🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Ti-99/4A]

Right. So, just to be clear: Doc Brown proposes a purchase of digital equipment which, priced at it's lowest, is $119. Jon throws up his hands and says "With what money?" Thus, saving about thirty dollars a month for the next four months? Out of the question. Just can't happen.

He shouldn't have to spend all that money to get to watch TV. The 1940s-1950s broadcasting technology worked juuuuuuuuuuuuust fine and shouldn't have been changed, remember?

 

[John Titor]

Updating the archive for good measure: https://archive.is/A4QVd
I never seen candy cigarettes sold anywhere but I am definitely sure there's no ban on them and you could get them on Amazon. Oh, whoops! (Although, I guess you can also find them in novelty shops).

I'll admit, I sort of heard about these sexual consent forms via South Park. I'm not sure if they actually are legally bound or if it's a common sight on campuses (never seen them at mine).

@Dr. Merkwurdichliebe is now a "Nazi bastard pal" according to Sweet. Which means that (1) Sweet automatically assumes he's German because of a Kiwi Farms name, and (2) he thinks Germany is still Nazi. We can expect no less from the Bad Boy of College Journalism.

I think @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe actually is German, not that it matters. Speaking of which, what's this Seventh-Sigma thing he's babbling about? I'm getting something about a Steven Gould novel.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

I never seen candy cigarettes sold anywhere but I am definitely sure there's no ban on them and you could get them on Amazon. Oh, whoops! (Although, I guess you can also find them in novelty shops).

They had them when I was a kid. Apparently, Sweet doesn't have enough cognitive ability to figure out that parents groups would've had problems with a candy that may have encouraged children to smoke. And, in fact, you are right. I looked 'em up on amazon. You can get a pack of 24 for less than $9.

Buuuut -

Now you have to buy a case of 'em that's probably been sitting in a warehouse for fifteen, 20 years and is stale as hell off a shady website and pay six times that for the privilege. Sure, you can walk into one of the legal pot shops in some Colorado or Washington State strip mall and buy your super-sized weekend baggie of Acapulco Gold, but you want a little stick of sugar with a bit of pink food color on the tip, you have to sneak around like a dirty deviant and give out your bank # and credit card info to God knows what freaks and mutants who will probably use that data to rob you blind.

Once again, Jon has exposed the core of his problem, and, as ever, it is his utter powerlessness and lack of agency in the world, particularly when it comes to his mother. See, it's actually cheaper, and far more convenient, to purchase things online, as opposed to dealing with the mark-up and availability of a convenience store. But, unfortunately for Jon, he's not allowed to have a credit card, and as such, can't buy things for himself. It's got nothing to do with "progress." He's blabbering all this negative nonsense because he's embittered about the fact that he has no ability to purchase anything outside of his allowance. It's sour grapes.

It wasn't E/I crap, infomercials, and interminable, trashy daytime talk shows.

False. Absolutely everything Jon talks about here began in the 80s or earlier. Likely what happened was that he was so focused on cartoons growing up, he failed to notice what else was going on. The 90s were famous famous for trashy daytime talk and infomercials. There was even a shotgun murder directly linked to the Jenny Jones Show.
Jon simply missed it all.

And women were different back then-- hotter, wilder, and more willing to experiment, no questions asked. Now if it isn't disease you have to worry about,

Well, this is simply absurd. AIDS was a major concern in the early 90s. If anything, women were less willing to experiment, for fear of catching it. As a matter of fact, one could argue that with the continued acceptance of more liberal ideas of sexuality that began in the 90s, college-aged women are more likely to be far more experimental now.

But this is all meaningless given whom it's coming from. Jon didn't know anything about women in college, knows nothing about women now, and will never know anything about dating. He's going to die alone.

it's having to sign complicated dating agreements in triplicate and having a notary present just to go out for a nice dinner,

Once more, we have Jon complaining about something he'll never, ever have to worry about. No self-respecting, fully awake woman with functional eyesight will ever want to risk being close enough to smell this walking tumor, let alone touch him or take him out to dinner.

much less get a little trim.

