Natural Birth community - Bringing back paleolithic infant mortality

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Slowboat to China said:
I remember a blogger that gets discussed occasionally ... I think her name was HelenaCreatrix? Something like that. Anyway, she was hardcore hippie in the outback of Australia, and she had about eight kids that were super-naturally-birthed in a bath at home. One of her posts talked about the birth of her twins, one of whom got stuck inside and was born about eighteen hours after the other. It all turned out fine, thank God, but I read that and just kept thinking: what if it hadn't? Shit like that used to kill back in those wonderful olden days.
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I've read about her. She's really out there. Supposedly between the births of her twins, she and her husband had sex to move things along with the second baby.
 
this reminds me of the practice of Lotus Birth, pretty much leaving the umbilical cord and placenta attached to baby after it's been delivered . one couple talked about how they had to rub lavender and other things into the rotting after birth to stop it from smelling. it's stupidly dangerous to baby but of course most mothers who practice it say it's natural.
 
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YoloSwaggins said:
this reminds me of the practice of Lotus Birth, pretty much leaving the umbilical cord and placenta attached to baby after it's been delivered . one couple talked about how they had to run lavender and other things into the rotting after birth to stop it from smelling. it's stupidly dangerous to baby but of course most mothers who practice it say it's natural.
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Oh my fucking god.
These people are insane. :c
 
YoloSwaggins said:
this reminds me of the practice of Lotus Birth, pretty much leaving the umbilical cord and placenta attached to baby after it's been delivered . one couple talked about how they had to rub lavender and other things into the rotting after birth to stop it from smelling. it's stupidly dangerous to baby but of course most mothers who practice it say it's natural.
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I have simple questions for these people
Would you want a pointless blood vessel that connects to your heart to just be lying around awkwardly coming out of your abdomen taking a large amount of blood from the rest of your body and exposing it to whatever is in the dead flesh it is attached to?
Would you want to after already potentially being low on blood oxygen and having extremely sensitive skin and no thermoregulative ability have to swim in the middle of the cold polluted ocean surrounded by predators (yes people can get hypothermia even in the warmest ocean water)?

If you answered no to any of those questions then don't put an infant through them
 
:powerlevel: I was born at home. So were half of my siblings. But my mom went the doctor, got checked that everything was going ok. Actually a lot of my family has done this.

A completely "natural" birth is ridiculous. You can give birth in the comfort of your own home but for the love of god go to your ultrasounds, talk with your doctor, and do it in the mind that you may need to go to the hospital. Modern medicine exists for a reason. Romanticizing birth like this is a killer. I need to stop because woo midwives who participate in this sort of thing willingly get me upset.

Oh ya, go to a remote location to give birth.
:stress:
Dolphins.
 
When the mother knows or feels that her baby needs to go, she can remove the diaper or clothing and hold the baby in a secure, close position over an appropriate receptacle.
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Aside from how fucking creepy this whole article reads, you just know these assholes let their kids shit in public trash cans.
 
CatFace said:
Oh ya, go to a remote location to give birth.
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I don't remember what prompted this (except perhaps the pregnant freshman classmate) but I had a high school teacher that said if she ever got pregnant she'd go out alone in the desert and give birth. You know, with all the rattlesnakes and scorpions. :surprised: God forbid there's a rabid predator in the vicinity.

wheat pasta said:
Aside from how fucking creepy this whole article reads, you just know these assholes let their kids shit in public trash cans.
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Going completely diaperless is the trendy thing to do now. So is the extreme opposite of not potty training kids before elementary school. My mom has gone on rants about both and I can't say I blame her. Both are fucking awful.
 
MysticMisty said:
I don't remember what prompted this (except perhaps the pregnant freshman classmate) but I had a high school teacher that said if she ever got pregnant she'd go out alone in the desert and give birth. You know, with all the rattlesnakes and scorpions. :surprised: God forbid there's a rabid predator in the vicinity.


Going completely diaperless is the trendy thing to do now. So is the extreme opposite of not potty training kids before elementary school. My mom has gone on rants about both and I can't say I blame her. Both are fucking awful.
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Fucking why? What on earth is the reasoning behind not potty training kids until fucking elementary school? What age would that be, 6 or 7?

How is that a thing?
 
Some bullshit about how kids will only be potty trained "when they're ready" and therefore it's better to wait instead of forcing them at two because "it takes the same amount of time anyways". I guess they wait for their kid to flat out say they're tired of shitting in their pants before proceeding. :c
 
Functional Animal said:
Fucking why? What on earth is the reasoning behind not potty training kids until fucking elementary school? What age would that be, 6 or 7?

How is that a thing?
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There is probably a pintrest post where it says that for the first 9 years of his life Einstein shat himself and did nothing so it is best for your child too
 
MysticMisty said:
Some bullshit about how kids will only be potty trained "when they're ready" and therefore it's better to wait instead of forcing them at two because "it takes the same amount of time anyways". I guess they wait for their kid to flat out say they're tired of shitting in their pants before proceeding. :c
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It's utter nonsense. There are usually time windows for learning things like this and if you miss them, you've fucked up the kid for life.

It's the literal fucking JOB of a parent to socialize children and teach them what they need to know how to do to be full humans. Parents who don't do that really shouldn't even have kids. They're bums.
 
I read about this natural childbirth activist, Sheila Kitzinger. She died last year. Apparently she was sone crazy hippie person and her unorthodox methods caused her five daughters to develop a shit ton of issues. Of the five, most had pretty messed up relationships and only one of them had children of her own.

When it comes to natural birth, I am not much of an expert. But reading up on this woman's life, it made the whole thing seem like a bit of a weird, unhealthy obsession and apparently traumatized the fuck out of her kids.
 
Online Violence said:
I excised someone from my facebook years ago for this sort of shit. In my experience it is intimately tied to bullshit feminist academic ideology, but even further than that a specific sect of it, namely the insane mysticism and worship of the "female" as godlike and sacred. Like those feminist "anthropologists" and "historians" who made up all sorts of nonsense in support of a widespread, powerful and successful matriarchal society in european pre-history that totally existed you gais, but was displaced by evil meany patriarchal ones. And of course it was moral and scientifically advanced and had sets of values surprisingly similar to those of old fat narcissistic shrews thousands of years into the future, by some quirk of destiny.

Anyways, you can argue with doula's about their convictions if you wish, but it's as satisfying as arguing with religious people about their religion, with as much chance of compromise and change.
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Hence why I identify as a Kristevan materialist. Don't ask me what that means. I just like saying that because it makes me sound like I know what I'm talking about.
 
As far as eating placenta, isn't the placenta made up of waste from the baby so in fact they are chowing down on baby shit?
 
So I could be wrong on this, but aren't water births still pretty common practices in hospitals? I know they used to be at least; supposedly it makes the whole process a lot easier. However doing so without any medical assistance and no sterilisation whatsoever is obviously dangerous and fucking insane.
I have a friend who's currently very into medical conspiracy theories. Chemotherapy is a lie to cover up the fact weed/ginger cure cancer (which incidentally is caused by rogue stem cells), the medication and procedures the NHS give people for free are unnecessary and just serve to make big pharma more money and tampons are contaminated. Seriously, she uses homeopathic sanitary towels. She wouldn't go to the doctors about not getting periods because "it's not a problem" and when it magically fell into a cycle again claimed it was due to her magic herbal pantyliners as opposed to her putting on weight and getting the implant. I know she wants kids in the next 10 years and I'm genuinely scared this will be her future (:_( [\Spoiler]
 
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