🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[ToroidalBoat]

Or just that he's embellishing his tale?

Given how warped Sweet's view of college life was, I'm guessing that's a possibility.

So much slime.

Monstergirls are getting more popular nowadays, but the way Sweet likes them and what situations he likes them in is probably creepy, given the bizarre fetishes he likes and his current personality - even if monstergirls aren't creepy per se.

Nobody told him.

Someone in another thread (I think it was the Connor thread) explained why so many "lolcows" (like Connor, CWC, Mylar) like the look of pedo glasses. I believe it's because they're cheap and they lack the social awareness to see that they're not very attractive.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Asking for fashion advice or just posting on tvtropes is textbook definition autism.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Sweet is basically a Creepiness Singularity at this point. We know he's creepy, but he's so creepy that we cannot comprehend the depths of his creepiness. Fortunately, this actually limits his ability to do damage, as any sane person (especially women) can detect him at range and avoid him. Also, his political aspirations are doomed to failure as no person, especially a bootstraps conservative, would willing associate with Sweet, and he will remain spewing his filth impotently on the internet for the remainder of his life or until he finally commits a serious enough offense to warrant prison time. He will not survive long in prison.

 

[Holdek]

And yet when I actually outline a plan to "be the change", all I hear is, "Nuh nuh nuh! You is not has nuh hairpiece' cuz we is not let you has the money!

What is Sweets complaining about here? That his welfare doesn't cover wigs?

Someone in another thread (I think it was the Connor thread) explained why so many "lolcows" (like Connor, CWC, Mylar) like the look of pedo glasses. I believe it's because they're cheap and they lack the social awareness to see that they're not very attractive.

Kind of makes you wonder why pedophiles like them so much too, though.

Sweet Bro + DeviantArt = stratospheric creep factor.

This one is called lolfeathertorture, just to give you a heads-up
"Very cute...she looks no more than ten here"
Amazingly, Sweet isn't actually the biggest jailbait apologist on this page...

There's also his favourites folder named "Sexy Pics".
Page 1
Page 2

Looking through as much as I can stomach, I can see that - in addition to the fetishes we already knew about - Sweet is into zombie girls, magical transgenderism, and slime. So much slime.

(From earlier in this thread, to Sweet Bro: )

Isn't being a furry pedo brony your ideology though?

 

[sonichuis44]

Someone in another thread (I think it was the Connor thread) explained why so many "lolcows" (like Connor, CWC, Mylar) like the look of pedo glasses. I believe it's because they're cheap and they lack the social awareness to see that they're not very attractive.

Weren't they fairly popular in the late 80's/early 90's? I remember my mom and dad both having huge lenses, and my first couple pairs were huge too, relative to today's styles. I always assumed it was because it's what they remember their parents and relatives wearing, and autism prevents them from thinking further than "Dad wears them, I like my dad and want to be like him, so I will wear them too." You know, they way you get a toddler to wear big-boy undies.

What is Sweets complaining about here? That his welfare doesn't cover wigs?

Kind of makes you wonder why pedophiles like them so much too, though.

Given how much pedophiles apparently love Star Trek, I wonder if there isn't a link between autism and pedophilia...

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Weren't they fairly popular in the late 80's/early 90's?

I think so. And we know how Sweet wants to go back to half-past 1997...

Given how much pedophiles apparently love Star Trek

Star Trek being loved by pedos? That's unexpected. I hope they don't ruin it for the non-pedo fans.

As for a link between pedophilia and people with autism, I'd guess that impaired social functioning inhibiting relations with one's peers, combined with impaired sexual development, may result in some people on the spectrum turning pedo. I don't know how prevalent pedophilia is among people with autism though. I know that having an autism spectrum disorder does not automatically make one a pedophile.

 

[Holdek]

Star Trek being loved by pedos? That's unexpected. I hope they don't ruin it for the non-pedo fans.

It's got too much of a mainstream fanbase for that.

I haven't read the article yet, but I'd imagine pedos like it for the same reasons any other marginalized group does: it presents a society that has evolved to be more tolerant of diversity, so any deviant (in the neutral sense of the word) can graft on to that "Well in such a more enlightened future society I would be accepted for who I am." I don't think the show is attractive to pedos per se, though, as it doesn't have children as main characters nor is it childlike. A better case could be made for bronies but even that's making assumptions.

As for a link between pedophilia and people with autism, I'd guess that impaired social functioning inhibiting relations with one's peers, combined with impaired sexual development, may result in some people on the spectrum turning pedo. I don't know how prevalent pedophilia is among people with autism though.

It's an interesting topic.

