🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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Iconoclast said:
Jon and Josh's fake names when pretending to be newspapermen are based on famous journalists Bob Woodward and Leonard Bernstein, who uncovered the Watergate scandal and took down President Richard Nixon.
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For some reason I find this error particularly amusing. Perhaps because it's in the context of Sweet trying to sound learned while explaining the basics of a very commonly known historical episode.
 
It's hilarious because you'd think a guy who wants to be a great reporter would know the name one of the most important reporters in American history.
 
While he doesn't go too in-depth about Nixon, I'm interested in what Sweets thinks of ol' Tricky Dick.

I mean, he hated those damned hippies and progress minded Liberals, right?
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
It's a prank where one shoves pennies between a door and the door frame to keep the occupant of the room from opening the door.
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If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Iconoclast's perception of him being a god on campus was him misreading the situation... (I believe someone else pointed this out also)

Also, if I get the Ashleigh story right, this girl had a phone relationship with Iconoclast for awhile, then left him because of the playing the pity card for sex thing, and now Iconoclast sees it as him being pranked and he's trying to find her to seek closure or something?
 
Ca Ira said:
For some reason I find this error particularly amusing. Perhaps because it's in the context of Sweet trying to sound learned while explaining the basics of a very commonly known historical episode.
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Would have been even more lulz if he wrote "Leonard Bearstein"

The Mountain said:
While he doesn't go too in-depth about Nixon, I'm interested in what Sweets thinks of ol' Tricky Dick.

I mean, he hated those damned hippies and progress minded Liberals, right?
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He's talked about him before.
 
MarineTrainedTard said:
It's hilarious because you'd think a guy who wants to be a great reporter would know the name one of the most important reporters in American history.
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It's an especially weird error because Carl Bernstein pronounces his last name to rhyme with "machine", while the late composer and conductor Leonard Bernstein pronounced his to rhyme with "wine".
 
ToroidalBoat said:
If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Iconoclast's perception of him being a god on campus was him misreading the situation... (I believe someone else pointed this out also)

Also, if I get the Ashleigh story right, this girl had a phone relationship with Iconoclast for awhile, then left him because of the playing the pity card for sex thing, and now Iconoclast sees it as him being pranked and he's trying to find her to seek closure or something?
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There's a problem when it comes to putting stock into Sweet's version of events, which is that he comes across as 50% dishonest, 47% delusional, and 3% introspective.

From what I've read of the epic of Ashleigh, Jon had two girlfriends in college, one of which was over the phone, the other he mentions virtually nothing about. Ashleigh's role began when she called his dorm room looking for someone else, and then a relationship based on nothing more than free phone sex began. Between these two women, he chose Ashleigh, whom he may have offended by mentioning his dad's death, saying something anti-Catholic, and entreated her for sex due to her basically owing him, though I've yet to find any evidence of either exchange. She met him briefly - like, super-briefly- and he hadn't seen her since. At some point, he realized that Ashleigh may not have been who she said she was, and then he quickly began to invent a wild, complex, violent scenario in order to justify his continued stalking of her. While he paints himself as a hero, trying to warn young men and Ashleigh's father about the bloody dangers inherent in her continued lustful behavior (none of which has been backed up by facts or in any way evidenced to be true), he has whined that he pines for her, wants her to love him again, and has complained about how her possibly becoming an upstanding mother of two does little to help his "poor boner".

I may have missed some details, the problem with every bit of this story is that it is rife with moments of logical reflection. Jon knows that his relationship was entirely over the phone. He knows that Ashleigh was a false name, and that the woman in question was a minor at the time. This indicates any number of things, primarily that he'd gotten the wrong person in his search, which looks to be a common error on his part. He figures that he ruined his chances with her by saying something inappropriate, whether he blames himself or not. He knows that he had to come up with a reason to keep harassing 'her' and 'her family' in order to make him seem like the underdog. However, on rare occasions, he has been honest about his feelings for her, which are completely selfish. It's got nothing to do with protecting anyone. Jon is horny, lonely, and unloved, and he wants this fictional creature to come fix everything for him.

