invest their own money and start one. Any wagers to see how long it would last?


edit: found a picture of a Swifty operating in 2014 in Ohio.
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I suppose if you dont have hands, pumping gas will be a bitch.

So is driving though.
 
AnOminous said:
Diesel nozzles, at least in the U.S., are supposed to be designed to prevent this kind of accident. In theory, the fuel would mostly just spill on the ground as you couldn't get the wider diesel nozzle into a car's gas tank.
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In theory.
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How do I gas a car? I tried putting it in the hole under the hood and now Oregon owes me for repairing my engine.

if they are that salty over self serve, they can make it a municipal bylaw like a couple of cities in Canada have.
 
Where I live, there are gas stations that are full-serve, and gas stations that are self-serve. Some gas stations even have both full-serve and self-serve pumps. People who prefer to pump their own gas go to self-serve gas stations, and people who prefer not to pump their own gas go to full-serve gas stations. Both types of people live in harmony and everyone is happy.
 
AnOminous said:
Diesel nozzles, at least in the U.S., are supposed to be designed to prevent this kind of accident. In theory, the fuel would mostly just spill on the ground as you couldn't get the wider diesel nozzle into a car's gas tank.
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We had an electrician at work who filled our petrol V6 Hilux with diesel. He said he was having trouble filling it because the nozzle didn't fit so he just dribbled it in slowly. You also have to lift up a flap that says DIESEL to get to the pump handle, which is a completely different colour (black) to the normal petrol hoses (green or red) in most filling stations around here, so unfortunately no matter how carefully you design something, an idiot will find a way.
 
Goofy Logic said:
How do I gas a car? I tried putting it in the hole under the hood and now Oregon owes me for repairing my engine.

if they are that salty over self serve, they can make it a municipal bylaw like a couple of cities in Canada have.
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Only if the state lets them. State law is superior to municipal law, and if municipal law contradicts it, state law is what counts. State governments are considered unitary, i.e. the municipality is just a part of the state. The state can do anything up to and including outright abolishing municipalities entirely.
 
I...what. Just what. By "pumping gas" this means what I think it means, right? Putting gas in your car? I want it to mean something else but...oh come on I can't help it: I've done the 'super intimidating' job of pumping gas since I was a kid and my grandma needed her tank refilled. I'll even admit this: I've never been near a serviced gas station. It's always been pay for it, pump your own gas, go inside to get junk food, cigs, and scratch-offs.

What fucking planet are these babies from that they can't insert a nozzle into a hole and grip?
 
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