Jon Sweet is an ugly, disgusting pig who will die a virgin.

I'll admit, I sort of heard about these sexual consent forms via South Park. I'm not sure if they actually are legally bound or if it's a common sight on campuses (never seen them at mine).

You know, this really illustrates how utterly blind Jon was when he was in college. Being a year older than him, and actually having been involved in romantic relationships with women in college, as well as paying damn attention to things, I can tell you that whatever seemingly overprotective dating measures may be happening today, they got their beginning in the 90s.

The 90s was the pre-dawn of the SJWs (people who latch on to a social movement that is earnestly trying to address a genuine social illness, like institutional racism or homophobia). For every woman who may have experienced date rape or abuse, you can bet there were plenty of yalpers and drama-queens who made an over-the-top production out of the issue despite never having gone through the experience themselves. So yes indeed, people could be quite guarded about dating politics - and sometimes for good reason.

I know. I was there. I was there before Jon.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

"No reputable newspaper will hire me on with the stink on my name from The Herald fiasco."


Yes. Because that's what's holding you back from getting a job.

Sweetums, no newspaper in the world cares about you being fired from a podunk bi-weekly college newspaper two decades ago.

Your serious mental illness and general stupidity on the other hand...

 

[Bound2]

I think my favourite thing about the new journal is how Sweet's first instinct when praising the 90s is to talk about how great the television was. And we give Chris shit for being raised by TV!

 

[TheUltimatePickle]

"No reputable newspaper will hire me on with the stink on my name from The Herald fiasco."

No newspaper in the world is hiring anyone right now because print died a slow agonizing death while Thumbskull was busy jacking off to Kim Possible and plotting his revenge.

Mrs. TheUltimatePickle is a better journalist than John will ever be, but she works in adverting now, just like almost everyone else with a journalism degree.

 

[TowinKarz]

I wonder if he'll blame the Herald conspirators for shutting THE INDUSTRY down to keep him out when he realizes what a dead format papers are?

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Alternatively, I could see him crowing victory; THE INDUSTRY died because people finally got sick of all the lies da librul media was putting out. If only they had hired that gutsy, no-nonsense maverick, Jon Sweet; he could've saved them.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

And we give Chris shit for being raised by TV!

I think Sweet even blamed his lack of being with the times to Mama Sweet not letting him watch modern TV. In addition to being kicked out of paradise, of course.

 

[RepQuest]

Sweetums, no newspaper in the world cares about you being fired from a podunk bi-weekly college newspaper two decades ago.

Your serious mental illness and general stupidity on the other hand...

That hasn't stopped numerous columnists before.

 

[TowinKarz]

YOu could argue that a real renegade columnist is PROUD of how many publishers have fired him/her because they couldn't take the heat.....

 

[Adamska]

I think Sweet even blamed his lack of being with the times to Mama Sweet not letting him watch modern TV. In addition to being kicked out of paradise, of course.

Considering he refuses to take any responsibility in his life, that's a given.

 

[Adamska]

Now that I'm more free, time to laugh at the orkish equivalent of humanity that is Jonny boy here.

No reputable newspaper will hire me on with the stink on my name from The Herald fiasco.

I thought it was because of the fact you were a obnoxious social troglodyte that then proceeded to stalk and terrorize your former coworkers for a year until this depraved behavior was canned by the college. I do know that your criminal record is the main reason most places wouldn't hire you. Not that you would ever bother to apply you lazy man-baby.

They won't let me go back to school to complete my journalism training.

lol a bach degree will get you the job. I've said this like ten times bro. You just want to go back because you thought it was all free and you are the same type of welfare leech that Trump would burn off should he win office.

My records remain flagged and I can't return to my old college as long as the wrong people remain in power there.

lol it won't matter if they all die. Because your actions basically made it so you'll never be able to go there again you sociopathic fuckwit.

I can't transfer my credits to another school as long as they remain frozen, and I'm not sure another University would have the perks package I'm looking for anyway.

Like I said, you only care about all the stuff you delusionally thought of as free. You don't give a shit about learning for learning's sake and you don't give a shit about actually getting a job. You just want free shit you mockery of the right wing.