The problem is his shifting perspectives. Like Shadow Fox said, Sweet's story changes depending on whether he's happy or not. Often, the content may stay the same, it is the perspective from which they're told that differs. If Jon is upset about being trolled, he'll complain about people using the penny-lock trick on hapless victims. If he's trying to show how beloved he was as a columnist, he would have a money shower waiting for him upon opening his door. One is left simultaneously telling Jon to snap out of it while saying "Huh, no kiddin'".
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
There's a problem when it comes to putting stock into Sweet's version of events, which is that he comes across as 50% dishonest, 47% delusional, and 3% introspective.

From what I've read of the epic of Ashleigh, Jon had two girlfriends in college, one of which was over the phone, the other he mentions virtually nothing about. Ashleigh's role began when she called his dorm room looking for someone else, and then a relationship based on nothing more than free phone sex began. Between these two women, he chose Ashleigh, whom he may have offended by mentioning his dad's death, saying something anti-Catholic, and entreated her for sex due to her basically owing him, though I've yet to find any evidence of either exchange. She met him briefly - like, super-briefly- and he hadn't seen her since. At some point, he realized that Ashleigh may not have been who she said she was, and then he quickly began to invent a wild, complex, violent scenario in order to justify his continued stalking of her. While he paints himself as a hero, trying to warn young men and Ashleigh's father about the bloody dangers inherent in her continued lustful behavior (none of which has been backed up by facts or in any way evidenced to be true), he has whined that he pines for her, wants her to love him again, and has complained about how her possibly becoming an upstanding mother of two does little to help his "poor boner".

I may have missed some details, the problem with every bit of this story is that it is rife with moments of logical reflection. Jon knows that his relationship was entirely over the phone. He knows that Ashleigh was a false name, and that the woman in question was a minor at the time. This indicates any number of things, primarily that he'd gotten the wrong person in his search, which looks to be a common error on his part. He figures that he ruined his chances with her by saying something inappropriate, whether he blames himself or not. He knows that he had to come up with a reason to keep harassing 'her' and 'her family' in order to make him seem like the underdog. However, on rare occasions, he has been honest about his feelings for her, which are completely selfish. It's got nothing to do with protecting anyone. Jon is horny, lonely, and unloved, and he wants this fictional creature to come fix everything for him.
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Is Ashleigh the one he refers to as his "ex?" And also, did he just have phone sex with her once?
 
Holdek said:
Is Ashleigh the one he refers to as his "ex?" And also, did he just have phone sex with her once?
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Exactly. He refers to her as his "ex" as if he'd been actually dating her, when in fact it was a phone relationship that he claimed lasted merely six months. I'm not quite sure how many "spank sessions" they'd had, but frankly, given how obsessive Sweet is about it, I wouldn't be surprised if once was enough for him. Ain't like anyone else was going to offer him free sex, pretend or otherwise.

Okay, I know y'all have already seen this, but the following is exactly what I think we mean when we say that Jon repeats the same points, only with a different perspective. I'm presenting this from, once again, Fekul_the_Baby's Journal, emphasis mine:

As Thanksgiving weekend is a week past, Christmas rapidly approaches, and the fall 2007 semester draws to a chilly close, I wish to reiterate my simmering contempt for Arkansas State University and, in particular, its liberal socialist arm of miscommunication and elitism, The Herald. The school remains a seething bastion of roiling debauchery, and a shining monument to everything that is corrupt and depraved about America.
That said, it does have a few good points to it: a nice cable system, a state-of-the-art computer lab, and wonderful food three times a day. As a college, it's lousy. But as a resort destination, it shows promise. So my proposal is, we crap-can the whole university angle and just turn the place into a vacation stop.
I mean, it's halfway there now, with large screen TVs in all the residence halls, high-speed Internet, and buffet dining. They have a stadium, a convocation center, and an outdoor Pavilion. Let's book some A-list shows daily: Gallagher, Sinbad, Yakov Smirnoff, maybe book some A-list bands and showcase some local talent. We change the name to something spiffy like, oh, University Gardens (I'm still working on the name), just get rid of all the boring educational crap, and turn the residence halls into hotel rooms. They aren't far from that now, really. I mean, most guys in the dorms have some little piece of ass from the high school calling them up for free sex anyway; why not put that right in the brochure? Call them "escorts" or "colorful local girls who make your every dream come true". Let them do what they already like doing, just give them health and dental while they do it. Why not? They're as integral to the workings of the university as the cleaning and maintenance staff. I say stick 'em on the University Gardens payroll. Why have them be such a dirty little secret, something everyone knows about but no one speaks of? Let them do what they already like doing, just give them free health and dental while they do it. Take out the desks in Wilson Hall, knock out a couple walls, and put in wall-to-wall slot machines and those gadgets that turn pennies into souvineer buttons, like they have in Branson. Get a liquor license and serve hootch in the Woodlands--maybe put in some slots, a big-screen, and add more pool tables in the game room. Steam your cares away in our heated pool and jacuzzi. Relax on our state-of-the art jogging track and our weight rooms. Start distributing porno in the Dean B. Ellis Library. Shut down The Herald and use the presses to knock off a buttload of tickets, coupons for the various shows and activities, posters, booklets, and glossy fliers. Get rid of the boring Indian artifacts in the ASU Museum; put in some tourist attractions like two-headed goats and tilted rooms and a few skulls. Skulls are cool. Seriously, if we did that, we'd be the Vegas of the Mid-South.

