🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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Basically he wants to be able to get everything he wants with no drawbacks. Like modern technology, shitty buffet food, no family to tell him what to do, and a big TV so he can flap at kids shows. Basically he's the exact strawman a "By the Bootstraps" Conservative would mock, which adds to the hilarity..
I think it goes beyond that. He wants things to be the way (he percieves) they were in 1997. He's always talking about "the rules" that "the liberals" imposed on him; 1997 is the last time he felt like he had a grasp on them. From his perspective, that was when he understood how the technology worked, he understood the political climate, he understood social interaction and romance. Things changed, in some way he didn't understand, and he was traumatized, so he fixated on the last time he understood things and decided that the changes were bad. And since the world has only continued to change since then, everything that's happened since must also be bad.

So basically, he wants to go back to a time where he didn't know his co-workers hated him and his girlfriend was a troll, and he wants to try to change things somehow so that doesn't happen, not realizing that the only thing that changed was hidden contempt became naked contempt.
 
Basically he wants to be able to get everything he wants with no drawbacks. Like modern technology, shitty buffet food, no family to tell him what to do, and a big TV so he can flap at kids shows. Basically he's the exact strawman a "By the Bootstraps" Conservative would mock, which adds to the hilarity..
Does he honestly believe everyone in the world had the exact same experiences as him back in 1997? I'm Sweet's age, and in 1997 I was busy learning how to be a functional adult. I wasn't in college at the time, I was working. Has it occurred to Sweet that not everyone (most people in fact) don't want to go back to then? Also, given Sweet's completely repellent personality, I suspect he'd have a hard time rallying anyone to his cause. And once his criminal record came out, I think most law and order conservatives would toss him under the nearest convenient bus.
 
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1997 is the last time he felt like he had a grasp on them.
What's interesting is that even then, he apparently didn't have a grasp on things, as accounts from others on how Sweet behaved in college illustrate.

Does he honestly believe everyone in the world had the exact same experiences as him back in 1997?
Yep. Sweet thought college dating consisted solely of girls calling up guys on the phone and meeting once in a great while for sex in the bathroom or broom closet, with no real maintenance or physical contact in the relationship (although Sweet is surprisingly still a virgin). Other people who went to college in half-past 1997 called him on his flawed view of college dating in the 90s, and he apparently still believes that's how dating worked.
 
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The World's Greatest Political Genius wrote: "I and my fellow Teapot Domers (a more extreme version of the Tea Party I am looking to assemble, made up of those working to bring the world back to half-past 1997 by 2024) will bend the world to our will. We will not let it bend us."

Another example of what I'm talking about when I say that Mr. Sweet never gets anything right. Teapot Domers? He's gonna name his movement after one of the most notorious scandals in U.S. history, one in which a crooked Republican transferred oil leases on public lands at ludicrously low rates to companies that paid him a small fortune in bribes. Sounds like a great idea; at least the voters will know what to expect..
 
In 1997 I was eight years old. I do not particularly want to go back to that.
 
Adaptation is for the weak - that's why there's so many dinosaurs around and all the little mammals that adapted to the post-meteor frozen hellscape died out.
Well, there are cockroaches still, which seems appropriate enough an analogy for what Sweet is.
 
Sweetums said:
I and my fellow Teapot Domers (a more extreme version of the Tea Party I am looking to assemble, made up of those working to bring the world back to half-past 1997 by 2024) will bend the world to our will. We will not let it bend us.

Is he voting for Hillary?
 
I think another thing Sweet would probably want if the "Teapot Domers" got their way is, of course, the revocation of TV ratings (which apparently have cost many Americans their jobs and have caused untold suffering),* as well as the return of bloated (as in bandwidth use) and antiquated analog TV broadcasting.

*(Sweet was projecting there again. Sweet thinks that because he lost an unpaid job at a school newspaper because he was accused of plagiarizing the "phantom sketch" based on TV ratings, many others have lost jobs and suffered from TV ratings as well.)
 
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The World's Greatest Political Genius wrote: "I and my fellow Teapot Domers (a more extreme version of the Tea Party I am looking to assemble, made up of those working to bring the world back to half-past 1997 by 2024) will bend the world to our will. We will not let it bend us."

