Lolcow Cartoonists

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I think John K, deep down, is just a more successful Jon Sweet.

He's obsessed with bodily functions and farts and feces, reactionary as hell, and most of his writing is him bleating like a shit-covered animal over imaginary slights when its plainly obvious he was insufferable to be around.

Whether or not he's an insufferable asshole, and the jury is out for me on whether he is always and invariably one, he's actually created worthwhile things. That takes him out of that realm.

His personality may have a lot to do with why he is basically persona non grata in the industry, but Sweet will never, ever create anything remotely worthwhile.

John K's opinions are still usually worth something, even if you have to correct them for John K's CrazyVision.
 
Never really liked Ren and Stimpy (relied too often on vulgarity), but I have heard some pretty nasty things about John K. While I don't really dislike him, his constant shitting on cartoons that aren't his is incredibly dickish.
Yeah, I don't get it myself. I mean sure, you're entitled to have your opinions (I for one am not a huge fan of most shows post-2000 and outright hate some, like MLP). But when you go out and say "Oh everything that isn't my stuff, 1940s Loony Tunes or 1960s Hanna-Barbera sucks." You're setting yourself up for hate, big time.
 
I've said this before -- on this and other threads -- and in many ways it already goes without saying; but in addition to being a complete cunt, Ted Rall is also a massive coward and could file for moral bankruptcy faster than Ethan Couch:

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Every year at least one celebrity compares being photographed by the paparazzi to being gangraped, but even the autistic singularity known as Kanye West has yet to compare his work not being picked up in certain retail chains to a terrorist massacre. This is deplorable even by the standards of a man who said the filmmakers of The Interview committed "something just short of an act of war" in a pathetic attempt to justify the Sony hacks.

It's nice to know he'd assuredly say the same thing about Paramount Pictures in 1999, or even Columbia Pictures in 1939. Clearly they too committed acts of war:


 
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From what I read of a guy named Ben Garrison, he reminds me of an obnoxious libertarian version of Dobson. The smugness is palpable.

Still, what 4chan has done to him is just plumb mean. Even worse than any weening of Dobbo. It's pretty hilarious, though, and only helped by the fact that his cartoons, while actually reasonably well executed, are almost all to such a rote script that you can easily throw in le happy merchant to make them blatantly anti-Semitic.
 
Still, what 4chan has done to him is just plumb mean. Even worse than any weening of Dobbo. It's pretty hilarious, though, and only helped by the fact that his cartoons, while actually reasonably well executed, are almost all to such a rote script that you can easily throw in le happy merchant to make them blatantly anti-Semitic.

Zyklon Ben is cool. By this point he's clearly having fun with the trolls.

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Bill Jemas, author of Marville. It was intended to be a superhero satire, and quickly devolved into a tract on his ideas on politics, science, and religion, with Jemas saying that if we could appreciate his ideas, there would be peace upon earth.

The very first scene has Ted Turner save the world, which he purchased and named after himself, from a meteor, by karate chopping it in half. But the world needs to be saved again, so a time machine made out of "Playstation 1 parts and Atari controllers" is built to sent Tunrner son's, AOL (ha, he named his kid after a corporation! Witty!) back in time. First thing's first after this amazing feat, a trip to the bank:
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AOL is shocked to see barbaric street violence by billionaire Tony Stark, who has outsourced jobs to Mexico. But luck is on his side:

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After stopping kingpin Spike Lee, the art budget runs out, and a new goal is forged, traveling back in time to meet God himself:
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After traveling to dawn of time, our heroes meet God, or Jack, in the form of a black man hung "like an African fertility god". They then proceed to go skinny-dipping:
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God wants to teach our protagonists the story of life so they visit "the Jurassic Park era" (yes the author thinks the film's name refers to a time period not a place). After another art shift, the gang finds dinosaurs and God preaches anti-intellectualism. We cannot be enlightened less we destroy ourselves:
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The cast then debates the mystery of Neanderthal extinction, and God is furious when it is suggested that they died as a result of genocide. The time traveling adventures then come to an end, the author's manifesto fulfilled. I don't know what political ideology this is, but it will probably primary Trump in 2020.
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Bill Jemas, author of Marville. It was intended to be a superhero satire, and quickly devolved into a tract on his ideas on politics, science, and religion, with Jemas saying that if we could appreciate his ideas, there would be peace upon earth.

