Incel and Lonely Men Debate thread - Defend men giving up or tell them otherwise

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Newfag14 said:
This might sound like some buddhist bullshit but I'd say that it's key to systematically attempt to "kill" ones desires in order to get them under control and prevent to keep on getting the mentioned states of depression. You'll also get more self-disciplin through that.
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It sounds a lot better when you call it stoicism :) Yeah, this is something I've actually been thinking a lot about. I think people - and not just girls - are repulsed by a would-be partner who wants them too much, because it is usually tied to that person not being content with their life otherwise. And who would want to spend their time with a desperate loser? I think when retards complain about how the girls never go for the "nice guy" this is the issue they're facing. I still have problems with this though. "Just chill out maaan." might be an actionable advice when you're 17, but at my age, when I see all my non-socially retarded friends (actually even some of the retarded) having been in one or two relationships or even getting engaged, I just can't help but being sad and focused on this.

Thanks for the advice.
KSachiko77 said:
There are literally books out there to try.
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You think these work? I was always sceptical. IMO social skills can't be learned from a book - even if it has perfectly worded advice you still have to live through any given situation for your brain to really "get it".
KSachiko77 said:
Also, don't be too picky.
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Yeah, that's something I've slowly come to realize in the last few months. It sounds obvious. Don't go for a 10/10 looking girl when you're a 6. The problem is this extends to other domains where you really don't want to make that compromise. Sometimes you shouldn't, but then again sometimes you should just stop being a retard who thinks too much of himself.

I recently made this mistake. I've been going out with a great girl - good looking, smart, nice to people and had a personality and hobbies besides consooomerism. Then I guess I botched it somehow, she lost interest and communicated that to me in a sort of humiliating way. Also stopped all contact after that. Few months later we bumped into each other and she was nice to me again, obviously wanting to continue where we left off. I still liked her, but at the time I felt like I should have some pride and that if I conceded to this she wouldn't respect me anyway, so I declined. Looking back I was just overthinking.
 
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Gone Innawoods said:
You think these work? I was always sceptical. IMO social skills can't be learned from a book - even if it has perfectly worded advice you still have to live through any given situation for your brain to really "get it".
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It's best not to think of them as instruction manuals so much as practice guides. You have to actively apply what they teach you and let the experience guide you from there. It can be difficult to do it these days too since people tend to be suspicious of someone taking a genuine interest in them too. That said, you're better off reading that stuff if you want to polish your manner. I'd start with How to win friends first. It actively teaches you to be interested in other people and learning how to pick your fights. It's an underrated skill to actively pick your brain for a reason to like someone and the guy who wrote it was an amazing salesman. Either Art of Seduction or Book of Five Rings can come next. Art of Seduction centers around self knowledge and application and Book of Five Rings is ostensibly about swordfighting but the flow of conversation and interpersonal relationships can often resemble combat. A hereditary treatise on the art of war by Yagyu Munenori is also a good book to read and it's often bound with the book of five rings as well.
 
Gone Innawoods said:
You think these work? I was always sceptical. IMO social skills can't be learned from a book - even if it has perfectly worded advice you still have to live through any given situation for your brain to really "get it".
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In my personal experience, it doesn't work like they expect it should. I know a few men who tried learning from books like How to Win Friends & Influence People, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication, Art of Seduction, and of course the infamous Meditations and The Prince. The results are always rather uncanny and easy to see through when you engage those people outside of their comfort zone. It might work in the office or the board room, but ask an awkward, unexpected question or engage in really casual conversation and the façade breaks invariably. Even in formal conversation, these people seem pent up and as if they're putting on a show in fear of anyone discovering who they really are. As the listener, it feels like you're interviewing someone for a job.

In terms of advice, I cannot give anything but recommend becoming comfortable through consistent exposure to different social situations. First and second time are always scary, but once you spill your spaghetti enough, it becomes easy and comes across as genuine. I also advise against "killing" desires and strong emotions. Use them instead as a driver of behavior because it makes a person more eye-catching and exuberant. Be the person in the room that everyone looks towards and wants to hear speak.
Gone Innawoods said:
Still, all this effort got me was the opportunity to cuddle like two times, some heart-ache and no romantic connection, which is really all I want. I guess I need some advice on what to do after I hint to a girl that I'm interested, because all my attempts thus far have ended after the stage where we talk/go out for a few weeks on sort of unadmitted dates unable to move on to the next stage (whatever that is).
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Date fellow autists and just ask if they want to move to the next stage. They'll be grateful that you're taking the difficult step and remember, you don't have to be perfect in social interactions. Good enough and not completely spilling your spaghetti is already plenty considering that 90% of people have really underdeveloped social skills. Also, wear clothes and perfume that make you feel confident.
 
This is probably the best place to put this, but this was a genuinely jaw dropping moment for me.
You think the mainstream media is disinterested in male suicide rates... This is a Chris Morris episode happening in real life.

Glasgow support group for men struggling with mental health and suicidal ideation/attempts. Note the location of the meetings. The print ad describes the hosting company as their "sponsors" in big letter down the bottom of the flyer.:
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The corporate website of Anderson Maguire, as most of you will lack the context to understand this otherwise:
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Hamilton Street is their first/main branch.

The support group for suicidal men is sponsored by, and holds its meetings in, the literal funeral parlour.

You couldn't make this shit up; no one would believe it.

"Feeling like ending it all? Come down to the undertakers'; book yourself a wee package while you are there. Discuss your feelings of despair over the sounds of the wailing relatives viewing the dead bodies in the neighbouring rooms."
 
why do incels assume that young women 18-26 or so have such high body counts?

i am recently 30 and every single woman ive been with has a lower body count than me.
 
Never Scored said:
1) They're in an echo chamber.

2) They're autistic so they take what people online are saying to them at face value.
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i cant say whether most genuinely believe it, but it seems to me at least that most repeat it for clout inside their communities. incels are terminally online and clout in their communities means everything to them.

even on the incel forum, youd be incredibly suprised how easy it is to get banned. their ban appeal subforum is huge. if they stray from the hivemind they get ostracized.
 
isalaide said:
Eh, most women would say that the level of emotional intimacy they have with close friends and family, and the amount of emotional support they get from them, is much much higher than with their partner.
Most women report in studies they don't get much emotional support or satisfaction from their male partner. I would say that pretty much every woman would admit that they have confided repeatedly in a close friend/family member things that they would never tell their partner.
I think, and I really don't think this is an outlier opinion, that your standard hetero relationship feels very emotionally intimate to the guy, and pretty emotionally distant, even emotionally unsatisfying, to the girl. Probably just because we are used to forming close emotional bonds that don't involve sex. I don't think sex increases the emotional value of a relationship to a woman. We don't feel closer to someone because they shoved a dick in us. Most women would say the closest person to them is a child, a mother, or a sister. Someone we share with, and who shares with us.
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Women's ability to pair bond is wrecked once they lose their virginity. Once its gone they just have a chain of "partners". There is a reason why when women cheat they all say "He was there for me" almost verbatim.
 
PaleTay said:
Because ugly women tend to have high bodycounts so they assume pretty women have higher bodycounts, which is mostly untrue outside of porn and escorts.
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How possible is a pretty woman having a lesser bodycount than uglier ones since physical beauty is pretty much a determining factor for most women and it can be weaponized in their favor?

Barring the insufferable and extremely picky I find it realistically unlikely that pretty women would have a hard time in using their appearance for attraction.
 
Celestial Peace said:
How possible is a pretty woman having a lesser bodycount than uglier ones since physical beauty is pretty much a determining factor for most women and it can be weaponized in their favor?
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Because attractive women are able to get with attractive guys whilst ugly women can't, so the munters have to resort to being the village bicycle to get male attention whilst the fit ones can just have normal relationships.
 
on the subject of whether your monogamous spouse is also your best friend: I think this is genetic/cultural. like I literally think the different breeds of humans do this differently and understanding and matching up what your genetics want you to do here is fundamental for happiness in life. germanic/north of the hanjul line people need an emotionally close sexually monogamous pairbond. if necessary, they will jettison other relationships to preserve the quality of the marriage and they're correct to do so. Other people? the sexual monogamy part is still important but if you're not germanic you're going to be deeply miserable if you try to get your emotional needs met by that relationship. you need your same sex squad, your cousins, your adult same sex children.
 
Punished Derich said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3HrFjGjNx_QWhat's the excuse, incels?
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This was filmed at the Q1 hotel in Australia. You really can't distinguish a hotel room from an apartment?

Edit: This is why so many incels and other retards on the Internet feel inadequate, they take malicious liars seriously. There's an entire subculture of scammers who are hiring fake jets, hotel rooms, Arab cars, and even clothing and jewelry to flex on you. Do not trust anyone on the Internet claiming that they make more than local median wage or live anywhere but the ghetto. Also, people wearing Patek Philippe or Rolexes are usually not to be trusted.
 
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Celestial Peace said:
When are people going to realize incels and any variety of it have no place in society? An incel should NOT take action to meet someone because that'll either end up in cringe, restraining order or murder-suicide.

Want to get rid of incels? Lock 'em up in an asylum or send their asses to some Auschwitz-like labor fields. They feel like offing themselves? Let them be. Incels will incel no matter what because they're beyond hope at their age and it's only stagnation at best. It's really tiring to see dumbass normies with American Pie-esque takes on how to find a gf.

Supposing they would be capable, so what? So they can turn out another Prozac-bound self-hating impulsive manwhore who can't keep his dick on his pants while still thinking that sex is the be-all end-all of existence? Some people here OTT want to normalize casual sex while shitting on incels but they be reminding me of drug addicts shaming people who never did drugs or went cold turkey because "they're missing out on the experience, bro." or something like that while ignoring serious mental issues that comes along.

Any stupid normie who comes up with some gay-ass boomer advice or pop-psychology bullshit is just displaying their utter ignorance on how to deal with the unfit. And it makes me sick.
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KF: “Society is fucked, especially for young people, but if you think that is affecting your ability to have a successful relationship in any way you’re a faggot you should kill himself lmao”
 
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