Another example of what I'm talking about when I say that Mr. Sweet never gets anything right. Teapot Domers? He's gonna name his movement after one of the most notorious scandals in U.S. history, one in which a crooked Republican transferred oil leases on public lands at ludicrously low rates to companies that paid him a small fortune in bribes. Sounds like a great idea; at least the voters will know what to expect..
He should use a teapot to cover up that dome of his, yeesh!
Sorry.
 
Sweet projects what he expriences. If college dating to him was the chinaphone and broom closet hanky panky in half-past 1997, then that's what college dating was like to everyone in half-past 1997.

So that's why Sweet thinks that all TRUE and HONEST conservatives love Belch Dimension. There's that projection again.

*(Sweet was projecting there again. Sweet thinks that because he lost an unpaid job at a school newspaper because he was accused of plagiarizing the "phantom sketch" based on TV ratings, many others have lost jobs and suffered from TV ratings as well.)

Speaking of...

The Second Mrs. Pecker by Jon Sweet said:
The return of my wife's early hysteria concerned me. I confronted her about it, asking her in carefully couched, non-accusatory terms about her late hours, and she ranted at me with such explosive fury that I relented. She accused me of pursuing an affair with a certain redheaded woman I worked with--highly untrue, and what psychologists term pro-jection, or the attribution of one's own negative characteristics onto another. This infantile defense mechanism infuriated me further..
 
Speaking of...
Interesting. We know that everything Sweet writes is based off of his own life, so we can deduce that at some point he was emotionally ambushed by his shrieking harpy of a girlfriend accused of infidelity. And indeed, on one of his many blog posts, he writes...

In the late summer or early fall of 1999 I wrote the first story based on our rather unusual and sudden breakup, "Smitten With Her". It's the story of a couple, the Menteros. Ernest told Joey about the death of a beloved relative with whom he was very close, and she freaked out. They broke up briefly. While they were apart he slept with another woman, Susan Bridgett. In the end he tells her he just found out Susan is dead. She had AIDS, and he contracted it from her. The story ends with Ernest's suicide and Joey struggling to cope with the fact that she may be infected...and pregnant.

The story, with a few changes, is my own. Ashleigh dropped out of my life in January after I told her about my father's death. I met someone else--my own "Susan"--and effectively forgot her.

On Sunday, February 15, after Susan and I had just finished talking, the phone rang again. Curious, I picked up the phone--and was surprised to hear Ashleigh's soft Southern lilt after a month of separation.

For the next couple of weeks I was balancing two girlfriends. I loved Susan for her mind and the way we had so much in common; I loved Ashleigh's passion and her ebullient, unpredictable nature. I couldn't hurt either of them by picking her rival. But neither of them wanted to share me, and each would often snipe at and insult the other behind her back.

...that he was cheating on his girlfriend with his jailbait phone crush.

The best part is it puts the lie to the idea that Ashleigh "broke up with" him over his completely off-putting appearance and personality dad's death; the two women apparently knew about his two-timing, and as always he doesn't even consider that his own actions might be the cause of his predicament.
 
And indeed, on one of his many blog posts, he writes...

For the next couple of weeks I was balancing two girlfriends. I couldn't hurt either of them by picking her rival. But neither of them wanted to share me, and each would often snipe at and insult the other behind her back.

:story:

Sounds like the Sarah May-Julie rivalry. Do you think Sweet was getting trolled from both ends? Or just that he's embellishing his tale?
 
Sweet Bro + DeviantArt = stratospheric creep factor.

This one is called lolfeathertorture, just to give you a heads-up
"Very cute...she looks no more than ten here"
Amazingly, Sweet isn't actually the biggest jailbait apologist on this page...

There's also his favourites folder named "Sexy Pics".
Page 1
Page 2

Looking through as much as I can stomach, I can see that - in addition to the fetishes we already knew about - Sweet is into zombie girls, magical transgenderism, and slime. So much slime.
 
Stuff like this makes me think Jon has autism. He has a vague sense that his pedo-specs aren't cool, but he doesn't know what style of glasses are cool. So he asks about it, on TV Tropes. And his point of reference for "cool" is a man who had been dead for three decades at the time of writing.

Sadly, no troper answered Jon's question - and thus three years later when he finally gets new glasses, they're pedo-specs 2.0.

Nobody told him.
 
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