Let's Sperg Let's Play Laser Squad (1992 PC Release) (Completed) - Holiday Special

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
8. Mission 4: The Cyber Hordes

1.png

I could somehow afford what everyone requested this time around. A-Z-09 and Genichiro were armed with the new L80 Lasgun that will hopefully prove itself better than the diminutive L50 Lasgun used previously.

6.png
2.png

This map is, again, fucking massive, though thankfully the enemy will only be coming at us from a single entrance. There are multiple power cores we need to defend, including some a fair distance away to the extreme west of the map that we cannot possibly hope to save in time.

3.png


(Oasis - Fuckin In The Bushes, Instrumental Version)

7.png
8.png
10.png
12.png
14.png
15.png

I do my level best to get everyone spread out. Arm_of_the_lord is sent east on his own to cover a possible flanking location while the rest of the squad is concentrated on the numerous hallways leading from the airlock to the center of the base.

Enemies.png

This is what we're up against. If they're anything like Regnix's droids, then we might be in trouble.

16.png
17.png
18.png
19.png

Genichiro spots our first enemy and lands a good clean hit, but unfortunately misses the second shot. i actually have enough AP left to have him step back and out of the line of fire.

21.png
22.png
23.png
24.png

I score first blood on the next enemy. The L80 seems like a decent weapon though I notice it has no autofire.

25.png
31.png

After the enemy turn passes I have Genichiro step back into the line of fire to see what we can get a look at.

27.png
28.png

He spots the biggest robot any of the Squad has ever seen. This can only be the Battle Droid, a heavily armored unit designed to mow down whole armies on the battlefield. Fortunately its not designed to maneuver in tight corridors and thus at something of a disadvantage, but its still going to be the closest thing to a boss fight this game has.

29.png
32.png

Genichiro scores a hit but it just bounces off the droid's thick armor plating. Wtfneedsignup, hobbled as he is by the immense weight of his autocannon, manages to join the battle and gets set up. Hopefully the high explosive rounds of the Autocannon will be able to bring the monster down.

33.png
34.png
35.png

While that's going down I get Goyaanisqatsi set up one hallway down, and keep Arm_of_the_lord headed towards the southeast.

36.png
37.png

A turn passes without incident and I'm finally ready to have Wtfneedsignup step in and take a shot.

38.png
39.png
40.png
41.png

Direct hit! The Autocannon round goes off with roughly the force of a regular grenade.

43.png
42.png

Shit, it tanked it! The Cyber Droid behind it wasn't even destroyed!

44.png
45.png
46.png

I used up all of Wtfneedsignup's AP getting him into position, so he's just a sitting duck now. At the very least I manage to get Arm_of_the_lord into place, but if that dreadnaught steamrolls my heavy weapons I have no idea how we're going to bring it down. I move Genichiro down more incase the Battle Droid has a rocket launcher or something, better safe than sorry. I did have enough cash to equip Disc with an AP75 heavy grenade, but I have no idea how I can possibly get him close enough to use it.

47.png
48.png
49.png
50.png

Goyaanisqatsi shows us all that the Heavy Laser is useful for more than just spraying from the hip as he takes out one of the weedly little Patrol Droids with a precision Aimed Shot.

9.png

The enemy turn passes without Wtfneedsignup getting wasted by the Battle Droid, much to my relief.

51.png
52.png

I finally get A-Z-09 into position covering the third hallway, while also moving Arm_of_the_lord over to cover a pair of hallways to to southwest. If the enemy comes at Arm with any serious amount of force he's probably fucked though.

53.png
54.png
56.png
67.png

Wtfneedsignup scores his first kill on a Patrol Droid that stupidly wanders into his line of fire.

68.png
69.png
70.png
71.png
72.png
73.png

Goyaanisqatsi scores another kill, taking out a Cyber Droid.

74.png
75.png
76.png

Jesus! The Battle Droid returns fire, and whatever that thing is packing, it is indeed explosive. It hits Goyaanisqatsi right on the chin and blows up in his face, though surprisingly it only manages to kill @Genichiro who ended up being caught in the blast after I moved him away from Wtfneedsignup to avoid this exact thing.

77.png
78.png
79.png
80.png

Goyaanisqatsi does get the chance to answer in kind with reaction fire, though this of course bounces off the Battle Droid again to no visible effect.

82.png
83.png

Wtfneedsignup at least adds another enemy Patrol Droid to their list of casualties.

84.png
85.png
86.png
87.png

The enemy turn still isn't fucking over yet though, as the Battle Droid was just getting warmed up earlier. It opens up again, blowing @Goyaanisqatsi to pieces and then landing a round right on me. Fortunately my armor manages to tank the hit like Goyaan somehow did his with first hit earlier.