I only understand college lives, college jobs, college relationships.

That's why no one liked or hung out with you unless you stalked them you fruitbasket.

So I'm pretty much stuck until I can amass enough money to recreate my own little A-State on the outside.... a little haven for those, like me, ASU hath rejected... what your Nazi bastard pal Doc M. calls the "seventh-sigma outliers".

Get a job you little bitch. Oh wait, menial labor is too good for you, despite the fact you live in a literal hovel filled with rot and mold.

There's nothing wrong with my attitude or behavior.

Don't forget the attempt to forge child porn and the fact he creeps on young teenage girls.

In my day it got me lavished constantly with gifts and attention.

Getting pennied out or into your room is not a gift except to those who then didn't have to deal with you. Dropping a garbage can on you is not a gift. I know you are poorer than some Haitian families, but even they know what the fuck garbage is.

Now, it gets me roundly mocked and punished.

lol you were always laughed at due to being an awkward racist faggot who wore purple pants and children's buttons.

Why the one-eighty? Change is bad, but it is not wholly irreversible.

How dare I be expected to grow up and act like a normal human being. REEEEE ~ Jonathan Mack Sweet after leaving his mother to die

My work is about changing things back to the good old days, when you could say whatever you wanted without worrying someone would vandalize your car or leave a dead cat on your porch for it.

That's why crime rates are lower now and I can call you whatever the fuck I want you travesty of natural selection.

Back then life was good.

"My mommy did everything for me so I could sit on my ass and watch children's shows. How dare she get crippled by niggers. She should have fought them off. I mean I should have. Because I wasn't cowering like a bitch. I was calling the police, but they were gone. Why are all of you making fun of me?"

We didn't live our lives in fear.

Only your dormmates, that troll who catfished you, your coworkers, your tard wrangler, the poor bastards in the cafeteria, anyone who wanted to go to special events, and the janitors.

We had freedom.

That's why you were too retarded and greedy to gain the freedom of driving, the freedom of financial independence, or the freedom of responsibility.

We could walk around in our underwear outside whenever we wanted and not worry about what the hell our neighbors thought. People were real.

Gladly. In my day TV shows were better and there was far more variety-- sure, maybe not as many channels, but the ones we had were at least better quality.

That's why channels went out with a light drizzle, and any interception can fuck the picture horribly.

It wasn't E/I crap, infomercials, and interminable, trashy daytime talk shows.

Already covered, but you're utterly goddamned wrong and you "grew up" when that shit really started off.

You could walk down to the corner store and get a box of candy for a dime-- including candy cigarettes.

Not in the fucking 90's you couldn't. Anti Smoking was in full effect for years by this point. And you're full of more shit than Lake Michigan again Jonny. Candy was never evem that cheap when you were a sprog; an ounce of candy was maybe that price, but not a box. I literally looked for pricing using that technology you deem shit, and look; it worked and proved you dumb again.

Now you have to buy a case of 'em that's probably been sitting in a warehouse for fifteen, 20 years and is stale as hell off a shady website and pay six times that for the privilege.

So now it's only 60 cents. On Amazon, which I guess is now shady. Also Candy Cigs suck dick and I know you only got them to look cool you spaz.

Sure, you can walk into one of the legal pot shops in some Colorado or Washington State strip mall and buy your super-sized weekend baggie of Acapulco Gold, but you want a little stick of sugar with a bit of pink food color on the tip, you have to sneak around like a dirty deviant and give out your bank # and credit card info to God knows what freaks and mutants who will probably use that data to rob you blind.

The funny thing is people already proved to you that you can get them easy off amazon. Right shame that you proved to be too retarded to handle money eh? Because that would've actually been a better use of it than the one that made your mom strip that privilege: falling for scams.

And women were different back then-- hotter, wilder, and more willing to experiment, no questions asked.

That's why experimentation and willingness to bone was higher up during this new-fangled modern era. Nice job proving that you should just wipe your ass with that bach degree you refuse to use.