Chris has also said pedo-ish things before but he's most likely not a pedophile. I think some of the autistic reasons have to do with lack of facial recognition, not understanding what isn't acceptable to say out loud, how to communicate things, etc. If you showed a photo of the face of a 15-year-old girl to Chris, and then a photo of a face of a 20-year-old woman, he probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference. He only has the "B-Cup Minimum" way of gauging age. And Sweet has indicated that he likes teenage girls, and while definitely inappropriate and creepy, he's not saying he wants to fuck 8-year-old kids. He mostly concentrates on supple breasts ripening in the Southern sun (again: not cool, Sweet).

On the other hand, Sweet may actually just be a huge pedofork.

So I was reminiscing a bit a reading some of Sweet's first posts on the Farms.

This might be supportive of our theory of Sweet's mother managing his money for him:

(in a thread about what kind of job Chris could get)

Maybe the boss could write his checks directly to Barb, who could give him an allowance. It just seems strange he controls his own money, even after he's proven himself incompetent at it.

In this gem Sweet believes that "Ashleigh" continues, to this day!, to cavort with students at ASU:

Hey, my ex does it. She's in her thirties now, and no one says one bad word against her when she hangs around the dorms and fools around with men ten, 12 years younger than her.

And I just thought I would repost this one for laughs. It's one of my favorite Sweet quotes :

I was barely getting a dozen channels to begin with, and then I lost the remote. So I've been stuck on one channel--at least it's one I like, but how many times can you watch the same episodes of Gilligan's Island over and over?-- for weeks on end now.

 

[Adamska]

That last one's hilarious as hell to me, since I believe most cable boxes allow you to get up and change channels in case of this. The fact he couldn't bother to look for the remote or just do what I said says a lot about his competence and work ethic.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

So I was reminiscing a bit a reading some of Sweet's first posts on the Farms.

That's a sweet post to commemorate 200 pages of the Sweet thread.

Anyway, given that projection tendency, I'd say that first quote is evidence that Sweet's mom manages Sweet's finances - especially if he's "blowing tug"* on commemorative bricks and scams that sucker him in.

That last quote is from a post that illustrates just how much of an unhealthy obsession Sweet has with TV.

Come to think of it, TV seems to have been the primary focus of his life. From the TV ratings system and "the phantom sketch" to Belch Dimension's apparent focus on TV references - you get the idea. It's almost like TV is to Sweet what trains are to Len.

*(I forget who came up with that expression, but I like it)

 

[Holdek]

Anyway, given that projection tendency, I'd say that first quote is evidence that Sweet's mom manages Sweet's finances - especially if he's "blowing tug"* on commemorative bricks and scams that sucker him in.

Yeah, and the whole deal with his brother and the forged checks...I'm not sure how it all went down, but I was reading in the ADF subforum that ADF had to get a judge to transfer authority of his tug from his mother to him. So it makes sense that Chris' tug was set up to be sent to Bob (and now Barb) and Jon's tug is sent to his mother, since they both live with their mothers rent free in their houses

Spoiler

excuse me, I meant to write that their mothers live with them

.

That last quote is from a post that illustrates just how much of an unhealthy obsession Sweet has with TV.

Come to think of it, TV seems to have been the primary focus of his life. From the TV ratings system and "the phantom sketch" to Belch Dimension's apparent focus on TV references - you get the idea. It's almost like TV is to Sweet what trains are to Len.

*(I forget who came up with that expression, but I like it)

I think he revealed in the AJM interview that he was a social outcast as a child and so grew up with TV.

 

[sonichuis44]

That last one's hilarious as hell to me, since I believe most cable boxes allow you to get up and change channels in case of this. The fact he couldn't bother to look for the remote or just do what I said says a lot about his competence and work ethic.

My past two cable boxes have had no buttons at all on them, but keep in mind when Sweets says "cable box" he actually means the DTV converter box he uses to pick up over the air TV broadcasts and display them on his old ass TV. He is still absolutely incensed that the US switched from analog to digital broadcasting, calls it "ObamaCable" (even though the decision was made during the Bush administration and resulted in a massive giveaway of newly-freed spectrum to business interests) and believes it's all part of the liberal conspiracy to keep him miserable because he can't get as many channels.

Spoiler: Nerdy diversion time

This is probably true, because DTV is a lot more "all or nothing" than analog was. With analog TV, if you're slightly too far away from the transmitter or there's too much interference or something, you get a grainy picture and fuzzy audio, but it's still more or less viewable. With digital, you either receive the signal or you don't, so a poor signal will result in the picture and audio cutting in and out, if it displays at all. On the plus side, the newer technology squeezes more info into less spectrum, so most broadcast channels now have 1-3 subchannels - the "Gilligan's Island" channel he's referring to is probably a retro TV subchannel of a network affiliate like the local ABC or CBS station. So he probably gets as many or more channels as he did before, in higher quality, but it's different channels, so it's bad.