The very first scene has Ted Turner save the world, which he purchased and named after himself, from a meteor, by karate chopping it in half. But the world needs to be saved again, so a time machine made out of "Playstation 1 parts and Atari controllers" is built to sent Tunrner son's, AOL (ha, he named his kid after a corporation! Witty!) back in time. First thing's first after this amazing feat, a trip to the bank:
View attachment 187751
AOL is shocked to see barbaric street violence by billionaire Tony Stark, who has outsourced jobs to Mexico. But luck is on his side:

rushhero.jpg

After stopping kingpin Spike Lee, the art budget runs out, and a new goal is forged, traveling back in time to meet God himself:
moneygift.jpg

After traveling to dawn of time, our heroes meet God, or Jack, in the form of a black man hung "like an African fertility god". They then proceed to go skinny-dipping:
View attachment 187753
God wants to teach our protagonists the story of life so they visit "the Jurassic Park era" (yes the author thinks the film's name refers to a time period not a place). After another art shift, the gang finds dinosaurs and God preaches anti-intellectualism. We cannot be enlightened less we destroy ourselves:
View attachment 187754
The cast then debates the mystery of Neanderthal extinction, and God is furious when it is suggested that they died as a result of genocide. The time traveling adventures then come to an end, the author's manifesto fulfilled. I don't know what political ideology this is, but it will probably primary Trump in 2020.
easyjack.jpg
Has there ever been a point where Rush looked anything like that?
 
Bill Jemas, author of Marville. It was intended to be a superhero satire, and quickly devolved into a tract on his ideas on politics, science, and religion, with Jemas saying that if we could appreciate his ideas, there would be peace upon earth.

The very first scene has Ted Turner save the world, which he purchased and named after himself, from a meteor, by karate chopping it in half. But the world needs to be saved again, so a time machine made out of "Playstation 1 parts and Atari controllers" is built to sent Tunrner son's, AOL (ha, he named his kid after a corporation! Witty!) back in time. First thing's first after this amazing feat, a trip to the bank:
View attachment 187751
AOL is shocked to see barbaric street violence by billionaire Tony Stark, who has outsourced jobs to Mexico. But luck is on his side:

rushhero.jpg

After stopping kingpin Spike Lee, the art budget runs out, and a new goal is forged, traveling back in time to meet God himself:
moneygift.jpg

After traveling to dawn of time, our heroes meet God, or Jack, in the form of a black man hung "like an African fertility god". They then proceed to go skinny-dipping:
View attachment 187753
God wants to teach our protagonists the story of life so they visit "the Jurassic Park era" (yes the author thinks the film's name refers to a time period not a place). After another art shift, the gang finds dinosaurs and God preaches anti-intellectualism. We cannot be enlightened less we destroy ourselves:
View attachment 187754
The cast then debates the mystery of Neanderthal extinction, and God is furious when it is suggested that they died as a result of genocide. The time traveling adventures then come to an end, the author's manifesto fulfilled. I don't know what political ideology this is, but it will probably primary Trump in 2020.
easyjack.jpg
God, that thing was a piece of crap.
 
Chuck Jones is not a lolcow. Geniuses are not lolcows.
But he does have some lolcow-ish tendencies. One of the characters he created (that horny, French skunk Pepe Le Pew) is said to be a caricature of a Looney Tunes writer named Tedd Pierce who had bad body odor and hit on every chick he saw and Chuck Jones' own insecurities about getting women when he was younger.
 
But he does have some lolcow-ish tendencies. One of the characters he created (that horny, French skunk Pepe Le Pew) is said to be a caricature of a Looney Tunes writer named Tedd Pierce who had bad body odor and hit on every chick he saw and Chuck Jones' own insecurities about getting women when he was younger.

Except he freely admits to that in his autobiography, and that he always drew Bugs Bunny as the kind of person he wished he could be, and Daffy Duck as "Who I fear I really am". Self-introspection is not a cow trait, and we all take cues from those around us when doing art, especially satire and humor. I don't think he's a cow.

Most of his complaints about Who Framed Roger Rabbit were that due to contractual obligations that forced the characters to never have more screentime than ones from Disney forced them into short cameos, and they used the "Screwy" version of Daffy Duck that Jones inherited when he took over WB, not the vain and scheming "shoot him! It's wabbit season!" one he eventually was retconned into under Jones' watch and that he didn't like the art style, which I don't think is fair, this was hand-drawn stuff that had to go into a live action film BEFORE the advent of CGI. Cut your cel-washers some slack.

