🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Ravier Xavenblood said:
Combine the teeth and bad diet with how mentally unhealthy his lifestyle is and you're getting it. Cobra also gets harassed 24/7, rarely goes outside and hasn't had a proper job in 7 years. And to top all that off, his last relationship was so abusive that she almost made him kill himself. That lack of structure and hopelessness can really do a number on someone's health, regardless if they have lolcow plot armor or not.
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Poor oral health is like a fast track to cardiac issues.
 
The boy is a modern medical marvel if you think about it. How long can you survive dumping the worst of the worst into your gaping maw? That's basically why I keep watching outside of any love for the boy, it's like watching a competitive eater, but more degenerate.

I don't want the boy to suffer/die, but it's darkly fascinating. Like if you look at him as a rando, you think he's some blitzed out Vietnam vet, then you learn he's in his FUCKING THIRTIES. Jesus Chris man.

I feel like when he does pass, it'll be a turning point for livestreamer culture. Like he has enough reach to propel this (whatever the fuck it is) to the mainstream. It may take a bunch more pretty white girls to die via misadventure streaming for the outrage to actually take hold, but I'll put my chips on the table now and say that Cobes dying will have an impact.

I feel like Larson would have gotten there first, but getting locked up for life isn't the same (despite it being worse), somehow dying is a big deal even though people die all the fucking time.

Or this was all bullshit and we'll be here same time same place next week. But I'd argue it's coming one way or another and there's nothing you can do to stop it, so make your peace now.
 
Nigger Cattle said:
….Now, imagine not only that, but he develops high blood pressure and/or diabeetus, then he's fucked, he's already a chunky monkey, so he could easily stroke out or have a heart attack before his liver goes bye bye.
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This man consumes sugars and salt in GRAM quantities. I’m almost certain he’s a diabetic with high blood pressure. Compound that with the risk of cardiovascular problems from poor dental health on top of the booze.
It’s not looking good for him at this point in time dood. He’s the poster child for what happens when not maintaining a healthy diet.

I hate to see him go out like this. I’m with everyone else who said it before me, Cobes is the last of the not a complete fucking weirdo, dog fucking, degenerate child molesting lolcow. He’s not perfect but nobody can say they are. It genuinely makes me sad that it’s a reality we will live in one day and that day is coming too soon.

I just want to see him get better. Whether or not he does isn’t up to me, you or anyone else. He needs to do it. It’s a shame that Clunt is, and forever will be the BIGGEST fucking piece of shit. I couldn’t do that to my child, come hell or high water he’d have gotten some help regardless of how much he fought or tried to weasel out. It’s his duty as a parent. Don’t just throw your child away, don’t just give up.
 
Let's not forget that the boy is retarded and extremely performative, very well could just have a stomach bug and acting like it's the end of the world. Given the myriad of potential medical issues the boy could have I don't see much point in speculating on what it could be. We already know 100% of his bowel movements have the pressure and consistency of a fire hose so him shitting his brains out doesn't seem to out of the ordinary for him.
 
Not sure what Josh would even do at this point if he has something life-threatening. He doesn’t have Medicaid anymore so he can’t afford to call an ambulance, visit an ER, and probably even Urgent Care is out of the question. He’d end up with massive medical bills like Darf had, but with no way to meet payments and have his PayPal account frozen.

The time to get his issues resolved was when he still qualified for Medicaid, but it’s too late now.
 
christ5president2024 said:
cobra would honestly be healthier if he switched to crack or meth for 2 months
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if he had coke he might even end up like this meme
Screenshot_20250428_042722_Chrome.webp
 
Agamemnon Busmalis said:
Binge drinking yes, there are enough sober periods in that drinking style to mitigate the nutrient deficiencies, organ damage and withdrawals. Frank Sinatra lived to 82.

Constantly being hammered on bottom shelf liquor, no.
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Him becoming a NEET shutin was the worst thing to ever happen to him because back when he had a job, his body would be forced to flush out the alcohol and he'd spend the shift sober. And he also wasn't dependent on the paypigs. We may never truly know how much Cobra drinks off camera but it's safe to assume as long as the paypigs deliver, he drinks from dawn to dusk, And it's been that way since at least 2021.
 
Ravier Xavenblood said:
Him becoming a NEET shutin was the worst thing to ever happen to him because back when he had a job, his body would be forced to flush out the alcohol and he'd spend the shift sober. And he also wasn't dependent on the paypigs. We may never truly know how much Cobra drinks off camera but it's safe to assume as long as the paypigs deliver, he drinks from dawn to dusk, And it's been that way since at least 2021.
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Constant intoxication on hard liquor is a fine recipe for the DTs....not gonna get that shit if he drank beer or wine.
 
Beavis’ Moms Boyfriend#6 said:
This man consumes sugars and salt in GRAM quantities.
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Do you remember the spice Cobra invented, "saltger"? He actually used to make baggies of salt and sugar mixed together and used it to season his food. Cobra used to be so entertaining, just a hapless little gothic weirdo off in his own world. I hate seeing just how much he's decayed.
 
Catboy Ranch Dressing said:
Do you remember the spice Cobra invented, "saltger"? He actually used to make baggies of salt and sugar mixed together and used it to season his food. Cobra used to be so entertaining, just a hapless little gothic weirdo off in his own world. I hate seeing just how much he's decayed.
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RIP salgur. One of the original staples in the food hackers arsenal. Shit goes great on fries made by boiling potatoes in water and gravy transmuted in bread.
 
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