88.png
89.png
90.png
91.png
92.png
93.png

It's finally Laser Squad's turn again, and I decide to bank on the Battle Droid already being heavily damaged by the other hits it has sustained. I land two shots with the L80 rifle right on it.

94.png

No dice.

95.png
96.png

Having used up all of my AP on that hopeless attack, I move Polyboros back up to cover the gap that my inevitable death will leave in our defenses.

102.png
103.png
104.png

Wtfneedsignup adds to his rapidly expanding killcount by taking out a Cyber Droid on the enemy turn.

105.png
106.png
107.png

The Battle Droid, as predicted, makes short work of me.

108.png
109.png
110.png
111.png

More bad news arrives when the enemy wipes out two of our power cores.

112.png

The enemy score went up fucking 40 points just from those two core kills! We've killed six enemies and barely made it to 30.

113.png
114.png
115.png

Polyboros moves up to cover the gap in our defenses, hopefully he can prevent Wtfneedsignup from being flanked. I move Disc up too, but ignore his repeated requests to have him charge down the hall so he can "hit them with my sword!".

117.png
118.png
120.png

Wtfneedsignup bags another Cyber Droid, even taking out a Patrol Droid behind it in the blast!

121.png

Evidently each Droid is worth 3 points.

123.png
124.png
126.png
127.png

Moving my troops would be suicide at this point so I just have everyone remain in place. Wtfneedsignup is basically a turret right now given how little AP he has to move with, but he excels in this role, bagging two more kills.

129.png
130.png
131.png
133.png
134.png
135.png

A-Z-09 gets reaction fire on the enemy turn and then has a clean shot on my turn.

136.png

But I decide not to risk a third shot even though she has a fair chance of killing the enemy.

140.png
141.png
144.png
146.png
148.png
149.png

Wtfneedsignup, Hero of the Rebellion, stands his ground and manages to bag two more kills. His ninth quarry, another Cyber Droid, shrugs off the last shot in his belt

150.png
151.png
152.png
153.png

The enemy returns fire and scores a hit, which the paper thin Armor 1 shockingly absorbs. Wtfneedsignup is able to duck out of fire and reload his Autocannon.

160.png
161.png
162.png

As Wtfneedsignup is getting back into position, the enemy A-Z-09 was trying to take out comes up the hallway. It turns out the enemy was not only one shot away from death as it absorbs a third hit. Then a fourth.

163.png

Fuck.

164.png
165.png
166.png

The Cyber Droid waxes @A-Z0-9 but fortunately runs out of AP.

167.png
168.png
169.png

I take no chances and have Polyboros magdump into the bastard, we can't afford another loss. He gets him.

170.png
171.png

Arm_of_the_lord is probably no use to us where he's at, so I have him cross the base to meet up with the rest of the squad since we could really use every extra gun at this point. I have him move into that hallway just to his left in the second screenshot, which should give him sufficient angle to cover anything that comes at him from either side or through that central door.

173.png
174.png
175.png
176.png
177.png
178.png

Polyboros magdumps into a Patrol Droid that rolls in. His down to three shots in his magazine, but at least he's got another kill.

179.png
180.png
182.png
183.png

Wtfneedsignup bags two more Patrol Droids himself. I have no idea where that Cyber Droid he was having a showdown with earlier got to.

184.png

Disc's Light Sabre and grenades are of little use with the layout of this map so I have him pick up A-Z-09's L80 Lasgun.

185.png
186.png
187.png
188.png
Wtfneedsignup continues to reduce Patrol Droids to slag.

189.png
190.png
191.png

A Cyber Droid successfully circumvents our defenses and wipes out two more Power Cores, bringing the Droid team's score up to 80.

192.png
193.png
194.png

However, the explosion from the Power Cores going up also blows the doors off the small room, giving Arm_of_the_lord a clear shot straight through. The Cyber Droid dies in only one pistol hit, leading me to believe this is the one Wtfneedsignup had a showdown with up above.

195.png
196.png
197.png
199.png
200.png
Disc manages to get in on the carnage by junking a Cyber Droid that comes down the hallway at him while Wtfneedsignup slags another Patrol Droid.

201.png
202.png

Wtfneedsignup has managed to achieve the only actual fucking Running Riot I have seen in any of my LPs, with an astonishing fifteen kills with his autocannon. The title of this mission did not lie, the enemy seems almost endless, and that Battle Droid is still lurking around somewhere.

203.png
204.png
205.png

Polyboros engages a Cyber Droid that came up his hallway, using aimed shots since he's down to the bottom of his magazine.

206.png
207.png

Both are good hits but the Cyber Droid is still on his feet. @Polyboros2 is gunned down.

