🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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I'm not German, but Deutchland Douchebag would have also made for a solid screen name.

Sweets add details because no one told him that reporting all the information at once was how the pros did it. Now that he's aware, he can make it his life's mission to get his prestigious position back; after that, it's just a short jump to his Pulitzer... oh, wait!

Sweets, have you ever considered "Burke" cut ties because you're a creepy, raving loon?
 
However, it remains a chilling testimony to the horrors of the college journalism world,

Pft!!!

These people show a phenomenal inability to think for themselves, blithely believing in anything anyone tells them that furthers their diseased agenda, despite any and all evidence to the contrary.

Said the guy who was convinced, by us, after 15 years, that "Ashleigh" was a troll.

I say ol' Doc Murky should be challenged by the mods at OTF to produce the names of his sources immediately, or else cease his vile and destructive campaign against me.

You don't get a say, Jon. Now, as a mod, I say ol' Ugmug Thumbskull should produce the names of his sources immediately, or else cease his vile and destructive campaign against The Herald.

By protecting this guy they only make themselves look bad

To whom?

and open themselves up to a world of legal problems.

From whom?

I don't know why they keep defending this cretin, this frigtard, this dishonest Deutschland douchebag, this little sour kraut,

Your juvenile insults only prove that he's right. Well, those and the fact that you don't deny any of what he said.

this massive albatross around their necks.

An albatross around the neck indicates that something is holding us down or making things difficult for us. Doc has been contributing information, illustrating your history, and inspiring conversation around here. Learn how to use English, Jon.

What do they get out of it?

Information and humor.

He'll only drag them down into the gutter with him if they don't cut him loose.

Said the guy living in a deteriorating dump with a jungle for a backyard.

Clearly, Jon is on the ropes here. Doc has been saying things that he can't defend against, and yet cannot deny, as John Titor pointed out. He's in a position of hating what's being said about him, but unable to disprove it. As such, he's attempting to smear the messenger, as opposed to confronting the message.

This DA account really demonstrates how badly we beat Jon. Nobody takes him seriously, so he goes to his DA journal, free to say whatever he wants because we, being the more honorable of the two parties, choose not to respond to him there. However, he can't let us go. We made an impact in his psyche. We own his head.

You saw that ridiculous addition to the "sex scandal" there, with the supposed crazed fan? Cut from whole cloth and supported with zero evidence. And why? Because we, the Kiwis, finally got Jon to understand that "Ashleigh" was a prank. See, if the woman he looked up wasn't underage, then he was looking in the wrong place. If he was looking in the wrong place, then the woman's name was just another alias. If she was under alias the whole time, then she wasn't really doing what she was doing out of "love", or even sexual attraction.

The end result? Jon had no one in college. No one wanted to be with him. His only experience with a woman was just a joke. Thus, there had to be a "sex scandal" because everything he did to make "Ashleigh" manifest could only be justified by that line of thinking. If Carolyn Jones wasn't 14 years old, then she wasn't "Ashleigh" - and it all falls apart after that.

But we roasted Jon when we got him to realize the truth. Now that he's posting unfettered on DA, he can say whatever he wants without fear of us knocking down his delusion again - or so one would assume. But we're still in his head, and he can't get us out.

We've beaten him, folks. We're the hammer that hit the Thumb. All he can do is throw rocks at a target he cannot hope to reach.

747640c21eb318ae4dead261bebabbe142b8675f.jpg


Hm. I don't care what they say, the right hairpiece would take at least seven to 10 years off.

It doesn't, but if you want to impress yourself, go right ahead. If you want to impress women, forget it. Beyond that, Ugly-10 years = Still Ugly. The picture on the left looks like you just soiled yourself and enjoyed it.
 
That black and white photo. Is that what he looked like in college?
Jesus christ.
 
Like I said earlier, Sweet may very well continue in a hell of his own making for the rest of his life - a personal hell of festering old grudges, racism, and delirious conspiracy theories, all while not being able to move out on his own because reasons. Which would be sad.
Yeah, but I don't lose sleep over it, because the dude's also an asshole.

He doesn't understand how and why I'm making fun of him.

Part of that could be lack of ability to read faces and such, due to autism. Like how Chris thinks he looks pretty in his selfies.

The picture on the left looks like you just soiled yourself and enjoyed it.


https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/747640c21eb318ae4dead261bebabbe142b8675f-jpg.41314/
______ :briefs:_____________ :briefs:

The more things change, the more things stay the same.
 
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Actually, Sweets had mentioned that he'd been really working on their backyard. He could be lying, but who knows? Sweets didn't know Ashleigh was trolling him until we pointed that out. He always adjusts his stories to make himself look, if not good, at least not so clueless. He is not successful. @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe has done exemplary work, and I doubt he'd risk a libel suit by fabricating stories. Unlike Sweet, Doc M is in touch with the real world and is aware that actions have consequences.
 
Doh-ho-ho, looks like Doc Merk has touched a nerve with the juicy gossip he shared with us! Could it be that even Sweetums knows when he's cornered and can't deny what's being said about him? (Probably not, but a girl can dream.)

It's super hilarious that he's demanding the Doc be internet-subpoenaed and banned for being a nuisance, considering Sweetie's own status over at AJM as "that creepy racist fart fetishist who we have to tolerate because Jesus or something."

Blah blah comic that no one cares about. Count the number of times you see the words "is based on" or "is a nod to" or something similar. Can the man do anything original, or just make ugly pastiches of the things he's seen on TV?

Have you guys noticed that a lot of these comic pages he scans in have these...brown stains on them?
Z65YBcFM7dFP.jpg
I can't tell if it's his scanner making his pencil sketches look like shit, or if it's literal shit because he can't be arsed to take any measures to protect his artwork. Nobody told him to store his drawings in a portfolio/plastic file box/3-Ring Binder of Fail!

Extra hilarity in this ad showing up in the sidebar:
57829cc249c14e189bc4fc79612e8c160bf8af01.jpg

This ad is wasted on Sweets, who will never bother to try learning anything because the "skills" he already has have suited him juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine for the past 40 years.
 
I'd say there's a 20% chance the stains are Hot Pockets filling, 40% they're mold from his bedroom, and 40% they're his own feces.
 
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No one told him how to use a lawnmower!

He tends to be technophobic I've noticed. He regularly mentioned he had no clue on how to work on, use, or fix a variety of appliances back when he was given a job at Ma Sweet's beau's shop. So really, him not understanding a pushmower or even a tractormower is not shocking.
 
Yeah, but I don't lose sleep over it, because the dude's also an asshole..
Oh I wasn't denying that Sweet consistently acts like a jerk. In fact, that's part of the personal hell he lives in.

[spoilered pic]
It's down. Is that good?

He tends to be technophobic I've noticed.
Sweet could use one of those mechanical old-timey mowers, but he may not be in the best of shape to operate one.
 
Sweet could use one of those mechanical old-timey mowers, but he may not be in the best of shape to operate one.

The man's such a Luddite he'd probably give up on using some fancy grass-cutting device, his yard looks juuuuuuust fine.
 
So, this might be vaguely unrelated, but given Sweets's rabid hatred and distrust of Liberals, could we see him unironically supporting Trump should he somehow become the Republican nominee?
 
So, this might be vaguely unrelated, but given Sweets's rabid hatred and distrust of Liberals, could we see him unironically supporting Trump should he somehow become the Republican nominee?

He buys into whatever he hears from his main news sources, who I recall mainly being Limbaugh and other outlets like that. What they say, he will likely support without thinking.
 
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