🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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Very few people still use them, and I couldn't find any evidence of them still being produced- I think there's just a limited number of them still out in the wild..
They really were a pretty niche and badly thought out invention

They were pretty good for the time, but really had no solid upgrade path. Even worse were the Jaz drives. Again, for the time, this was a nice storage option, but they were comparatively fragile and rather expensive. But 2 GB storage was nice. USB flash drives really blew them out of the water, though.

I think at some point, the frozen-in-time Iconoclast is actually going to end up so far behind the times that he won't even be able to connect to the Internet any more. He seems too retarded (in its strict literal sense) to learn anything at all that he doesn't already know.

I know people in their 80s who are quicker on the uptake in adopting new things.
 
They were pretty good for the time, but really had no solid upgrade path. Even worse were the Jaz drives. Again, for the time, this was a nice storage option, but they were comparatively fragile and rather expensive. But 2 GB storage was nice. USB flash drives really blew them out of the water, though.

I think at some point, the frozen-in-time Iconoclast is actually going to end up so far behind the times that he won't even be able to connect to the Internet any more. He seems too retarded (in its strict literal sense) to learn anything at all that he doesn't already know.

I know people in their 80s who are quicker on the uptake in adopting new things.

Wholly agreed. I would imagine that Sweet would be utterly baffled by any computer technology beyond '97 if it weren't for his mother keeping him alive and buying things for him. Without her to carry him, Sweet wouldn't be able to keep up at all. Someone had suggested he go to a PC room to take care of his storage woes, only to have Sweet respond that he'd need a credit card, which he didn't have access to. The guy's completely hopeless, as he has inadvertently implied several times now.

Consider his response to @DrChristianTroy :

Look, that's how things were done in my day, where I lived, where I went to school. I think you need to open up your mind more, start looking outside your narrow little definition of normal, and learn to respect that maybe some people do things differently than you do, and and perhaps back then we did them even better.

Look, that's how things were done in my day, where I lived, where I went to school.

What Jon is essentially admitting here is that he is helplessly mentally retarded. Everyone learns how to do things in school, where they live, in their "day" - which, considering that Jon is still using computers, would be today. I, myself, grew up using Apple computers. When introduced to PC in my early adulthood, I learned to use those, and even to fix or upgrade them to a certain degree, well after I had finished university. Jon's speaking here as if learning things once blocks a person's ability to learn things later.

Of course, this is ludicrous. If not for the lessons of the past, we would not be able to build upon things later. Jon has not learned new things about computers, TV, artistic technique, or anything else of relevance, not because he chooses not to (though laziness has something to do with it, I'm sure), but because he cannot. He simply lacks the intellectual mechanism to figure out how to do unfamiliar things without a direct teacher. Simply finding the warranty for his laptop was like trying to escape a hedge maze with no exit for him. For a person of average intellect, the challenge would have been rather mild.

He seems not to notice that, while he could not keep up with new tech, his family, including his mother, could.

I think you need to open up your mind more,

This is a cry for help, and since I find Sweet to be such a loathsomely disgusting individual, I'm glad to see it remain unanswered.

Jon is a powerless loser with no influence of the world, and hardly any control over his own life. All it would take would be one bad argument between Tim and his new wife, and suddenly, with little forewarning, the Bull Moose would be living in with his mom again, bringing with him every possibility of a relapse into drug abuse, bad behavior, and more unpredictable violence on Jon. All it would take is one more day of frustration, and Jon's mom cuts him off from everything - everything, including a house to live in. There's nothing Jon can do to help himself at all. He simply doesn't have the mental capacity to take care of himself in any functional way.

Ever egregiously egotistical, however, as well as stupidly, irrationally combative, Jon can't simply say the respectful, honest thing. Something like,

"Well, I see what you're saying, but my problem is that I have a disability that prevents me from learning things at a reasonable pace. My perspective on computers may be highly out-of-date, or even completely inaccurate, but that's because I just can't process new information like everyone else. So, if I come across as highly ignorant about the subject, bear with me."

No, that would be admitting to weakness.

Of course, Jon admits to weakness all the time, but this is a weakness he cannot easily blame on others. "I went into the lion's den, and I got the claws," he said of his time here at KF. Well, see, that's an attempt to cover his failure by painting us at the bad guy. Jon won't admit his weakness unless he can get a dig in at someone. It's probably a means of trying to massage his bruised ego.

start looking outside your narrow little definition of normal, and learn to respect that maybe some people do things differently than you do,

Jon does not pass up the opportunity to try and chastise his opponent, even when making himself look foolish when doing so.

DocTroy's definition of normal is shared by everyone from master-class computer scientists to average houseparents typing out the community newsletter. It's Jon himself that has the problems with the computers he has. Even as I write this, I'm certain that he would not be able to come up with a single source who would agree with him. No one has Jon's computer problems but him.

What Jon wants is for the world to slow down for him. He's stuck on the side of the road with his car up on blocks, and everyone is rushing past him without paying him the slightest attention. He can't possibly keep up, but he feels entitled to being carried by the other drivers. Since no one will stop for him, he insists that the world slow itself to his speed, Stop.
and and perhaps back then we did them even better.

No. Simply put. He absolutely didn't.
 
Since no one will stop for him, he insists that the world slow itself to his speed, Stop.
As we already know, Sweet pretty much admitted that from the first page of this thread, where he said that ASU in half-past 1997 was the "one tiny corner of the world where [he understood] the rules," "change is bad," and how he wants to bring the world back to 1997 (that Teapot Domers thing). Sweet also desperately tries to stay in the late 90s, from having an unusual fixation on a taco salad recipe he learned in college, to insisting that Microsoft honor Windows 98 again.

