🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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It's Friday, so we should be looking forward to moar Stuff that Couldn't Make it Into the Belch Dimension. Will Jon-Boy meet the deadline, or will we have to wait until Monday to see more of ALFichu vomiting?

Make like you lost the remote to your TV with only one channel anyway...and stay tuned!

He missed his deadline, uploading at about 1:20 a.m. CST on Saturday, yet he dated it for Friday. I wonder if he ever made a deadline at The Herald, and if that contributed to his firing?

http://haggismccrablice.deviantart.com/journal/Jul-03-2015-543957480

I skimmed it and it's basically him talking about a ripoff "one big homage" of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory that he didn't include.

This part was kind of an interesting insight:

Jon the Manchild said:
It serves to remind us that our hero, brilliant mind and super abilities aside, is only a child himself and can be prone to severely misreading a situation. This and "Belching Jon Malcontent" (which I will look at next week) are two episodes that best illustrate Jon's inability to handle great success well. He becomes greedy, manipulative, and makes poor decisions. Of course, his friends realize this flaw in him and, once all is said and done, readily forgive him and embrace him back into the fold, because that's what real friendship is all about. They have loyalty... something I find all too lacking in what we laughably call the "real" world.

At the end he approves of the shopped photo of him with a wig that someone here did and complains about change again.
 
Besides us, who the fuck does he thinks is reading this bizarre inside scoop to his terrible comics?
 
I skimmed it and it's basically him talking about a ripoff "one big homage" of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory that he didn't include.

Here Jon describes the fates of the 'bad' kids in a courtroom scene at the end of his story:

"Exhibit A is the kid who fell through a trapdoor and is now in a body cast. The boy sliced and diced by the helicopter blades is exhibit B. There's nothing left of the "Violet Beauregarde" functionary but her hair ribbon, exhibit C (in the original script, she persistently teased a dog, who grew so angry he seized her and swallowed her whole, but in the finished comic she ate so much bubble gum her gut, like her film counterpart, swelled up like a party balloon). All that remains of the German boy is inside a cremation urn (exhibit D). This is what gluttony will get you. The tone of this scene is pretty grim."


What a complete and utter psychopath.

ETA:

Recently some of my "fans" tried to mock me by adding a Kramer-esque hairdo to my picture to see what I'd look like with a wig. I say it looks pretty good, actually. That is about how I looked 20 years ago. Now if only they could just match my shade, it'd look just like I did 20 years ago. I have not fundamentally changed since my college days.

So you were as jarringly ugly twenty years ago as you are now? Huh, he's right. He doesn't change.
 
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At the end he approves of the shopped photo of him with a wig that someone here did and complains about change again.

I love how, to Sweet Bro, it's only his hair that's changed since half-past 1997.

Sweet Bro said:
Recently some of my "fans" tried to mock me by adding a Kramer-esque hairdo to my picture to see what I'd look like with a wig. I say it looks pretty good, actually. That is about how I looked 20 years ago. Now if only they could just match my shade, it'd look just like I did 20 years ago. I have not fundamentally changed since my college days. This is how we lived and how we were taught, and what was good enough for me in 1997 is good enough for me now.

I'm pretty sure that Jon's autism prevents him from recognising or remembering any details about his face except the very prominent ones like his hair, his beard, his nose etc. Just coming back to @John Titor's shop for a minute, it's obvious even with the potato resolution of Jon's camera that this is a middle-aged man, not a man in his early 20s.

upload_2015-7-4_7-51-22.png


Blue arrow: prominent forehead wrinkles.
Red arrow: bags under eyes
White arrow: deep wrinkles in the middle of the cheek
Yellow arrow: deep wrinkles at the bottom of the cheek

Sweet looks his age, or older. Maybe it's genetics, maybe it's diet, maybe it's a lack of a good skincare regime. But even in the world's most convincing wig, he'd still not look like a college-age man. With very few exceptions, no 39-year-old man would without professional makeup and some cosmetic surgery.