Now if it isn't disease you have to worry about, it's having to sign complicated dating agreements in triplicate and having a notary present just to go out for a nice dinner, much less get a little trim.

I think a restraining order only applies to people like you; you know, the ones that stalk and mumble lewd things as you plan to pump her full of pork and beans and listen to her shriek in fear and terror.

Maybe it wasn't perfect, but it was better. Progress? Pffft. Who needs it?

I will die alone and unloved, starving to death thanks to my own retardation. Blim blim blim.

And no real newspaper would have the balls to print anything like what I've said here, so that's why I don't apply to any.

Ya, most papers refuse to hire blatant thieves and plagiarizers like you. Damn shame it's all archived innit?

Even school newspapers are shying away from such controversial content, because they don't want to deal with the backlash from angry and offended readers.

Most school newspapers just report stuff about the school. Also the only reason any of your garbage is remotely risque is because you would probably accidentally admit to fucking your dog at one point or something. At minimum you would accidentally admit that black people should be sterilized or something.

Another reason why the 90's were better-- we could at least respect one another, and if your fellow staffers disagreed with you, they at least kept it quiet and under a tight lid.

"How dare they not tell me they hated me!"
"It's a good thing they never told me!"

Which one is it Jonny? You can only pick one.

Part of the reason journalism died in America was this loss of civility. Again: progress, pffffft.

It died because of technology bro. This same technology will also bury you because you are less skilled at learning it than my granny who remembers when I Love Lucy first came on air and worked with the Dems to elect Kennedy.

I don't want to work for someone else.

You're more entitled than most millennials. GG you liberal strawman.

I tried that. It's a bad idea.

Translation: I act like an entitled dick and got fired for acting like a manager and refusing to sit coloreds in the establishment I worked at.

I don't need the stress of always worrying about making that one mistake that could shut down the whole company, bosses skipping town and leaving me holding the bag, or coworkers constantly plotting against me behind my back.

This wouldn't happen if you were both less gullible and less of an antisocial sack of shit. Also this is all an excuse to not get a job since you are a lazy subhuman ape who can't even be arsed to mow the fucking lawn.

I don't need to always be having to look them in the eye to determine if they're secretly resenting me-- if anything, constantly staring at people's faces at The Herald is what got me in trouble, according to you Kiwi fruits.

I thought it was because you were an unpleasant fuck to be around. Like, to the point where you would actually chew peanut shells behind peoples' ears just to get them to pay attention to them. All while demanding everything you wanted and not giving back in return and shouting jokes at the top of your lungs. Probably didn't help you would curse out people randomly and then not do half the work you were supposed to do. All while not listening at all to your tard wrangler.http://haggismccrablice.deviantart.com/art/And-now-a-word-from-Dr-Leo-Greer-491360703

Leo Greer, a.k.a. "Doc Murky", believes seventh-sigmas are not allowed to make eye contact with "normal" people, because it throws them into a kill rage. That's why I'm looking into starting my own business. I just need the startup money and the right site.

Get a job you hippie.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Sweet saying he's not sure if other universities have the same "perks package" (read: standard amenities pretty much every American university has) not only shows what his priorities are, it also shows utter ignorance of the world outside of the Bootheel area (other than as presented on Saturday morning cartoons).

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Sweet saying he's not sure if other universities have the same "perks package" (read: standard amenities pretty much every American university has) not only shows what his priorities are, it also shows utter ignorance of the world outside of the Bootheel area (other than as presented on Saturday morning cartoons).

Yep. Once again, Sweet shows that he is literally incapable of learning without someone holding his hand all the way through it... and even then...

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

EDIT: He has expressed interest in going to graphic design. He claims he contributed to a logo of some sort.
https://archive.is/OAMWO

I got to see this.

And so you shall.

Spoiler: The New Water Plant in Hayti, Missouri

The logo looks as if it were the winning design chosen from a slush pile of entries submitted by every special-needs third-grader in the county.

I think @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe actually is German, not that it matters. Speaking of which, what's this Seventh-Sigma thing he's babbling about? I'm getting something about a Steven Gould novel.