The only thing I can think of that may make Jones a bit lolcowy is that he maybe did get a bit crotchety and defensive over his work while his production dropped off (but, those are both a consequence of getting older that everyone is going to suffer from, not just cows). He really didn't have any large successes post WB cartoons with the exception of the Grinch, and his tenure on the Tom and Jerry cartoons was his nadir. Even his fans agree that under his helm they lost any chance at staying relevant because of horrid off-model character designs and jokes/pacing that fell flat without dialogue. (You'd think the Roadrunner cartoons would mean he'd be able to duplicate the slapstick chase formula, but he didn't)

Only those weird and utterly unfunny ones that Gene Deitch outsourced to actual communists saved Jones from being crowed "Worst Tom and Jerry Artist Ever"

But he had far more successes than failures, didn't inject personal politics into his work, really wanted his audience to enjoy the ride and never have I seen anyone say a bad thing about him who worked under him (Bob Clampett was the real "you'll never appreciate my art" ego at WB, apparently, and even he's pretty mild) \

Cow "Creep" where you start to throw the label on anyone who ever had a bad day and suffered a meltdown is easy to do when you're trying to build lists like these, but step back and ask yourself, is he REALLY one when you stand him next to John K, Dobby or whoever it was that did Mallard Fillmore?
 
Cow "Creep" where you start to throw the label on anyone who ever had a bad day and suffered a meltdown is easy to do when you're trying to build lists like these, but step back and ask yourself, is he REALLY one when you stand him next to John K, Dobby or whoever it was that did Mallard Fillmore?
I remember years ago how the creator of Mallard Fillmore was arrested for drunk driving and he had to go without his car for a while. He tried to patch the whole mess up by having his duck avatar claim he's now riding a bike due to convenience and to show up left wingers who do that for environmental reasons.

Another "great" lolcow cartoonist would be Jim Mathers, the creator of Neurotically Yours. I really liked his old stuff back in the late 90s where he actually let Foamy the squirrel lose at times and his rants were fun. After a while, Foamy got more self-rightous and Mathers started turning Germaine (Foamy's human roommate) from a flakey, yet likable goth chick to a pathetic fat slut who was constantly humiliated (like getting her ass eaten out against her will while reading feminist poetry and then accidentally farted on the woman while getting jizzed on the face), got obese, shown to be a big whore and often insulted by Foamy. Mathers started getting upset about the people on YouTube for being prudes when they didn't want him to have a scene where Germaine is laying on her bed and spraying cum out of her butt like a geyser.

When some of the fans started calling him on his treatment of Germaine since she pretty much was humiliated (usually sexually) in every episode and constantly called a lazy whore (when she's the one with a job while Foamy sits on his ass). So he created about a 10 minute video ranting at the fans for being so stupid for not getting his profound message and character building (the video was called, "Germaine for Stupids"). To him is was a complex character study where the constant jizz on her face is a metaphor for how men want to own her, the suicide episode years ago that was played for laughs was a serious look into her character, that her getting fat was her way of keeping men from hurting her and berates the naysayers for calling her a whore, fat or a loser when Foamy is constantly insulting her for these very traits. In the end, she goes on a self-discovery trip, comes back to Foamy, admitting she's a pathetic loser she is and he never has to answer for his crap. Sadly, the reboot still portrayed her as a dumb slut.

Then again, I think Mathers has major issues with women. Most of them are either killed or portrayed as dumb sluts. (The bigger the boobs, the smaller the brains). Even in his old comic about an elitist music store employee.
 
Did anyone mention Skyler Page and how he was accuse of sexual harassment yet? Cause I think that puts in the grounds of being a Careercow.
 
Did anyone mention Skyler Page and how he was accuse of sexual harassment yet? Cause I think that puts in the grounds of being a Careercow.

Skylar Page iirc is bi-polar or has schizophrenia or both and he wasn't on his meds. The whole debacle was really sad when it came to light because everyone conveniently ignored he had legitimate mental problems and went straight to white male pervert syndrome and turned on him fast. Last i checked he was in a mental hospital and Clarence ended a month or so ago.
 
Ever since I found the Kiwi Farms, I've been perplexed at the total absence of Scott Kurtz, creator of PvP. Enormous ego, known for picking fights with people for no reason whatsoever, perennial burner of bridges, wild swings in artwork quality, obnoxious SJW virtue signalling ... and he's roughly the size of a Jovian moon.

I can only assume he doesn't show up here either because PvP is relatively successful and, sadly, he was an innovator of webcomics ... or because he's become completely irrelevant.
 
Ever since I found the Kiwi Farms, I've been perplexed at the total absence of Scott Kurtz, creator of PvP. Enormous ego, known for picking fights with people for no reason whatsoever, perennial burner of bridges, wild swings in artwork quality, obnoxious SJW virtue signalling ... and he's roughly the size of a Jovian moon.

I can only assume he doesn't show up here either because PvP is relatively successful and, sadly, he was an innovator of webcomics ... or because he's become completely irrelevant.

por que no los does?
 
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