On the positive side, Sweet has managed to find a DA artist who is both older-looking and creepier than him. They've seemed to hit it off, and are discussing coprophagy and chauvinistic headwear (caution, lewdity).

Also, either DeviantArt blocks links to this place, or this place blocks incoming links from DA. Try it.
 
I love how, to Sweet Bro, it's only his hair that's changed since half-past 1997.



I'm pretty sure that Jon's autism prevents him from recognising or remembering any details about his face except the very prominent ones like his hair, his beard, his nose etc. Just coming back to @John Titor's shop for a minute, it's obvious even with the potato resolution of Jon's camera that this is a middle-aged man, not a man in his early 20s.

View attachment 35778

Blue arrow: prominent forehead wrinkles.
Red arrow: bags under eyes
White arrow: deep wrinkles in the middle of the cheek
Yellow arrow: deep wrinkles at the bottom of the cheek

Also his jowls.

To me Sweet looks like Wilford Brimley in his diabetus commercials in that photo.
 
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You know I was trying to figure out what about Sweeties newly shorn face that makes me laugh so hard, and then it hit me:

HE LOOKS JUST LIKE MY DAD :lol:

Obviously this means I'm a sleeper agent, and must be terminated.

@He Sets Me On Fire...

Alas, babylon. :semperfidelis:
 
So since we know he still reads this thread...

Hey Sweetums, why have you not bought one of these?
It's only a little over $5, just tell mommy you want to go buy cleaning supplies and I'm sure she'll jump up and throw money at you. And luckily for you, this is one tech that hasn't changed since half past 1997 - I bet you could even find codes to make it work with your VCR!
On the positive side, Sweet has managed to find a DA artist who is both older-looking and creepier than him. They've seemed to hit it off, and are discussing coprophagy and chauvinistic headwear (caution, lewdity).

Also, either DeviantArt blocks links to this place, or this place blocks incoming links from DA. Try it.

A Challenger Appears? I kind of want to see these two hit it off.
 
I'm not well-versed in the theory of Evolution, correct me if I'm wrong but didn't the Coelacanth survive to this day because it adapted to the ever-changing environment?
I did some hasty Googling so I'm not entirely convinced that I'm correct, but from what I gathered the Coelacanth may greatly resemble what it was back a couple million years ago, but it has some subtle adaptations that, of course, come naturally from living in a given environment in a period of time, to where there are distinctive, separate populations of coelcanths that are best adapted to wherever they settled. I'm going off of this article, so anyone a bit more savvy in this can correct me if I'm wrong.

Anyway, it took me the better part of a week, but I finally waded through all 200+ pages of this guy and... wow. Ummm... just wow. This man is... delusional. Like, a slightly more coherent Len. Although at least to Len's credit, he hasn't thrown his own family and friends as shields to deflect criticism whenever people call him out on shit (although Len might not have any friends in general, but that's saved for his topic anyway so off-topic sperging over).

I don't really know where to start or what to say about this guy. His rampant racism poorly disguised as "satire," his infantile grasp of the English language that is both a chore to chug through and almost insulting to anyone that can decipher his blithering nonsense, his immature and childish reactions to people who disagree with him in the slightest, or the fact that he suffers from such an insane delusion that Chris would call out as stupid. If Sweets was just slightly more past gone, it wouldn't surprise me to hear him asking where the fuck the "Kiwi Farms" were in real life.

And really, just mocking one of his "enemies" on her deathbed because she properly reacted to him being a complete and utter imbecile. Like, maybe I might have missed it reading through the topic, but did anyone on the AJM forum ever post an image of him taking the piss out of a recently deceased person? If anyone was even remotely on his side after that, I would suggest that they were as mentally deficient as Sweets was.

