Lovequest Leaked Catie Texts

[Haesindang Park]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=aNUr__-VZeQ
Okay, honest (and horrifying) question time: Does Chris know that lube is a thing? And that if you want to do ANYTHING involving anal sex you need it? Like, I know porn basically edits it out (and internet erotica has some...very odd ideas about what constitutes lubrication) but is Chris aware that you need it? Cause these texts make it sound like the answer is no.

Lube costs extra money for him. In his mind, he thinks that why spend more money on lube when you can just spend money on a dildo and just shove it up your ass instead?

And most importantly, how long will it take Skyraider to get his hands on the Xrays?

Or worse, Thetan? I hate to say this but I kinda want to see that happen just for laughs but at the same time, its best that he don't. There was a case of some dude who died with a vibrating dildo in his ass and that his cause of death was more related to diabetes than the fact that he had a dildo up there. Knowing Chris' unhealthy lifestyle, its best that he stops ramming things up there. If Thetan can convince him to remove his piercing, then hopefully, I'm sure she can convince him to stop ramming things up there.

 

[Marvin]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=aNUr__-VZeQ
Okay, honest (and horrifying) question time: Does Chris know that lube is a thing? And that if you want to do ANYTHING involving anal sex you need it? Like, I know porn basically edits it out (and internet erotica has some...very odd ideas about what constitutes lubrication) but is Chris aware that you need it? Cause these texts make it sound like the answer is no.

Oh, yeah, no, Chris' fascination with being fucked in the butt is 100% porn fantasies, I'm sure.

Chris watches nubile young girls getting fucked in the butt and they're moaning and enjoying it. But that's just porn fantasy cliches. But, of course, Chris is a sucker and falls for it.

Every time Chris shoves something up his ass and it doesn't feel amazing, it confuses the hell out of Chris.

 

[blackie toy]

Wonder if Medicaid covers rectal foreign object removal?

Either that or Medicare. It wouldn't likely be surgical anyway. And they would probably take a perforated colon as well.

How often do surgeons hear about autistic tomgirls on the tugboat winding up in the ER with dildos up their asses?

Remove one of those qualifiers, you'd probably be surprised at how often. But yeah, all of them together are pretty farfetched.

 

[jemas42]

He's still putting things up his ass... At this rate, he might wind up in the hospital with a dildo in his ass. Wonder if Medicaid covers rectal foreign object removal? How often do surgeons hear about autistic tomgirls on the tugboat winding up in the ER with dildos up their asses? Not to mention, how often do we hear about cases of people on welfare buying dildos too before shoving them up their asses?

How often do people, autistic or not, show up in the ER with something up their butt they need help removing? 100 percent sincere now: All. The. Fucking. Time.

Seriously, it's pretty damned common. If it's early enough, they might go to a walk in clinic, but since these incidents usually happen during sex (IE at night) and/or under the influence of alcohol (IE at night) they end up in the ER. Never seen Scrubs? They don't have a Lost and Found box; They have an Ass Box.

Oh, yeah, no, Chris' fascination with being fucked in the butt is 100% porn fantasies, I'm sure.

Chris watches nubile young girls getting fucked in the butt and they're moaning and enjoying it. But that's just porn fantasy cliches. But, of course, Chris is a sucker and falls for it.

Every time Chris shoves something up his ass and it doesn't feel amazing, it confuses the hell out of Chris.

That's what I thought

 

[Haesindang Park]

How often do people, autistic or not, show up in the ER with something up their butt they need help removing? 100 percent sincere now: All. The. Fucking. Time.

Seriously, it's pretty damned common. If it's early enough, they might go to a walk in clinic, but since these incidents usually happen during normal sex (IE at night) and/or under the influence of alcohol (IE at night) they end up in the ER. Never seen Scrubs? They don't have a Lost and Found box; They have an Ass Box.

I know its common but what I mean is that how often do people with things up their ass are on social security? Last time I checked, most people who wind up in the ER for that are usually upper middle class people or people who are pretty well-known to locals because of their successful careers. Lawyers are an example of this. Even more shocking is that most people who wind up in the ER for rectal foreign bodies are usually married men with wives. Chris would be more of the stereotypical homosexual who shoves things up his butt. Seems like we're getting off topic since this thread is about Chris's texts to Catie not what Chris shoves up his ass unless Chris suddenly decides to send pics of himself with stuff up his ass to Catie.

 

[Thetan]

So - as far as you are aware- Catherine did not tell Chris that his discussion of sex bothered her or offended her, after the first message?

I'm curious as to whether she attempted to test his pledge to stop talking about the subject if she asked him to.

She told him that his sex talk made her uncomfortable (TMI). When he didn't stop, she'd usually just try and change the subject to something more neutral.

I don't have access to all of the texts. Catherine will probably make them available as some point, although they'll probably be released by someone else. My impression is that she no longer wants anything to do with this.

