Natural Birth community - Bringing back paleolithic infant mortality

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She probably absorbed all sorts of mystical powers from that. Are you really judging a woman's way of knowing? It was probably an old ritual that womyn used to practice before being subjugated, revived from the ashes in modern times.
 
There's actually a huge overlap of people who do hippie-style "natural births" and people who eat placentas. IIRC, the placenta is supposed to have "nutrients" or some shit and mystical powers that bless the mother with good breast milk... or something equally stupid and completely unfounded by science.

I have seen pictures of women who put them into smoothies and baked them and done all sorts of fucked up shit with their placentas. It's not a pretty sight and it makes me wonder if any of them understand that they're drinking a period-blood milkshake.

These same women from the powerlevel are the ones who use doulas and incense and water births instead of going to a fucking doctor for their child's sake. They also use essential oils and healing crystals instead of shit like aspirin or x-rays, or proper diagnoses, because ~nature~. I'm sure there are quite a few hysterical cows lying in wait to be milked from all of this, though I personally wouldn't know where to look. The only place I see these types around are Pinterest, shilling their Young Living and Thirty One Bags bullshit.
 
It bugs me how women waste the placenta. It has a group of unspecialized cells that are incredibly good at healing parts of the body.

Don't cook it and denature the cell, donate it and possibly save a life.
 
Bitch I Might Be said:
There's actually a huge overlap of people who do hippie-style "natural births" and people who eat placentas. IIRC, the placenta is supposed to have "nutrients" or some shit and mystical powers that bless the mother with good breast milk... or something equally stupid and completely unfounded by science.

I have seen pictures of women who put them into smoothies and baked them and done all sorts of fucked up shit with their placentas. It's not a pretty sight and it makes me wonder if any of them understand that they're drinking a period-blood milkshake.
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Placenta smoothie? That sounds horrifying.

There are animals that eat their placenta after giving birth, but they're also... well... animals.
 
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall very infamously spent a whole episode of his cooking show making pate out of his wife's placenta.
 
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I watched a deer give birth and afterwards the mother deer ate the placenta. Of course when animals eat the placenta they do it to keep predetors from picking up the scent of afterbirth to find the vulnerable newborn. When humans do it, they just dumb.
Ain't nothing spirtual about it, it's just science
 
Bugaboo said:
I watched a deer give birth and afterwards the mother deer ate the placenta. Of course when animals eat the placenta they do it to keep predetors from picking up the scent of afterbirth to find the vulnerable newborn. When humans do it, they just dumb.
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That poor woman is just protecting the little baby from the ferocious beast called Patriarchy.
 
Bugaboo said:
I watched a deer give birth and afterwards the mother deer ate the placenta. Of course when animals eat the placenta they do it to keep predetors from picking up the scent of afterbirth to find the vulnerable newborn. When humans do it, they just dumb.
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Not to mention creepy, e.g. crazy Tom Cruise.
 
So all this concentrated crazy makes me wonder if there's some kind of interpersonal drama among even their community (just like with your average mommy blogger types who all try to out-parent each other).

Are you like, a higher level/more respectable hippie nut if you give birth completely unassisted? You know, no plants or midwives? What about the dolphin ones, does that put you higher because it's an animal or lower because you're still being assisted? What about those who eat the placenta vs. those who plant it?

(The longer I try to think about it the crazier I feel. I need a fucking drink.)
 
I remember a blogger that gets discussed occasionally ... I think her name was HelenaCreatrix? Something like that. Anyway, she was hardcore hippie in the outback of Australia, and she had about eight kids that were super-naturally-birthed in a bath at home. One of her posts talked about the birth of her twins, one of whom got stuck inside and was born about eighteen hours after the other. It all turned out fine, thank God, but I read that and just kept thinking: what if it hadn't? Shit like that used to kill back in those wonderful olden days.
 
It bugs the shit out of me when people prefer "natural" medicine to modern. They have this extremely mislead belief that the chemicals and techniques of modern medicine aren't derived from preexisting natural laws and substances, only more refined. Like, ho, do you honestly think asprin is somehow different from the same chemical in willow bark? You think the willow has some "mystical" carbon it synthesizes the same fucking 6-membered ring out of? Nigga, it's the exact same thing. What the fuck.
 