A-State has seriously gotten away from its roots. In the old days, when it was still mostly farms out that way, students would get up and plow the fields each morning beforebreakfast and those who didn't work didn't graduate. Now you're lucky if you can get a student to do little more than roll over once or twice and rip a couple of good bedfarts before noon. They blow off lectures or take easy basket-weaving courses, expend as little effort as possible, watch porn, spank off on the phone nightly with their townie whores, and go tomcatting on the weekends looking for booze, pot, and free ass. The school is a joke. It doesn't prepare students for the real world, just for a charmed life of entitlement, hedonism and sponging off parents and the government. No one even goes to ASU for an education. They come to take advantage of the free grub and the perks that their big brothers and male friends fill their heads up with stories about when they come home on breaks and weekends. I say if you want that life, don't come here; spend that few grand in loans you're wasting on tuition on a weekend or two in Vegas or Reno, and have a ball there. Go to ASU to learn.
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Even if we were to assume that Jon was being ironic with the top paragraph, the shocking hypocrisy (shockpocrisy) of the second paragraph makes it pretty clear that at that point in 2007, he was bitter about not getting what he wanted. There's absolutely nothing indicated in any of his posts that he used his (apparently truncated) education for anything. What's more, the man has a colossal lack of interest in learning, as his patented whine of "Nobody told me -!" would demonstrate.

Edit: By the way, did anyone else pick up on this:

"spank off on the phone nightly with their townie whores"

What kind of whore visits you by phone? That's not a whore. That's a phone sex service. Different animal altogether.
 
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I'm torn between laughing hysterically (first two bits) and wanting to slap some sense into his empty skull (last paragraph).

His hypocrisy is practically... fuck, I can't even think of an adjective; luminescent. It's blinding.

I mean, holy shit, lock this clown up in a mental ward, this is the most delusional thing I think I've read (other than the obvious exception).

Cognitive dissonance, thy name is Jonathan Sweet.
 
Sweet commenting on some comics that reflected negatively about him:

Anyway, one of the wits who abides at this forum took pen in hand and did a satirical cartoon of me, and I must say it is actually pretty funny. Yes, unlike Chandler, I have a good sense of humor and can laugh at myself.



Some of the information seems to have come from my posts at TV Tropes forum, such as about my "depraved bisexual" cat and my observation that a young kitten cannot tell the difference between a penis and a nipple. For the record I have never had a cat suck my d***, although Macio did try to breast-feed on my belly as a kitten. Also, a general smattering of the expected leftist insults, the typical harrangue about me being a racist, including the obligatory Klan reference, groundless accusations of plagiarism, and a predicatable and personal dig at my hero Rush. All that was missing was a line about NASCAR. Maybe he's saving that for part two. The line about Kim Possible refered to a scene in "Steel Wheels" where she swallows a whole handful of nachos and cheese without chewing.


Yes, I agree, Kimmie, it was pretty gross...yet oddly erotic.
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The Iconoclast is a pervert.
 
Interesting. Just like ADF a large part of his self worth comes from the fact that he perceives himself to at least be better than Chris. Not a very high bar to aim for but eh whatever.
 