 

[jemas42]

I know its common but what I mean is that how often do people with things up their ass are on social security? Last time I checked, most people who wind up in the ER for that are usually upper middle class people or people who are pretty well-known to locals because of their successful careers. Lawyers are an example of this. Even more shocking is that most people who wind up in the ER for rectal foreign bodies are usually married men with wives. Chris would be more of the stereotypical homosexual who shoves things up his butt. Seems like we're getting off topic since this thread is about Chris's texts to Catie not what Chris shoves up his ass unless Chris suddenly decides to send pics of himself with stuff up his ass to Catie.

Ahh. Well it has to happen occasionally, I doubt they'd be fazed. The social security people might be though.

And since some of the texts Chris sent to Catie are about his ass, we're not getting off topic by talking about his ass...

I just wrote that didn't I?

 

[timtommy]

I am willing to cut Chris a little slack on the entitled comment. I think it was possible he was trying to say something fairly common and benign like "I deserve to be treated well in a relationship". The word entitled slipped in, which was unfortunate. But Chris' choice of words is always full of WTFery. He walked it back a little when confronted on it. I guess I am not willing to jump on him for one word, when so many of the words he uses are horribly misused or made-up.

In general, I have some sympathy with him about this. We have all been dumped unexpectedly. It is a tough thing to wrap your mind around. You want to be with someone, and it seems like one minute they want to be with you and the next they don't. You didn't feel anything change, but all of a sudden it is over. It can be confusing, and there is a ton of emotion overlaying it and making it worse. Chris reacted in a worse way than most people by involving her in his drama and by being way more selfish and dumb than most people would.

But he was reacting badly to an unfortunate situation. And a situation which doesn't always bring out the best in anyone. I am not giving him a total pass because he said some pretty ridiculous shit, but I am a little more willing to understand than a lot of you are.

 

[Haesindang Park]

I don't have access to all of the texts. Catherine will probably make them available as some point, although they'll probably be released by someone else. My impression is that she no longer wants anything to do with this.

Don't know if I want to see them or not but something tells me its full of disgusting things. If it involves pictures, oh boy!

 

[Eponine]

I am willing to cut Chris a little slack on the entitled comment. I think it was possible he was trying to say something fairly common and benign like "I deserve to be treated well in a relationship". The word entitled slipped in, which was unfortunate. But Chris' choice of words is always full of WTFery. He walked it back a little when confronted on it. I guess I am not willing to jump on him for one word, when so many of the words he uses are horribly misused or made-up.

In general, I have some sympathy with him about this. We have all been dumped unexpectedly. It is a tough thing to wrap your mind around. You want to be with someone, and it seems like one minute they want to be with you and the next they don't. You didn't feel anything change, but all of a sudden it is over. It can be confusing, and there is a ton of emotion overlaying it and making it worse. Chris reacted in a worse way than most people by involving her in his drama and by being way more selfish and dumb than most people would.

But he was reacting badly to an unfortunate situation. And a situation which doesn't always bring out the best in anyone. I am not giving him a total pass because he said some pretty ridiculous shit, but I am a little more willing to understand than a lot of you are.

The thing is, Catie never agreed to a relationship in the first place. Chris just assumed it, even as she backpedalled.

 

[warongiygas]

I am willing to cut Chris a little slack on the entitled comment. I think it was possible he was trying to say something fairly common and benign like "I deserve to be treated well in a relationship". The word entitled slipped in, which was unfortunate. But Chris' choice of words is always full of WTFery. He walked it back a little when confronted on it. I guess I am not willing to jump on him for one word, when so many of the words he uses are horribly misused or made-up.

In general, I have some sympathy with him about this. We have all been dumped unexpectedly. It is a tough thing to wrap your mind around. You want to be with someone, and it seems like one minute they want to be with you and the next they don't. You didn't feel anything change, but all of a sudden it is over. It can be confusing, and there is a ton of emotion overlaying it and making it worse. Chris reacted in a worse way than most people by involving her in his drama and by being way more selfish and dumb than most people would.

But he was reacting badly to an unfortunate situation. And a situation which doesn't always bring out the best in anyone. I am not giving him a total pass because he said some pretty ridiculous shit, but I am a little more willing to understand than a lot of you are.

If what I've been reading is correct though, Catherine was never in a romantic relationship with Chris. That's just how Chris interpreted her interest because she approached him on a dating site.

Being dumped can be a dreadful, confusing affair. It's normal to go through a grieving period after a break-up when you're not acting entirely like yourself. The difference here is that Chris is not emotionally confused, he's trying to be emotionally manipulative in order for Catherine to give him back a relationship that didn't exist in the first place. He's acting out because Catherine is no longer complicit in affirming a fantasy he feels entitled to.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Being dumped can be a dreadful, confusing affair. It's normal to go through a grieving period after a break-up where you're not acting entirely like yourself. The difference here is that Chris is not emotionally confused, he's trying to be emotionally manipulative in order for Catherine to give him back a relationship that didn't exist in the first place. He's acting out because Catherine is no longer complicit in affirming a fantasy he feels he's entitled to.

Yeah. It's one thing to be dumped by someone you were in a relationship with. It's another to get cranky because a girl refused to let him force her into servitude.

 

[YI 457]

I personally prefer to see the good in people!

