🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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Oh God, no question about it, he'd flip out. The increased heartbeat would make him fear he was having a heart attack (this happened in college to my friend who was 20; it's not a logic-based fear) and the unfamiliar sensations... we all know how he reacts to things unfamiliar. A single hit of a mild strain and he'd feel like he had smoked all the salvia.

I mean, it would be lulzy, but unkind (pun fully intended). It would be like dosing someone with acid without their knowledge or consent. Anything that can induce paranoia, in this subject, will induce paranoia.
 
Well, his blog entry is up. Not much news except for the possibility that he has discovered a giant diamond (i.e., a piece of quartz or a weathered hunk of glass) in his back yard. (Add elementary school earth science to the list of topics to be studied at some vague time in the distant future.)

But treats are promised for next week, including an alternate history of what the world would be like if Jonathan M. Sweet had never attended college.
 
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Looks like Sweet is planning on adressing some posts of mine. Almost a month later.

[insert that one gif of that one dude dropping a chair]
Dis gon b gud.
 
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AJMLurker said:
http://haggismccrablice.deviantart.com/journal/Oct-09-2015-565283226
https://archive.is/5aSZ4

Yep, just new art work from his comic this week. Not surprised at all. After the last few beatdowns he received here, I knew Sweet would want to steer clear of the Farms on his blog for a bit.


And what demographic would this show appeal too? Besides yourself.
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And what demographic would burn the station to the ground before the first episode had finished airing? I'm guessing "people with 46 chromosomes."
 
So, yeah, again, not saying it's a real diamond, certainly not the Star of India or the fabled Klopman Diamond... but for a lark, I think I'll have it appraised. If it's a piece of junk, meh. Fine. But if it's real, it could fund my operations for years to come... and prove to my critics that my lifestyle may seem odd, spartan, repetitive, and somewhat frozen in time to them, but hey, it works.
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The logic here is so broken I don't even know where to begin picking it apart.
 
"DUUUH DI-YAMUND!"

So, tell me, Jon, do you own the property on which you found that precious stone? Because I believe, if it does turn out to have value by some distant miracle, it would be the property of your mother.
 
Here's Sweet Bro holding the Star of Blytheville:

upload_2015-10-10_10-31-46.png


This line in the description made me laugh:
If it's a piece of junk, meh. Fine. But if it's real, it could fund my operations for years to come... and prove to my critics that my lifestyle may seem odd, spartan, repetitive, and somewhat frozen in time to them, but hey, it works.
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"If by some random chance I luck out and find something valuable, then that conclusively proves all my life choices were correct!"

Also, I have a bad feeling that if Sweet Bro does tell the story about that skin on his wall, it will evapourate any residual sympathy for our hero. In his terrible Daria fanfic he makes a point of mentioning that his Mary Sue OC has a cat's skin on his bedroom wall.

That looks suspiciously like a cat's skin in the photo, likely a DIY tanning job :( If he found a dead cat, or one of his cats died, and he preserved the skin - that can be put down to youthful curiosity/edginess. But if he did anything to the cat before it died...
 
Why does Sweet have to have that catskin in that pic? Why not one with a close up of the "diamond" on it's side and not in dim indoor light? Oh, right...

Also, check out that QUALITY WATERMARK.

Looks like Mama Sweet is still making the Great Brain of Blytheville* do some yardwork. And like Le Bateleur said, Sweet's "logic" there is hilarious: "if one spends almost 2 decades stewing in old grudges, not really contributing anything to society, and peeing in jars, finding a hunk of glass diamond in the yard makes it all worth it!"

I can imagine Sweet going into some stereotypical monologue while holding up the Star of Blytheville* in the midst of a rotting yard on a dreary October day:
Sweet said:
They said I was a failure! Well who's laughing now?!
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Also - and painfully obvious - even according to that "logic," the success of his indeed "odd, spartan, repetitive, and somewhat frozen in time" lifestyle would be entirely dependent upon a highly unlikely factor outside his control. What if there's no diamond in his mom's yard after all?

That Sweet can still claim he's smarter than the critics is just... Yeah.

*(credit to Dr. Merkwurdichliebe and Le Bateleur)
 
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Hold on to something, my friends, because we are witness to an event that hearkens back to an historical moment, playing out here in front of our eyes.

It was nearly two decades ago when a younger Jon Sweet walked up to his dorm room door, opened it, and saw a bunch of pennies hit the ground. Ignorant of what the pennies were for, he jumped to the conclusion that their placement in his door was a reward for his editorials in The Herald. This uninformed belief would persist for years, twisting into the notion that his "fans" would "shower" him with "wealth," a ludicrous conviction which could have been easily dispelled by Sweet merely asking someone - an adviser, say, or the RA - why coins would be jammed in his doorway. Instead, it swelled his misguided ego for years under the overly-optimistic, wishful misunderstanding that he was being rewarded after doing little work.

Now, we, his only audience, are getting a new opportunity to see this kind of childish thinking put into action again. Sweet has no idea what he has, no real reason to believe it's worth anything, and, as I stated earlier, since it was found on his mother's property, it would be considered hers. But we see him hold the thing aloft and brag about it (unwise, as his house doesn't look all that secure; apparently, the lesson of poor Stringbean is lost on him) as if there's a good chance that the thing might be worth a fortune.

Now, to his credit, he acknowledges that it may be worthless, but that logical thinking is buried under Jon's victorious talk of funding his "productions'' and showing his enemies up. It's clear that Jon doesn't understand how pricing diamonds works. He looks at the thing with dollar signs in his eyes, without realizing that, if real, it may only fetch a couple hundred dollars, money that would go to his mother, not him.

As much as I enjoy seeing angry, bitter, beaten Jon, seeing Ignorantly Optimistic Jon is fascinating.
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
But we see him hold the thing aloft and brag about it (unwise, as his house doesn't look all that secure; apparently, the lesson of poor Stringbean is lost on him) as if there's a good chance that the thing might be worth a fortune.
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You're assuming he wouldn't just steal it.

Which, come to think of it, he kind of already has.
 
Under AR law, wouldn't Sweet have to know that a gemstone of value would be his mom's if found on his mom's property, in order to be guilty of theft? It's probable that no one told him, after all.
 
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ToroidalBoat said:
Under AR law, wouldn't Sweet have to know that a gemstone of value would be his mom's if found on his mon's property, in order to be guilty of theft? It's probable that no one told him, after all.
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Ignorance of the law is not a legal defense.

Even if he doesn't know that, he's still a thief. Most people don't need to be told not to steal from their own mother.
 
AnOminous said:
Ignorance of the law is not a legal defense.
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True, but laws like those against theft usually are violated only by knowingly doing certain actions.

In any case, I wouldn't be surprised if Sweet was too ignorant to know that if you find a valuable gem on someone else's property, it's probably not right to take it.

Also, I note that Sweet apparently plans to finance "his operations" - no mention of helping to repair the hovel or helping his elderly mom out with the likely nonexistent diamond profits.
 
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ToroidalBoat said:
True, but laws like those against theft usually are violated only by knowingly doing certain actions.
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Only the specific intent offenses like actual burglary or the crimes related to larceny, where intention to steal is relevant. A lot of those old laws have been revised out of existence.

Even there, the intent requirement is to steal, not to break the law. A mistake over whether property is yours because you legitimately mistake it for your own property as a matter of fact is one thing. For instance, you roll off a red wheelbarrow you mistakenly think is the red wheelbarrow you left somewhere. It's actually someone else's.

But if you think it belongs to you because you have a delusion that just walking off with other people's property is somehow legal, that isn't a defense.
 
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