And I guess the thing that just utterly, utterly baffles me is that, even after all of this shit, there are people still willing to defend him. I know sticking up to your friends against some anonymous bullies is a noble goal and all, but I would like to reiterate, he spat on the grave of someone that just died because she was a participant in a university expulsion that happened due to his absolute ineptitude and stupidity in handling the event. I have no idea how anyone can take that at face value. I know people can change, and no matter what may have happened, whether he let his mother get beaten by a bunch of "urban black thugs" or whether he "stalked a girl that unjustly denied him his relationship" or whether he "lost a business venture for his comics because his "co-owner" skipped town on him," the fact of the matter is that the whole "mocking a dead woman" schtick isn't even that old. In light of everyone calling him out on his bullshit, he has learned nothing. Chris may not understand the social cues of society and why it's discouraged to have an attraction sign out at Wal-Mart, but at least he doesn't mock people who died recently, nor does he ever try to use the late Robert Chandler (bless him) as way to get fucking sex out of someone.

Ugh, it just occurs to me that with each and every passing lolcow that the Farms discuss, the more and more I would just love to take Chris out for a drink and congratulate him on somehow being the most sane fuck up I've learned about.

I don't really have a closing statement for all of this, but I think Ruin said it best, so I'll quote him:

Fuck this racist asshole. I hope this thread lives on forever.

Oh, and PS, the AJM boards are still closed to guests as of me writing this post. It's a telling sign when Stormfront is more inviting.
 
Nobody told Sweet that natural selection is about survival of the fittest, so he thinks adapting to change is for the weak.

I'm not well-versed in the theory of Evolution
I'm not really that knowledgeable about the specifics. However, from what I gather from various sources, evolution kind of happens every time a new creature is born - there's normally slight variations from the parents. If the adaptation is suited to the environment, the creature is likely to survive at least long enough to reproduce (natural selection). Given enough time, such "micro-evolutions" can become "macro-evolution," or evolution as we typically think of it (new species), kind of like how seconds passing by eventually become a minute. If a creature is adapted to the environment, significant deviation from that adaptation can be detrimental to survival, hence how coelacanths haven't really changed.
 
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On evolution: the fish Sweets was talking about hasn't evolved because its environment is still the same as it was millions of years ago. Sweets' environment, on the other hand, has changed, and he's suffered for not adapting to it.
 
On evolution: the fish Sweets was talking about hasn't evolved because its environment is still the same as it was millions of years ago. Sweets' environment, on the other hand, has changed, and he's suffered for not adapting to it.
According to him, he's a creationist. Forgive me if I'm horribly misinterpreting creationist dogma right now, but he must believe that, as such, the environment back in half past 1997 was perfect for him to become the infamous bad boy in journalism who has phone sex all day in a world where Belch Dimension is a household name, and only those Satanist Liberals would try to take away what God himself made for him, thus he hates change.
 
Referring to a political group as extreme is a little... troubling. Especially since it's him, and a group he plans to start. I don't want to think that Sweets could be the kind of person to use violence to try and get his way, but part of me can't help thinking it.

I'm a little sad that he didn't weigh in on the recent flag and gay marriage news.
A little late but I love that he talks about how he is with a group of Tea Domers. A more extreme version of the Tea Party he hasn't actually created yet.
 
Honestly, I think he would blow the minds of a lot of the tumblrinas. They're so obsessed with semi-imaginary pseudo-racism, I doubt they'd know how to handle someone being actually racist.

If Sweets was stubborn enough to stick around in this hypothetical scenario, he could very well become Tumblr's new plaything.

I haven't read the article yet, but I'd imagine pedos like it for the same reasons any other marginalized group does: it presents a society that has evolved to be more tolerant of diversity, so any deviant (in the neutral sense of the word) can graft on to that "Well in such a more enlightened future society I would be accepted for who I am." I don't think the show is attractive to pedos per se, though, as it doesn't have children as main characters nor is it childlike. A better case could be made for bronies but even that's making assumptions.

Nerd culture in general can make for a pedo shelter, since nerds are usually more hesitant to call out obvious creepers because they don't want to look intolerant. Star Trek just happens to be one of the oldest sci-fi fandoms.

This other guy's devian art id is just too great
273e59c9cd10ea17b3892a13e9859351.jpg

This image still floats around on the part of Tumblr that loves reblogging bizarre internet shit. Truly a modern classic.
 
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