minecraft the movie - aka autism the movie; aka stuck in development hell

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
reptile baht spaniard rid said:
Oh the product placement in this movie was fucking weird.

This post brought to you by my JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE which keeps HITTING PEOPLE.

(at least they didn't do anything weird with big-titted villagers for laughs, and accidentally induce puberty in millions of boys and cause a problem worse than furries and bronies for the future to deal with - though the explosion of "big nose romance novels" in 20 years will hit the jews worse than the hall of costs)
Click to expand...
Honesty the only line that made me burst out laughing. Was that.

I have no idea if it’s an actual paid promotion because none of the main characters drive a grand Jeep Cherokee (they all drive shit boxes from the 80s and early 90s) .
I don’t know if they just chose a random car because it’s funny to just name the exact make and model of your car every time, or if it was like the only way they could fit a product placement in…. or if it’s like a spite product placement where maybe Jeep were supposed to sponsor the movie but pulled out so Minecraft decided to make it a vehicular manslaughter car.
Again it did genuinely make me laugh, and I was the only person in the Theatre who laughed so I looked like a psychopath.
 
Raging Capybara said:

Weekend predictions: Minecraft heading to monster opening​


For now, there’s a fairly high degree of uncertainty on where the film might land, but it seems very likely to top $100 million, and could go quite a bit higher. The $146 million earned by The Super Mario Bros. Movie back in 2023 is surely out of reach, but this is feeling like another absolute blockbuster of a weekend for a long-awaited video-game adaptation.
Click to expand...
I love the cope everybody is making now in how it was always going to be successful when just a few months ago everybody was saying it was going to be a flop and massive waste of time that came out way too late. Reminds me of the Barbie movie.

Saw it with the family, and it was fun. Everybody in the theater loved it. A movie doesn't have to be more than that. Only redditors think every fucking movie in existence needs to be deep or "meaningful" and they're autistic weirdos.
 
Null said:
anything indian sucks bro
Click to expand...
I got drunk while watching it with a few people.
We found the most jeetified version we could because we wanted the full saar experience. Which was the shitty unfinished green screen one.
The jeets were so awful they inserted a bunch of crypto scam ads into the movie. It kept pausing at important moments and telling us in hindu or some shit to go to their bitcoin casinos or their rugpull currencies with indian actors.

It honestly added to the experience. It was magical. This movie was so bad it was good. Not good in the sense you'd pay to see it, but in the sense - they were so jew with this movie they turned to literal street shitters who sold it off the second they got their poo hands on it. And the worst part is I think Hollywood will still go back to these guys and do it again.
The movie was an absolute mess, the plot was terrible, the pacing was terrible, the CGI was the only good part and that was because it was terrible.

What the fuck were they thinking?
Why was what looked like a 12 year old driving a car and taking care of her 8 year old brother?

What was with the extremely sexual dirty jokes in a movie I thought was for kids?
There were extremely graphic and violent scenes of people burning to death in agony in a KIDS MOVIE. Sure they were monster people or CG people, but they looked like they were in absolute agony.
I can't believe this movie exists.

JACK BLACK AT LEAST 4 SONGS AND EACH WAS WORSE THAN THE PRIOR.
 
Also i know its because i'm one of thoses "soul vs souless" autistic retards who deserve death but i think i enjoy the shitty CGI better.
TenMilesWide said:
Jack deleted the real movie so the studio would have no choice but to accept his no-budget half-remembered fan recreation. This is a known strategy of his.
Click to expand...
this film was the exact opposite of Minecraft, it came out at the most perfect time, literally everyone on youtube in late 2000s youtube were all about recreating their favorite stuff from movies and tv shows, for fucks sake look at smosh lipsynching pokemon. So many people, even those that never saw the movie were already doing shit similar to it. the film also flopped massively.
Seafarer said:
Autism expanded universe. We just need an after credits scene for the next movie where Chris Chan puts on the Sonichu medallion and says “fine, I’ll do it myself :evil:
Click to expand...
the end credits scene in minecraft is of an overweight manchild in a striped shirt following an animal resembling Sonic into another dimension. it would be extremely easy to change this into a Chris chan/Sonichu scene.
 