Killing the relationship, it Killed Me and My Heart and Soul ALL OVER AGAIN after countless times of them both being Broken, Beaten and Scarred beyond belief and back from Hell.

I am 32 years old and some wise and educated.

...instead of learning about the tortures of King Henry Tudor VIII, learned was the Caring, Compassion and Empathy from the classic Care Bears (shows).

You may be Book Smart, but that does Not make you All-Knowing or Wise.

Oh, Chris...

PS:

 

[timtommy]

Yeah. It's one thing to be dumped by someone you were in a relationship with. It's another to get cranky because a girl refused to let him force her into servitude.

True enough. I guess I am separating those issues a little. There is one issue about why he believed him and Catie were in a relationship and how he acted in the relationship. We don't know all the details of that, but it seems there was a fair bit of delusion and selfishness involved. So that's not good.

But given that he did believe he was in a relationship, I think it is fair to be upset when it ends.

 

[Slowboat to China]

I have to say, the most interesting part for me was the royalty stuff. There's something wonderfully appropriate about Chris mentioning Henry VIII, another overweight angry type who wanted his GodBear-promised heir and went through heartsweets like roast swans. The main difference is that Chris is becoming his own Flanders Mare.

Also, if Barb is harping a lot about the Weston bloodline, that could explain Chris's adoption of British spellings. Being a royal would suit him better than being a mayor anyway; you can't be unelected from your own bloodline (though I doubt he realizes you can be overthrown), and all he'd have to do is exist. All hail Bonnie Prince Chrissy.

As for Catherine being "common"--I'm not sure it's entirely connected with Chris's pretentious of being royalty. I'm a damn Yankee, but I've seen examples of Southerners using "common" to mean "trashy," not "peasantry." Obviously Chris is living in a glass house there, but it's worth noting.

 

[Marvin]

Seven Inch Cock?

Spoiler: gross :)

fatty stretches his dick out like chewing gum to get that number

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I have to say, the most interesting part for me was the royalty stuff.

I wonder if Chris is proud of being the royal heir to a big plywood box of garbage.

 

[The Nameless One]

Okay, honest (and horrifying) question time: Does Chris know that lube is a thing? And that if you want to do ANYTHING involving anal sex you need it? Like, I know porn basically edits it out (and internet erotica has some...very odd ideas about what constitutes lubrication) but is Chris aware that you need it? Cause these texts make it sound like the answer is no.

You ever seen the video of Chris shaving his face without shaving cream? I imagine it's a lot like that, just instead of, "Whoops, time to shave. *SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE*" it's "Whoops, time to put something up muh butt. *SHOVE SHOVE SHOVE*"

My impulse conned me into shoving it [a dildo] up there [the butt] four times in different ways; all the while still more painful.

Jesus. If anyone needed more proof that Chris does not learn from mistakes, period, this one sentence perfectly encapsulates Chris's approach to life.

 

[asperhes]

"And my mother is Not going to be around forever"

I'm actually quite surprised he realizes this, maybe I don't give this guy enough credit.

This is actually one of his oldest justifications for the Love Quest. From 2004: "For days to weeks to months to years, I Felt So Lonesome and Incomplete. But I didn't STOP! In the name of Love, and the fact that there had to be a Boyfriend-Free Girl out there, somewhere, for me to get to know, grow a strong companionship with and make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so in later years, after the inevitability of my parents leaving me, I WON'T BE ALONE."

 

[timtommy]

I have to say, the most interesting part for me was the royalty stuff. There's something wonderfully appropriate about Chris mentioning Henry VIII, another overweight angry type who wanted his GodBear-promised heir and went through heartsweets like roast swans. The main difference is that Chris is becoming his own Flanders Mare.

Also, if Barb is harping a lot about the Weston bloodline, that could explain Chris's adoption of British spellings. Being a royal would suit him better than being a mayor anyway; you can't be unelected from your own bloodline (though I doubt he realizes you can be overthrown), and all he'd have to do is exist. All hail Bonnie Prince Chrissy.

As for Catherine being "common"--I'm not sure it's entirely connected with Chris's pretentious of being royalty. I'm a damn Yankee, but I've seen examples of Southerners using "common" to mean "trashy," not "peasantry." Obviously Chris is living in a glass house there, but it's worth noting.

Chris claims he is descended from Ann Boleyn. Impossible of course, since Ann Boleyn had no grandchildren, but assume he means he is related to her.

Ann Boleyn lived 500 years ago. Assuming that the gap between generations is about 25 years, that is 20 generations ago. The number of direct ancestors you have doubles each generation (you have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents etc.). That means you have over 1 million direct ancestors 20 generations ago. Since the population of England was under 3 million in Ann Boleyn's days, if you have largely English ancestry it is almost a certainty you are related to someone important in English history if you look back that far.

*This effect is reduced by inbreeding, which reduces the number of ancestors you have. On the other hand it is increased by the fact that children of important and wealthy people were more likely to have children who survived and procreated. So it is a complete pulled out of the ass estimate. But I can say that Chris claim of being related to the Boleyns, even if true, is not that impressive.