 

[Holdek]

My past two cable boxes have had no buttons at all on them, but keep in mind when Sweets says "cable box" he actually means the DTV converter box he uses to pick up over the air TV broadcasts and display them on his old ass TV. He is still absolutely incensed that the US switched from analog to digital broadcasting, calls it "ObamaCable" (even though the decision was made during the Bush administration and resulted in a massive giveaway of newly-freed spectrum to business interests) and believes it's all part of the liberal conspiracy to keep him miserable because he can't get as many channels.

Spoiler: Nerdy diversion time

This is probably true, because DTV is a lot more "all or nothing" than analog was. With analog TV, if you're slightly too far away from the transmitter or there's too much interference or something, you get a grainy picture and fuzzy audio, but it's still more or less viewable. With digital, you either receive the signal or you don't, so a poor signal will result in the picture and audio cutting in and out, if it displays at all. On the plus side, the newer technology squeezes more info into less spectrum, so most broadcast channels now have 1-3 subchannels - the "Gilligan's Island" channel he's referring to is probably a retro TV subchannel of a network affiliate like the local ABC or CBS station. So he probably gets as many or more channels as he did before, in higher quality, but it's different channels, so it's bad.

He probably gets more channels than he did before in addition to his old favorites. The problem is that he lost his remote control for several weeks and couldn't figure out a way around that problem.

Another problem (and this is what is at the core of his LOLcowdom) is that he wrote that without realizing that it sounds totally crazy.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

Sweet, getting up from his chair to change the channel from the converter box? Preposterous! He can't be bothered to get up to take a piss.

I'll bet that NOBODY TOLD HIM that it could even be done

 

[sonichuis44]

Sweet, getting up from his chair to change the channel from the converter box? Preposterous! He can't be bothered to get up to take a piss.

I'll bet that NOBODY TOLD HIM that it could even be done

All I hear is Nuh uh you is not can haz dat remote control! you is has to get up an change da channel yuhssef! you is has to use da leggyweggies to walkies across da room!

He probably gets more channels than he did before in addition to his old favorites. The problem is that he lost his remote control for several weeks and couldn't figure out a way around that problem.

Another problem (and this is what is at the core of his LOLcowdom) is that he wrote that without realizing that it sounds totally crazy.

No that's probably the only correct part of his rant. He probably doesn't get all the channels that he was right at the edge of range for, or possibly only gets them when the atmospheric conditions are right. It's still retarded though, because instead of getting 3 ABCs and 3 CBSes, he gets 1 ABC, 1 CBS, and 3 completely different channels. And if he really wants WFRT ABC 35 out of Hog's Holler, AR he could probably set up a directional antenna (or even just pick up a better omnidirectional antenna) and get them, but Mom won't let him buy it/the liberals are conspiring to keep him from it/nobody told him you can make one with a fucking Pringles can/etc.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Sweet's aversion to change guarantees he will never rise above his current circumstances. I would feel bad for him, but in light of all the criminal shit he's pulled, like stalking completely innocent people and slandering people who had the audacity to be more successful than him, I don't have any sympathy.

 

[Holdek]

Sweet's aversion to change guarantees he will never rise above his current circumstances. I would feel bad for him, but in light of all the criminal shit he's pulled, like stalking completely innocent people and slandering people who had the audacity to be more successful than him, I don't have any sympathy.

Plus we basically saw him destroy a forum (AJM) in real-time without any sense of responsibility for what he was doing.

 

[John Titor]

What is Sweets complaining about here? That his welfare doesn't cover wigs?

Kind of makes you wonder why pedophiles like them so much too, though.

Something went wrong with the quoting so I'll try it again. Sweet was saying that all he has to do is lose weight and buy a hairpiece and he'll become the chick magnet he was in college. Another poster said it's a waste of time to bother with college women since he'll never look youthful again and should just focus on the present which prompted that response.

 

[drtoboggan]

Pissing in a bottle so you don't miss any TV is a bit silly. If he put that much dedication into being a decent person instead of watching all the commercials, he could make Arkansas an actual state.

 

[Holdek]

Something went wrong with the quoting so I'll try it again. Sweet was saying that all he has to do is lose weight and buy a hairpiece and he'll become the chick magnet he was in college. Another poster said it's a waste of time to bother with college women since he'll never look youthful again and should just focus on the present which prompted that response.

Yeah, but no one is stopping him from getting a wig except whoever controls his tug, right?

 

[Le Bateleur]

Yeah, but no one is stopping him from getting a wig except whoever controls his tug, right?

WIGS ARE EXPENSIVE.

Sorry, wrong lolcow. Er...nobody told him where to buy wigs.

It's Friday, so we should be looking forward to moar Stuff that Couldn't Make it Into the Belch Dimension. Will Jon-Boy meet the deadline, or will we have to wait until Monday to see more of ALFichu vomiting?

Make like you lost the remote to your TV with only one channel anyway...and stay tuned!