208.png
209.png

Even worse, when I move @Arm_of_the_Lord up to assist, thinking the Droid has got to be out of AP, it scores reaction fire and wastes him too!

211.png
212.png
213.png
214.png

I'm about ready to quit and savescum at this point, but I keep it going just for the Hell of it. Wtfneedsignup may be down to just one squad member left and about half a belt of ammo, but he's not done yet. He takes out another Patrol Droid and manages to land a hit on a Cyber Droid. There's apparently enough enemies on the map now that their animations are starting to glitch out.

216.png
lsqdbcc_865.png
217.png

Disc isn't out of the fight yet either, he wastes another Cyber Droid.

218.png
219.png
220.png
221.png

The enemy turn passes without the surviving Cyber Droid taking a shot at Wtf. He thanks him kindly by turning him into shrapnel.

222.png


(Matt Furniss - Laser Squad Battle Results Screen)

...which to my surprise ends the scenario, as apparently 100 Victory Points is all we needed. I guess I should have paid more attention to the manual.

Casualties (Total Kills):
Llama King (0)
White Devil (0)
Moths (0)
NerdShamer (0)
Genichiro (0)
Goyaanisqatsi (2)
L50LasPak (1)
A-Z-09 (0)
Polyboros2 (2)
Arm_of_the_Lord (1)

Survivors (Total Kills):
Bookmark Cuck (2)
Neo-Holstien (0)
JongleJingle (3)
Mooger Meng (1)
SilenceIsViolence (2)
JohnDoe (4)
ChucklesTheJester (1)
Disc (2)
Wtfneedsignup (17)

Observations:
  • Assuming you don't need to go anywhere with it, the Autocannon is the most hilariously broken weapon in the game, with a fairly accurate aimed shot, a decently large belt size and a shockingly low AP cost to fire. Wtfneedsignup could fire two aimed shots per turn, allowing him to basically smoke anything that made it into his line of fire. He did get lucky a few times with enemies not taking him out though.
  • The Autocannon's balance is that its extremely heavy however, I could barely move Wtfneedsignup around most of the time. If this were a mission where he had to be mobile instead of just camping like he did, I somehow doubt he'd have performed as spectacularly.
  • The L80 Lasgun is a definite improvement over the L50. It's very accurate, packs a decent punch, and most importantly is fairly light. I named myself after the wrong weapon. Then again L50 rolls of the tongue better.
  • I have genuinely no idea if the Battle Droid was invincible or if it was just particularly badass and I didn't have the right equipment to deal with it. I also have no idea if it respawns or not. I fucking hope it doesn't given how tough it is. In the 2 Player version of this mission, one player does have access to the Battle Droid so I presume it can eventually be whittled down and killed.
5.png

This mission was a gigantic bitch to complete. On the plus side I did figure out how to savescum like a bitch in this game; this is the bugged out Save/Load screen of the game. Editing the screenshots to add character names also took me significantly longer than I expected due to just how long the mission went on for, which is why it also took me forever to get this thread updated.

Only one more mission to go, then this bitch is toast and we can get back to XPiratez. I'm still well ahead of my "before the end of January" target time so I'm thinking next week will be the last.
 

Attachments

  • 142.png
    142.png
    7.9 KB · Views: 26
  • 137.png
    137.png
    8.2 KB · Views: 24
  • 188.png
    188.png
    8 KB · Views: 27
  • 106.png
    106.png
    8 KB · Views: 46
Last edited:
Wtfneedsignup facing his prey, 30xx
GonnaGet.jpg

(immediately thought of this meme when I saw his portrait)
 
Holy shit that was brutal as fuck, Disc and WTF are the galaxy number one most wanted. This next mission will hopefully not be as devastating.
 
"Oh hey, this song sounds kinda familiar. Where have I heard it bef-"
>01:32
For every action, there's a reaction. And a Kiwi reaction... is quite a fuckin' sight.
Holy hell, this was an absolute slobberknocker. Semper Fi to all are armed Kiwis out there setting WTF up to clean house.
 
Interlude/Bonus: Mr Velcro Fastener ft Laser Squad - Which Scenario?

Album Cover.png
Record Pic.png

In 1999 Finnish electronic artist Mr. Velcro Fastener released a short album directly crediting Laser Squad and featuring five tracks each named after the five scenarios contained in the game. I thought it would be a neat addition to this thread to bring this up, but that led me down a small obscure music rabbit hole. For the longest time I could only find two of these tracks on Youtube. I checked MVF's website, which just leads to his Bandcamp, and all the links on Wikipedia, but none of them have a location where you can listen to the rest of the album or even purchase the digital tracks. Infact I often couldn't find anything relating to this album at all.