CKEN JOCKEN JOCKEN JOCKEN JOCKEY The Nether Enderpearl Flint and Steve CHICKEY The Nether Enderpearl Flint and Steel I am Steve CHICKEY The Nether Enderpearl Flint and Steve CHICKEY The Nether Enderpearl Flint and Steve CHICKEY The Nether Enderpearl Flint and Steel I am Steve CHICKEN JOCKEY The Nether Enderpearl Flint and Steve CHICKEY The Nether Enderpearl Flint and Steel I am Steve CHICKEN JOCKEY The Nether Enderpearl Flint and Steve CHICKEN JOCKEN JOCKEN JOCKEN JOCKEN JOCKEN JOCKEN JOCKEN JOCKEY
 
I watched it last night in the kinoplex on cytube. It was the SAARS edition. And I'm not sure if its because I had a couple of shots of vodka expecting the worse, the pajeet pop ins, Robert having loading issues at the most appropriate times, the unfinished CGI due to it being an incomplete workprint or the amount of people commenting in chat, but damn...I liked it

7lxcpjr8qb7.png
 
Last edited:
Does anyone have a non-workprint camrip of this? I want to watch it with a friend of mine but he refuses to watch the workprint version because "muh intended experience". I found a streaming site that's got an ok-looking version of it but I'd rather have it saved locally. Godsneed.
 
HYPERSKITZO said:
Does anyone have a non-workprint camrip of this? I want to watch it with a friend of mine but he refuses to watch the workprint version because "muh intended experience". I found a streaming site that's got an ok-looking version of it but I'd rather have it saved locally. Godsneed.
Click to expand...
Usually you can gauge how good a movie is by how slowly it gets ripped.

So this should be out in like 3 days.
 
mindlessobserver said:
Considering Warner Bros has driven all their IP from Looney toons to DC into the dirt, theh definitely needed a win. And a new IP to Mine.

(Sorry)
Click to expand...
They better double down on how stupid it is, like at this point just don't even pretend to be serious at all.

Its honestly amazing that the Minecraft movie really has the most honest trailers in a long time.
 
TrainWreckWatcher said:
I got drunk while watching it with a few people.
We found the most jeetified version we could because we wanted the full saar experience. Which was the shitty unfinished green screen one.
The jeets were so awful they inserted a bunch of crypto scam ads into the movie. It kept pausing at important moments and telling us in hindu or some shit to go to their bitcoin casinos or their rugpull currencies with indian actors.

It honestly added to the experience. It was magical. This movie was so bad it was good. Not good in the sense you'd pay to see it, but in the sense - they were so jew with this movie they turned to literal street shitters who sold it off the second they got their poo hands on it. And the worst part is I think Hollywood will still go back to these guys and do it again.
The movie was an absolute mess, the plot was terrible, the pacing was terrible, the CGI was the only good part and that was because it was terrible.

What the fuck were they thinking?
Why was what looked like a 12 year old driving a car and taking care of her 8 year old brother?

What was with the extremely sexual dirty jokes in a movie I thought was for kids?
There were extremely graphic and violent scenes of people burning to death in agony in a KIDS MOVIE. Sure they were monster people or CG people, but they looked like they were in absolute agony.
I can't believe this movie exists.

JACK BLACK AT LEAST 4 SONGS AND EACH WAS WORSE THAN THE PRIOR.
Click to expand...
Send the link for the indian crypto scam version
 
My teenagers went and saw it today. Said everyone was cheering and freaking out at the meme parts. They described it as "the best bad movie they've ever seen." It sounds like everyone has a lot of fun doing the theatre experience with this one. It's like their generation's version of Rocky horror picture show. Very cute!
 
I've seen both the Saars cut and the official movie.

I'd say if you've got a pass and can see it for free, it's worth going with friends to laugh at it (the official version)

I will say the Saars cut is superior because as a comedy movie, it is indisputably immensely funnier
 
Lincoln Osiris said:
Send the link for the indian crypto scam version
Click to expand...
The Link I had is unfortunately no longer available. WB got it.

SlipNHonkMach2 said:
I watched it last night in the kinoplex on cytube. It was the SAARS edition. And I'm not sure if its because I had a couple of shots of vodka expecting the worse, the pajeet pop ins, Robert having loading issues at the most appropriate times, the unfinished CGI due to it being an incomplete workprint or the amount of people commenting in chat, but damn...I liked it

View attachment 7185478
Click to expand...
Is your version still available?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom