Incel and Lonely Men Debate thread - Defend men giving up or tell them otherwise

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I was disappointed to try to make some moves at a conference but it not go well. This woman seemed interested in me (or had the potential, at least) but when I invited her on a thing I did leave the invitation open to others (I don't know if that was right, but it seems to me like sometimes that is good if someone doesn't really know you) and she just largely clinged to another dude from her homeland speaking in their language. After that I just gave up on it. That was when it would have been better, I thought, to get to know her.
 
⋖ cørdion ⋗ said:
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Anyone who takes anything that's just a tweet like this seriously is a fucking retard.

I could tweet, "My aunt raped me when I was 12, and and my girlfriend left me when I told her about it" or "I saw a guy with a big swastika tattoo slap a black girl outside the mall," but the fact that I tweeted those things don't make them true. The majority of stuff on sites like Twitter and Reddit are rage bait, people making up random shit to win arguments or people who just want attention.
 
When are people going to realize incels and any variety of it have no place in society? An incel should NOT take action to meet someone because that'll either end up in cringe, restraining order or murder-suicide.

Want to get rid of incels? Lock 'em up in an asylum or send their asses to some Auschwitz-like labor fields. They feel like offing themselves? Let them be. Incels will incel no matter what because they're beyond hope at their age and it's only stagnation at best. It's really tiring to see dumbass normies with American Pie-esque takes on how to find a gf.

Supposing they would be capable, so what? So they can turn out another Prozac-bound self-hating impulsive manwhore who can't keep his dick on his pants while still thinking that sex is the be-all end-all of existence? Some people here OTT want to normalize casual sex while shitting on incels but they be reminding me of drug addicts shaming people who never did drugs or went cold turkey because "they're missing out on the experience, bro." or something like that while ignoring serious mental issues that comes along.

Any stupid normie who comes up with some gay-ass boomer advice or pop-psychology bullshit is just displaying their utter ignorance on how to deal with the unfit. And it makes me sick.
 
I posted this in the other incel thread, but this one seems more active.

Way too few actual losers in this thread. Let me do my bit.

I don't like to think of myself as being an incel, because I find the whole "culture" retarded. I don't hate women, I don't think it's all about the looks or any of that crap. My problem is I have a really hard time reading people and understanding how to be entertaining and pleasant to be around. In the last few years I actually tamed my social 'tism a lot just by doing a lot of social stuff during the summer - noticing what works, what doesn't and starting to understand nuance - but I think I'm still quite bad at times, especially in group settings. I also overcame my fear of approaching women to the point where it's simply not an issue for me anymore, which ironically robs me of a lot of the excitement.

Still, all this effort got me was the opportunity to cuddle like two times, some heart-ache and no romantic connection, which is really all I want. I guess I need some advice on what to do after I hint to a girl that I'm interested, because all my attempts thus far have ended after the stage where we talk/go out for a few weeks on sort of unadmitted dates unable to move on to the next stage (whatever that is).

A friend of mine suggested just YOLO going for a kiss - said it worked for him. Other told me to start a conversation about relationships, which I'm kinda insecure about because y'know - never had any. As I said above my social skills are underdeveloped so I have no idea if any of that is weird or totally expected.

At this point I guess I'll take any advice people might have for me, even if it's coming from a bunch of stalkers on the internet.
 
Gone Innawoods said:
I posted this in the other incel thread, but this one seems more active.

Way too few actual losers in this thread. Let me do my bit.

I don't like to think of myself as being an incel, because I find the whole "culture" retarded. I don't hate women, I don't think it's all about the looks or any of that crap. My problem is I have a really hard time reading people and understanding how to be entertaining and pleasant to be around. In the last few years I actually tamed my social 'tism a lot just by doing a lot of social stuff during the summer - noticing what works, what doesn't and starting to understand nuance - but I think I'm still quite bad at times, especially in group settings. I also overcame my fear of approaching women to the point where it's simply not an issue for me anymore, which ironically robs me of a lot of the excitement.

Still, all this effort got me was the opportunity to cuddle like two times, some heart-ache and no romantic connection, which is really all I want. I guess I need some advice on what to do after I hint to a girl that I'm interested, because all my attempts thus far have ended after the stage where we talk/go out for a few weeks on sort of unadmitted dates unable to move on to the next stage (whatever that is).

A friend of mine suggested just YOLO going for a kiss - said it worked for him. Other told me to start a conversation about relationships, which I'm kinda insecure about because y'know - never had any. As I said above my social skills are underdeveloped so I have no idea if any of that is weird or totally expected.

At this point I guess I'll take any advice people might have for me, even if it's coming from a bunch of stalkers on the internet.
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Don't let a succubus steal your mana, bro.

Remain virgin. Become wizard.
 