I did try to get in touch with the man for the record, but his accounts have been inactive for awhile and he never got back to me. Long story short, I tracked down a physical copy of this album and I'm ripping it here for everyone to enjoy. I feel justified in doing so for the following reasons:
  • I was obviously unable to contact him.
  • I could not find the music available anywhere else, other than the two tracks (Cyber Hordes and Paradise Valley) which are for free on Youtube.
  • This particular album, apparently sold only on his Lucky Bastards Tour in 1999, is rare and I only found a single auction for it. I may be one of the only people with this album in their collection. If my house burns down, that could very well be the end of these tracks. I think they're worth preserving.
  • I don't think MVF had the Laser Squad license in the first place so I doubt these are under a strict copyright.
  • Its been 23 years, I'd be surprised if the dude remembers these exist.
  • I had to rip these myself using a cheap USB turntable, they're not ideal quality. An official release would presumably be superior, if there is one.
If I hear from the man after this and he has a problem with the tracks being up here, I will remove them.

His website (Just leads to a Bandcamp page): https://mrvelcrofastener.com/
Note that there is a version of Moonbase Assault for sale on his Bandcamp, but its not the same as the one on the album. It appears to be an updated re-release. If you like what you see here, please support the artist, maybe we can motivate an official release!
Which Scenario?


The Assassins


Moonbase Assault (1999 Version)


The Mine Rescue


The Cyber Hordes


Paradise Valley

The tracks don't really sound a whole lot like the music that plays during the intros they are named after, but they're still an interesting curiosity.

Update May 3rd 2022: As of April 1st this year someone else has finally had the same idea I did. Their recording is a bit better than mine, but they also chose some weird spots to break up the tracks. Decide for yourself which you prefer, still no official release.
 

Attachments

Last edited:
Long story short, I tracked down a physical copy of this album and I'm ripping it here for everyone to enjoy.
Talk about going above and beyond for your thread! Jesus, man.
These are actually a fascinating little nugget, not just that someone made a few (unofficial) companion pieces for a game that most people nowadays have never heard of, but they fit pretty well with what we've seen of the missions so far. Hopefully you haven't put yourself out too badly for the sake of digging up ancient gold for a silly thread in a world-infamous shitposting forum, but we thank you all the same.
 
At least I managed to fire off a single shot before getting wasted.

I might have died with no kills to my name but holy fuck being in the same squad as Wtfneedsignup made the entire thing worth it.

EDIT: Also thank you for the effort you put into this, this is amazing dedication to making this LP enjoyable.
 
Hopefully you haven't put yourself out too badly for the sake of digging up ancient gold for a silly thread in a world-infamous shitposting forum, but we thank you all the same.
I ultimately ended up paying in the neighborhood of $60 USD for the album, half of which was in shipping costs since I had to order it from the UK. I'm not a vinyl hipster so that's far and away the most I've ever spent on an LP, but I've also known about this album distantly for a couple of years now and just never had a reason to follow up on it.

To my immense irritation there is now another auction for this album up, from Italy no less, for half the price. Damnit.
 
9. Mission 5: Paradise Valley Intro & Select Arms

squad_005.png

This is it, last mission.

Paradise Valley Manual Entry.png



(Matt Furniss - Paradise Valley)

intro3_001.png
intro3_002.png

This would appear to be one of the only frames in this game that's not from the movie Alien. If anyone recognizes it let me know, I'm putting a bonus post together on that one of these days.


(Matt Furniss - Laser Squad Stats Screen)

Returning: @Disc, @wtfNeedSignUp

Resurrected Dead: @L50LasPak, @White Devil, @Moths, @NerdShamer, @Llama king

1 L50LasPak.png
2 Disc.png
3 White Devil.png
4 Moths.png
5 NerdShamer.png
6 Wtfneedsignup.png
7 Llama King.png

Yeah, I know I died in the last mission, but we had an open spot and fuck it, its my LP.


(Matt Furniss - Laser Squad Select Arms, Roland Version)

1.png

I could not for the life of me get DOSBox to record any of the Roland tracks so the two I do have aren't mine, I sniped them from Youtube. I did get the Roland version to record eventually but not in an ideal way, so I'm keeping the Youtube-sniped version here.

Mission 5 Weapons.png
Weapons Ammo and Armor Chart.png

Weapons and armor are the same as last time. Returning dead will note they're different than the missions they died on, and survivors should consider that in this mission staying mobile may be more important than firepower.

Armor Set 1 Mission 1.png
Armor Set 2 Mission 1.png


I will give everyone until 5:00 PM EST tomorrow to select your weaponry. Remember, you don't need to tell me about ammo, I'll figure that out! Done.
 
Last edited:
I'll take Armor 1 and the rocket launcher. Because why the fuck not.
 
I want an rocket launcher, again. Since most of us will die to the first thing that we see, anyways.
 
Back
Top Bottom