Possibly minor :powerlevel: but while I don't know anyone who has done a "natural" birth, I do know of a few individuals who either are or want to become mothers and have discussed eating the placenta after having their baby. I asked them why and none of them had a solid answer, didn't even say "because it has nutrients", just moreso said they wanted to do it because X person did it when they had their kid(s).

They really have no idea what they're talking about. None of these girls do any type of research into the natural birth thing or placenta eating stuff. Makes me fear for their potential future child :heart-empty:
 
Absinthe said:
It bugs the shit out of me when people prefer "natural" medicine to modern. They have this extremely mislead belief that the chemicals and techniques of modern medicine aren't derived from preexisting natural laws and substances, only more refined. Like, ho, do you honestly think asprin is somehow different from the same chemical in willow bark? You think the willow has some "mystical" carbon it synthesizes the same fucking 6-membered ring out of? Nigga, it's the exact same thing. What the fuck.
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They can't grasp that the chemical made in a lab and the chemical synthesized by the plant are the exact same thing because basic logic is shoved aside for not fitting with their fruity delusions. It's like that "chemical free" shit. Normal matter is made up of chemicals. There's really no escaping them.
 
A comedian who was a physicist and who's wife is a surgeon, talks about his prenatal classes with midwives


brilliant!
 
I've no particular objection to the basic concept of natural birth, but these idiots are just being special snowflakes. They're exhibiting an absurdest starry-eyed view of both creation and procreation that is completely misinformed and wildly inaccurate. This doesn't strike me as taking into account what is important for the child at all, just like those crazies in Events & News who continued to feed their baby an all-vegan diet until it died of undernourishment.
 
OK, so I know a woman who is all about natural birth. I did a no pain meds birth until things went tits-up and I had to get a c-section a couple of DAYS after starting labor (sorry for powerlevel, just want to state that I am not 100% against some of the things they talk about and think it's totally up to people pushing a watermelon out a hose whether they want morphine...just not really up to them once their kid's safety is on the line).

So here's the thing, though. This friend and I were supposed to have babies within 2 weeks of each other. She was supposed to go first. Her due date comes and...nothin'. Then my due date comes...I have the kid...and still, nothin' on her end. She started writing me letters about how she was having a "cryptic pregnancy" and how sometimes you could be pregnant for years before having the baby, and how she wasn't going to go to a doctor because this could be "totally normal." I had no idea how to respond so I kind of ghosted. Then she wrote that her birth group had kicked her out because they said no one could be pregnant that long, so she was either delusional or actively faking. The natural childbirth movement basically gave her this attitude that there's never a good reason to see a doctor and that she couldn't possibly be delusional.

I 100% refuse to associate with her now. There's a horrifying thing where some women who experience pseudocyesis (false/hysterical pregnancy, which is what I'm sure my friend is having happen) will actually murder real mothers to take their babies. Some cut them out of the uterus. Once a woman is so certain she's having a kid, they can go totally psycho to make it happen.

The person I feel worst for is her husband, though. And her two existing kids. I have no idea how they are handling "mommy thinks she's going to be pregnant for years."
 
If you have an "easy" pregnancy with no complications, go for it. Just don't do it underwater or some stupid shit, and have a doctor on speed dial.

If you have any problems in your pregnancy, you should probably be in a hospital.
 
I remember these chucklefucks. Back when I was reading Hathor the Cow Goddess a few years ago and wondering what the fuck I was reading, I came across these tards. Also, there's heavy crossover between them and "attachment parenting," autists who won't let their kids have any iota of privacy or hard knocks, so that makes things a bit muddied.

http://www.naturalchild.org/ An epicenter of autism, this is full of articles about how people should birth "naturally," how people who don't parent their way are horrible and cause mass shootings and shit like that, and how you should sleep with your child in the same bed as you.

Some choice articles:

http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/hidden.html Because these autists think that everything is nurture in relation to the first few years of life and there's no choices that adults make themselves to be fucked up like going to prison.
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/john_holt4.html Seeing kids as "cute" is bad, apparently. Because fuck evolution. (Yeah, Kiwis generally dislike kids, but they're talking about people who like kids.)
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/sandy_hook.html Conspiritarding about how Sandy Hooks was caused by not following through with their crap.
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/ingrid_bauer.html Diapers are bad article that says how infants can be not really toilet trained and requires you to be perpetually vigilant so your kid doesn't shit everywhere.
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/elisabeth_hallett3.html "Pre-birth communication."
 
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