Gone Innawoods said:
I posted this in the other incel thread, but this one seems more active.


At this point I guess I'll take any advice people might have for me, even if it's coming from a bunch of stalkers on the internet.
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This monolog always comes to my mind if I think about the topic of relationships or being social in general.
"it" being what it takes to have a real, innate ability to have a "healthy" , "normal" connection to a person.

I came to the conclusion that I, as a fellow sperg, simply have a defect in that department that can't be fixed as well as "odd" personality traits that are pretty much hard coded.
The only hope one has is to keep working on once (social) skills, make money, stay fit, be clean cut and be around people in the hopes of finding a person that can deal with ones defects and innate "oddness". (Don't fall for BPD chicks even though they tend to be attracted to such traits in my exp., the affection you'll get is nice but not worth the inevitable messy break up.)
At the same time one should also genuinely come to terms with potentially never having any real long lasting relationships in once life, a process wich might cause at least one phase of crippling, deep depression while working through it.

This might sound like some buddhist bullshit but I'd say that it's key to systematically attempt to "kill" ones desires in order to get them under control and prevent to keep on getting the mentioned states of depression. You'll also get more self-disciplin through that.
One could also consider doing some strong shrooms to aid in that process as a way to mk-ultra yourself, wich really works wonders.
Throw in some long camping / hiking trips in the mix where you reach your physical limits and you'll 100% be a more fulfilled person.
I would discourage you from taking up the christian faith but I 100% endorse going to church to meet people, make deals and generally further ones own ends.

I live by this advice and there's also like nothing else I could do that much differently. I hope this helps
 
White Angel said:
Incels hate women because they are fucking assholes who feel entitled to others' bodies.
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I imagine 90% of incels fall into two categories;

Men who where taught how to interact with women in very horrible feminine(ie dont be firm, dont be direct, never say no etc.) ways which women naturally find unattractive at best to disgusting at worst so end up forever alone, jaded.

Men who have lost the genetic lottery to some degree(bald at 20, 5'5 etc.) and thanks to modern economic dynamics(women not dating down) have zero hope of attracting a woman thus end up forever alone, jaded.

You simply can not get around the fact the modern society has seriously fucked over an ever growing pool of men when it comes to dating and romance. This was not a problem at all prior to the 1960s and the rise of feminism.
 
74164978231 said:
You simply can not get around the fact the modern society has seriously fucked over an ever growing pool of men when it comes to dating and romance. This was not a problem at all prior to the 1960s and the rise of feminism.
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but, to play devils advocate, if you are an enjoyer of eugenics like myself, that's actually good that only above average men can reproduce.
There is a bigger selection pressure again and there will be way less retarded or ugly people in the future. I mean look what kind of human waste the baby boom produced and in turn the boomers and the X-ers. The quantity to quality ratio was way off the past few generations, in a world that gets harder to life in every day.

Just try to make the cut, knowing that even if you failed that you tried your best or give up outright.
Life ain't fair and never was.
 
Newfag14 said:
but, to play devils advocate, if you are an enjoyer of eugenics like myself, that's actually good that only above average men can reproduce.
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If you're retarded.

Aryan Gigachad isn't having 15 kids, ghetto gang banger nogs and border jumpers are. Those who reproduce aren't the strongest and the smartest, it's those best adapted to their environment. In our society, that means those shameless enough to abuse grift and gibs.
 
74164978231 said:
Men who where taught how to interact with women in very horrible feminine(ie dont be firm, dont be direct, never say no etc.) ways which women naturally find unattractive at best to disgusting at worst so end up forever alone, jaded.
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This is a big one. A lot of guys grow up getting their advice for women from women. On paper that sounds nice but in reality it's setting you up for failure. Women experience courtship from the perspective of the receiving party and, in broad terms, have no useful advice on being the proactive party. Especially if you're getting your advice from older women who will essentially train you to be a 30+ year old woman's backup. Not maliciously mind you but feminine social dynamics are just repulsive when expressed by males, so women will set you up for failure applying their method to boys.
 
Retard here. I have some questions.

Are you an incel if you never tried to get laid? No tinder, no bars, not looking for hookups etc.? Or are incels people who are actively out there desperately trying to get someone to sleep with them?
Why is sex such a highly placed ranking parameter in social circles?
Should you get laid just go get laid?
Do any religious people still live by the no sex before marriage rule? Are these people also incels?

When can we admit enabling casual sex and sex before marriage and the degradation of marriage in general was a bad idea? Nothing has improved since then. Things only got worse. Sex became more common but is that really a good thing when society is crumbling and families are destroyed? Single moms on the rise? No more structure? Like come on.