My surname IRL is Old Norse, but I do have one German ancestor that I'm aware of. And he was actually a doctor. But not a Nazi. That Sweet considers me this site's "Nazi bastard pal" I regard as a badge of honor.

"Seventh-sigma outlier" was a phrase I used to describe Sweet's appearance and behavior in a post (right here) way back on Page 146 of this thread. (Two posts below the one I link to, @TheIceCreamMan goes into more detail, if you're interested.) It refers to a data point that is seven standard deviations from the mean. The phrase seems to have made quite an impression on Sweet, possibly because he recognizes it as irrefutably accurate.

Wait.
Hasn't Jon said before he watches TV in his room and that's why he pisses into bottles so he doesn't miss his precious cartoons?
But now they only have one TV and he shares it with his mom.
I can't believe his mom would go into his moldy, disgusting room, but after the vlog, I'm not sure the rest of the house is much better.
Depressing.

Jon doesn't write very well and is only specific when describing bone knives. The impression I got was that he pees in bottles when his long-suffering mom is at work, toiling to support her 40-year-old autistic manchild. There can be no doubt that Jon, being autistic, has a specific set of rules that govern when it is permissible to pee in bottles and when it isn't. The rules might even vary by location: dorm room, living room, bedroom, car, church, elementary school playground, and so on. It would be helpful if he would publish those regulations in his journal.

Is Jonny Turning into A Loveshy said
Leo Greer, a.k.a. "Doc Murky", believes seventh-sigmas are not allowed to make eye contact with "normal" people, because it throws them into a kill rage. That's why I'm looking into starting my own business. I just need the startup money and the right site.

It's funny to see Jon self-identifying as a seventh-sigma individual, but I don't recall ever making those comments about "eye contact with 'normal' people" and "kill rages." Jon is apparently projecting his own murderous proclivities onto others.

I am Guilty of Both Copyright Theft and Plagiarism said:
And no real newspaper would have the balls to print anything like what I've said here, so that's why I don't apply to any.

Jon will be surprised to learn that there are these things called "blogs." You can create one free. You can publish your opinion columns. You can publish your novel as a work in progress. If what you are writing is really good, people will find it. And people will pay to read it. The guy who wrote The Martian got his start this way -- and made a ton of cash. (Here's a link to a podcast describing how Wier made his novel a success, Jon. Nota bene: Don't expect the same results; Wier can write very well indeed; Wier can create an original, interesting and entertaining story; you can do neither.)

 

[John Titor]

And so you shall.

Spoiler: The New Water Plant in Hayti, Missouri

The logo looks as if it were the winning design chosen from a slush pile of entries submitted by every special-needs third-grader in the county.

Jon will be surprised to learn that there are these things called "blogs." You can create one free. You can publish your opinion columns. You can publish your novel as a work in progress. If what you are writing is really good, people will find it. And people will pay to read it. The guy who wrote The Martian got his start this way -- and made a ton of cash. (Here's a link to a podcast describing how Wier made his novel a success, Jon. Nota bene: Don't expect the same results; Wier can write; Wier can create an original story; you can do neither.)

Well, I guess Jon didn't make the cut.

Funny enough, Jon had a lot of blogs from Livejournal and for some reason Gamespot; which is very weird to me because he doesn't appear to be the gaming type.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Look Me In The Eye And Trigger My Kill Rage wrote:

Sorry, read the wrong page on my day planner.

The idea of Jonathan Mack Sweet sitting on his fat, lazy, unemployable ass in the Mold Palace and consulting his day planner is quite lulzy. We should have a contest to create the entries for a typical day in the life of Thumbskull.

 

[Adamska]

The idea of Jonathan Mack Sweet sitting on his fat, lazy, unemployable ass in the Mold Palace and consulting his day planner is quite lulzy. We should have a contest to create the entries for a typical day in the life of Thumbskull.

I thought a normal day in his planner was "Watch Children's Show, Sob Impotently".

 

[Picklechu]

I thought a normal day in his planner was "Watch Children's Show, Sob Impotently".

You left out "masturbate furiously."