And as we already know, Sweet's helplessness is evident through his desire to live at college forever, or to have a hip young assistant. It seems that Sweet wants the "complicated" things like his room and board handled for him, so he can focus on more pressing matters -- like watching Saturday morning cartoons and drawing comics featuring cartoon dogs with prominent anuses.
 
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He's going to be dead in a week when his mom dies unless she's made arrangements to have him cared for after she's gone. I can't imagine one of his brothers taking him in.
 
Sweet's fixation on returning to half-past 1997 is more evidence of his lack of theory of mind. He liked that period, ergo, everyone did. Powerlevel: I hated 1997, it was not a good time for me. Also, Windows 95 was crappy. 98 was marginally better, but things really didn't improve until XP. I have never seen someone with a level of learned helplessness like Sweet. I learned about computers simply by playing with them. That's how it's done.
 
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Sweet's fixation on returning to half-past 1997 is more evidence of his lack of theory of mind. He liked that period, ergo, everyone did. Powerlevel: I hated 1997, it was not a good time for me. Also, Windows 95 was crappy. 98 was marginally better, but things really didn't improve until XP. I have never seen someone with a level of learned helplessness like Sweet. I learned about computers simply by playing with them. That's how it's done.
Ya, half past '97 was shit for me as a kid too. And speaking of powerlevelling I still love how much of a powerless petty douche Jonny is when he learns you have or had something bad happen to you. He actively uses what he learns about that to try and emotionally damage you, which doesn't work when you realize that he is so poorly off in the braincase that he will die within a week due to starvation and thirst without ma Sweet.
 
He liked that period, ergo, everyone did.
I wonder how Sweet would like it if someone else came along and tried to make the world go back to half-past 2007 just because that was the period that they liked?

Suppose this hypothetical new challenger wanted the entire internet optimized for Windows XP, Windows Vista, and Mac OS X Tiger (and not Windows 98)? For standard definition DVDs to remain the standard for video? For Web 2.0 to remain in it's infancy? For any "chinaphone" to be over cellphones and early smartphones? For politics to remain like 2007 liberal politics (despite Bush being in office then)? And they wanted to found the Watergaters to do just that?

The irony of it would probably be lost in thoughts of dogs farting in Sweet's mind.

I still love how much of a powerless petty douche Jonny is when he learns you have or had something bad happen to you.
Don't forget that if he has no good counter argument, but you happened to make a simple spelling or grammar error, he'll probably proudly point out said error and claim, "Bam. Roasted."
 
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While proving through his shitty semantics and particle usage that his English Degree was given to him out of pity due to being a sped.

I think they gave it to him so he'd leave a la Chris. Luckily for them he spazzed out enough to get kicked out.
 
I think they gave it to him so he'd leave a la Chris. Luckily for them he spazzed out enough to get kicked out.
They had to. He wanted to become a professional student, living there as long as possible due to being an entitled greedy fuck. He was going for a Masters when his psychosis merited them booting him. And the best part is he left on his own volition due to not wanting to be proven as psychologically broken.
 
Or his eyes would just glaze over as he proceeded to "not give a shit."

And yet, he wanted to be a journalist! I just can imagine Jonathan Mack Sweet, journalist, being granted an interview with someone really important (for good or for ill) with things to say that should be heard; the Dalai Lama, Kim Jong Un, Pope Francis, Hassan Rouhani of Iran, and at the end of the interview he comes up with the following article:

"I met with Tin Boo Tee, leader of North Korea, at his home in Bangarang or whatever that city is called. He started talking and oh my god it was so boring, my eyes glazed over and I just zoned out. Who gives a shit what this liberal commie has to say?"
 
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They had to. He wanted to become a professional student, living there as long as possible due to being an entitled greedy fuck. He was going for a Masters when his psychosis merited them booting him. And the best part is he left on his own volition due to not wanting to be proven as psychologically broken.
It wasn't so much as he didn't want it proven he was broken, it's that he honestly doesn't think there's anything wrong with him. He thinks he's completely normal. He has no ability to self-evaluate. He thinks everyone around him is screwed in the head, not him. His elaborate conspiracy theories about how NBC colluded with a small university in Arkansas to produce a fake video solely to discredit him, his idea that TV ratings have driven millions of people from their jobs, his belief that he's going to lead a movement to reset the world to 1997, not once has he stopped and thought "wow, that's pretty crazy, maybe I should rethink my life for a while rather than sperg on the internet". Unless he's forced into therapy he likely never will question himself.
 
... he is so poorly off in the braincase that he will die within a week due to starvation and thirst without ma Sweet.

I don't think he'd die of thirst. I am entirely confident that he knows the location of numerous fetid puddles and stagnant cricks within the borders of the Mold Kingdom. He would die of some waterborne disease long before he starved to death.
 
Is "Bam! Roasted" some comedian's catchphrase, like something his beloved Andrew Dice Clay or Rush Limbaugh says? Actually, maybe I mean Bill Cosby, given his lovingly-drawn belief that rape is a natural, normal, and harmless consequence of becoming drunk in the presence of a man. Also: Sweet's got a grasp on canine anatomy like he does on computer technology. In the famous Dog Anus Panel, evidently executed in the cartoonist's Blew Period, the poor dog's rear toes are pointed nearly all the way backward. A dog's legs are not set into its body in the same way as a lizard's. But nobody told him...
 
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I vaguely remember that "Bam, oven roasted!" phrase going around as a meme, but that was a while ago, like maybe 2005? 2004? So in other words, it's current, hip and edgy for this guy!
 
I vaguely remember that "Bam, oven roasted!" phrase going around as a meme, but that was a while ago, like maybe 2005? 2004? So in other words, it's current, hip and edgy for this guy!

Maybe he meant boom roasted from The Office?


Or he was trying to copy that tom Arnold voiced oven mitt from the Arbys commercials of 2003,2004?
 
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