Final one. Is it worth holding out in hopes of finding someone who also held out, or should I just say fuck it at this point and go try to have sex? Nobody else appears to have held out why should I? Or is this a retard way of thinking?
 
The Saltening said:
Retard here. I have some questions.

Are you an incel if you never tried to get laid? No tinder, no bars, not looking for hookups etc.? Or are incels people who are actively out there desperately trying to get someone to sleep with them?
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This was me in my early 20's and I had to say the answer is, not really. If you've been told you're decently attractive multiple times but you never dated out of lack of interest, you're not an incel.

However, getting experience is important unless you want to end up with a used-up single mom by the time you're 30.
The Saltening said:
Should you get laid just go get laid?
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No. It's not worth the risk and post nut clarity will be a bitch. You'll likely feel empty if your first time was a one-time fling.
 
The Saltening said:
Retard here. I have some questions.

Are you an incel if you never tried to get laid? No tinder, no bars, not looking for hookups etc.? Or are incels people who are actively out there desperately trying to get someone to sleep with them?
Why is sex such a highly placed ranking parameter in social circles?
Should you get laid just go get laid?
Do any religious people still live by the no sex before marriage rule? Are these people also incels?

When can we admit enabling casual sex and sex before marriage and the degradation of marriage in general was a bad idea? Nothing has improved since then. Things only got worse. Sex became more common but is that really a good thing when society is crumbling and families are destroyed? Single moms on the rise? No more structure? Like come on.

Final one. Is it worth holding out in hopes of finding someone who also held out, or should I just say fuck it at this point and go try to have sex? Nobody else appears to have held out why should I? Or is this a retard way of thinking?
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If you've already put this much thought into it, you've already lost.
 
Agares said:
This was me in my early 20's and I had to say the answer is, not really. If you've been told you're decently attractive multiple times but you never dated out of lack of interest, you're not an incel.

However, getting experience is important unless you want to end up with a used-up single mom by the time you're 30.

No. It's not worth the risk and post nut clarity will be a bitch. You'll likely feel empty if your first time was a one-time fling.
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I have met more girls recently than ever before and I have yet to find one I am interested in. They all seem to be openly sleeping around which is my biggest turn off aside from obesity. So it isn't like I haven't met girls or I am anti-social, more that I just have zero interest in putting any time or effort into someone who I know has had casual sex.

I would say I need to go back to church but so far from my experience those girls aren't all that different. Maybe less casual sex overall compared to other groups.

Hard to get experience when I don't run into anyone who I would even consider.

Current plan is to just do my own thing and hope something happens
 
The Saltening said:
Final one. Is it worth holding out in hopes of finding someone who also held out, or should I just say fuck it at this point and go try to have sex? Nobody else appears to have held out why should I? Or is this a retard way of thinking?
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Never lower your standards.

You can't change other people, but you can work on yourself. If you are unhappy with your current dating situation, focus on the things you can change. Take care of yourself physically, read, develop hobbies, hang out with friends.

If you settle, you won't be lonely, but that doesn't mean you will be happy.
 
Gone Innawoods said:
I posted this in the other incel thread, but this one seems more active.

Way too few actual losers in this thread. Let me do my bit.

I don't like to think of myself as being an incel, because I find the whole "culture" retarded. I don't hate women, I don't think it's all about the looks or any of that crap. My problem is I have a really hard time reading people and understanding how to be entertaining and pleasant to be around. In the last few years I actually tamed my social 'tism a lot just by doing a lot of social stuff during the summer - noticing what works, what doesn't and starting to understand nuance - but I think I'm still quite bad at times, especially in group settings. I also overcame my fear of approaching women to the point where it's simply not an issue for me anymore, which ironically robs me of a lot of the excitement.

Still, all this effort got me was the opportunity to cuddle like two times, some heart-ache and no romantic connection, which is really all I want. I guess I need some advice on what to do after I hint to a girl that I'm interested, because all my attempts thus far have ended after the stage where we talk/go out for a few weeks on sort of unadmitted dates unable to move on to the next stage (whatever that is).

A friend of mine suggested just YOLO going for a kiss - said it worked for him. Other told me to start a conversation about relationships, which I'm kinda insecure about because y'know - never had any. As I said above my social skills are underdeveloped so I have no idea if any of that is weird or totally expected.

At this point I guess I'll take any advice people might have for me, even if it's coming from a bunch of stalkers on the internet.
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There are literally books out there to try. How to win friends and influence people is considered a classic for a reason but I'd also suggest Art of Seduction and The book of five rings. The key to getting girls often comes down to just being comfortable in yourself and just working with what you have. Also, don't be too picky. It's all about vibe. She might be an objectively bad match long term but the vibe means you can enjoy the here and now. If you still don't really dig the girls around you then just keep expanding your social circle. You seem to be making good progress already.
 
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