John can't really talk about being a lazy fuck when he lacks the testicular fortitude and common sense to even get a simple job to get the cash for his imbecilic crusade or to even fix the fucking mold growth and wall and ceiling damage. For fucks sake, even being a Wal-mart greeter would probably drastically improve his income, and still give him a lot of time to sit on his ass and do nothing. I was going to say that he should try a part-time shift at a fast food joint, but I think Mr. Chandler not only shows why he wouldn't keep that job (being a slob in particular), but I think Sweets would probably lose his job even quicker than Chris.

Also all this bitching about not having a car because crackhead brother, who I legit think is at worst is a flake due to his battles with addiction (since the hospital thing is pretty legit for a person who is starting to suffer withdrawal), but the fact that at minimum at least half of what Sweets says is lies and most of the rest delusions, could be solved to some capacity by this:

republic_bike_portlandia_aristotle.jpg


That bike allows you to move faster, carry more stuff, makes your lazy ass less tired since you expend less energy and don't need to carry your cans now, and depending on where you live, can get you to your job quite happily. Especially if you live in town proper. And the best part? No drivers test to fail! And even better, you can just put training wheels on the thing to make sure that you don't fall!

I know he'd refuse this if he saw this, and it'd be pathetic as hell.

He Sets Me On Fire said:
Yup. Kind of like cheering "I can outrun that unconscious guy in the wheelchair over there!"
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Here's the thing: I consider Sweets less competent than Mr. Chandler at a variety of things, including holding a job and dealing with others. Let's not forget to mention that Chris can actually drive, and has likely seen more places in his life and is thus more worldly than Sweets. His comics even reflect that too, since it covers other ethnicities and while racist, covers them more positively and isn't as mean spirited.
 
At least Iconoclast is being honest now that he doesn't want to go to ASU for education. I wonder if he blew off lectures all the time like he claims the other students do?

Speaking of technology and the "state of the art computer lab", I remember earlier in the thread where Iconoclast was complaining that Hotmail wouldn't "honor" Win98 anymore, and he was thinking that the door of Hotmail would "always be open". When someone suggested Thunderbird last summer, he said:
The_Iconoclast said:
Thunderbird? Is that a program? In my neighborhood, that was what the gangstas on the street corner drank when they couldn't afford Sterno.
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Iconoclast also mentioned trying to contact his "former mentor at the college library" for tech tips, but they apparently didn't want to talk to him and they threatened legal action.

About the bike thing - he may complain that it wouldn't work for transportation because everything is too far away if he lives in a rural setting - he did mention that the hospital he was stuck in wasn't a "big city hospital like in TV" or something like that. Or he may say that his brother would steal the bike.
Or, that no one told him about bicycles. (you probably saw this coming)
 
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ToroidalBoat said:
At least Iconoclast is being honest now that he doesn't want to go to ASU for education. I wonder if he blew off lectures all the time like he claims the other students do?
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Considering he thinks they all got teenage ass like he "did", probably. He seems to be almost completely incapable of relating something to someone if it isn't something he did or involves him. He probably was that lazy guy, and then applied it to everyone else while ranting.

ToroidalBoat said:
Speaking of technology and the "state of the art computer lab", I remember earlier in the thread where Iconoclast was complaining that Hotmail wouldn't "honor" Win98 anymore, and he was thinking that the door of Hotmail would "always be open". When someone suggested Thunderbird last summer, he said:
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I actually know the booze he's talking about. It's a cheap as hell wine that leaves your tongue black.

But there's that journalism degree for you, as well as how he acts like a dickhead to someone that actually tries to help him. Seriously, it's not shocking that he got fired from the Herald with that smarmy attitude. Especially if he starts doing that Whitewash Jones impersonation of them to show how in the right he is.

ToroidalBoat said:
About the bike thing - he may complain that it wouldn't work for transportation because everything is too far away if he lives in a rural setting - he did mention that the hospital he was stuck in wasn't a "big city hospital like in TV" or something like that. Or he may say that his brother would steal the bike.
Or, that no one told him about bicycles. (you probably saw this coming)
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He'd likely use his brother as a scapegoat again. It'd be the most believable, since a desperate drug addict can and will fence whatever they have to keep the drug flow going. The distance thing is somewhat believable, but anything within ten miles can be reached within an hour at average bike speed... depends on where exactly he lives though.
 
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